Memo from Principal Hockey

MEMO

To: All class members, G20

From: Principal J.B. Hockey

Subject: Failure to complete homework

It has come to my attention that many students of the G20 class have failed to submit an adequate draft of the homework assigned to them earlier in the year.

Can I remind you that the directions were quite specific: come up with a plan to achieve economic growth of 2 per cent with NEW policy initiatives (Jeeves, shut up, I realise that 2 per cent equates to divergent per capita growth rates, but given the IQ of the class, such complexities simply couldn’t be considered).

If you are still hoping to attend the end of year trip to Brisbane, students will have to submit an adequate plan.  In the case of most students, this will require a noticeable uplift in effort to flesh out the imaginary details of structural reforms, stable macroeconomic settings, removing trade barriers, etc, etc. (you see, I have done half the work for you).

In order to impose more rigour on the process, I  have taken the step of engaging two outside agencies (you may have heard of them – the IMF and the OECD) to assess the quality of your assignments and to track the implementation.  Don’t forget that there is a practical component in this subject, not just theory.

I repeat – I am very disappointed in your progress thus far (with some exceptions- Redmond you are doing very well); I expected much better of such an elite group.

I am at my wit’s end as to how to deal with your tardiness – nay negligence – save to warn you that international shame will be your punishment if your efforts do not improve.

(By the way, Ruth – you may not be coming in any case.)

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9 Responses to Memo from Principal Hockey

  1. 2dogs

    Who is “Redmond” and “Ruth”?

  2. incoherent rambler

    JOE HOCKEY: Well, if there is waste, we will cut it.

    Was he referring to the human waste at the ABC?

  3. Andrew

    I think they’re all distracted by their metalwork teacher’s major assignment – to build working prototype windmills. It’s taking them away from their other classes way too much.

  4. ar

    (Jeeves, shut up, I realise that 2 per cent equates to divergent per capita growth rates, but given the IQ of the class, such complexities simply couldn’t be considered).

    Jeeves will grow up to be a limo driver anyway…

  5. candy

    Joe Hockey does use overblown language sometimes, and I think Ms Sloan is having an affectionate dig at his recent comments about his expectations of other G20 treasurers?

    Considering his first budget is still going through the hoops – perhaps a little more modesty?

  6. H B Bear

    The Magic Negro seems to have been stuck on the same problem for six years.

  7. Judith Sloan

    Redmond=China; Ruth=Russia

  8. .

    We ought to have a treaty to abolish income tax as we have had for trade barriers, nationalised procurement and NTBs.

  9. brc

    Redmond is the HQ for Microsoft. My first free-association was perhaps it was something to do with the Gates foundation. Realizing that was wrong I just gave up and scrolled until I found someone else asking the same question.

    Redmond should be in detention for gross misallocation of funds – building cities that nobody actually lives in.

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