What do you call a list like this? A good start.

I got sent a Facebook page with this terrifying news:

What Hockey didn’t tell us …Fine print of last minute costings announced with no debate – does Abbott have a mandate for these?

INCOME REDISTRIBUTION (away from poor):
• Lower the tax-free threshold from $18,200 back to $6000.
• Abolish the low-income superannuation contribution.
• Abolish the means test on the Private Health Care Rebate
• Scrap baby bonus and relax childcare staffing ratios to fund $75,000 paid leave for mothers earning $150,000
• Allow people to opt out of superannuation in exchange for promising to forgo any government income support in retirement

SUPPORT FOR BIG BUSINESS
• Repeal the mining tax
• Abolish the Australian Consumer & Competition Commission
• Abolish the Foreign Investment Review Board (FIRB)
• Remove anti-dumping laws

EDUCATION
• Abolish the means-tested school kids bonus which benefits 1.3 million families by up to $410 per primary child & $820 per high school child.
• Abandon the bulk of the school funding reforms
• Reintroduce voluntary student unionism at universities
• Remove academic freedom through political control of research grants

JOBS, WORKPLACE RELATIONS
• Repeal Fair Work Act, restore individual agreements
• Cut at least 50,000 public service jobs
• End preferences for Industry Super Funds in workplace relations laws
• Cease subsidising the car industry.

ENVIRONMENT
• Abolish the Clean Energy Fund
• Abolish the Department Of Climate Change
• Repeal the renewable energy target and withdraw from kyoto ppotocol
• Repeal the marine park legislation
• Encourage the construction of dams

FREE SPEECH, CITIZENSHIP
• End mandatory disclosures on political donations
• End public funding support for political parties (allowing rich an advertising monopoly
• Abolish media bias regulations
• Introduce voluntary voting

MEDIA, PUBLISHING
• Halt and privatise the National Broadband Network
• Abolish the Australian Communications And Media Authority
• Break up the ABC and put out to tender each individual function.
• Abolish TV spectrum licensing
• Abolish local content requirements
• Deregulate the parallel importation of books, thus damaging our local authors and publishers.

PUBLIC INTEREST
• End all public subsidies to sport and the arts
• Repeal section 18C of the Racial Discrimination Act
• End all government funded public interest (‘Nanny state’) advertising

PRIVATIZATION, DEREGULATION
• Privatise the CSIRO
• Privatise the Australian Institute of Sport.
• Privatise Medibank.
• Privatise the Snowy-Hydro Scheme
• Privatise Australia Post
• Privatise SBS.
• Formalise a one-in, one-out approach to regulatory reduction.

PUBLIC HEALTH
• Eliminate the National Preventative Health Agency
• Repeal the Alcopops tax.
• Repeal plain cigarette packaging, rule it out on alcohol, fast foods etc
• Reject proposals for compulsory food and alcohol labeling

Wow. How cool would that be? Anyway, alas, it’s not true. But that page has been shared 4419 times – click on the shares and read the comments, they are great for a laugh.

The author of that page is an academic at a G8 university.

(HT: HG)

This entry was posted in 2013 election. Bookmark the permalink.

77 Responses to What do you call a list like this? A good start.

  1. Infidel Tiger

    If only. I’d be tumescent for months.

  2. JC

    She stole my wishlist. Quick, how do I call her out for plagiarism 🙂

    As I guessed to an “Arts Academic”

  3. Gab

    What Hockey didn’t tell us …Fine print of last minute costings announced with no debate – does Abbott have a mandate for these?

    Absolutely. He told us all about it, heck even the unions warned us about it, Rudd told us about it with his cutscutscuts mantra and yet we still voted for an Abbott government. So I say hell yes! to the cuts cuts cuts.

  4. Leo G

    The ASB cites Anne Junor’s early work on constructing chamber pots (postructuring) for Marxist science:

    Junor, A., Hartwig, M. and Sharp, R, (1991) Marxism, science and postructuralism, paper presented to Socialist Scholars’ Conference, UTS, Sydney

    Her life’s work apparently.

  5. Dan

    It’s pretty much copied from the IPA list

    Bring it on

  6. Oliver of Perth

    As you say a good start.
    Shame it is fiction.

  7. Kaboom

    A beautiful set of numbers!

    As far as policy goes, it looks like a slam-dunk winner. Trouble is, with an intransigent Senate for the next 9 months, I’m sure that the September 7 conception will give birth to a whole new world on 1st July 2014.

    We can but hope…

  8. H B Bear

    Where would these people go without academia?

