Pomo goes to work

I think people should use words like ‘heteronormative’ more often. I had no idea it existed, but I knew what it meant immediately upon reading it. When included in the phrase

heteronormative, white, elitist opinions

I was bowled over. Fantastic. Such language can only originate from the product of an elite university education. Here we are at the very pinnacle of western civilisation.

So long story short – journalism student gets an internship at the Herald Sun, is totally appalled by the experience and writes up the horror in the uni newspaper.

Men were also continuously and unnecessarily sexist, waiting for me to walk through doors and leave the elevator before them.

I’m so ashamed – I do that all the time, waiting for females to go through doors and the like – just part of my elitist, heteronormative, white way of doing things I guess. Mind you I suspect this person would be in her early twenties so I’m a bit surprised that she hadn’t encountered this sort of thing before.

In all seriousness there is something fundamentally wrong with a journalism education that leads to comments like this:

Newspapers aren’t just stories.They’re not scraps of paper with people’s opinions scrawled on them. They are a key component in democracy, in reflecting and sustaining social commentary and values. They affect politics, sports, crime,campaigns—hell, they can even sway you on what to eat for dinner.

All of that is true – but secondary. First thing is to sell newspapers – tell the story, get the news out, do it well, and then all those good things follow.

Earlier this year the Australian had a piece on journalism schools and the divide between academic and practice in Australia.

Now the field of journalism studies has become much more academic and teachers are more distant from the concerns of working journalists.”

Now I understand that divide exists and isn’t always for the worse but here is the problem:

Chris Mitchell, editor-in-chief of The Australian, believes the problem is both cultural and political. “The media studies academic class is far removed from the concerns of viewers and readers and is engaged in a sociological project to change the world in its image. That is, to infect people with progressive left ideology,” he says.

The media studies class is so infected with postmodernism, facts no longer matter to it.

I suspect that someone who carries an about ‘heteronormative, white, elitist opinion’ is not going to be employable in any media or public relations position.

Lose the attitude, get a work ethic, and you can be as bolshie as you like, after you’ve proven yourself.

Update: 50 shades of pomo written by our intern – probably not work safe if you worry about such things.
(via Facebook)

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161 Responses to Pomo goes to work

  1. Bill

    She’d be very employable in the civil service, academia and NGO land though. All are growth sectors.

  2. I thought the title was “”Porno goes to work”"‘ – my bad eyes – disappointing.

  3. Martin

    The Age will snap her up!

  4. JamesK

    Heronormative is merely leftist short-hand for homophobic, islamophobic, sexist, xenophobic, racist anglo-saxon/celtic white bigot.

    You can quote me.

  5. Jazza

    And had those male journos NOT opened the door or stood aside for Miss petulant Petal, they would still have been slammed by her!
    She was always a hissy fit waiting for an excuse to happen!

  6. Sinclair Davidson

    laterite – sorry. But read the update.

  7. What would these people do without the government to employ them? I can’t see how they would survive in the real world. What possible goods or services would she produce that someone would voluntarily pay for?

  8. Matt

    Newspapers aren’t just stories.They’re not scraps of paper with people’s opinions scrawled on them. They are a key component in democracy, in reflecting and sustaining social commentary and values. They affect politics, sports, crime,campaigns—hell, they can even sway you on what to eat for dinner.

    Bugger me but aren’t “journalists” full of themselves. Someone ought to tell them they are just the hacks who write the stuff to fit around the advertisements.

  9. Gab

    Well ain’t she the little hothouse orchid. An HR manager’s nightmare and future sex discrimination plaintiff.

  10. Infidel Tiger

    Her Lez out story was pretty good.

    She could get a job writing letters to Penthouse Forum.

  11. Myrrdin Seren

    Oh noooooes

    All her little class mates at MU Journalism School will stampede over here from Vexnews now – where Landeryou has been doing an heroic job of drawing the hostile fire down upon himself up till now !

