I Don’t Come to Bury Ceasar

I don’t come to bury Caesar.  I think that the bank “levy” is a dumb idea.  And it is on top of all the other non-company/income taxes paid by the banks, including but not limited to:

  • APRA cost recovery
  • ASIC cost recovery
  • General regulatory imposts from APRA, ASIC and ACCC.

But then, I read Sinc’s post from this morning – Why do the Liberals have no friends where he quotes Niki Savva suggesting that the Australian Banks have no friends.

Perhaps Ms Savva is correct.  But it seems more likely that the Australian Banks have no idea.

Below is a job advertisement from the NAB for the position of “Strategic Designer”.  The link for it is here.  Apparently, NAB wants to bake in Customer Journey frameworks and employ people who seek to see their designs in the hands of real customers (as opposed to unreal customers?).

You can’t help people who won’t help themselves.

Job description

  • Human Centred Design in a business delivery context
  • A new way for NAB to deliver change into the hands of customers
  • A program of work supported from the top of the organisation down

About NAB

NAB is changing the way it delivers its products and services by putting the customer first and foremost in solving for real needs and creating great customer experiences. NAB is seeking to transform the way it operates by baking in Customer Journey frameworks as the way in which we will improve and innovate our business. The commitment is to a customer-centred enterprise, one that embeds customer-centred design and agile as the way in which we will work.

Designers and researchers on these teams provide insights into our users and inspiration from the world outside NAB. They work with the wider team to design solutions that leverage current and new technology to meet real customer needs.

About the Role

The Senior Consultant, Strategic Designer will:

  • Lead strategically focused service design that is practical and applied within a Customer Journey
  • Influence and inform the business on questions of product and service concepts, direction and priority
  • Balance the Journey stream’s direction through the lenses of customer desirability, technical feasibility, and business value
  • Think big picture and be able to define and shape the vision of an overall Customer Journey stream whilst staying focussed on execution and delivering real results
  • Be accountable for measuring success against key NPS metrics

The role will work directly with delivery teams, to see their designs in the hands of real customers.

Our designers work as an integral part of a multi-skilled team, while remaining a formal part of NAB Lab’s HCD practice.

Desired Skills and Experience

About You

You are someone who is driven by a desire to improve people’s lives through design, and is pragmatic about the how. Curious, optimistic and empathetic to finding the best methods, and value collaboration.

As the successful candidate, you will have 3+ years’ hands on practical (not theoretical) experience applying Design Thinking, Lean-startup and Agile principles for the creation of new solution and customer experience improvements.

Formal education in product and service design highly regarded, but not required if skills can be demonstrated through other arenas.

If you have the energy to create significant, scalable and sustainable innovation for customers, we would love to hear from you……

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28 Responses to I Don’t Come to Bury Ceasar

  1. mh

    NAB just don’t get it. It should read:

    As the successful candidate you will support marriage equality

  2. If they can’t write job and policy descriptions in plain English, they most certainly won’t be ‘connecting’ with any of their customers (real or not).

  3. Andreas Brown

    It’s a systems and processes designer working from the User Experience perspective. Not written particularly well

  4. Cynic of Ayr

    What a load of absolute crap!
    It’s easy being a banker:
    Don’t spend your profits on a half million a year ponce, to design new withdrawal slips, and counters. Spend it by reducing your fees. The banks will never get their money back with increased business. this way.
    “Went to the bank to day to get some cash out.”
    “Oh… so…”
    “Oh it’s lovely there now! Flowers and nice counters and you should see the withdrawal and deposit forms! So chic.”
    “How long were you there?”
    “Ten minutes.”
    “So, ten minutes a week. You’re prepared to pay through your nose for ten minutes of flash paperwork?”
    “Well, when you put it like that…”

  5. johanna

    “baking in Customer Journey Frameworks” as part of a job description. Cripes. They have been watching too much Masterchef.

    How on earth can The Onion, the Betoota Advocate et al stay in business in the face of this kind of competition?

    And, how embarrassment for any of the remaining adults employed by the bank.

  6. DM OF WA

    Nonsense. The language used in this advert is universal and not specific to Australian banks: it is the language of modern managerialism. This language spoken everywhere you find MBAs, that is in every big corporation in the English speaking world.

    On the subject of the Australian banks: this is one of the most highly regulated and highly privileged industries in the country. They are too big to fail and consequently they operate in a risk free and competition free environment courtesy of the Australian taxpayer. They owe the taxpayer big time for saving their skins and granting them their licence to print money. But our reward is them taking full advantage of their dominant position to abuse us. When did they ever refuse taxpayer assistance or oppose protectionist bank regulation?

    Ideally, from the point of view of a party that believes in capitalism, banking should be deregulated and foreign competition encouraged. That was attempted in the eighties by Labor and failed dismally due to barriers to entry such as the difficulty of setting up branch networks. In the age of the Internet maybe it is time to try again. Or maybe it would be more politically popular to end the farce and nationalise the banks entirely.

  7. candy

    I always thought the RC into banks was not a bad idea, as it would have the top banking people responding to questions people want to know. Information sharing, finding out why people are not happy.
    A spotlight into problems, like the union RC. I’ve had a few gripes against my bank too.

    The bank bashing now and the levy I think is troublesome, because our successful banks are a steadying influence on the economy and it would be bad to jeopardise it all now, just for the LNP to get some Newspoll points up.
    Because that’s all the government’s bank bashing is about. Newspoll.

  8. Look, I’m not in favour of the new bank levy at all. It’s just another tax on ordinary Australians, and it’s yet another signal to foreign businesses that the government is willing to change the rules at the drop of a hat.

    But as to the banks thenselves? Fuck ’em. They’ re reaping what they’ve sowed.

    When conservative governments touted up badly needed IR and economic reforms, did the banks get involved in the conversation to help make the case?

