Groundbreak new climate change research

Today, the Cat has the mother of all scoops. New and groundbreaking research shows that the United Nations causes global warming. 

This is one of those days that will be imprinted in memories: 15 March 44BC, 11 November 1918, 3 September 1939, 22 November 1963 and now 3 December 2012.

In what is sure to be Nobel Prize winning research, this is conclusive proof. The science is settled.

This rigorous statistical analysis and modelling demonstrates the strong link between global warming and the cumulative number of United Nations “International Year of” observances. That is, the more “International Year of X” that the United Nations organises, the more the planet warms.

The chart below shows that there is a strong positive correlation (of 0.86) between the two variables.

Now governments around the world can remove carbon taxes, emissions trading schemes, wind turbine subsidies, etc. They are all harmful. Instead a special levy on proponents of International Year observances will correct this extreme negative externality. The proponents of existing and new International Year observances should pay (by direct credit) to  each and every person in the world who pays tax a sum of $US 15. This would be sufficient, by our estimates, to internalise that negative externality.

As the IPA suggested this line of research, the presently anonymous researchers will be sure to thank the IPA when receiving the Nobel Peace, Physics, Chemistry, Medicine, Literature and Economics prizes.

So go to bed tonight thinking that, at last, we know the causes of climate change. (HT: Noodle)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Note: UN Observances are presently: International Days, International Weeks, International Years and International Decades (plus anniversaries).

Why not International Seconds, Minutes, Hours, Centuries? We could have the International Second for Harmony, the International Century for Peace etc.

About J

J has an economics background and is a part-time consultant
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17 Responses to Groundbreak new climate change research

  1. Tel

    Remember how the correlation between the rise of global temperature and the fall of piracy eventually led to “Talk like a Pirate Day” in a fun effort to prevent the scourge of global warming?

    Well somewhere around 2000 was when the pirate talkers really started to get traction and it has been growing in popularity ever since. So just look at the temperature chart — perfect correlation showing the temperature reaching a peak and levelling out. The unmistakable conclusion is that Talk like a Pirate Day has been the singularly most successful global climate control system ever invented by humans. Might as well disband the IPCC right now, because the problem has been solved by someone else.

  2. SteveC

    Of course it could be the other way round. Global warming causing the “International year of” observances. Makes sense – all that heat causing extra hot air?
    I do note with alarm that the “International year of” observances is increasing at a rate that is non-linear, perhaps polynomial or exponential. Not a good sign if your causality hypothesis is correct.

  3. Mk50 of Brisbane

    Tel has nailed it. The number of pirate attacks in the Red sea has declined and now the world is cooling down.

    It’s not international days that caused glowball warmenating, but pirates.

  4. jumpnmcar

    [ random pirate gag ]
    Some say the pirates favourite letter is R, some believe it’s I, but in reality it’s always been the C.

  5. cohenite

    Of course it could be the other way round. Global warming causing the “International year of” observances. Makes sense – all that heat causing extra hot air?

    Some homework for steve.

  6. Toiling Mass

    Ha! Now Julia has to devise a way to tax the UN.

  7. Carpe Jugulum

    Talk like a Pirate Day has been the singularly most successful global climate control system ever invented by humans.

    Thats right jim lad, so do’n ye fergitt it.

    Now Seaman Staines lets play (with) Roger the cabin boy. aaaarrrrr.

  8. Lazlo

    Don’t forget Master Bates..

  9. jumpnmcar

    Twas on The Good Ship Venus,
    My God ya should have seen us….

  10. Lazlo

    This leads us to the question of the origins of ‘Pugwash’.

    Perhaps it was on the menu in 18th century bath houses – ‘ah, Oi’ll have a Pugwash too’

    But since automated in Japanese toilets.

  11. SteveC

    Thanks cohenite. I’m assuming Samuel J calculated the regression equation of
    GTA=a*CUIYO + b.
    But he doesn’t actually say. And didn’t provide the data. A bit like a lot of your usual links.

    It could have been CUIYO=a*GTA+b

    I have also just noticed the CUIYO is cumulative. Which means it does not meet the definition of an independent variable over time. The number of events in a year is dependent on the year. The number of events this year equals the number last year plus any new events.
    Oh well, back to the drawing board I suppose. Now, where did I put those the CO2 concentration numbers again….

  12. Bruce of Newcastle

    SBS went all in for their nightly news, leading with the 5 C rise by Christmas 2100 story. Doomed we’re all Doomed.

    Simple arthmetic says that this requires 0.55 C rise per decade, 0.11 C each and every couple of years.

    So far during this last decade not even the sign is correct.

    Why do the MSM think we will believe this crap?

  13. cohenite

    I have also just noticed the CUIYO is cumulative. Which means it does not meet the definition of an independent variable over time.

    Very good steve; which means you’re ready for Beenstock.

    And all the data is there for you.

  14. Rabz

    Why do the MSM think we will believe this crap?

    Easy – they assume people are as stupid and gullible as they are.

  15. Simon

    As French is the “International” language why aren’t we insisting on metricly timed periods of social recognition? Surely the failure of global warming to resonate with the starving masses of the world is accentual and we should not make the same mistake with this new evidence. Gallicize it and the world is your oyster I say.

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