  12. coz

    I just posted this over at the other site but he’s moderating comments so it might take a while to show.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPanQpJrsLA

  13. John Mc

    I think she’s got a point on the manners thing. If she looks anything like I imagine she does I’d be sure to let the door slam in her face every time, and if it came down to her and me going for a taxi in the rain, I’d be sure to get in first.

    And if she ever f*cking referred to me as ‘mate’ I would very curtly point out that ‘I’m not your mate, darl’.

  14. Infidel Tiger

    She looks like a lesbian. Not like the kind of lesbian hetero males wished lesbians looked like.

  15. Sinc, that completes the picture it so well. She’s a femme fatale http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8IV6lJSm1c

  16. Gab

    Some classic comments at Vex, MS.

    Oh great, just what the world needs. Another privileged brat with Mummy and Daddy issues who flicks the switch to angry dyke mode at Uni.
    Boring.

  17. blogstrop

    The media studies academic class is far removed from the concerns of viewers and readers and is engaged in a sociological project to change the world in its image. That is, to infect people with progressive left ideology

    Who’d a thunk it?

  18. Richard D

    Jargon is very useful for the Left

    First of all it defines you as part of the in crowd, useful if you want to be intellectually & ideolically superior.

    Secondly you don’t have to argue your point (which is good if you want to maintain that sense of superiority, you just label those who question you).
    Also not too many people are going to argue with you anyway because they have to be familiar with the Jargon which has probably just be made up 5 minutes ago.

    You can also make up & change the meanings as you go if you feel challenged & want to belittle others even more.

    Very important to maintain that sense of superiority & ideological purity if you are going to change the world & language is very important in that process.

  19. TerjeP

    At least by the end we get to find out her outlook on climate change:-

    I’ll never be employed by The Hun, but that’s not something I mourn. I usually feel sad when poring over decreasing readerships and closed mastheads. But any force—declining revenue, ethical maelstroms, online competition—that can injure this publication, should be met with party poppers, streamers and a piñata of a certain “climate skeptic’s” head.

  20. Myrrdin Seren

    It’s still on over at Landeryou’s, Gab.

    MUSoJ alumni seem to have a computer programme which clunks out boilerplate statements of outrage for them to add to their class project on ‘Finkying Andrew Landeryou – a Social Justice Pedagogy’.

    I expect calls for Landeryou’s banishment from Australia to be trending on The Conversation by tomorrow.

  21. lotocoti

    I’m disappointed the CoS didn’t send our future-communications-director-for-a-string-of-failed-greens-candidates off to do the court round somewhere interesting, like the Werribee Magistrates’.

  22. John Mc

    Can someone enlighten me on where VexNews sits? Some sort of pro-conservative old-skool Labor?

  23. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    Hey Coz, loved that ‘taking offense’ skit on your link. A brilliant bit of fencing (a sport I enjoy). Owes a lot to the Python philosophers’ football match though.

    I think you once introduced a new word to the Cat – ‘homosocial’. All the guys getting it together over a beer or nine I guess, sans girls.

    I said on Blair’s thread about this work experience chick that this little sweetie would be cataleptic if she came over to Catallaxy. Don’t want to drag the hordes over of course, but I’d love to see them bleat before fainting away in horror.

  24. drpage

    She’s actually a very good writer. If she loses the post-modern jargon she’ll go far.

  25. Myrrdin Seren

    Hey John Mc

    Think your instinct about young Landeryou is a good summation of where he comes from – old school Labor Right.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Landeryou

  26. But wouldn’t you love to see the resulting meltdown if she came here, Lizzie?
    I’d pay good money for that.

    Jokes aside, it would be interesting to see what a psych review would make of her.

  27. coz

    Journalism never used to be a gotta hava degree career, it was mostly apprenticeships.

    The shift to a degree requirement means a 3 year spell in an indoctrination camp, but then the unis were only too glad to swallow that.

  28. .

    I’ll never be employed by The Hun, but that’s not something I mourn. I usually feel sad when poring over decreasing readerships and closed mastheads. But any force—declining revenue, ethical maelstroms, online competition—that can injure this publication, should be met with party poppers, streamers and a piñata of a certain “climate skeptic’s” head.

    Wow. She thinks News Corp is in trouble?