  9. Rabz

    Bugger Dan, beat me to it.

    Someone’s been reading this, it seems…

  10. Louis Hissink

    More lefty fabrications – makes me wonder what history hasn’t been “embellished” by the leftist editing process.

  11. Empire Strikes Back

    The IPA list was published months ago. Get cracking I say.

  12. Oh come on

    The Prime Minister’s going to reveal that his actual name is ToKKKy AKKKoKKK

    Health
    -The coalition will scrap public healthcare, and instead make it illegal for poor people to get sick
    -Campbell Newman has become addicted to cuts, so his mate ToKKKy will ban scalpel use in Australia; Campbell has the only exemption. Cuts cuts cuts to the bone! And deeper!

    Education
    – all public funding of schools and universities will be stopped. And ToKKKy is going to go on wild rampages after In The Night Garden’s finished (on ABC2*) madly gouging out the eyes of cute little children enjoying picture books before bedtime. He is an enemy of literacy! And evil of evils – Humanities graduates will be forced to pay off their HECS debts in manageable installments!

    *the ABC broadcasting infrastructure and budget is to be reallocated to $t0rmfr0nt for their propaganda purposes. ToKKKy is going to be their newsanchor. The late night slot. After the eye gouging.

  13. nic

    Judging by what they are complaining about, I think we know which burrow/nest we will be led to. The hide of that lot talking about a Government that will reduce freedom of the press. I hope the Libs go to town.

  14. Andrew

    Can you PROVE that this is false? After all, before thousands of Cats report her to the uni for bringing the game into disrepute through fraud, slander and (quelle horreur) BIAS we want to be 100% sure.

  15. nic

    Repeal plain cigarette packaging, rule it out on alcohol, fast foods etc

    Plain packaging for fast food? Tell me they are having a laugh?

  16. james

    She missed the part where racist police break the fingers of aboriginal children while laughing.

  17. Oh come on

    That’s right. And when they have done breaking all the fingers of those little kiddies, they will film a blackface routine and upload it to Youtube, which will cause enormous outrage, offense and distress throughout the academic community!

  18. Sinc, halfway through the list I had to wipe a single manly tear of joy from my cheek and then you hit us with the lowest of blows that it is a fantasy….

  19. Oh come on

    Also, Gina discount fuel vouchers FIFO McMansion Crass Urban Sprawl FIFO $2 milk.

  20. Badjack

    This academic is in for a shock.
    If Shorten wins the next election as he told us he would today at his presser he will do exactly the same thing as Abbott and make all these same cuts. He was educated by those same monsters who indoctrinated Abbott (commonly known as Jesuits)

  21. Armadillo

    which will cause enormous outrage, offense and distress throughout the academic community!

    I suspect this list may in fact be true. Exhibit A – Tony Abbott’s acceptance speech.

  22. james

    As a Catlick myself i would really enjoy seeing Shorten cop some of the same crap that the left gave out tomoz Abbott. I know they will be doing so behind closed doors, they have never forgiven us for splitting with them over their love of Stalin.

  23. John Mc

    You had me thinking this day couldn’t get any better for a while there.

  24. Big Dag

    If this is what he can accomplish in his first term, imagine how good the second will be.

  25. Ronaldo

    It’s pretty much copied from the IPA list

    If Shorten wins the next election as he told us he would today at his presser he will do exactly the same thing as Abbott…

    It could be better than that. Shorten and the IPA’s John Roskam are, or at least were, very good friends, with one of them being the best man at the other’s wedding. Perhaps there is a better chance of getting these cuts through with Shorten than with Abbott!

  26. incoherent rambler

    • Abolish the Australian Communications And Media Authority

    A millstone around the neck of anyone who imports electronics.

  27. Cato the Elder

    PhD in Sociology, Macquarie University
    Bachelor of Economics, University of New England
    Diploma of Education, University of Sydney
    Bachelor of Arts (Hons 1) University of Sydney
    Associate Professor; Deputy Director, Industrial Relations Research Centre

    ‘Nuff said

  28. Kaboom

    Ronaldo @ 7:44 – that’s gold intel…

    Please divulge more!

  29. egg_

    • Break up the ABC and put out to tender each individual function.

    Circulate that one around Aunty. 😉
    She’s already a Corporation.
    The bulk of her technical staff from playout centre to transmission network have been outsourced, time to carve up the ‘talent’ hehe.

  30. Motelier

    I had a good stroll around her Facebook. She certainly was busy doing research on the 9th. I would have thought she had lesson to prep and lectures to give.

