An Eloi Manifesto

green policy uk

This is from Tim Blair and I cannot tell if this is a parody or something taken directly from a Green election pamphlet somewhere. Reads straight out of the 1930s so I opt for parody but who can be sure?

Going to the original Tim links to, the comments thread is hilarious. I guess I prefer the Greens to ISIS, but with the Greens in charge, ISIS will not be far behind.

I’VE NOW GONE AND LOOKED: It really is there, page 77, just like it says. There are no words for such people, but the Morlocks will come and get them sooner than they think.

And I have to say, this elois and morlocks thing has a kind of modern day significance I will have to dwell on further.

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39 Responses to An Eloi Manifesto

  1. Infidel Tiger

    Seems plausible. Obviously everyone is working for free.

  2. .

    ALL of the kids go to the nursery?

    The social worker works beyond a mandated 35 hour work week?

  3. Splatacrobat

    When I was in grade six I voted for a kid who was running for student council on a platform of lemonade flowing bubblers in the playground.
    He got voted in but I never experienced one refreshing drop. That was my first lesson in avoiding fuckers offering free stuff and it has served me well over 40 years.

  4. Fisky

    Why the fuck is the Post Office selling milk? These people are certifiable.

  5. Splatacrobat

    Why the fuck is the Post Office selling milk?

    Because in Green utopia Post offices no longer deliver letters as that was tree rape. Photo copiers and paper would be banned for all except Green party members.

  6. Infidel Tiger

    You don’t expect them to deliver mail? They never have previously.

  7. JohnA

    LOL!! They forgot to change the working week – 1500/9.60 = approx 156 hours = STILL a 36 hour week or a 7 hour day.

  8. wreckage

    “You walk down the street wondering why everything is total shit. Then you remember that you voted for shiny-arsed bureaucrats to control literally every aspect of your life. it turns out that freeing people from freedom really is as fucking stupid as it sounds.”

    “Taking a bite from your gluten-free, meat-free, no GMO, no ag chemicals sandwich – also known as a small piece of dirt to stave off the hunger that has already killed your children – you shamble towards the electric bus. It doesn’t run any more because generating electricity is all but illegal, but you hope to whore yourself to a visiting international businessman for enough money to buy cruelty-free milk; a nasty slurry of ground chalk and polluted water that claims to contain vitamins, but nobody believes anything anymore. He enjoys meeting you by the broken down remains of the 20-year obsolete machinery, as it reminds him of his childhood in the slums of Africa….”

  9. Armadillo

    wreckage sounds just a touch overly optimistic about life under the GreenLords.

  10. Sydney Boy

    The policies of the UK Greens make the policies of the Australian Greens seem sane in comparison. Now that is scary stuff!

  11. Combine Dave

    The policies of the UK Greens make the policies of the Australian Greens seem sane in comparison. Now that is scary stuff!

    Their agenda has obviously progressed further in the Uk.

    What makes you think the Australian ones dont have similar plans for us? After meeting a few Aussie greens I can confirm they are no better.

  12. Gab

    Greens across the globe: Demented misanthropes.

  13. Lem

    “Your Gran is cheerful too happy to be back on her feet after her recent stay in hospital..”

    This is not the future. This is now. I understand most Brits feel relieved to put their hospital experiences behind them after a close encounter with the NHS.

  14. dianeh

    The buses are not-for-profit now and cheaper’


    Never ceases to amaze me that many people think that taking away a profit motive will make the end product cheaper. And this is with numerous examples of govt waste and inefficiencies to prove that it is not the case.

  15. Zippy The Younger

    Get back to work you bludgers and earn some tax! Government needs to feed people!

  16. Bryn

    But of course the leader of the UK Greens party is … Australian born ….

  17. Ellen of Tasmania

    It really shows how delusional people can be when they don’t get a proper education.

    So much for progress. They have exchanged the truth for a lie.