  29. thefrollickingmole

    Ooooh isnt she so…precious.

    A better title for he piece might have been “Waaaah not everyone holds my opinions”.

    And whos taxes pay for this sort of indoctrination?

  30. Dakingisdead

    I would be one of those ones who held the door open for her. The second time though I’d let it smack her in the face.

    What a pretentious load of drivel in both instances.

  31. TerjeP

    I met Andrew Landeryou a while back and shared a few beers. He does harker from old school Labor but seems to have moved on from there as Labor has slowly gone mad.

  32. Feel a bit sorry for her. She can’t have expected that her piece for Farrago – normally a paper that’s not seen outside of Melbourne Uni’s borders – would be spotted (I presume it was Tim Blair who broke the story), and she would be identified by the Hun staff she did her internship with. And her article is written well, for the most part.

    Actually I think Farrago’s looking pretty good this year – I picked up a copy a few months ago and, well, here you go. Oh look, there’s that word again!

  33. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    Just told da Hairy Irish Ape he was being heteronormative. I rang his PA to leave a message for him to call me back about availability because I wanted to book tickets for us for the ballet in Sydney soon (thought I heard her stifle a guffaw at that). He rang back fairly pronto and said, no, no, I’ll do a lot for you Mavourneen, but not that. Go with your girlfriends.

    So I will. Extra flight up and down etc.

    Da Ape and I have compromised on a night out together at South Pacific, direct from the Lincoln Centre Theater. Gonna wash that man …etc. Heteronormative, I’ll say again, when he comes home tonight and I’ll make him watch me dance a bit of the Sugar Plum Fairy from Coppelia with me humming the tune – da da dumpt dum da da dum da da dum da da da da dum, drada da da: curtsey, applause.

    I know he once went to see Swan Lake, years ago, but now he says it was only because he was trying to appeal to a chick whose sister was in it.

  34. TerjeP

    By the way what are the rules on outing those that write here anonymously? That could be amusing. :-)

  35. Crekshun, your honour!

    She was outed by both The Age and 3AW, but they seem to have used contacts at the uni to find out her identity. The Hun didn’t out her as far as I can see.

  36. H B Bear

    thrusting phallus of patriarchy

    Posted by womyn hatred | August 9, 2012, 0:59

    I think I have found the name of my next boat.

  37. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    Fucked up lezo encounters during period of obligatory lefty uni have-a-go lesbianism (didn’t play too well with me, nice to chat and start to get cuddley angel, but no thanks, byeeee): so who cares?

    Feel sorry this girl was outed to the world at large TerjeP. Juvenilia should remain in its rightful place: mostly unread and ignored. I’ve got some terrible poems I could show you.

    I think she can write a bit though. She should keep trying. With luck she’ll end up in a very heteronormative place.

  38. coz

    It’s well known that people who seek public prominence will have their university history/writings dredged up, especially people in politics, because a lot of recruiting is done on university campuses. No need to feel sorry for anyone who wrote or did dumb stuff at uni.

    Incidentally Lizzie, men used to love going to the ballet when that was your only chance of seeing some ankles and a see-thru tutu. How times have changed.

  39. Ronaldo

    ‘Heteronormative’ is fairly passe by now, but I really liked ‘transphobic’, which I haven’t heard before. I think my dog may suffer from transphobia.

  40. On the first day of my placement, senior journalists and the editor of The Hun reviewed a piece about an overweight man who was
    endeavoring to lose 200kg through hypnosis. Comments in the news conference included “Of course he’s fat, look at what he eats” and “How does someone let that happen?”

    Was written by the same person who wrote:

    You could have tattoos, if you want. And maybe you’ll wear your hair like a 1950’s pin up girl but hate lipstick. You’ll be skinnier than
    I am, but I won’t mind because you don’t give a shit about body types. You’ll eat like a hungry fat kid and smoke all the time and wave your hands around when you talk and smoke will trail through the air. You could be vegan and laugh at me while I struggle not to eat ice- cream, and then you’ll hand me an Oreo and kiss me with chocolate in your teeth. Or maybe you’ll just really fucking love parmas and beer,
    and that’s all you eat. Either one is ok.

