Veticare Australia: comprehensive, affordable and caring

Now, from the Party that brought you Medicare, DisabilityCare and GonskiCare, the Gillard Government is proud to present its latest reform: Veticare.  Why should dog and cat owners be discriminated against when providing for the care of their loved and loving animals?

Veticare is the new universal scheme that provides:

  • full health cover (including dental) for all pet dogs and cats including visits to veterinary surgeons and hospital care (which will include scheduled fees and bulk billing where available)
  • paid leave to care for a sick dog or cat (up to three months a year of paid carer’s leave)
  • paid leave to care for pregnant dogs and cats.

Working dogs will not be excluded either. They will be paid full sick and maternity (paternity) leave. Why should that hard working border collie or seeing-eye dog miss out on paid leave?

The Labor Party is proud of its affordable and caring programs. It is also justly proud of its sound management of the Australian economy during the most significant economic crisis the world has ever seen.

A new agency – Veticare Australia – will be established to administer the scheme. I have decided to appoint dog lover Kevin Rudd as the first Chief Executive of Veticare Australia.

To fund the new program, a 0.5 percentage point Vetilevy will be added to the Medicare levy. This will take the Medicare Levy to 2.5% from 1 July 2014.

Don’t let Tony Abbott hurt your pets – Vote Labor to get your dose of Veticare. We won’t sell you a pup!

Veticare: comprehensive, affordable and caring.

beagle

 

 

 

 

 

 

(HT: NC)

UPDATE: Noodle adds the following

We also need a non means tested Petcare rebate, so that people can be subsidised to put their cats and dogs in kennels when they go away on holidays.

 Also, government subsidised obedience lessons for all cats and dogs.

 And when dogs and cats get too old, they need to go into a fully taxpayer funded aged care facility.

 I also propose:

1. The First Doghouse Owner’s Rebate

2. Puppy Bonus – $5000 for each puppy or kitten

3. PetDentiCare – free dental care for your pets

About Samuel J

Samuel J has an economics background and is a part-time consultant
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96 Responses to Veticare Australia: comprehensive, affordable and caring

  1. Mike of Marion

    Will VETICARE also provide cover for my “American Pit Dog” that I trained to like and admire people? I trained him to respect everyone associated with him by putting him in a wheat bag and giving him a hiding. That loving care really has made him love all others about him!!!

  2. val majkus

    Samuel J is this true? If so this Government is mad! And isn’t it discriminatory against non domestic animals? What about feral animal Veticare Centres.
    But I think you’re having us on!

  3. Popular Front

    You are taking the cat piss aren’t you?

  4. Tom

    And MuzziCare. And FordCare. And LyingSlapperCare. Labor Cares.

  5. John A

    Here, hang about!

    What about hamsters and rabbits, pet mice and birds?

    It’s discrimination, I tell ya!

    :-)

  6. Amortiser

    If this were true, I’m sure all pet owners would cringe at the prospect. I’ve often put the analogy of how things would go if the government took over car servicing. How long do you reckon you would have to wait to get your car done if it was set up like Medicare? Of Foodicare? If the government took control of how food was distributed (in the hierarchy of needs, food trumps healthcare) it would not be long before the population would be starving.

  7. Ant's Lab

    So long as no animals are discriminated against based on their breed, gender, physical abilities or colour, I’m all for it.

  8. Steve of Glasshouse

    I’ll show our beagles the article when they have been dried off after their wash..

  9. Fred

    When is the government going to get involved in food. It’s so expensive and I have to spend my own money on it.

    We need a Foodicare Card that allows people to bulk bill at the supermarket or take your receipt down to the Foodicare Office and get a rebate.

    Food is a necessity of life and it should not just be for the rich.

  10. MiltonG

    So how will you draw the line between pets and working animals? We must have a properly funded SPFGDC (Sheep dog, Poddy calf, Ferret & Gerbil Determination Committee) plus secretariat.

    I believe the Climate Change Department building and its denizens become available in late September.

  11. .

    Food is the most essential commodity we have, I say we nationalise it, lest to teach those nature hating, conservative rednecks a good damned lesson in manners!

    We can’t let the profiteering, environmental degradation, homophobia, racism and sexism that happens in country towns to occur!

