The New Australian Bill of Rights

A joint parliamentary committee of Liberal, Green and Labor members has unanimously proposed that a new Australian Bill of Rights be added to the Australian Constitution.  They are seeking feedback.  You have 3 hours after which it will be too late.

  1. You have the right to free speech and expression when criticising males, heterosexuals, Judaeo-Christians and/or Anglo-Saxons. All other speech and expression shall be regulated.
  2. You have the right to live beyond your economic means through the forced confiscation of wealth from others – the “rich”, “business” and those otherwise needing to “pay their fair share”.
  3. You have the right to unlimited credit, below the cost of capital, with no obligations of repayment.
  4. You have the right to contemporaneously maximise the price of your house and demand the government minimise the price of your neighbour’s house so that your offspring can purchase.
  5. You have the right to invest in get rich quick schemes, without reading or understanding the details, and to be made whole by others when the schemes fail.
  6. You have the right to be a member of a union and be paid a below award salary and to then demand that non-one else has such rights.
  7. You have the right to break any laws you don’t like and claim the “not fair” defence.
  8. Residents of SA, NT and TAS have the right to claim the taxes of other citizens of states so as to fund the further destruction of local (SA, NT and TAS) economic industries.
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25 Responses to The New Australian Bill of Rights

  1. Rabz

    You have the right to claim that you’re the opposite of your gender even if doing so is clearly patently absurd.

  2. Fred Furkenburger

    What could possibly go wrong I say!

  3. Crossie

    If you are a leftie you have the right to offend everyone on the right while they have no right of reply.

  4. Splatacrobat

    You have the right to equality of outcome by taking down those on pegs above you by whatever means available until everyone is at the lowest common denominator.

  5. Bruce of Newcastle

    I don’t think they’d like my submission anyway: there are no rights, only obligations and responsibilities.
    Saying that would be like farting in Parliament.

  6. Zyconoclast

    I don’t think they’d like my submission…

    BON
    They will love your submission.

  7. Snoopy

    I can live with numbers 1, 7 and 8 provided the other rights are guaranteed.

  8. Perpetually motionless

    Why was Queensland excluded from 8? They have always been the ultimate mendicant state. Queensland was built on the hard work and taxes of New South Welshmen.

  9. RobK

    The UN shall have the power to convene the ultimate court of appeal in the land.

  10. Pingback: The New Australian Bill of Rights | Catallaxy Files | Cranky Old Crow

  11. You have the right to free energy because wind and sunlight are free.

  12. kc

    You have the right to deny the scientific facts regarding gender and at the same time have the right to demand others accept the scientific absurdity of climate change.

  13. Nerblnob

    All Australians deserve an electric train to their premises while shutting down power stations and wrecking the grid.

  14. Howard Hill

    Why do we need a new one? Isn’t the one you just described the existing one?
    If we’re going to introduce new rites, can we ensure that each one will be repeated ad nauseam at every level of .gov? After all isn’t this a country of imbeciles as described by Einstein? We must ensure we get it rite :~)

  15. srr

    Jordan Peterson said it best (so of course I can’t find that short bit in his hundreds of hours of videos), that specific “rights” actually deny Common Law Rights, all rights equally for everyone, that already exist, and only allow very limited, specified, ‘rights’.

  16. MD

    – You have no right to defend yourself or your property;
    – You have no right to cut down trees on your property;
    – You have no right to vote on issues for which jurisdiction has been passed to international bodies;
    – You have no right to vote on single issues but instead must vote for a vague undefined agenda, after which you have no recourse against elected officials;
    – You have no right to vote on, or be appointed to, government and quasi-government appointments that are reserved for mates;
    – You have no right to access to the justice system, unless you are wealthy or belong to a favoured minority;
    – You have a right to live under the ‘rule of law’, meaning that the law will be arbitrarily applied to you at the whim of those who hold power;
    – You have no right to live in a peaceful society, free from harassment and anti-social behaviour;
    – You must live in a lawless society in which the natural consequence of a lack of social control is a society rife with bullying of all descriptions;
    – You have no right to save for your retirement – the government owns you and will decide your ultimate fate.

  17. Shy Ted

    You have the Left. You don’t need any rights.

  18. Robber Baron

    This Bill is unaffordable. I refuse to pay.

  19. Sydney Boy

    You have the right to your assets, goods, and chattels being replaced in the event of an unforeseen circumstance or natural disaster, with no requirement to fund such replacement through paying insurance.

  20. Barry 1963

    What is a “Judaeo-Christian”?

  21. Down in the polls

    As a criminal you have the unfettered right to access and consume the Australian legal system for the sole purpose of your own personal journey and finding of self until such time as you can blame your actions on somebody else.
    As a victim of crime you have the right to remain silent.

  22. .

    As a criminal you have the unfettered right to access and consume the Australian legal system for the sole purpose of your own personal journey and finding of self until such time as you can blame your actions on somebody else.

    Oh bullshit. We have majority jury verdicts and no longer have a right to silence when arrested, along with abuse of process by prosecutors (trying accused multiple times for the same offence, seemingly in contradiction of double jeopardy rules) and no statute of limitations at all.

    Until recently too NSW law had in recent history reversed the burden of proof under workplace laws.

  23. Dr Fred Lenin

    We dont need this u.n.communist crap just another earner for the mongerel lawtrades bastards and the leftoid judges to look as though they are actualiy valuable . We have ancient common law thats enough ,we are much freer than lots of places with bills of “rights ” or is that the rites . of the gaia gang In spite of the career polliemuppets efforts .

  24. .

    Your common law rights aren’t enough because they have been repealed for the most part. Common law rights might be great, but the common law system ain’t. We’re also not freer than America or the Swiss. Not by a long shot. Our common law rights are old but no ancient, the English Bill of Rights extended to all, the Magna Carta to start with did not.

  25. .

    The constitution ought to have had a savings provision for common law rights, but the “genius” framers thought that upstanding Parliamentarians of the British Empire would not legislate their/your/our roghts away.

    They were dead wrong.

    Here is a proposal of the same I made earlier on this blog:

    http://catallaxyfiles.com/2012/07/02/guest-post-dot-on-constitutional-amendment-section-116-a/

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