    These pretentious, precious twats infuriate me. Their hypocrisy really does know no bounds. So it’s okay for her to use a stereotype of fat people for a lighthearted metaphor, but comments as to a fat person’s eating habits by people that you feel yourself better than aren’t allowed?

    I hope she gets hit with the reality stick real soon. Like when this economy crashes and she has to get a real job. After all, there are only so many drive through windows to go around.

  41. mauriej

    Clearly first class hons material, ph d in journalism then an academic career. Then appointment to a medis inquiry when ALP gets back in in 2042.

  42. Rabz

    but I really liked ‘transphobic’, which I haven’t heard before

    Yes, as I noted yesterday over at the Blair’s, I initially thought it was a fear of transfats*, but evidently not…

    *Nanny bloomberg, come on down!

  43. Lizzie, try this for some different, non-wussy ballet. Your Hairy Irish Ape might find that more appealing.

  44. So it’s okay for her to use a stereotype of fat people for a lighthearted metaphor,

    Of course it is Nilk. She’s from the Left. She cares! So that means she can be a nasty little bitch and it doesn’t matter.

  45. candy

    I read the article some of it but could not connect with much of it at all, i just skipped through really, I think it’s meant for other journalists to read not ordinary people?

  46. Sinclair Davidson

    She was outed by both The Age and 3AW

    I saw her identity at the Age this morning. A bit rude I thought. It looks like they simply asked the uni editors for a name and they handed it over.

  47. Gab

    She’s a budding Catherine Deveny.

  48. Squawkbox

    Have a bit of compassion, people. Several years at melbourne uni, and she suddenly has to spend a week surrounded by normal people. Naturally it’s a shock.

  49. Gab

    Interestingly, it’s her second (or third?) work experience at the Herald office.

  50. coz

    This is why political parties need to stop recruiting thru university politics.

  51. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    Well Nilk, there are a thousand tales in teh Naked City and this is just one of them. Let that marine dance his little socks off, good for him. Actually, I did get da Hairy Ape to a dance class once, with his friend Bruce (seriously, Bruce). They were dreadful. All feet, body hair out of control, no rhythm, perving on the girls, puffing in the tough bits, and being so hideously, obviously heteronormative. They were told they were more suited to beginners level, so they went to the pub to wait for me. Just to begin, darlin’, just to begin, said da Ape.

    TimT, love your stuff.

    I think I have found the name of my next boat.

    H B. Bare, I dare you, I just dare you. Da Ape thoroughly approves, by the way, so get in first before he buys that boat he’s been weening after and gets in before you. He has no shame about such plagiarism, sad to say.

  52. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    Nor has he shame about his heteronormitivitah Rabz. :)

    I waved your link at him. He waved back to her with her little sandy toes.

  53. Squawkbox

    I was thinking ‘thrusting phallus of patriarchy’ would be a great name for a band

  54. Oh, my bad, Winston.I keep forgetting that the protected class can pretty much say what they want. Kind of like all whites are racist.

  55. JC

    Went to a valedictory/graduation last night at Melbourne for my kid. There were a host of degrees, masters and Phd’s given.

    The Phd’s were interesting. The hard sciences and economics were giving for some decent work like the study of sparking damaged nerves back to life and in economics, the study of spread blowouts and forward looking indicators during a fin crisis. Okay any trader worth a nickel would be able to explain this one, but at least it put into academic speak.

    In amongst these there were the Phd’s given for Arts. One was the study how American values in US foreign policy got in the way of normalizing or improving relations with Iran during the presidency of you guessed it.. George Bush. Another was the study of a Labor party icon during the 1800′s.

    At the start of the ceremony the VC welcomed us and gave recognition to the original owners on whose land we were meeting.

    What the hell is going on in academia?

  56. mareeS

    Not being a meanie or anything, but Lizzie, really, too much information. Speaking from personal experience, booze and confession are not a good mix on the interweb. Everyone remembers the collywobbles and puts them back up at you (sayz me, speaking from experience).