    Most farms could become profitable ecotourism sites in a few years. The cross cultural mix would enrich the experience of people from the bush and certainly teach them about tolerance!

    It could be funded by a tariff on imports of non GM food and a fat tax. People mightn’t like it but it’s for their own good.

    We could have a counselling service for ex farmers to put them into more fulfilling roles in the tourism industry.

    I think we should call this agency AgriCare and merge it with LandCare.

    Efficient use of nationalised water and intensive organic growth of soya in poly tunnels would grow enough protein to be self sufficient without relying on fishing of our precious and overfished marine life.

    Wheat can be grown on community plots in towns and cities. This will build a sense of community in our fractured social structure.

    Most sites could revert back to native bushland to allow refuge for native animals.

    AgriCare would see huge multiplier effects and only small initial job losses.

  12. Anthony Millman

    I don’t believe it. What pressure will they bring to bear on vets to force them to bulk bill. The vets already know all about over-charging, over-prescribing and over-treating. And their patients never complain!

  13. No way Cats will find this here Veticare lark (who said anything about larks?) popular Samuel!

  14. Eddystone

    And their patients never complain!

    But they do bite!

    I’ve left the profession now, but I used to get a lot of clients asking if I bulk billed.

    They seemed bewildered when I explained I didn’t have a provider number. Many suggested lobbying for a Veticare scheme, presumably on the basis that someone else could then pay for their vet bills. (Actually, quite a few took that option anyway. They left me to pay the bill.)

  15. Rohan

    Food is the most essential commodity we have, I say we nationalise it, lest to teach those nature hating, conservative rednecks a good damned lesson in manners!

    I can’t find the link, but the Heidelberg Leader ran a story in last weeks edition about a council trial program to grow and share produce on your nature strip. So I say nationalise our nature strips. Nothing tastes better than organically grown lettuce that you’re neighbour has grown after every dog in the neighbourhood has marked their territory on it. It’s completely sustainable and all that.

  16. Ronaldo

    Be careful people – however absurd something may seem now, a few years of activism and it will seem like the reasonable thing to do.

    Think gay marriage. Those of us who argued for the repeal of laws against homosexuality in the 1960s and 70s would have ridiculed anyone who said it would lead to demands for gay marriage.

    Medibank Private has a pet insurance scheme to cover vet bills. The only real obstacle to its transformation into Samuel’s proposal is that the Greens generally disapprove of pets.

  17. Robbo

    Another dog of a scheme from Labor. I wouldn’t put it past them to try this out. Desperate people do desperate things and Gillard and her stupid mates have been known to be up for anything and everything.

  18. Megan

    Nothing tastes better than organically grown lettuce that you’re neighbour has grown after every dog in the neighbourhood has marked their territory on it.

    That was exactly my comment after I read this story. I live in the far reaches of the municipality and from 11pm to 6am, after the puppies have gone to bed, our nature strip is the communal possum toilet.

  19. boy on a bike

    We must have this! Think of the puppies! Oh, the humanity!

  20. Paul

    Seems to be a bit dog and catist.

  21. Fleeced

    I know this was a joke, but please don’t give them ideas. LOL

    I can see it now: “Some people are unable to have kids, and have no family at all, aside from their pets. Shouldn’t they receive the same entitlements?

    I’m surprised we haven’t had the resident trolls come and here and accuse Samuel of likening the disabled to animals, by comparing this scheme to NDIS (though it sounds a lot like Abbott’s PPL, too)

    Hockey was on TV the other day, doing that nonsense thing Libs did earlier in comparing PPL to annual leave. I hate entitlement mentality at best of times, but this coming from LNP pissed me off no end. Anyways, Hockey came out later and apologised… for comparing maternity leave to a holiday!

    He should have known better. How misogynist can you get?

  22. Abraham

    I know of a worthless Swan that requires Immediate euthanasing. Will that be covered?

  23. Rabz

    Four legs good, two legs bad!

  24. Leigh Lowe

    Dog feeling off colour?
    Cat off his tucker?

    Rule 303.

  25. Tuttle

    I look forward to the announcement of the Pet Tax Benefit (along the lines of the Family Tax Benefit), and subsidised petcare with its own national quality agenda.

  26. .

    I can’t find the link, but the Heidelberg Leader

    There’s yer problem.

