This is from a Dan Mitchell post in Internation Liberty.  It is a bit old, but still has currency.

New Scientific Discovery!

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named “Governmentium”. Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as “Critical Morass”. You will know it when you see it.

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9 Responses to Funny

  1. OldOzzie

    As summed up in comment on
    Government by Faculty Lounge Subject to Repeal
    By Michael Barone

    Obama was like a dose of the clap but soon to be treated by Trumpicillin

    The real problem will trying to get rid of the thousands of Progressive politically appointed moles in the myriad bureaucracies that are burrowing by joining the federal employee “payroll” (I was going to say ‘workforce’, but that would be inaccurate on many levels)

  2. stackja

    FDR in USA and Whitlam in Australia.

  3. JohnA

    Oh, dear.

    It would seem that this represents an innovative, agile development from the previous research which discovered Administratum.

    Could we scour the Grants Commission for the identities of the recipients of the relevant grant? It might be interesting and useful to understand what links there may be with the Coalition. Could it have been a Health initiative, given that the execrable Minister Ley has been in the news of late?


  4. Gavin R Putland

    It’s been tweaked over the years. Here’s the original, found via Wikipedia: .

  5. Mark M

    Sounds like a healthy dose of ‘governmentium’ was applied in this example:

    VIDEO: Ipswich shopping centre shut down during helicopter solar panel drop-off

    Not sure how much money was saved, but, those solar panels will need to work night and day to re-stabilse the environment after that.

  6. Paul

    And after the discovery of Governmentium, the 97% consensus is the prediction of an new element called “Authoritarium”, where it is predicted to have no half life, twice as many neutrons, and thousands of electrons to attract the free radicals.

  7. Rasputin

    Old Ozzie:
    Perhaps you should consider using workfarce?

  8. OldOzzie


    #2256663, posted on January 9, 2017 at 6:02 pm
    Old Ozzie:
    Perhaps you should consider using workfarce?

    Agree “Workfarce” sounds much better and is a better description

    but still like

    “Obama was like a dose of the clap but soon to be treated by Trumpicillin”

  9. Cannibal

    Recently, many of the lower-ranked neutrons have been seen to absorb leftish radiation, to the extent that they have been re-named eleleftrons, causing the nucleus to take on an aggregate negative charge. The resultant additional repulsive forces within the nucleus are more than compensated for by a complementary increase in the moronic forces as witnessed via the reflexive blindness of journo-morons, and the enforced ignorance of the peons.

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