    However, I like reading your posts, especially recent confessions. Life is interesting.

  57. brc

    What the hell is going on in academia?

    I have two relatives in academia currently.

    One would get along with this Burden girl. While not officially a lesbian, she goes to all the gay marriage marches and spends her time cussing like Catherine Deveney, whom she idolises. This person will one day teach primary school if grades are passed (sometimes doubtful).

    The other is studying economics and accounting and spends most of the time listening to people smarter tham him. It’s rare to get an opinion out, mostly because he realises he hasn’t really learnt much yet so doesn’t feel able to speak up.

    I know which one will be the more successful in life. And which one will become old and bitter.

  58. Play the heteronormativity game! Slip the word ‘heteronormativity’ or ‘heteronormative’ into a phrase from a book, play, or poem and see how it ends up!

    “To be or not to be heteronormative,
    That is the question.”

    “In my younger and more heteronormative years, my father said to my something which I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since…”

  59. Tom

    She’s actually a very good writer. If she loses the post-modern jargon she’ll go far.

    Give us a spell. Writing isn’t making smartarse sentences. It requires empathy and insight. Journalism also requires the ability to tell fact from fiction (not a lot of that about since Fairfax went full retard). She sounds like she has about as much empathy for her fellow humans as any angry, sociopathic, twentysomething ingester of chemicals. In journalism, I’d expect to find her on police rounds – as a corpse in the nightclub district.

  60. “In the beginning was the word, and the word was heteronormative.”

  61. Gab

    “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of heteronormativity…”

  62. squawkbox

    Give me heteronormativity or give me death!

  63. dover_beach

    Bliss was it in that dawn to be alive, But to be heteronormative was very heaven!

  64. squawkbox

    “But Brutus says he was heteronormative. And Brutus is an honourable man”

  65. candy

    “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is heteronormative in its own way.”

  66. John Mc

    It is a truth heteronormatively acknowledged……..

  67. Gab

    Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just heteronormative?

  68. candy

    “Our Father who art in heaven
    Heteronormative be thy name”

  69. “Out, damned heteronormativity”

    “I wandered lonely as a cloud that floats on high o’er vales and hills,
    When all at once I saw a crowd, a host of heteronormatives.”

  70. candy

    “Heteronormatives all let us rejoice
    For we are young and free”

  71. boy on a bike

    I guess there’s no chance of her passing Ethics of Journalism 101 after that piece. Hasn’t she seen Fight Club and know the First Rule?

  72. Enough!
    You’re all being silly.

    In a heteronormative fashion of course…

  73. boy on a bike

    Heteronormatives give the nod
    It’s a setback for your country

  74. “Moby Dick”

    -by-

    Heteronormative Melville

  75. dd

    Several definitions of heteronormative at urban dictionary.
    please note that you can vote different definitions “thumbs up” or “thumbs down” at urban dictionary.

  76. candy

    and finally …

    “to be a heteronormative
    or not to be a heteronormative
    that is the question”

  77. I suppose it would be a bit toooo ironic to quote the Communist Manifesto with ‘heteronormative’ randomly inserted?

  78. dover_beach

    sfb, that was amusing.

  79. dover_beach

    Nilk, for you:

    Men or women of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your heteronormativity.

  80. Gab

    “Good friends, good books, and heteronormatvity: this is the ideal life”

  81. The Hunted Mind

    Actually, I like her after reading that article in the update. It reminds me of something I’ve often noticed about lefties: They are fun, personable people who make great friends. They just shouldn’t be let anywhere near money or power.

  82. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    Not being a meanie or anything, but Lizzie, really, too much information.

    Some threads are for fun, some are for serious.

    I don’t think you are ever for fun, MareeS. Lighten up, lollypop.

    Go and make a considered reply to my long and serious comment on the Vice-Chancellor thread, dreary.

  83. brian of Moorabbin

    “I find your lack of heteronormativity disturbing…”

  84. boy on a bike

    What is best in life? To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their heteronormatives.