  27. BM

    Peternity Leave. You know it makes sense.

  28. Craig Mc

    Pfft. It doesn’t go far enough.

    I propose ArseCare. Everyone has an arse, they require significant upkeep, and many of these arses are disadvantaged.

    For just .0001% increase in the Medicare levy (+$100B/year in borrowing) the government will wipe your arse, and powder it via our national network of ArseCare centres staffed by qualified and unionised arse specialists.

    Please note that because qualified arse specialists have determined that only arse specialists with qualifications are safe to manage arses, personal arse maintainence will be forbidden.

    ArseCare – worth any price.

  29. .

    It’s gone beyond a simple matter of cost, as Stella says.

  30. The Right (or at least, the small government libertarian right) being unable to bring itself to introduce useful things which prove to be popular and socially advantageous to the less well off in society (such as universal health care and now extended, long term funding for disabilities) is reduced to ridiculing such moves.

    It’s pretty pathetic, really.

  31. Rousie

    Just make sure the Beagle doesn’t double dip

  32. .

    It’s a lie Steve, like 95% of what you say.

    Medicare has seen what outcomes? What improvements to health? It has seen fraud and abuse of public services. Medicare is only relevant to the poor who must bulk bill. That’s what it should be, not tens of billions of churn for everyone else.

    This could be done by making Medicare tiered like a voucher system then HECS which are both means tested.

    Long term funding for disabilities is a myth. The ALP are giving 75% of the costs to the heavily unionised APS.

    It is a sop for the unions and a kick in the face for taxpayers and the disabled.

  33. C.L.

    Is it really wise to give Gillard ideas like this?

    She’ll be in the House holding a poodle and crying about the dog she lost in girlhood to untreated pneumonia before you know it.

  34. Dr Faustus

    The best antidote to an unnatural desire for government to think up “useful things which prove to be popular and socially advantageous to the less well off in society” is to look at the EU.

    There are about 30,000 people employed in Brussels to micro-manage just about all facets of European existence. If you look at long-run EU economic growth as the net sum of all these “useful things” and their supporting policies – you immediately see what a ball-tearer it has been for the productive parts of Europe.

  35. Leigh Lowe

    Major policy flaw.
    Where is the ombudsman?
    Or should I say ombudsmen.
    One for cat complaints, one for disaffected doggies, another for goldfish ……
    If you are going to do it, do it properly.

  36. Leigh Lowe

    The Right (or at least, the small government libertarian right) being unable to bring itself to introduce useful things gouging programs which prove to be popular and socially advantageous to the less well off in society chronically indolent, the recently arrived asylum shopper freeloaders, artists who have no market for their art and those with severe work allergies

  37. The combination of Labor governments introducing broad based reforms imperfectly, and having them later refined (often by Coalition governments, sometimes by future Labor ones) seems to work relatively well.

    I think all sensible people recognize that: we have good arrangements in place for many things by international standards because of the combined efforts of both sides of the political fence.

    Libertarian/small government extremists simply lack the vision to do anything on a wide scale, because government involvement in anything other than a handful of things is always deemed a bad idea; and taxes should only ever go down as an aid to achieving this ideologically driven view.

    It is fortunate they do not often have significant sway in government.

  38. candy

    Beagles are cute pooches, but there’s really only two breeds of dogs – Labradors and all the rest.

  39. Empire Strikes Back

    If you want to sell your soul for a strap-on SoB, that’s your business. Don’t try and impose your mendicant ways on everyone else. I have no desire or requirement for the state to micromanage my life, so piss off.

  40. I think universal health care, improved permanent and national based funding for disabilities, and our funding system for university education (typical of the programs I have in mind as being good) have very little to do with “nanny statism:, ESB.

  41. Borisgodunov

    Politicians and union officials have to do something or look as though they are doing something. To justify their huge salaries ,pensions ,superannuation and general perks,thus you get all their crap ,spin and thought bubble laws.I suggest these “jobs” become part time voluntary positions,and the people. Involved have a Real Job to support themselves. The present “ruling class” have taken over the power once held by the aristocracy ,but the aristocracy had redeeming features and an inate sense of the right thing to do ,unlike these overpaid ,underqualified self seeking clowns with tiny uni degrees!

