Melbourne – world’s best place to live and to visit

melbourne

Conde Nast in the US has designated Melbourne as “the friendliest city in the world”. Tied with Auckland for first place, this is what they said:

Readers called Melbourne “one of the classiest cities in the world” with the locals “a friendly bunch” with a “wonderful sense of humour”.

Melbourne’s abundance of national parks and public art are given special mention by readers, and the magazine itself calls it the “capital of cool” for its cuisine, its happening night-life and its world-class arts scene.

I’m more of a world heritage type myself so it’s Paris and London that I head for. But for just cruising through life, who can argue with the results of a survey? The science is settled.

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82 Responses to Melbourne – world’s best place to live and to visit

  1. Infidel Tiger

    Complete toilet.

  2. Ubique

    Melbourne is nothing more than a den of commies, rent-seekers, shysters and spivs.

  3. squawkbox

    Every time I’ve visited it’s been raining. And the State government still whinges about water shortages. Although it’s still an improvement on Sydney. As the survey says, the locals are friendly. Insane, psychotic and drunk but still friendly.

  4. Rafe

    Outer suburb of Launceston.

  5. nerblnob

    I preferred Melbourne when nobody had heard of it and it never won surveys in anything. Pretty much everything that was great about it has been fucked up by some regulation or other and every type of art or fun banned or worse, approved and sanctioned, by the powers that be.

  6. Baldrick

    Ahh Melbourne … Monday one day, Tuesday the next!

  7. jumpnmcar

    Been there twice.
    Once in winter – raining, 6 degrees on the tarmac.
    Once in summer – raining, 6 degrees on the tarmac.
    Yarra a brown, rubbish filled, rainbow surfaces disgrace.
    No surprise so many Melbourne enviro ” scientists ” ignore it to snorkel the GBR an scream ” save da reef ” then go back, cash cheques, apply for more funds while loosing their tans.

  8. Bruce of Newcastle

    Paris is not so nice:

    Bloomberg News quotes Jean-Francois Zhou, the president of the Chinese association of travel agencies in France, as saying “Chinese people romanticise France, they know about French literature and French love stories, but some of them end up in tears, swearing they’ll never come back.” They book a holiday expecting all the charm of a city of romance and beautiful buildings; they discover pickpockets in railway stations and airports, dirt everywhere, and rudeness from waiters and hotel staff.

  9. Bob

    Cripes. Sounds like they don’t have any head-bangers there. Can that be right?

  10. 1735099

    If Melbourne is such a wonderful destination, why are half its residents hauling caravans around here (St George, Mitchell, Surat, Roma) where I’m working at the moment?
    Will the last to leave turn the lights out?

  11. nilk

    Ah, Melbournistan. I love her but she’s not what she was.

    Still better than Sydney, but IT has a point.

  12. iamok

    I live in Country Vic and I can say that Melbourne is pretty cool with plenty to eat and do. The weather – 4 seasons in one day – is a bit of a misnomer, compare rainfall etc to Sydney. It’s not perfect but it’s pretty good. The traffic is crap and yes we are over-regulated by a bunch of tossers in power. Sound familiar?

    I have recently been to all major capitals bar Brissy. Darwin I love, but it’s not everyone’s cup of tea and of course the local fauna can be a bit of an issue. Adelaide, you could sleep through that place. Perth tries hard, but has a definite undercurrent of johnny-come-latelyism about it. Sydney is normally pissing rain when I am there. The locals are up themselves and apart from the Rocks, Darling Harbour and Opera House there is not much on offer. Hobart is OK if you don’t mind freezing your bits off, Lonny – well – Hawthorn AFL have a base there so say no more.

    So Melbourne ain’t perfect but it’s pretty good. And of course it’s the sporting capital of the universe where the locals actually care about what they watch, not just if their team is winning the cash splash.

  13. JohnA

    The science is settled.

    You have just pronounced a death sentence on our most livable city – thanks for nothing!

    Baldrick +2 (one for each day)

  14. Grigory M

    Lonny

    I spent a week there one day. The town that John Denver wrote his Toledo. Ohio song about.

  15. Grigory M

    Americans – what would they know? Maybe they thought they were voting for Melbourne in Florida – or Melbourne in Boston. Phonetically, they wouldn’t know the difference – “Mell-borne”.

