Kevin Rudd, the man from Nambour, was on a roll. He could sense his time approaching; the second coming when he would at last, through his munificence, perpetuate Kevin’s Labor Party (KLP). The tension was palpable. His first incarnation had ended badly when, in an unprovoked but unusual misjudgment, he allowed his enemies to gain the upper hand. Kevin would not fail the second time – the second Rudd Administration would surpass the wildest dreams of his acolytes.
The Member for Griffith departed on a world tour to great acclaim. In the United States he met interlocutors such as Kissinger, Obama, Kennedy, Roosevelt and Tipp O’Neill. Rudd’s speeches – in English and Spanish – were studiously copied and pamphlets distributed on his One Hundred and Thirty Nine Points. In Chicago, Rudd met both Mayor Rahm Emanuel and former Mayor Richard J. Daley, stating
It is also a great honour to be welcomed so warmly here during my first visit to this great city of Chicago – including being received by Mayor Rahm Emanuel and Mayor Richard Daley. We are the greatest friends of the great city of Chicago, where we spent our formative years in poverty but through our drive and ingenuity rose to greatness in Australia and the world.
In London, Rudd granted an audience to Elizabeth II and Churchill, the latter declaring that Rudd’s mastery of the English language surpassed his own. Prime Minister Cameron pledged allegiance to the Ruddster, predicting that Rudd would soon lead Australia to greatness. Churchill stated
Never in the course of human history has so much been owed by so many to one man: Kevin Michael Rudd.
And so Rudd’s pilgrimage attracted scores of admirers and converts. At last feeling it time to return to his kin, Rudd received a hero’s reception on landing at Brisbane International Airport. Paul Howes, Julia Gillard and Quentin Bryce awaiting the Great Man’s return, pledged their loyalty to his cause.
Rudd Mark II, born 31 July 2012.