Philippa Martyr: Potential Greatness™ Day – 15 September 2017

It’s here at last. The Turnbull government has had exactly as long as the Abbott government did to deliver its promised Potential Greatness.™

14 September 2015 seems like a long time ago, doesn’t it?  There I was in London, waking up surprisingly unsurprised to learn that Tony Abbott had been rolled as Prime Minister. ‘Who knew that Malcolm Turnbull could be such a sneaky, underhanded, white-anting, all-mouth-and-no-trousers narcissist?’ I asked rhetorically.

But in the wake of the defenestration, a lot of people said publicly that they didn’t think Turnbull was that bad. They spoke highly of his sex appeal, his suits, his business acumen, and his ability to poll. Above all, we were told, he is really One of Us on some Key Issues. He’s just waiting to make his move.

Thus the myth of Malcolm Turnbull, Closet Libertarian, was born. And what a persistent myth it was, to the point where heretics – those silly people who believe that past behaviour is the best predictor of future behaviour – were branded del-cons and Abbottistas. Del-cons were little better than Pauline Hanson voters; crusty and barnacled dead weights holding back the agile and innovative Turnbull Coalition Team (or TURNCOAT™ for short).

We saw some shameful public discourse from people who should have known better: Miranda Devine, Janet Albrechtsen, Nikki Savva, and our own Doomlord (most of whom are now humming a little tune and looking fixedly in the other direction). No matter how many times we said that Abbott had let us down, and that we didn’t want him back as Prime Minister, we were told over and over again that we did. We were also told that Malcolm was the way of the future, so put up and shut up.

Yet aside from his personality issues, Malcolm Turnbull came to the role of Prime Minister on a very obvious record of under-achievement. He was beclowned by Godwin Grech, took away our lightbulbs, never laid a hand on Stephen Conroy or Greg Combet during the NBN debacle, bedded the ABC like Don Juan, and generally signalled in capital letters that he was a leftist inner-city trendy to his (non-existent) core.

Anyone who pointed this out was told to shush. Malcolm was different now. He was One of Us. He alone could save the Liberal Party from electoral annihilation. Turnbull’s subsequent fingernail parliamentary majority was frantically apologised away by his now over-invested cheer squad, who told us that Abbott’s leadership would have led to human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, and mass hysteria.

The TURNCOAT™ government has certainly produced some amazing achievements, ranging from regular and vindictive Cabinet purges to a lemonade-stand festival featuring Wyatt Roy. These have all contributed to its most extraordinary achievement: making the McMahon government look Churchillian.

Catsters were given the opportunity of nominating what would constitute signs of Potential Greatness,™ and we reviewed the government’s performance against these in March this year, to dismal effect. Most of Turnbull’s actual achievements were completions of work begun by the hated Abbott government. His own initiatives had a way of being bungled, withdrawn, or stillborn, disappearing conveniently from the public eye.

But I don’t want to be unfair. The people who I hold principally responsible for this state of affairs are Messrs Anthony Abbott and Joseph Hockey. Abbott promised us fiscally responsible conservative government – an Australia open for business – and was handed a massive mandate to do it. He and Hockey bungled it by chasing peripheral issues and bullying the cross-bench, consistently failing to acknowledge that they had a difficult Senate precisely because people were heartily sick of two almost identical major political parties.

Abbott and Hockey had plenty of chances to show that this time it was different, and that the Coalition was different. Their first Budget should have been a slash-and-burn one; it wasn’t. Until he owns up to this, there is no future for Tony Abbott as leader of the Liberal Party.

Malcolm Turnbull is a con-man who seduced some of the best conservative and libertarian minds in the country. He has delivered a Labor government without even going to an election. The only reason he still polls as preferred Prime Minister is that Bill Shorten has the charisma of an unpainted garden gnome. If Labor replace Shorten with someone else – anyone else – Turnbull is toast, and his own party room will smother him in caviar and eat him alive.

How was someone like Malcolm Turnbull ever allowed to become Prime Minister in the first place? It was probably the last nail in the Liberal Party’s coffin, and it remains to be seen if current State branch problems are death throes, or signs of recovery. Meanwhile the Australian Conservatives, emboldened by Turnbull’s failure, have now achieved fledgling stage. The present ideological wilderness has been a very testing time for conservatives in Australia; hopefully the coming electoral wilderness will be a relief by comparison.