  85. Brian of Moorabbin

    “Some things in life are bad
    They can really make you mad
    Other things just make you swear and curse.
    When you’re chewing on life’s gristle
    Don’t grumble, give a whistle
    And this’ll help things turn out for the best…

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand..
    Always look on the Heteronormative side of life..”
    *whistles*

  86. Rabz

    The quality of heteronormativity is not strained…

  87. Gab

    “Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to be heteronormative”.

  88. Splatacrobat

    101 Heteronormations

  89. mareeS

    Lizzie, of course some places are for fun and some are for serious, but there seems to be a lot of anguish and personal confession happening here recently.

    It was better when it was just about economics.

  90. The Hunted Mind

    Re-read that article and noticed that the last two paragraphs remind me of what I hate about lefties: The self-righteous bullshit. It’s a fucking drug for them. She could’ve just left those last two out and finished on a cute, whimsical note, but oh no, she has destroy the whole tone of the thing to score a point.

  91. Brian of Moorabbin

    All free men, wherever they may live, are citizens of Berlin. And therefore, as a free man, I take pride in the words “Ich bin ein Heteronormative!”

  92. Rabz

    All animals are equal, but some animals are more heteronormative than other animals.

  93. Tom

    My tomatoes are looking all pale and saggy and bug-bitten. Would putting them them under tin in the cellar with the dope plants make them more heteronormative?

  94. Gab

    “Lock up your libraries if you like, but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my heteronormativity”.

  95. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    booze and confession are not a good mix on the interweb.

    Are you talking about this thread, mareeS, or something else? I am stone cold sober tonight, drink very little in general, actually.

    Anyway, you are not my mother. Leave off.

  96. Brian of Moorabbin

    “By 1990 no Australian child will live in heteronormativity!”

  97. candy

    It’s long way to the top
    if you wanna be heteronormative”

  98. Brian of Moorabbin

    “There will be no Heteronormativity under a government I lead….”

  99. Gab

    “It’s the heteronormativity we had to have”.

  100. Splatacrobat

    After introducing the CPRS Labor move to implement the HPRS
    (Heteronormative Progressive Reassignment Scheme)

  101. dover_beach

    You must understand, sir, that a person is either with heteronormativity or he must be counted against it, there be no road between. This is a sharp time, now, a precise time—we live no longer in the dusky afternoon when evil mixed itself with good and befuddled the world. Now, by God’s grace, the shining sun is up, and them that fear not heteronormativity will surely praise it.

  102. Brian of Moorabbin

    US Forces give the nod
    It’s a set back for your Heternormativity…

  103. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    Come on MareeS. How about some economics, on the serious thread? What should be done about pedagogy in higher education? Is education a social ‘good’ or is it basically an economic function? Is Daddy Dave right in saying that it will be taken over by institutions or organisations other than universities? Eat your meat, Maree. And don’t tell me you’re a vegan.

  104. candy

    what’s happening with the NHIS (National Heteronormative Insurance Scheme)?

  105. C.L.

    I opened the door for a gal yesterday.

    It was hard to tell how old she was as she approached. Turns out she was about 16, I think.

    She was a big girl – kind of portly, I mean.

    She thanked me and looked shyly proud and chuffed. It was as though mine was the first chivalrous door offered her. So it was a nice experience.

  106. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    We are heteronormativity, heteronormativity is us.

    Long live heteronormativity!

  107. Gab

    I had a young man open a door for me today. He was maybe 19yo. I thanked him and he smiled shyly, as if it was a lame thing to do for me but his good breeding won out.

  108. Splatacrobat

    The Deputy Editor’s name was Orville
    By God he was Heteronormal
    He would open the doors for all the whores
    Who entered News’ stable

  109. WhaleHunt Fun

    Heteronormative is not a word. Noises made by inanimate objects and nonsentient creatures may be used by those creatures for the limited range of communication needed in their rudimentary existence, e.g. crickets making that awful racket, but such noises are only words when used by people. Most uni students do not fall into that category, there being no response to stimuli (“good morning” … response: “unghmff”) and no observable learning behaviour.