  18. lotocoti

    They don’t appear to have any mechanism for stopping the doctor, who fixed Gran’s problem using low-tech, local solutions, from quitting their new Utopia, when she/he/it gets tired of having to pay for all that free organic food in schools.

  19. Token

    I read that and thought what a dismal life the planners have for us.

    I bet they’ll excite the young and rebellious teens & early twenties with that blueprint for mass conformity.

  20. Token

    “Your Gran is cheerful too happy to be back on her feet after her recent stay in hospital..”

    Gran really is a good loyal Boxer, isn’t she?

    There is a real Lego Movie feel to their world – Everything is awesome.

  21. Zippy The Younger

    Islamic State close to taking Ramadi, just 70 miles from Baghdad
    West of Baghdad, Iraq (CNN)Falih Essawi shouted on the phone as he described his situation. From his point of view, ISIS militants might be just hours away from taking the key Iraqi city of Ramadi.

    Fierce fighting has engulfed Ramadi, which lies only about 70 miles (113 kilometers) west of Baghdad and is the capital of Anbar province, Iraq’s Sunni heartland.

    Essawi, the deputy head of the Anbar Provincial Council, told CNN from inside the city Wednesday that it’s unclear how much longer government troops can hold their front lines against the ISIS offensive.

    The politician said he was on a front line himself, armed with a machine gun. Security was “collapsing rapidly in the city,” and he begged the Iraqi government for reinforcements and the U.S.-led coalition against ISIS for air support. He stressed that urgent support from the military and security forces is needed to save the city.

    “This is what we warned Baghdad of what’s going to happen,” Essawi told CNN by phone, referring to the Iraqi government at the capital. “Where is Baghdad? Where is al-Abadi?”

    His plea for help comes the day after Iraqi Prime Minister Haider al-Abadi met with U.S. President Barack Obama in Washington to seek more support for the fight against ISIS.

  22. Zippy The Younger

    ISIS Camp a Few Miles from Texas, Mexican Authorities Confirm
    ISIS is operating a camp just a few miles from El Paso, Texas, according to Judicial Watch sources that include a Mexican Army field grade officer and a Mexican Federal Police Inspector.

    The exact location where the terrorist group has established its base is around eight miles from the U.S. border in an area known as “Anapra” situated just west of Ciudad Juárez in the Mexican state of Chihuahua. Another ISIS cell to the west of Ciudad Juárez, in Puerto Palomas, targets the New Mexico towns of Columbus and Deming for easy access to the United States, the same knowledgeable sources confirm.

    During the course of a joint operation last week, Mexican Army and federal law enforcement officials discovered documents in Arabic and Urdu, as well as “plans” of Fort Bliss – the sprawling military installation that houses the US Army’s 1st Armored Division. Muslim prayer rugs were recovered with the documents during the operation.

    Law enforcement and intelligence sources report the area around Anapra is dominated by the Vicente Carrillo Fuentes Cartel (“Juárez Cartel”), La Línea (the enforcement arm of the cartel) and the Barrio Azteca (a gang originally formed in the jails of El Paso). Cartel control of the Anapra area make it an extremely dangerous and hostile operating environment for Mexican Army and Federal Police operations.

  23. NFW

    It’s self defeating. If everybody is leaving work at 5pm on the dot, how can the Greens’ voter be taken home in the eco-friendly bus (no doubt wind powered) and then go to the child care centre to pick up a child when everybody has gone home at 5pm. It seems the “manifesto” may be written for those not soiling their hands (pardon the pun) with manual labour such as bus driving and child care. I wonder if it’s not aimed at the administrative and ruling classes from the inner cities and Greens belts (including drug growing and welfare areas) which work in air conditioned or heated offices such as universities (whoops, no night classes for those doing daylight manual labour) and government. It’s just a thought.

  24. Zippy The Younger

    oops wrong fred

  25. Armchair Spaceman

    Flintstones did it greener.