  16. outsider

    Bike guys I grew up with always called it Bleak City – a fitting reward for a ride down the Gloom Byway. Now I’ve been there a dozen times I realise how understated they were. Abbott should drop Conde Nasty pamphletts over the ME offering free passage there, on condition you can never move to Sydney, or anywhere else in Aust for that matter.

  17. steve

    Sydney, home of bitter jealous Cats……..but at least you have an old bridge and a shed on the water.

  18. Alfonso

    A grey little place, Australia’s Manchester.
    Poor bastards.

    Australia has only one international city and it isn’t Bleak Town.

  19. Rabz

    One of the most obvious things I noticed about Melbourne during my travels there (before I imposed a now more than decade long tourism boycott) was the prevalence of vomit in and around the inner city and CBD.

    Nowadays I mostly travel there for work and as I’ve also noted before, the taxi drivers are long overdue a mass appointment with those friendly chaps from ISIS.

    Otherwise, as far as I’m concerned, the place sucks arse. If you love braindead meddling socialists with a penchant for building desalination plants, gouging drivers with numerous fines, that absurd ‘game’ ALPFL , pretentious hipsters and unassimilated ethnic imbeciles, it’s no doubt heaven on earth.

  20. steve

    One of the most obvious things I noticed about Melbourne during my travels there (before I imposed a now more than decade long tourism boycott) was the prevalence of vomit in and around the inner city and CBD.

    You will find, Rabz, that if you are an arse, there will be a lot more shit around you than any one else.

  21. Frederic

    Probably the worlds worst weather. I haven’t been able to take my baby for a walk in a year. It’s either burning hot, freezing or horribly wet. The only good weather is for 3 weeks in September. That’s when I swim outside and remember how we are such a sporty outdoors society in Australia.

  22. Frederic

    My gravatar is still a swastika by the way.

    Toledo Ohio was Elvis Costello

  23. Mike of Marion

    Rabz, that would be all the wannabee Bazza McKenzies having a technicolour yawn after a night on the Fosters!!!

  24. Watching It Unfold

    I’ve had enough – I’m moving to Heathcote to drink red wine and play golf……

  25. The Yarra – only river on the planet that flows upside down….

  26. Mike of Marion

    Watching It Unfold

    #1422157, posted on August 19, 2014 at 8:38 am

    Have agood friend in Heathcote – also the Bakery is pretty good too

  27. Grigory M

    Toledo Ohio was Elvis Costello

    No sirree.

    Toledo, Ohio (also known as Saturday Night in Toledo, Ohio) is a John Denver original.

    Toledo, by Elvis Costello, is a totally different song.

  28. John of bicheno

    The reason Tasmania is moving closer to the mainland has nothing to do with continental drift, its because Melbourne sucks

  29. Viva

    Melbourne’s much better than Sydney for shopping, has continental ambience, loved Williamstown, much better museum and art gallery, wonderful bookshops – shame about the far left and the weather down there.

  30. Grigory M

    If Tromso is the Paris of the North – then surely Melbourne is the Mexico City of the South.

  31. notafan

    Melbourne
    This morning I was awakened on my first even closing on Tuesdays day off to be told by a shop neighbour that I had water gushing out of my shop.
    Fled up in my pyjamas to find someone had removed the tap at the back of my shop and the one next door. Probably been running all night.
    Managed to turn the water off at the main inside the shop (Girl Power) and make a bunch of calls.
    Yarra Valley water advised there has been a spate of these lately so if you are in Melbourne’s eastern suburbs and have copper taps that are accessible to assholes; beware.
    Who the heck is buying these and facilitating this vandalism?

  32. Petros

    It’s really the only place that feels like a city in Australia to me. I lived in Sydney. It just doesn’t have a city feel to it. Maybe it’s the harbour or the fact that the demographic centre is near Parramatta, not the CBD. Anyway, horses for courses. Vienna, Paris, London, NYC, Amsterdam, Singapore, Honkers, Athens and Rome all feel like cities, if you know what I mean.

  33. goatjam

    Otherwise, as far as I’m concerned, the place sucks arse. If you love braindead meddling socialists with a penchant for building desalination plants, gouging drivers with numerous fines, that absurd ‘game’ ALPFL , pretentious hipsters and unassimilated ethnic imbeciles, it’s no doubt heaven on earth.

