The hardest quiz I ever saw

The Guardian has set up a quiz based on a comparison of statements made, either by Patrick Bateman, the eponymous hero of American Psycho, and the other none other than our former Labor foreign minister, Bob Carr. As The Guardian explains:

One is Australia’s former foreign minister, the other a fictional investment banker and serial killer. But both share an obsessive attention to detail about diet, exercise and lifestyle. Can you tell who said what?

Here, as an example, is the first question in the quiz:

1. “I take a bran muffin, a decaffeinated herbal tea bag and a box of oat-bran cereal. A bowl of oat-bran cereal with wheatgerm and soy milk follows; another bottle of Evian water and a small cup of decaf tea after that.”

Bob            ο

Patrick      ο

You can do the rest of the test at the Guardian website online: Quotation quiz: Bob Carr or American Psycho’s Patrick Bateman – who said what?. But Bob, if even The Guardian think you are a buffoon even with the Labor brand name, you are in some kind of new territory you have carved out for yourself.

[My thanks to JIK for sending it along.]

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79 Responses to The hardest quiz I ever saw

  1. I am the Walrus, koo koo k'choo

    Yes. Brilliant.

    Carr is beyond parody.

  2. Rabz

    I completed the quiz this morning and got 18/23, which was dismissed as a ‘flabby result’.

    A hint to those considering completing the quiz, keep an eye out for various product references. They are the only give away in some cases.

  3. A Lurker

    15/23

    Is there a list of who actually said what?

  4. Combine_Dave

    Only received 15, pity.

  5. 17/23, which is a flabby result, but I’m a flabby kind of person. I’ve never aspired to have a concave stomach with knife-edge obliques. Nor to be particularly bronzed, either.

  6. H B Bear

    Used Carr would be dismissed as a work of fiction. Unfortunately for us he isn’t.

    His wife is Asian don’t you know?

  7. Rabz

    a concave stomach with knife-edge obliques

    Look bloody awful on women.

  8. Rabz

    His “wife” is Asian don’t you know?

    Fixed.

  9. Empire Strikes Back

    19/23 and I confess to having read American Psycho more than once.

    There’s something very wrong with that Carr fella.

  10. RodClarke

    A Lurker

    Is there a list of who actually said what?

    When you click thru to your result there is a link to show the correct answers -

  11. james

    Bob Carr is an. . . . . Interesting man.

  12. A Lurker

    When you click thru to your result there is a link to show the correct answers

    Thanks, I’ll redo the test and follow that link.

  13. H B Bear

    Australia’s most politically astute geriatric care provider, La Tingle, is back from holidays. Fortunately this hasn’t dulled her finely tuned antennae,

    Carr’s Diary of a Foreign Minister is a book covering a lot more of substance – like musing on how Australia handles the rise of China – as well as glimpses into the workings of a flailing, failing government by someone whose late arrival gave him a curious detachment from its fortunes.

    But at both the level of serious policy discussion and self-parody, Carr’s book is saying things far removed from what our carefully scripted politicians normally say.

    What a luxury it must have been for Used Carr, parachuted into the Senate without the inconvenience of subjecting yourself to the electorate, sitting in Cabinet as Foreign Minister of a failing government and yet somehow with a curious detachment from its fortunes .

    Somehow I expect Used isn’t the only clown in the Gillard circus who is going to seek to distance themselves from that wretched collection of misfits and incompetents. I expect that by the time Used’s Diary is joined by the other works of Labor fiction you will have trouble finding anyone who will even admit to being in Canberra at all between 2007 and 2013. They will truly have become the Dark Ages.

  14. Kaboom

    18/23 for me. A “flabby” result, I am informed…

  15. Notafan

    17 and very tricky, must read American Psycho one day

  16. Habib

    Did it last night, got about 18/26. Some were quite difficult, as you can see how Bob’s dedication to manly development had paid off, he’s a veritable Antipodean Putin. I note The Guardian Failed to notice any of his apparent affections, foibles and obvious fuckwittery while in either of his failures in office.

  17. Des Deskperson

    ‘But at both the level of serious policy discussion and self-parody’

    ‘Self parody’ is how the ‘progressives’ are now going to bandage this up, Carr wit and irony flying over the heads of us clods. The trouble is that it’s all a bit too late and reactive to cut much ice.

    Anyway, I scored only 14 out of 23, and when I tried again I only got 13!! I take it as a badge of honour!!

  18. calli

    I only got 12 out of a possible 23. I put it down to a charitable disposition.

    I wouldn’t let Carr within a bull’s roar of me and mine. Creepy in the extreme.

  19. calli

    ‘Self parody’ is how the ‘progressives’ are now going to bandage this up

    Yes, Des. Carr was running this line hard this morning on 7. You could see that Koch and co desperately wanted to believe….until creepy uncle Bob started demonstrating how strong his ‘core’ and balance was. Quick! Commercial break!