    Oh that is right, new learning, on-line.

  31. Ronaldo

    Sorry Kaboom, that is all that I know – John Roskam mentioned it to me when I met him some years ago, around the time when Shorten was featuring in the news over the Beaconsfield mine disaster.

  32. C.L.

    Well, Newman is resuming yellowcake mining next year.

    Not bad.

  33. Infidel Tiger

    Abbott has responded to the list. He says: “umm, aah, well, we want, aah, to be, umm, you see, a government, aaah, ummm of no surprises. So we, ummm, are, going to stick, aaah, with our, umm, socialist agenda.”

  34. Hristos

    I quite like the 18K taxfree threshold. Isn’t this good supply side economics? Ok, it should be extended to zero tax for everyone, but its a start.

  35. I can feel a blogpost coming on about this list. Some of these things I would keep in some form; others would be cut to the bone and still more should never have existed in the first place and would be wiped from the face of the landscape.

  36. Johno

    You have to hand it to her. She has got our hit list pretty much spot on. She knows her enemy well.

  37. blind freddy

    In my days in academia ,this presentation , would be considered plagiarism– your thoughts Sinc!

  38. Glen Coco

    Love the new header pic …. Well done Sinc

  39. irving J

    Junor, A., O’Brien, J. and O’Donnell, M. (2009) ‘Welfare wars: Public service frontline absenteeism as resistance’, Qualitative Research in Accounting and Management, 6(1-2): 26-40

    Has the entire left been infected by some sort of brain eating amoeba ?

  40. Has the entire left been infected by some sort of brain eating amoeba ?

    Yes, long since.

  41. Fred Lenin

    I am puzzled? What is wrong with this list? Sheer commonsense to eliminate useless spending when you are in a lot of debt. “I may owe 500,000 but thats ok ! The Greek guy next door owes 3,000,000 ! The stupid alp excuse for being useless!

  42. tbh

    Looks great to me. Pity we won’t see even half of it.

  43. He will also rape immigrant housewives and force humanities academics to eat their own excrement in public.

    He will come into your house at night and steal your baby.

    He will poison the wells.

    He caused your cow to develop rickets and fall over.

    Those puncture marks on your neck are not mosquito bites.

    Only a Labor government, headed by the brave and charismatic Bill Shorten, can save us from decimation and public execution by the crazed Abbott.

    PS Joe Hockey will eat all the fast food in Australia, so that the poor will starve.

    [You know, that takes me right back to the dying days of the Gillard government, that does. Brings a tear to the eye. Happy times, happy times …]

  44. Well, Newman is resuming yellowcake mining next year.

    Not bad.

    Joe Hockey will eat all the yellowcake too. And the pink cake. And the white cake with the icing with little silver balls stuck in it.

    Fascist bastard.

  45. wreckage

    This is too good to be true… dammit. Buggerit, dammit, damnbuggerit, buggerdammit, shit.

  46. JohnA

    “Education
    – all public funding of schools and universities will be stopped.”

    Thank you CH Dodson:

    “And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
    Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
    O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’
    He chortled in his joy.

  47. Thank you CH Dodson:

    C.L.—Charles Lutwidge, whence Lewis Carroll—pronounced “Dodson” but spelled “Dodgson”.

  48. .

    This woman purports to have a degree in economics.

    If she had any honour she’d hand it back.

  49. crocodile

    • Abolish the means test on the Private Health Care Rebate

    Get rid of the rebate entirely

  50. wreckage

    No need for a rebate once Medicare is gone.

  51. DMS

    I got a tingle up my leg reading that list.
    Loos good to me.

  52. He will also rape immigrant housewives and force humanities academics to eat their own excrement in public.

    Reminds me of the part of the Bible where an Israelite city is under siege and the Israelite mission to the invaders tells them to use a language that the hoi polloi don’t understand when doing the bargaining.

    The reply: “Did you think I was only talking to you? No, I’m also talking to the ones up there on the wall, who will have to eat their excrement and drink their urine, just as you will.” (The KJV is more blunt and renders it as “eat their dung and drink their piss with you”).

  53. James

    Removing anti-dumping laws is not support for big business. It’s well known big business, together with unions, have been lobbying for tougher anti-dumping laws, which will entrench the current players and cut out new competition.

    I wonder who made this list? Yep, a union official.

  54. Oh come on

    Yes, dumping (if it indeed exists) is so terrible. Chinese taxpayers subsidising Australian consumers. We’re getting screwed!

  55. JohnA

    Thanks Deadman, I was doing that part from memory.