  42. Rococo Liberal

    Charles More in the Spectator several years ago pointed out much better his dog was treated by private enterprise vets, than he was in the NHS.

    Whereas he had to wait for months for an operation, his dog would be treated instantly and to a much higher standard.

    Governments have got to get out of healthcare all together

  43. Empire Strikes Back

    Sfb – why do you have so little faith in adults to arrange their own affairs? Why is it you believe only the state can fund, organise and regulate the services you cite? Why do you champion the growth of the parasite class?

  44. Mother G

    A brilliant spoof…and just the kind of stroke Julia would pull.

  45. Infidel Tiger

    Universal healthcare is great. It keeps scum in their shitty hospitals and allows a better class of people to get proper treatment in nice facilities without having to look at Steve from Brisbane types loitering in the hallways.

  46. Gab

    A brilliant spoof

    What, it’s not true? Oh. Seems right up gillard’s alley.

  47. James of the Glens

    Troll SOB surely agrees, after all he does his bidding for a few scraps thrown his way by GetUp (or is that SitUp?) and of course he belongs to the begging class aka mendicants.

    SJ’s game must hold great appeal as once more SOB leaps into water way beyond his depth and like all such kept types, requires periodic rescuing.
    Off you go, SOB, there’s a goood boy.

  48. dover_beach

    That is the problem with spoofs nowadays; is this really outside of the limits of the ‘reasonable’? No, it isn’t, sad to say.

  49. mct

    Just love your concept of food nationalisation, dot (8.05am).

    I especially like the inclusion of a fat tax which, one would assume, would raise very little indeed after the rest of the agenda had been running, say 6 months!

  50. Ant's Lab

    I’m all for this, so long as the system doesn’t discriminate against us on the basis of our breed, sexual preference, fur colour or any physical disabilities. That includes mongrels who really want to be bitches.

    Woof!

  51. Tom

    Why do you champion the growth of the parasite class?

    You expect him to stand up for something he’s not? Why don’t you ask him how much per fortnight he’s scamming in government payments as a welfare cheat?

  52. Nuke Gray

    ‘The Marmalade files’ is a book already published, and in it a leader of the Greens has a revelation- equal treatment for animals! the idea is already out there! And why shouldn’t any animal be allowed to sit at the front of the bus, if they want?

  53. BM

    Who are you calling extremists and ideologically driven SfB? If denouncing fascist statism, that you so admire, makes me an extremist then it’s a badge I’ll wear with pride. He who desires government coercion over liberty and self-determination should not claim to know what sensible people believe.

    As for lack of vision, you seem fairly incapable of seeing, let alone comprehending, the inevitable unintended consequences of socialist government. Maybe you should get a dog.

  54. BM

    Serious question – are guide dogs covered by DisabilityScare or are blind people the wrong kind of disabled? SfB, maybe you could duck out of John McTernan’s office and ask a colleague?

    Of course, I realise it’s naive wanting actual detail about DisabilityScare…

  55. If denouncing fascist statism, that you so admire, makes me an extremist

    BM, yes: if you think our Medicare system and the NDIS are examples of “fascist statism”, you are an extremist and your political views are a joke.

    One reason I do come here is to provide the social service of telling extremists that they are extreme in their political views; because many seem not to notice.

  56. BM

    SfB, where did I say Medicare or NDIS are fascist? You labelled people in favour of small government and liberty as “extremists”. If you consider that extreme, that implies you favour fascism where all is directed by government and the individual is subordinate to the State.

    Given your reputation for lying I shouldn’t be surprised that you’d misrepresent my words. Or maybe you’re just too dumb to understand them.

  57. Pete of Perth

    Put a cork in it sFb.
    This announcement has been a community service.

  58. Jazza

    Stop giving the clueless thugs in government new tax ideas!

  59. Andrew

    Like Jazza said, stop! Don’t you think the World Biggest Carbon Tax started as some kind of pisstake too? “Imagine taxing carbon fuel!” Next thing you know… You don’t think the Medicare Levy was a parody? “You know how you have health insurance you pay for? Well now you can pay for everyone else’s too!”