    I’m a Sydneysider currently residing in Melbourne and what you say is entirely correct. The place is a socialist cesspit without even a single listenable radio station. It is also geographically bland and the drivers are generally useless tools who wouldn’t last 5 minutes in Sydney peak hour. I’ve actually had people here actually say that they are afraid when driving in Sydney. LOL

  34. Diogenes

    What – Melboring ???

    When I worked for a large multinational computer company in Brizzy we had a raffle – 1st prize 1 week in Melbourne, 2nd prize 2 weeks in Melbourne , 3rd prize 3 weeks in Melbourne.

    Queue the old joke – the best thing to come out of Melbourne – the Hume Highway heading north …

  35. Ant

    Residing in Melbourne myself I have to defend it against ‘The Crazies’ here.

    It’s not such a bad place. Weather overall could be better but Autumns are generally excellent and the summers, while only occasionaly hot, are usually relieved with the famed evening cool changes. For me I would much prefer it to swealtering heat and humidity as found well north of here.

    Politically, if you stay away from Fitzroy, the uni zones, some parts of Richmond and the inner city generally, you tend to avoid most of the freakshows.

    Getting around by car is often a problem due to traffic, but the public transport system is good and there are options available.

    The “world’s most liveable…” thing is BS. There is a lot to criticise, but on balance the place scores for me on a lot of levels.

  36. Wozzup

    As an Adelaidian I should hate Melbourne based on the traditional enmities between them. But I love it. Gorgeous. I agree whole heartedly.

    Our local government attempts to convince us that Adelaide is one of the best places in the world to live. Adelaide is OK for a small regional town, but its tedious, tired and lacking in a robust economy. Its fine if you have an independent income but if not be prepared for the dole queues. Don’t imagine Melbourne is the only city riddled with socialists. Adelaide has to be their capital. This is the 4th terms of a proven inadequate socialist government that has dragged the economy into the toilet that actually seems to promote reliance on government as a way of life. As a frequent visitor to Melbourne I find it livable, “european” in style classy and exciting. It may have its problems (which city does not) but I would prefer to live there rather than any other city in Australia should I have the opportunity (sadly at present I do not).

  37. Danzig_misfit

    I lived in Sydney for 9 years and have been back in Melbourne for the last 7 years. Not sure about the traffic comment Goatjam, there in nothing scary about doing 15KMH down Parramatta Road.

  38. Watching It Unfold

    Mike – Heathcote rocks, and the golf course is brilliant, Curry pies at local bakery are just great – I could do worse ……

  39. Watching It Unfold

    Socialism and Melbourne – Rudd was from QLD, Sydney has an ALP Mafia, and Gillard is from SA. Socialist crazies are everywhere…..a shame but wherever there is power, there is corruption, some people just manage it better – at least the Libs don’t try and stick a syringe directly into your life.

  40. Megan

    I’m going to jump to my home town’s defense as well. You’re all just jealous.

  41. David

    And we bitch about the muzzies not being part of Team Australia. Just take a nanno-second to digest the team building accord above.

    If you really want to you can fault all of our cities in one way or another or find their good points – and they all have some.

    Get back to ripping TT a new one and do something useful. As for Numbers comment – try driving south from Victoria whacker. There is a bloody great water filled ditch which can be fun or a nightmare to sail.

    Nearly time for elevenses.

  42. Infidel Tiger

    I used to love Melbourne. It was the most beautiful city in Australia by far.

    My Grandmother was the last person in Victoria to wear gloves and a hat to catch the tram to Myer, Bourke Street to do her shopping. She was a good Baptist and Sidney was a Dead Sea Pedestrian, but he ran a good emporium. Anyway, she’s now dead and Melbourne is a grimy shithole teeming with filth.

  43. struth

    Tbey have been pushing this for years.
    Melbourne found four blokes around a card table in ethnicastan and psid them to come to this conclusion. ………

    The type they really are quoting bullshit on about things like drinking water quality but never drink anything but bottled themselves,
    Quality of art galleries makes it liveable or visitable?
    We were telling this to tourists in the nineties.

  44. JohnA

    drivers are generally useless tools who wouldn’t last 5 minutes in Sydney peak hour

    Sigh, with this I must concur.