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128 Responses to Philippa Martyr: Potential Greatness™ Day – 15 September 2017

  1. Fergus

    2 Stroke Turnbull, as effective as a toy leaf blower.

  2. A Lurker

    Well written Phillipa.

    I am ‘still’ waiting for our own esteemed Doomlord to crank out a series of daily posts (similar to the ones he wrote castigating Tony Abbott on his failure to reform or remove S18C) chastising the TURNCOAT™ government on further reducing our freedom of speech through these new plebiscite provisions.

  3. herodotus

    Excellent work. But zeroing in on Abbott and Hockey avoids the wider party complexion issues. They are not the only ones who created the confused narratives.

  4. Yes, there are about 50 reasons why the Liberal Party deserves to be toast.

  5. Entropy

    The influence of lobbyists in controlling factions in the liberal party shows how hollow the liberal party, heck probably all political parties, are so hollowed out and m,emptying of members they are vulnerable to power hungry narcissists that have goals completely different to the parties’ charters.

    These lobbyists have installed their troops in safe seats, troops that are not there for the good of the country.

    See Pyne, Christopher; Zimmerman, Trent, etc etc.

  6. John64

    An excellent post Dr Martyr. It is important to start Potential Greatness Day™ with a smile on one’s face.

    If this doesn’t lure a certain Professor Davison out of his boltholt to issue a frank mea culpa, nothing will.

  7. Just Interested

    I am ‘still’ waiting for our own esteemed Doomlord to crank out a series of daily posts (similar to the ones he wrote castigating Tony Abbott on his failure to reform or remove S18C) chastising the TURNCOAT™ government on further reducing our freedom of speech through these new plebiscite provisions

    Yes, where is the outrage from the IPA and the like about the insertion of 18C on steroids?

    Strong post on their website perhaps?

  8. dauf

    Article sums up Turnbull perfectly and covers what was pretty obvious from day one….But, how to fix Australia? What options are there that can actually make a difference between Bill and Malcolm the useless?

    Despair or just hope that a long drawn out process of alternatives will eventually work?

  9. Peter Castieau

    Beautifully described Philippa.

    People of all persuasions should abandon the political establishment of Labor and Labor-lite if this country is to return to its former glory.

    I would urge all Cats to seriously consider joining a political party that could potentially break this nexus. Philippa and I have!

  10. John Constantine

    What is the difference between the bally old turnditherer’s waxen image in Madame Tussards, and his parlimentary performance?.

    Watching an entire country, an entire that culture that could have been, just peter out while the political class slithers away to count and recount the hundreds of dollars of used notes paid to them in brown paper bags to enable the dithering, feeble and waxen turnfailure to declare that next election he will get out of bed earlier and let the electorate see the real malcom.

    Knitting a kangaroo, banning two-stroke garden tools, while the giant legacy baseload machines that power the country slowly wear out, and the country despairingly lapses into genteel poverty.

    Their redfilth gillard could come out of retirement and flog him, kevni ruddfilth must have paid for focus group testing to see how crushing a defeat he could inflict on the turnbull coalition team.

    Bernie Sanders could beat him.

  11. min

    Malcolm well exposed Phillippa, however my experience with him goes back to HIH days when he waffled around then.
    These days he reminds me of how cunning sociopaths learn how to act out appropriate emotions without actually feeling them, in his case change his belief system to support coal. I just do not believe him let’s see if he walks the talk .
    Will he listen to that Green Import from NY who claims to have a solution to Liddell closure or to Vesey when he returns from meeting with Al Gore? Who employed these people ? Remember also all the Greems he has in his office.
    Cognitive dissonance galore I suspect.

  12. Philippa Martyr

    Yes, where is the outrage from the IPA and the like about the insertion of 18C on steroids?

    Strong post on their website perhaps?

    They got a media release out before the end of that day, condemning it.

  13. Myrddin Seren

    The only reason he still polls as preferred Prime Minister is that Bill Shorten has the charisma of an unpainted garden gnome.

    I think this analogy is unfair to unpainted garden gnomes.

  14. Chris M

    Excellent summary Philippa!

    But I think the boss still likes Turncoat…. or is it anyone but Abbott?

