The Prime Minister today announced that he had undergone a Pauline conversion and repudiated his previous views on ‘market fundamentalism’.
He admitted that the Government had strayed too far from a sensible economic course, and had no business in our bedrooms.
Announcing a change in direction by the Government, the Prime Minister said that the size and reach of government had grown too far and must be reduced. He committed to returning the Budget to balance by 2012 through a mixture of substantial cuts in public spending and promised further income tax cuts. He promised to cut the size of the public service by 25 per cent within three years and abolish several departments with immediate effect, including the Department of Climate Change.
He said that all future public spending would be subject to rigorous cost benefit testing.
He announced the end of the $43 billion national broadband network.
He said that the Government would introduce vouchers for primary and secondary education, and improve health care by privatising all public hospitals with subsidised health insurance being the primary tool of public funding for hospitals.
Finally, the Prime Minister promised to embrace libertarian economic principles in the formulation of future economic policy.
Maybe they can use Google’s new OCCA maps (http://google-au.blogspot.com/2010/04/maps-just-got-occa.html) to highlight the locations of all the locations where they are planning to not spend money.
HeathG
1 Apr 10 at 8:15 am
I thought I would never say this, but Dr Death has got my vote.
Entropy
1 Apr 10 at 8:21 am
Is he going to write a critical review of the forthcoming book on neoliberalism by Robert Manne and David Knight? Will The Monthly print it?
Rafe
1 Apr 10 at 8:43 am
Apparently they are mandating free blow jobs for all property lawyers, so I’m pretty happy. It’s called Building the Ejaculation Revolution.
pedro
1 Apr 10 at 8:51 am
Happy April Fools Day, all.
dover_beach
1 Apr 10 at 8:53 am
Dover – you’re supposed to be more subtle with such comments. The idea is to create a small group of insiders that know the plot and that wink at eachother, not to blow the lid off things with such blatant revelations. I’m very disappointed in you. Next year I don’t think we should let you play.
TerjeP (say Tay-a)
1 Apr 10 at 9:06 am
What’s the government allegedly been doing in our bedrooms?
steve from brisbane
1 Apr 10 at 9:10 am
I got hart flutters and then realized it was April fools day. That’s not bloody funny, Samuel Not funny at all.
JC1
1 Apr 10 at 9:13 am
Terje, I would have played along if the narrative was somewhat believable.
dover_beach
1 Apr 10 at 9:25 am
<i.He admitted that the Government had strayed too far from a sensible economic course, and had no business in our bedrooms.
Actually, the only area of our lives tnat has become freer is sexual perversion. I can sodomise myself with a goat whilst having a gang bang with 13 lesbian pygmies and that’s completely cool. No need to feel any shame whatsoever. However, if I attempt to have a post coital cigarette, It’s the lepers bell for me.
Infidel Tiger
1 Apr 10 at 10:47 am
There’s a great sign in Scotland “Welcome to Scotland where you can shag a fag but you can’t smoke one”
tal
1 Apr 10 at 10:53 am
I really don’t think the non-fagging would apply in Glasgow on a Saturday night, tal.
BirdLab
1 Apr 10 at 10:55 am
What’s the government allegedly been doing in our bedrooms?
They want to ban your Tony Abbott blow-up doll, Steve.
Get rid of it now, for your own good.
C.L.
1 Apr 10 at 11:14 am
The Al Gore one too.
C.L.
1 Apr 10 at 11:14 am
And here I was, CL, being nice by holding back on my comment that you and JC should just get a room, after one of your intense mutual admiration exchanges last night. I know there would be plenty of cigarettes smoked afterwards.
steve from brisbane
1 Apr 10 at 12:12 pm
Steve:
Unlike you, CL posts funny and to the points comments which seem to hit home. I look forward to what he’s picked up.
It’s always the guys schtick with you, isn’t it, you boring dope.
JC1
1 Apr 10 at 12:34 pm
A room, JC, a room…
steve from brisbane
1 Apr 10 at 12:41 pm
Steve:
You are one strange creepy dude.
JC1
1 Apr 10 at 12:43 pm
OK, Steve, you can keep the Gore doll – the one with the touch-activated voice box that tells you you’re getting warmer.
Better?
C.L.
1 Apr 10 at 12:49 pm
Where r u JC, you’ve been unusually cranky all day?
steve from brisbane
1 Apr 10 at 12:49 pm
I’m sure I have missed something. It seem that JC is now followed by a numeral. Whats with the uno?
TerjeP (say taya)
2 Apr 10 at 1:03 am
Terje
I’m away at the mom and didn’t want to screwing up JC by getting it dumped into moderation when I get back.
Steve:
I’m in the Caribbean staying with old friends. The island is full of the most gorgeous French and Italian women ever created by god.
I’m turning Christian because if this is like heaven I want to go there.
JC1
2 Apr 10 at 10:17 am
We need more of this:
http://www.zdnet.com.au/google-to-leave-australia-over-evil-filter_print-339302180.htm
Michael Sutcliffe
2 Apr 10 at 12:13 pm