  20. H B Bear

    I suspect the “wit, self-parody and irony” defense was work-shopped by Used and Bob Ellis sometime this week. Like everything emanating from that hopeless drunk, it is both feeble and unbelievable.

    Used’s contemporaneous Backstage Riders, that read like a cross between Maria Carey and Elton John during one of his princess phases, put paid to any spin that might be put on Used’s recent scribblings.

  21. Squirrel

    I wonder if BC think’s he’d look as good as Christian Bale in the chainsaw scene – no, let’s not go there……

  22. Senile Old Guy

    18/23 but I’ve read several pieces about Carr’s book, so had some advantage.

  23. cynical1

    13.

    Which means I have trouble separating Bob from Patrick.

    A bigger problem for him than me

  24. Nanuestalker

    ‘Self parody’ is how the ‘progressives’ are now going to bandage this up

    +1

  25. squawkbox

    13/23, but have never read American Psycho. Still, I think the test constitutes sufficient grounds for the police to search Carr’s fridge and dig up his garden.

  26. Rohan

    14/23. That quiz is gold.

  27. Rococo Liberal

    I had breakfast at the same Hobart hotel as Mr Carr a couple of weeks ago and he was eating the downmarket stuff on offer. Definitely not one of us.

  28. egg_

    parody, Carr’s book is saying things far removed from what our carefully scripted politicians normally say.

    The Mr Bean of Oz politics.

  29. Splatacrobat

    16/23
    70% correct is not too shabby considering I know a Kabuki actor when I seen one.

  30. sdfc

    How can anyone not be able to sleep in business class, just how big is he?

  31. Fat Tony

    I got 10 – and I actually tried to answer correctly.

    I think I have trouble telling psychos apart….

  32. Fleeced

    As I mentioned in the OT, I only scored 11 in this…. pretty shocking.

  33. calli

    11. That means at 12 I’m not the Cat dunce when it comes to creepy Uncle Bob.

    Be warned, young innocent, and do not accept sweets from desiccated old men.

  34. Fleeced

    At least 12/23 is still a pass grade!

    I still get a Certificate of Participation, right?

  35. Anne

    H B Bear
    #1261332, posted on April 11, 2014 at 4:14 pm
    His wife is Asian don’t you know?

    Of course she is. A western woman couldn’t go a day without slapping him up side the head!

  36. Oh come on

    Humpf. 17/23. Thought I was quite familiar with American Psycho.

    What is Normison? Wikipedia is my friend…

    Temazepam!? Carr’s on the benzos?? Hahahaha

    So we can add ‘junkie’ to vain wanker candyarse creampuff pseudo-intellectual poseur.

    I can’t believe he’d admit that.

  37. Oh come on

    Hey why is that in moderation?

  38. Oh come on

    Temazepam accounts for most benzodiazepine sought by forgery of prescriptions and through pharmacy burglary in Victoria.[52] Due to intravenous abuse, the Australian government decided to put it under a more restrictive schedule than it previously was,[53] and since March 2004 temazepam capsules have been withdrawn from the Australian market.[54][55]

    I wonder how Wrecked gets his stash?

  39. Leigh Lowe

    What really gave me the shits was, when Bobby got his rails-run into the Senate, the Press Gallery chooks all agreed that he had “gravitas”.
    What this means is that you say nothing of consequence very slowly and in a deep voice.

  40. Shelley

    Oh my goodness. My low result says more about used Carr than it does about me. He actually said those things??

  41. Shelley

    I have got to say I am pretty shocked. What an extremely odd man.

  42. Tel

    The hardest thing would be caring enough about who is eating the bran muffin.

  43. Fleeced

    Oh my goodness. My low result says more about used Carr than it does about me. He actually said those things??

    Did you get less than 11? Please say yes!

    I know what you mean though – I know the man is ridiculous, and I still gave him the benefit of the doubt most of the time.

  44. Oh come on

    You’d think after popping all that temazepam he’d be more chilled about everything.

  45. Shelley

    …I got 11. And I was giving him the benefit of the doubt too (despite having seen the movie, but some of the things I couldn’t recall, well I just thought that would have to be from the movie surely).

  46. calli

    You’d think after popping all that temazepam he’d be more chilled about everything.

    To think it was our Foreign Minister.

    Alexander can now be forgiven the stilettos and fishnets (at least he did it for charity fundraising).

  47. Shelley

    Also to me isn’t so much the fact that some of those things are unusual – there are plenty of people out there with quirks/oddities/things we don’t much agree with in others – it is the fact that a man like this held the positions he did for as long as he did.

  48. Oh come on

    From the book, Shelley, the book! Far more vivid than the movie.