    Nope.

    Instead, they spend every waking minute pushing every fashionable cause – including some that have put them directly at odds with government policy (same sex marriage, anyone?)

    They’ve even announced that they won’t do the job of banks and invest in badlyneeded industrial development – not because there’s no profit in it, but because it will make Leftists angry.

    The only friend in government banks have is the (allegedly) pro-business Liberals, and they keep shafting them.

    Now they’re crying foul.

    Fuck ’em. Brought it on themselves.

  9. duncanm

    You missed

    Balance the Journey stream

    Sounds like they had a corporate offsite at Nimbin for their “baking of the customer journey framework”

  10. True Aussie

    And yet I am reminded again of how great is to be self employed and not put up with corporate speak.

  11. Yon Toad

    This is the sort of bullshit that I get at work every flamin day. Replace “NAB” with “Insert the name of any major corporation” and you have business as it is run today. They’re all run by bloody virtue signalling plonkers. If I had a dollar for every freakin time I have received a “Wear a shirt tomorrow to show your support for ” from the local HR diversity management group, I wouldn’t need to work.

  12. closeapproximation

    Granted this job ad is written like shit, but…

    It’s basically just saying they want to hire someone to “pretend they’re a customer”. This is something large organisations should do more of.

    It is better than letting dysfunctional silos fester, spawning internal empires and all manner of shit that makes customer experience suck.

  13. Robbo

    I read the job description and I have no idea what they are talking about. It make me happy that I sacked the NAB as my banker about 8 years ago because, after about 40 years of banking with them, they did not seem to know the difference between their arse and their elbow when it came to running my accounts. I was a “real” customer and they stuffed me about so badly that I packed up and left them. Moving banks is a pain in the butt and takes a lot of planning and time. but I did it over a period of about two weeks. My last dealing with the NAB was to visit my local branch to pay the remaining tiny balance on my credit card and to close it down. The following day I received a phone call from a senior manager at NAB HQ who was concerned that I was closing my accounts and asking me to reconsider. Of course the horse had well and truly bolted but it does demonstrate that they had been totally unconcerned until the penny dropped that I was actually doing what I had told them I would do. The NAB, in fact all four of the major banks, need to understand that they need to treat their customers with respect, speed and professionalism. Forget all this new age bullshit of Strategic Design and get back to good personal service. It would be interesting to know if anyone at the big four knows what good personal service is.

  14. Shy Ted

    Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people are encouraged to think it’s bollocks as well.

  15. duncanm

    FMD… every part of that grates.

    You are someone who is driven by a desire to improve people’s lives through design, and is pragmatic about the how. Curious, optimistic and empathetic to finding the best methods, and value collaboration.

    Where do they even find people to write this shite ?

  16. I am Spartacus

    Where do they even find people to write this shite ?

    At NAB

  17. .

    Paying account fees and only getting 560 days of transactions?

    I do not find the process “human centred”. Nor does it work with accounting software particularly well.

  18. Aussiepundit

    The banks,. protected species as they are, have become enormous, inefficient bureaucracies.
    That job advertisement is a lovely illustration of the situation.

  19. RobK

    Is it illicit drug use that causes people to contort language so much?

  20. Squirrel

    They forgot the stuff about “affinity with marsupials” in the “About You” section.

    Just stop treating customers – whether borrowers, lenders or both – as idiots who have no real alternative, and save lots of money on bullshit jobs in the corporate bureaucracy.

  21. JohnA

    DM OF WA#2383003, posted on May 18, 2017, at 1:06 pm

    Nonsense. The language used in this advert is universal and not specific to Australian banks: it is the language of modern managerialism. This language spoken everywhere you find MBAs, that is in every big corporation in the English speaking world.

    Let us re-punctuate that:

    Nonsense, The Language: which is used in this advert is universal and not specific to Australian banks: it is the language of modern managerialism. This language is spoken everywhere you find MBAs, that is in every big corporation in the English-speaking world.”

  22. Jannie

    Truth in the old saying, what a mob of Merchant Bankers.

  23. buckshot

    Interesting that the “About You” section does not require the applicant to have any knowledge about banking.

  24. Anne

    Replace “NAB” with “Insert the name of any major corporation” and you have business as it is run today. They’re all run by bloody virtue signalling plonkers

    Sadly, Toad, I think it’s more serious than that.

    It’s not virtue signalling. That nonsense comes from powerless dummies at the bottom of the food chain.

    It’s more sinister.

    These examples are small, subtle pieces among thousands in a plan for global indoctrination and demoralisation of the people.

    It comes from the very top, the people who own the World Banks who own the MegaCorporations who own the Governments who rule over our lives.

  25. Sparkx

    Where do they even find people to write this shite ?

    Has Mike Trumble been moonlighting?

  26. KaaBee

    As an advertising copywriter cum marketing manager and then principal of a successful marketing communications group I used to flick through the corporate Position Vacant ads in the weekend press for a little amusement. Often I would read paragraphs out loud to my wife in disbelief, asking “who writes this cr*p?” Seems everything is different but everything is still much the same.

  27. john constantine

    Their shortfilth will hit and gut the Big Crony Banks with a royal commission, then grant his union super funds banking licences.

    Once cash is done away with and it is all electric signals, the big Crony Union Super Funds will have the captive clients and the financial critical mass to go into full banking mode.

    The australian banking oligopoly is dead, long live the new australian banking/union super fund oligopoly.

  28. Tel

    Their shortfilth will hit and gut the Big Crony Banks with a royal commission, then grant his union super funds banking licences.

    These guys keep forgetting they are bad at this. I predict that even with captive clients the money will leak away mysteriously and the computer containing the records will vanish one day.

    On the other hand, it is one small step towards the unions being accountable for something.

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