  110. Gab

    “Heteronormative is not a dirty word
    Don’t you believe what you’ve seen or you’ve heard”

  111. Splatacrobat

    One small step for man, one giant leap for Heteronormatives.

  112. thfrollickingmole

    Try the whole Cis??? privelidge meme for a complete headf*ck…
    Seriously, this list is a mile long.. and a baseline for transexual rights…The Cisgender/Cissexual Privilege Checklist
    Kudos to Peggy McIntosh for her White Privilege Checklist, inspirer of this list and all-around rad resource worth reading more than once. An older version of the cis privilege checklist is available at T-Vox.

    Very frequently people like to direct other people to privilege checklists in order to “prove” to them the reality of that privilege. If that’s why someone sent you here, you have my sympathy–it’s obnoxious, isn’t it? So, before you read this list, check out some caveats, explanations, and definitions I’ve set up; they might make it a bit easier for you to read from the right headspace, and easier to understand.

    Basicaly if i claim to be a woman and then go in the womans change rooms andwash my balls in the sink, you cant be offended…
    So, for everyone: Don’t quibble with privilege lists. If you read them from a standpoint of wanting to deny your privilege, you’ll come out having successfully denied it but learning nothing. Read sympathetically and think about it. If there’s something that seems like a privilege not all cis people have, try to consider about why someone would put it on the list, what larger scale patterns I might be to pointing to, rather than just rejecting it whole cloth. If there’s something you want to refine, or make better, add, or something you want clarified, let me know. This list is subject to continual revision without notice.

  113. I’m going to go to sleep now with the “Heteronormative Chorus” ringing through my mind.

  114. candy

    Hell hath no fury like a heteronormative scorned

  115. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    She thanked me and looked shyly proud and chuffed. It was as though mine was the first chivalrous door offered her. So it was a nice experience.

    C.L. I think secretly, unless we’ve been completely addled by ideology, most girls like to be made to feel special in some way by a man. This was a lovely and courteous gesture and I bet you made her day.

  116. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    Hell hath no fury like a heteronormative scorned

    Good one, Candy.

    Or, in my case, to a heteronormative criticised. Just ask da Hairy Ape.

  117. Le Chiffre

    Well may we say “God save the Queen”, because nothing will save the Heteronormative!

  118. Le Chiffre

    ‘I tell you what, any boss who sacks anyone for being Heteronormative is a bum’

  119. JamesK

    Heteronormative And homonormative live together in perfect harmony
    Side by side in the Marriage Act oh lord why don’t we pass the damned legislation?

    We all know that people are the same where ever you go
    There is homo and hetero in everyone
    We learn to live we learn to give each other what we need to survive together alive

    Heteronormative And homonormative live together in perfect harmony
    Side by side in the Marriage Act oh lord why don’t we be fair and pass the legislation?

    Heteronormative, homonormative living in pefect harmony
    Heteronormative, homonormative oh..

  120. Splatacrobat

    Mr. Darcy: So this is your opinion of me. Thank you for explaining so fully. Perhaps these offences might have been overlooked had not your pride been hurt by my Heternormative honesty.

    Elizabeth Bennet: I can open my own door thank you very much.

  121. Splatacrobat

    This royal throne of kings, this sceptred isle,
    This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,
    This other Eden, demi-paradise,
    This fortress built by Nature for herself
    Against infection and the hand of war,
    This happy breed of Heteronormatives.

  122. mareeS

    Gosh, Lizzie, you’ve put some talking points up. Here in maree’s house we’re good on Economics, finance etc, what we do in that area supports us very well, just waiting until this foul government gets booted and better times come along. Education, of course it’s a social good and public education is just fine but private is better. Private has worked for our kids very well.

    Daddy Dave is correct about universities. My view is that certain courses are best left at trade certificate level.

    As for vegans, they’re pathetic losers. Don’t ever put me in the same dining room.

  123. Splatacrobat

    For the term of his Heteronormative life.