    Clearly my memory cells at that point had taken a walk…

  56. crocodile

    No need for a rebate once Medicare is gone.

    There never was a need for it

  57. Fibro

    The perils of having a right side of the brain managed by the left

  58. Rabz

    I’ve reread the list and there are so many things identified that are just plain common sense. Having said that, I don’t agree with everything there – I’d shut down both the ALPBC and SBS, for example.

    It’s a testimony to how reactionary and brain damaged the left have become that they would consider such a list an abomination.

  59. Leo G

    Reminds me of the part of the Bible where an Israelite city is under siege and the Israelite mission to the invaders tells them to use a language that the hoi polloi don’t understand when doing the bargaining.

    Not a city of Israel, but Jerusalem the capital city of Judah. Rab-shakeh (a tony chap) was Sennacherib’s envoy.

  60. Rabz

    Rab-shakeh

    That’s a very cool name.

  61. Up The Workers!

    I see that the A.L.P. are looking at a “dream team” leadership pairing of Alwaysleazy Albanese from the Marrickville “Rub-And-Tug” brothel, and noted convicted heroin-dealers’ wife, Mrs Coutts-Trotter as A.L.P. Leader and Deputy Leader, respectively.

    THAT will get the Liberals quaking in their boots.

    In one fell swoop, the A.L.P. will have tied up all of the prostitutes, brothel-crawlers, heroin-dealers and drug addicts votes!

    How could the Liberals not have seen such a massive election-winning coup coming?

    On the other hand, there is Short Willy, who could possibly mobilise the votes of all his former wives and female staffers he has been so faithful to (for about 5 minutes each).

  62. Supplice

    Er, wasn’t it Gillard who scrapped the baby bonus in the budget?

  63. sam w

    I,d be happy with just……..’ force humanities academics to eat their own excrement in public.’

  64. That’s a very cool name

    Rabshakeh was an Akkadian name (or misunderstood title) which probably meant “chief cupbearer”.

  65. Leo G

    Rab-shakeh …That’s a very cool name.

    Rabs was a brave fellow with an insolent spirit but, unlike Rabz, a certain disdain for the facts.

  66. Popular Front

    pronounced “Dodson” but spelled “Dodgson

    Like Featherstone-Haugh is pronounced ‘Fanshawe’. Or even, it is spelt Raymond Luxury-Yacht but is pronounced ‘Throatwobbler-Mangrove’.

  67. Rabz

    Rabshakeh was an Akkadian name (or misunderstood title) which probably meant “chief cupbearer”.

    Peoples, I take it all back!

  68. Thanks for clearing that up, Leo G. 🙂

  69. Chez

    To blogger “Up the Workers! ” I couldn’t have said it better myself! You are a legend!

  70. cuckoo

    She missed the part where racist police break the fingers of aboriginal children while laughing.

    And don’t forget the racist stubby-holders. Abbott will make a point of being seen drinking gatorade out of a stubby holder with a picture of a newt on it. And as everyone knows, ‘newts’ (‘Um’falabwe’) is a derogatory racist nickname for the Dashinka people of upper Ngobwe, of whom there are at least one or two in Western Sydney.

  71. Fibro

    Change voting to optional and all this would happen anyway.

  72. .

    Yes, but no one can complain and blame minor parties. Their baseless assertions are then exposed.

  73. Andrew of Randwick

    Encourage the construction of dams
    That is outrageous! Such folly will threaten the unique and diverse ecosystems found in the various creeks and rivers found along the Eastern seaboard.
    .
    Far better to build desalination plants that require continuous power consumption 24×7 and feed them with hundreds of wind turbines and of course the obligatory coal fired back-up power station running 365 days in idle mode just in case the sun does not shine.
    = And then pay the marine biologist to test for the effects of high salinity effluent discharge
    = And then pay zoologists to measure bird species population trends around the turbines
    = And then pay sound engineers to measure inaudible vibrations on a geospatial grid
    = And then pay sociologists to measure the impact on coastal communities of the influx of people wearing fluoro work vests
    = And then pay….
    .
    No, no, no. That alternative would be much better than pushing some dirt into a valley and putting a non-PPP funded low cost barb-wired fence around the shore line periphery with some signs saying shooting over this land is prohibited.

  74. Crane

    Albo will improve Labor’s standing among small businesses, especially Thai investment in the entertainment and hospitality industry.

  75. Mother Hubbard's Dog

    Abolish the Department Of Climate Change

    What Department of Climate Change?

    Does she mean The Department of Industry, Innovation, Climate Change, Science, Research and Tertiary Education?

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