    We are the worst city traffic drivers in the nation.

    Too much open space and wide roads.

    I blame it on the railway gauges. :-)

  45. John of Mel

    Hm… interesting.
    My wife recently went to the US (Illinois and California) and she said that in terms of overall friendliness she experienced again what we did when we just came to Australia (Melbourne) from one of the former Soviet republics.

  46. John of Mel

    Apart from San-Francisco I hasten to add.

  47. .

    Darwin I love, but it’s not everyone’s cup of tea and of course the local fauna can be a bit of an issue.

    Have you tried cosmopolitan Alice Springs?

  48. .

    Quality of art galleries makes it liveable or visitable?
    We were telling this to tourists in the nineties.

    LOL

    Steve Bracks telling you how good you’ve got it and you chumps believed it.

  49. The Hunted Mind

    Sigh, with this I must concur.

    We are the worst city traffic drivers in the nation.

    Too much open space and wide roads.

    Victoria has the Naziest speed camera enforcement in the world. This combined with the fact that too many idiot Victorians have swallowed the speed kills propaganda means that you a have a bunch of wankers who sit in the right hand lane of any and every freeway blocking traffic and feeling all smug and superior about it. It’s the most frustrating place in the world to drive around.

  50. .

    Victoria has the Naziest speed camera enforcement in the world. This combined with the fact that too many idiot Victorians have swallowed the speed kills propaganda means that you a have a bunch of wankers who sit in the right hand lane of any and every freeway blocking traffic and feeling all smug and superior about it. It’s the most frustrating place in the world to drive around.

    …and then they migrate to NSW and spout the bullshit “only idiots get caught speeding” mantra. Fuck off to Cuba, you swine.

  51. Rabz

    then they migrate to NSW and spout the bullshit “only idiots get caught speeding” mantra.

    While denouncing anyone who disagrees as a leftist.

  52. The Hunted Mind

    …and then they migrate to NSW and spout the bullshit “only idiots get caught speeding” mantra. Fuck off to Cuba, you swine.

    As a Melbournian I agree with that sentiment. Frankly, only brain dead, obedient sheep don’t get caught speeding here.

  53. Jack

    I love Melbourne. Black skivvies. Dour skies. Peopled huddled over their coffee, trying to stay out of the gale-force winds. A sleepy Nostalgic throwback to 1950s Australia. Whimsical comparisons to Sydney.

    Strange red columns pointing skyward on the freeway.

    Romper stomper on mogadons.

  54. Yobbo

    I’m sure lots of Australian cities seem nice to rich journalists for whom money is no object.

    For the rest of us, Australia fucking sucks.

  55. .

    Rabz
    #1422481, posted on August 19, 2014 at 1:31 pm
    then they migrate to NSW and spout the bullshit “only idiots get caught speeding” mantra.

    While denouncing anyone who disagrees as a leftist.

    Hilarity ensues.

  56. .

    Spencer Street is a shithole. As is the approach to Southbank. The only sign of civilisation there is the Casino and some very pricey bars. The SBS HQ is an abomination, so much that the Anglican Church ought to petition to get rid of that ugly “sculpture” so near the landmark Cathedral they have nearby.

    But hey. It’s better than Casula.

  57. Frederic

    I hated it until I discovered Big boy BBQ in Hardware Lane, haven’t needed to back to Texas ever aince

  58. Come to Perth.

    Beautiful weather (mostly), plus a takeaway coffee is only $5.

  59. Petros

    Adelaide and Calgary made the top ten in this list. It must be completely crap methodology then.

  60. Walter Plinge

    “Beautiful weather (mostly), plus a takeaway coffee is only $5.”

    Whaddya mean “Only $5′”? Cripes, that’s extortion. And as for Perth’s fish and chips…total rip off.

    MELBOURNE has kept its crown as the best place in the world to live for the fourth year running with a near-perfect score.

    THE Victorian capital narrowly edged out Vienna, as well as maintaining a safe distance at the top from its traditional rival Sydney, which finished below Adelaide on the ladder.

    http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/latest-news/melbourne-worlds-most-liveable-city/story-fn3dxiwe-1227029085973

  61. Grigory M

    I love Melbourne. Black skivvies.

    Is Michael Feinstein visiting again?