  60. Nuke Gray

    I feel I must correct Candy on one point- she must have meant Dalmatians instead of Labradors. After all, Dalmatians help firefighters put out fires. Whilst Labradors look cute, they’re too soft for real dog work! (And you can do your own psych testing with Dalmatians’ fur patterns- monocolour labbies are bland!)

  61. Huckleberry Chunkwot

    Sfb – why do you have so little faith in adults to arrange their own affairs? Why is it you believe only the state can fund, organise and regulate the services you cite? Why do you champion the growth of the parasite class

    Why? Why? Because he is a dumb cnut. That’s why.
    It all makes sense now.
    SfB is actually Woine Swansteen.
    Woine is an acknowledged dumb cnut and is so poor at his job that it is obvious that he spends far too much time doing other things (such as loitering on libertarian websites).
    He is also an economic illiterate.
    The similarities are too many to be coincidence.
    Woine, fuck off and fix your budget, there’s a good boy.

  62. Carpe Jugulum (don't call me sven)

    Whilst Labradors look cute, they’re too soft for real dog work!

    They are good for duck hunting.

  63. Gab

    Any chance we could not make this thread about SFB? I know he makes every thread about himself but we don’t have to indulge in his narcissistic ways, do we? Leave that for the open forum?

  64. candy

    “Whilst Labradors look cute, they’re too soft for real dog work! ”

    Nuke, I don’t know about this dog ‘work’ business, they’re for cuddling and playing with!

  65. Maybe it’s the force of my arguments that makes everyone feel they must respond, Gab?

  66. Infidel Tiger

    Maybe it’s the force of my arguments that makes everyone feel they must respond, Gab?

    No. Catallaxy is nothing if not a learning environment and through sheer force of will we set you on the right path.

  67. By the way: the amount of effort that Catallaxy has put into deriding not just a Labor policy, but one agreed to by Federal and State levels of the Coalition, and largely based on the Productivity Commission report, just indicates the extent to which this is clearly not a centre right blog, as m0nty and I like to remind you everyone now and then.

  68. Bit of fail, there, IT. If anything, the blog makes the Left look more and more attractive as I watch the nonsensical tilt of the Right in Australia at the moment.

  69. Infidel Tiger

    The LNP are centre left parties Steve and they don’t or shouldn’t have many friends here.

    FFS. How often must we repeat day 1 at school?

  70. BM

    Sorry Gab, I realise I’m wasting my time debating with Steve the fascist liar. It won’t happen again.

  71. candy

    Tony Abbott’s party has moved to the centre and the ALP are quite left these days, that’s why Simon Crean, Chris Bowen etc are fed up with them.

  72. JC

    Stepford

    Go get a fucking job. Make a wife out of your husband.

  73. .

    Steve is writing pretty copy now, his instructions from Sussex St must be clearer.

    However, he continues to lie.

    Libertarians don’t oppose Governments existing, we oppose waste, graft, bludging and coercion that destroys prosperity.

    Medicare is poorly designed and the NDIS will be a scam for the APS unions. NEither effectively help the poor and they are a burden on the middle class.

    Taxes? Of course they should go down.

    A new home in NW Sydney is taxed at over 80% and petrol is taxed at around 37.5%.

    This is after we’ve already paid income tax.

    Anyone who thinks taxes shouldn’t go down is an unproductive bludger.

  74. Mantaray

    I’ve talked the new Veticare system over with my Mrs and our lady-BC (she’s no bitch I tell’s ya!).

    The upshot of it is that Rubes would prefer we pay a little extra so’s she can have her own Vet next time she’s in the Obstetrics Ward. And, God Forbid (please see “Dog” backwards), should Rubes ever need some sort of surgery she does not want to be put in a two-year queue (“Queue” = “Tail” in French) with the lesser breeds.

    Will the government be giving us a 30% subsidy if we go private, Mr J?

  75. Splatacrobat

    Will Vetcare cover cosmetic surgery like prosthetic testis? Nothing weirder than looking at a Pit Bull from the back end with a nut sack the size of a trouser coin pocket.

  76. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    It’s pet aged-care that concerns me. They cost a motza as they age, just like us. Will there be adequate services? Respite care when they are incontinent? Fully credentialed and trained pillow-smoothers at the end? Plus doesn’t owner’s grief count? I could still do with help in the pet-food aisle of the supermarket when I think of my dear departed 18 year-old moggie; some days I can hardly make it out of there, and it’s been a year yesterday.