  124. Brian of Moorabbin

    The Good, The Bad, and The Heteronormative

  125. Gab

    “We few, we happy few, we band of Heteronormatives;”

  126. Brian of Moorabbin

    I know someone already did part of Marc Antony’s speech from Shakespeare’s ‘Julis Caeser’, but I have to throw this one in:

    “Friends, Romans, Countrymen… lend me your Heteronormatives..”

  127. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    Hugs, then, Maree. I agree with you entirely.

    “The quality of heteronormativity is not strained,
    It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath,
    It is twice blessed, it blesseth him that gives and him that takes”.

  128. Brian of Moorabbin

    “He’s not the messiah… he’s a very naughty Heteronormative!”

  129. Cold-Hands

    “I love the smell of Heteronormatives in the morning.”

  130. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    “Happy heteronormatives are all alike; every unhappy heteronormative is unhappy in its own way.”

  131. Cold-Hands

    “O brave new world. That has such Heteronormatives in’t!”

  132. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    “Shall I compare thee to a heteronormative?
    Thou art more lovely, and more … oh whatever.”

    “But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
    Heteronormativity is restor’d and sorrows end”

  133. Brian of Moorabbin

    “I’m as Heteronormative as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore!”

  134. Gab

    “Err, what’s up, heteronormative?”

  135. Cold-Hands

    “May the Heteronormatives be with you!”

  136. Brian of Moorabbin

    “Get yer stinkin’ paws offa me, you damned dirty Heteronormative!”

  137. Gab

    I’m a heteronormative, and I’m okay.
    I sleep all night and I work all day.

    Chorus:
    He’s a heteronormative, and he’s okay.
    He sleeps all night and he works all day.

  138. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    “And behold, normativity begat heteronormativity, which begat hyperheteronormativity, which begat hyperheterohypernormativity, which begat heteronormalnormativity, which begat normalheteronormalnormativity, which begat hypernormalheteronormalnormativity, which beg …. um”

  139. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a heteronormative”

  140. mareeS

    Lizzie, this is even better on the subject of heteronormativity and the rooters in the ALP.-

    “Love ceases to be a pleasure when it ceases to be a secret.” Aphra Behn (1640-1689).

  141. C.L.

    Ping-pong baby heteronormativity.

    Heh?

    Hey?

    What do you think?

  142. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    Indeed, Maree.

    And goodnight to all heteronormatives, wherever you are.

    Sleep heteronormatively.

  143. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    And don’t forget:

    “A spoonful of heteronormality makes the medicine go down”.

  144. Gab

    Leave off with the ping-pong baby, CL. He’s a teenager by now.
    :)

  145. Jarrah

    “I’m a heteronormative, and I’m okay.
    I sleep all night and I work all day.

    Chorus:
    He’s a heteronormative, and he’s okay.
    He sleeps all night and he works all day.”

    So, so meta.

  146. Tom

    As heteronormative as ever, Usain Bolt was casually chatting up the cute little lane attendant before the Olympic 200m final … which he casually won, like a true heteronormative god.

  147. Pickles

    There will be no heteronormativity tax under a government I lead.

  148. Tom

    Where the feminist academic heteronormative epidemic came from:

    Everyone agrees that the Heteronormative Caucasian Patriarchy of Doom is to blame for all of it, but that still leaves the question of dividing up the spoils of the system and all the privileges to be gained from denouncing privilege. A caste system doesn’t work without priority, and calculating the priority of privilege claims by the perpetually underprivileged is complicated.

    H/T Bolt.

  149. Old Fridgie

    All right… all right… but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order… what have the Heteronormatives done for us?

  150. Pickles

    I wear finely tailored suits to work. I am a trained lawyer. I have one child. I am the Finance Minister. How much more heteronormative can you get?

  151. .

    I had a young man open a door for me today. He was maybe 19yo. I thanked him and he smiled shyly, as if it was a lame thing to do for me but his good breeding won out.

    It’s lame when women take their fucking time. You just end up looking like a stooge.

  152. Gab

    It’s lame when women take their fucking time.

    Perhaps they’re lingering just to check you out, Dot.

  153. Winston SMITH

    I didn’t think it would get this far out of hand, it’s become shiiteronormative.
    But in a good way…

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