  49. Oh come on

    Wrecked Carr outs himself as user of widely-abused antianxiety medication.

  50. Fleeced

    I saw the movie ages ago, but thought it was over-rated, to be honest… still, embarrassing to rate so poorly in the quiz given that I’d seen it – glad I have someone to share my pitiful score with though. Don’t worry – we still get a Certificate of Participation.

  51. Gab

    Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Definition, Symptoms and When To See Your Doctor.

  52. Shelley

    Makes you wonder what will be in the other ‘memoirs’ – Gillard, Conroy et al

  53. john of dandenong

    I think Carr must be a close relative of that pompous p***k Mike Carlton.

  54. H B Bear

    Makes you wonder what will be in the other ‘memoirs’ – Gillard, Conroy et al

    Well you know Gillard’s will be a pack of lies – just like her last exit interview. Conroy is still in the Senate as a support act for Sarah Hyphen-Seapatrol when she goes off Broadway.

  55. Oh come on

    To escape the ignominy of being forced into the grimy surrounds of Business Class, I gulped down a few of my little friends, grimacing as the ghastly non-vintage Bollinger ravaged my finely-honed palate. I had previously decried the utterly inadequate wine list to the hideous crone serving me, and even suggested suitable alternatives. She claimed she’d never heard of Krug. She lies in her red suit! After departing hospital the next day (Comm car: Caprice, not Statesman), I meditated. Should I be thankful for that awful Bollinger woman’s peasant-like common sense? I was told when I awoke from the coma that it was that she who organised for an ambulance to collect me when we touched down in Sydney. I shall ponder the matter further while I’m performing my buttock curls at the gym later.

  56. Up The Workers!

    Is it too late to issue an “Urgent Recall Notice” on that dangerous used Foreign Carr, and put it through the crusher before it does and MORE damage?

  57. Old School Conservative

    17.
    Multiple guess technique is working well. But not happy with the “flabby” result. Must ask yesterday’s weight-loss Cat poster for advice.

  58. Papachango

    20/23 WOOHOO!’

    I read American Psycho a few times in my youth and have followed the stories about Carr with great interest. The references to Perrier, arugula and Huey Lewis were soooo 80s they gave the game away a little bit too.

  59. Galeoturpis

    11/23 that’s about even probability with toss of a coin. I obviously don’t know Carr at all. Thank god he’s out of the scene. Narcissistic and egocentric. I’m actually surprised we haven’t seen more budgie smuggler shots of him with his regime. He’d probably put it down to class but much more likely he is just used to keeping secrets!

  60. Rabz

    I’m actually surprised we haven’t seen more budgie smuggler shots of him with his regime.

    FFS, I’m not – he’s been cursed with one of the most monstrous visages in human history.

    He makes Jenny Macklin look like next year’s Miss Universe.

    :x

  61. Andrew

    Honestly, I answered every question “Bob” as I thought every one of those quotes was by him and that it was a trick quiz given the similarity.

  62. Paul

    Lets all bag Carr, so the big issue he raises about the interference in Australian Government processes by a foreign power, and those who work for it, goes away.

  63. Bill Shut

    But who will play Bob in “Bob” the movie? I nominate this fellow

  64. Carpe Jugulum

    They should get spongebob squarepants , same iq anyways .

  65. Tintarella di Luna

    FFS, I’m not – he’s been cursed with one of the most monstrous visages in human history.

    He makes Jenny Macklin look like next year’s Miss Universe.

    Winner!

  66. Boambee John

    “‘Self parody’ is how the ‘progressives’ are now going to bandage this up, Carr wit and irony flying over the heads of us clods. The trouble is that it’s all a bit too late and reactive to cut much ice.”

    If only the head of Singapore Airlines had appreciated that Bob’s message was pure irony and self-parody, and that no response was required!

  67. rickw

    16/23

    I think Labor / Greens does Australia a favour, mopping up the latent Bates’s and channeling their energy into something less detrimental to society, although maybe not in the case of K Rudd given the pink batts death toll.

  68. The Consigliere

    14. I beat the average but must up my whey intake.

  69. stackja

    Australian Broadcasting Corporation
    TV PROGRAM TRANSCRIPT
    LOCATION: http://www.abc.net.au/lateline/content/2005/s1424031.htm
    Broadcast: 27/07/2005
    NSW Premier Bob Carr retires
    JOHN BROGDEN, NSW OPPOSITION LEADER: No stamp duty for Bob’s farm in New Zealand, hey? You were happy to take off to New Zealand and buy your farm, weren’t you? Happy to leave the state for your investment property, but happy to slug the investors of NSW.
    http://www.abc.net.au/lateline/content/2005/s1424031.htm

  70. DodgyBob

    Mine was a “Flabby effort – time to up your whey intake” 17/23

  71. Fat Tony

    Did my score of 10 win?

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