    The whole thing had better be community rated and any pet not in it by their species equivalent of age thirty is going to have to pay more.

    But it seems so unfair. Why should goldfish pay as much as pit bulls? And where do Siamese Fighting Fish fit in? How do we asses ‘the community’.

    Quick. Hire a lot of bureaucrats now to tell us.

  77. Samuel J

    Noodle adds the following:

    We also need a non means tested Petcare rebate, so that people can be subsidised to put their cats and dogs in kennels when they go away on holidays.

    Also, government subsidised obedience lessons for all cats and dogs.

    And when dogs and cats get too old, they need to go into a fully taxpayer funded aged care facility.

    I also propose:
    1. The First Doghouse Owner’s Rebate
    2. Puppy Bonus – $5000 for each puppy or kitten
    3. PetDentiCare – free dental care for your pets

  78. mct

    What of Da Hairy Ape, Lizzie?

    Surely, also elegible?

  79. mct

    put their cats and dogs in kennels

    Won’t somebody think of the bunnies???

    And hamsters. And ferrets. And mice, snakes, rats and frogs?

  80. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    Oh – and I had to resist the homeopathic vet, and the osteopathic and chiropractic ones too. Some swear by them though.

    Where does the mind/body equation come into all of this? Precious little pets have needs and feelings too. My friend living in LA 90210 postcode still has little Terrence Poodle in expensive psychiatric care for his yelping ways and emotional hurts. Knowing he’s OK helps so much during her stays at the Betty Ford Clinic.

  81. Pickles

    Some pets have substantial assets. They ought have some sort of testamentary disposition regime and to administer such, a Pet Probate Division of the Supreme Court with Judges and nubile associates to dish out the shcmackos at mediation. If any of the pet testators residue fails to vest, it becomes property of the Crown.

  82. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    What of Da Hairy Ape, Lizzie?

    Surely, also elegible?

    Indeed. And what a bargain it would be, in weight, size and age terms as against say a domestic male rat or even a masculine guinea-pig, as kept by other long-suffering ladies.

    Plus I could afford a trainer instead of having to do it all myself. Someone to feed him too. And drag him off to bed on Irish singing nights.

    Bliss. I am really warming to this idea.

  83. mct

    You have encouraged SWMBO by reference, Lizzie.

    This can only end badly…

  84. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    I am always encouraging things that I am unaware of, mct. One of my failings.

    What is SWMBO?

  85. Tintarella di Luna

    Steve Who Must be Obtuse?

  86. .

    1. The First Doghouse Owner’s Rebate

    No. We can’t subsidise Craig Thomson.

  87. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    lol Tinta, that’s a good one, and I am often in trouble for over-encouragement there.

    On reflection, though, I think it is She Who Must Be Obeyed, Rumpole style.

    And a very good thing too. There are times when men should quake and quiver before our withering gaze.

  88. DrBeauGan

    I have cockroaches living under my fridge. Why should they be excluded?

  89. Sinclair Davidson

    Why doesn’t Noodle get DFAT to look after her animals when she’s off overseas. They do that, don’t they?

  90. Ellen of Tasmania

    And when dogs and cats get too old, they need to go into a fully taxpayer funded aged care facility.

    Nah. People like to send their parents of to such places, but not their pooches.

  91. Giffy

    Isn’t that true, Ellen of Tasmania. The baby boomers aren’t slow in sending their parents to the institutional life, but they don’t want that end for themselves.

  92. Squawkbox

    What’s happened to Spot? We need his view on this.

  93. Turtle of WA

    I think…

    Sure Steve?

  94. mct

    There are times when men should quake and quiver before our withering gaze.

    We generically refer to these times as “now”, as I understand it.

    Other times can usefully be described as “soon” or “later”.

  95. Pingback: More arguments for Veticare at Catallaxy Files

  96. Jim Rose

    see http://www.medibank.com.au/pet-insurance/ for 32c a day for dogs:

    Choose your pet’s own vet or specialist and get up to 80% cover for their bills, with generous annual limits from $8,000 up to $15,000 depending on the level of cover. And, if you’re a Medibank member you get a 10% discount.

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