  62. Grigory M

    haven’t needed to back to Texas ever aince

    Maybe you should try Toledo, Frederic – who knows, Elvis Costello might be singing there (too late for John Denver).

  63. Bruce in WA

    On the Beach is a story about the end of the world, and Melbourne sure is the right place to film it.

    Yes, I know, she never really said that, but the sentiment was there — and I agree with it. Melboring is grey, undending, unremitting grey. And that’s just the people.

    As for a $5 for a cup of coffee here in Perth, try $7.25 in Scarborough Beach Road.

  64. Notafan

    IT, did your grandma hit the Myers ladies lounge at 12 o’clock for Days of our Lives?
    I was told about the phenomenon when I was young and went one day for a peak.
    Very entertaining and the cloak room for hats and coats did very brisk business too

  65. Porcelain Monkey

    Philippa

    Is that the same Perth where you can’t buy a beer for less than $10?

  66. Infidel Tiger

    IT, did your grandma hit the Myers ladies lounge at 12 o’clock for Days of our Lives?

    Hardly. She was a devout Baptist and believed television to be the work of the devil. Her only form of entertainment was the church newsletter and liberally sampling the rum before putting it in the Christmas Cake.

    Funnily enough we would often catch her glued to Wheel Of Fortune when she came to visit. She was a bloody whiz at solving those puzzles.

  67. Philippa

    Is that the same Perth where you can’t buy a beer for less than $10?

    Why, the very same!

    We consider ourselves privileged to be living in the World’s Best Place To Live. With a reputation like that, which must surely make us the envy of the really important people in the international world, $15 beers are a mere bagatelle.

  68. Hardly. She was a devout Baptist and believed television to be the work of the devil. Her only form of entertainment was the church newsletter and liberally sampling the rum before putting it in the Christmas Cake.

    Yep, that was Nan. I’m only sorry she died before I got to meet her.

    But she did hand down her pineapple and vodka casserole recipe to my dear Mum, so she lives on in our memories.

    And our lower intestines.

  69. Infidel Tiger

    Savoury mince with sultanas… with bible stories for dessert.

  70. Grigory M

    But she did hand down her pineapple and vodka casserole recipe to my dear Mum, so she lives on in our memories.

    And our lower intestines.

    Gastric reflux springs to mind. Not sure if there is a medical term for pickled alimentary canal.

  71. C.L.

    If they played football down there, it would – granted – be a swell place.

  72. JC

    Wheel Of Fortune when she came to visit. She was a bloody whiz at solving those puzzles.

    wasn’t that just a spinning wheel and you had to pick the right number to win… was there a puzzle to solve?

  73. Porcelain Monkey

    Also, Perth weather sucks. Except for two weeks in April and all of September.

  74. BilB

    I have to agree, Steve Kates, on London. I love that city for its history and culture. Mind you I love Melbourne for all of the stated reasons. I look forward to experiencing Paris, but will be seeing the Czech Republic first (trade show) next month. Until it was turned into a shambles Christchurch was my all time favourite city, though. I also love Vancouver.

  75. Motelier

    I do enjoy the golf courses in the sand belt.

    Oh and some of the restaurants are pretty good as well.

    But the climate sucks. I experienced the proverbial 4 seasons in a day in October one year.

    And when Mrs M and I went to Melbourne way back in the early 80′s winter, we had a day of uhmmmmmm nothing more that 6C. So we stayed in bed :grin: .

    Move the golf courses to a better climate and you have a winner.

  76. Notafan

    I didn’t know about the telly thing.
    Elderly ladies in the Myers ladies lounge, always a full house and good for a giggle.
    I love Melbourne for its cooler weather, if we could get cooler Januarys and Februarys it would be perfect.

  77. Richard D

    Out of the 4 grand slam tennis tournaments, which one has the host city’s name plastered everywhere?

    Says it all

  78. Gerry

    Not as great a place if you are a teenager of course ….they don’t have a prize for best city for a teenager because they just have to put up with cafés, theatre and parks – none of which really count for much if you aren’t a middle class trendy adult ….

  79. Combine Dave

    Bad weather, good food and high cost of property and city car ownership.

    So not a bad place to visit (weather permitting) but not my idea of livable. I guess the yanks doing the survey come from much worse places, detriot?

  80. BilB

    Good point, Gerry. What do teenagers want from their city?

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