  26. rafiki

    This comment to the post in question sums it up.

    “It stands to reason that where every idiot over the age of 18 has an equal right to elect a government, and the principal business of government is transferring money from people who have earned it to those who haven’t, that you get the kind of mess we have now.”

  27. Bruce in WA

    I finished the story for them on Tim’s page:

    Daughter returns from playing with friend. You happily open your daily ration pack and share the meal, carefully putting the empty, biodegradable packaging in the correct bin of the mandated six bins you now have.

    After dinner, you and children watch a BBC program on electric tractor production in Chesky-Krumlov, followed by a rousing new ballet, “The Rescued Swan”, where ordinary workers save a swan and her chicks from the heartless farmer who wants her dead and eaten for Christmas.

    By 8.00 pm the children are fast asleep while visions of tofu choccies dance in their head.

    You draw a long bath, fold your clothes neatly, slash your wrists wide open with your deliberately sharpened, and thus highly illegal, butter knife and slide into the grey water with, at last, a smile on your face.

  28. .

    #1657517, posted on April 16, 2015 at 8:26 am
    I read that and thought what a dismal life the planners have for us.

    I bet they’ll excite the young and rebellious teens & early twenties with that blueprint for mass conformity.

    You would be shocked and appalled by what some drab muppets think. Big papa government and free booze is all they want.

  29. mundi

    This just confirms the greens do not understand what wealth is or how it is generated.

    Notice the emphasis on the buses being non profit, and the milk from the post office (no doubt free or non profit).

    With no profit there is no investment and no way for innovation to win out. So all prices will stop.

    Actually maybe they do know this stops wealth creation. Isn’t one of their goals a steady state economy? They think the example is the peak of man’s progress.

  30. Roger

    It actually reads like a speech by David Cameron, who has made 20 billion pounds worth of unfunded promises in recent months, including free child care and subsidised home ownership (well, his home is subsidised by the tax payer so why not?).

  31. rebel with cause

    so with the £9.60 minimum wage you get around £1,500 a month before tax.

    Why no mention of what you are left with after tax in the social republic of Greenistan?

  32. goatjam

    They don’t appear to have any mechanism for stopping the doctor, who fixed Gran’s problem using low-tech, local solutions, from quitting their new Utopia, when she/he/it gets tired of having to pay for all that free organic food in schools.

    Yes, they left out the part where they have closed all airports, seaports and the channel tunnel and have 24 hr patrols of the English Channel searching for attempted deserters who are summarily machine gunned in the water. Their remaining relatives are then sent an invoice for the bullets used.

  33. Econocrat

    The copyright info states:

    The text in this document may be reproduced free of charge in any format or medium provided that it is reproduced accurately and not used in a misleading context.

    I presume that would allow one to cite it as an example of a plan for medieval socialist autarky?

  34. Squirrel

    With due credit to Bruce in WA, it reads like a plot outline for a cosy, heart-warming light drama (with the occasional touch of whimsical humour) produced by regional BBC.

  35. George Thomas


    The Greens and ISIS both love death (human, and preferably not their own) so there is a definite chance of a coalition.


  36. Andrew

    LOL @ a Londoner on 20,000 quid pre tax having plans to buy a house! Perhaps there has been a massive property crash for some reason between now and 2019…

    Anyhow I’ve seen this a few times and I see NOTHING shocking or unusually loopy about it. ZEVs is obviously an exaggeration, but hybrid diesel trucks are routine in the private sector now for CBD use because they make sense. A whole bunch of free stuff and higher minimum wages are hardly novel ideas in a Greenleft manifesto, esp for social services.

    OK, the PO selling milk was a bit out there, but as for the rest it’s remarkably sane compared to:

    – the WBCT and Enormous Trading Scam
    – open borders without security screening
    – thinking Sea Patrol is a documentary
    – supporting the Goose’s BER
    – burning Vermont forests in the Drax power station designed for coal

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