  15. Robbo

    A good summing up of shifty incompetent Malcolm. He is, however, blessed that he is surrounded by Abbott on one side and Shorten on the other. That duo have allowed Turnbull to slither along because neither is a viable alternative. Perhaps one day a lightning bolt will strike the denizens of the Liberal and Labor party rooms and they will elect new leaders that have a modicum of competence and acceptability. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. Ooh look, I just saw a cow jumping over the moon.

  16. John Constantine

    Their hildebeast filth-clinton could beat the turnditherer.

  17. Siltstone

    and to think 54 Liberal dopes voted for a drongo like Mr Potential Greatness™

  18. C.L.

    Worse than Gillard. Worse than Rudd. Worse than Whitlam. Worse than McMahon.

  19. Tom

    Absolutely brilliant analysis, Philippa. I’ve no doubt Turnbull is already the worst prime minister in Australian history. Apart from being incompetent, he is a political criminal who has destroyed the party he leads by turning it into the Green Merchant Banker Party presiding over the trashing of the economy by grant-mining crony capitalists.

    However, the fact that this was allowed to happens underlines that the Lieborals believe in nothing and can be hijacked by any marauding leftist promising the only thing they crave — popularity. Of course, that turned out to be an illusion as leftist governments are not only never popular, but dedicated by their nature to subverting the public interest.

    As a result, Australia’s wealth and success as a nation are in diabolical trouble as the only electoral alternative capable of forming government is the Liars — now an authoritarian, union-driven Stalinist hulk dedicated to destroying the free market and banning free speech.

    On current indications, the coming decade is going to be economic and political hell for this country. We have sleep-walked into a nightmare.

  20. Andrew

    Last 12 months had about +330,000 jerbs, continuing the massive jerbs boom that began on the day A666 repealed the WBCT.

    Cash666 tweeted that this was 4x the final year of the R-G-R disaster. (She forgot to mention who Gillard’s employment and IR minister was – I’m sure she will follow up with that.)

    But while it’s nice that they’re doing something, why am I only hearing about this NOW? Surely the time of the election would be the time to point out that the WBCT was followed by jerbs “growth” of only 110k and 80k and a soaring unemployment rate? Wouldn’t a sensible campaign have beaten the worst employment minister in history over the head with that? (hint: He’s still in the party somewhere…)

  21. duncanm

    Right on the money.

    Turnbull is toast if Shorten is replaced. Its ironic that the Unions are keeping Malcolm in his seat.

  22. areff

    A rather large quarterly bill from AGL prompts a Quadrant Essential Reading item and YouTube search for footage of the current PM explaining why getting slugged $940 to stay warm in a Melbourne winter is a “moral obligation”.

  23. Rabz

    Two years, bluddee hell, it’s felt like two decades.

  24. Andrew

    Perhaps one day a lightning bolt will strike the denizens of the Liberal and Labor party rooms and they will elect new leaders that have a modicum of competence and acceptability.

    Like who?

    Realistically, if Mal wanted to “spend more time with his family” the only option is Bitchop. What else is there with ANY ministerial experience to speak of? Hastie and Taylor seem like nice kids, but Hastie won’t be in parliament in 2 years and Taylor has no experience at all (although the bloodbath will be bigly enough that he might be LOTO by default).

    On the Corrupt Yoonyun Official side, Blabbersac?? Wong?? (see his performance as Finance Minister with the Goose, let alone his other inept displays – perhaps the worst minister in history). The Member for Thai Brothels?? Who else is there – the Goose?? These people are just appalling garbage.

  25. Mother Lode

    his sex appeal, his suits

    Sex appeal?

    Yes, he probably should hold one – although I won’t be donating.

    His suits are likely bespoke, and they seem well constructed, but they seem nevertheless to hang on him as if bored with the job. Sod it, Turnbull’s whole face looks like it doesn’t want to be there.

    By comparison, Abbott actually looks better in a suit – because he has a body shape.

  26. Pete of Freo

    Hey Pip, have you got Volumes 1 and 4 of Carroll’s “History of Christendom” ? I need them so that I can have stolen the whole set

  27. Chris

    Malcolm Turnbull is a con-man who seduced some of the best conservative and libertarian minds in the country. He has delivered a Labor government without even going to an election. The only reason he still polls as preferred Prime Minister is that Bill Shorten has the charisma of an unpainted garden gnome.

    Liberty quote.

    The whole damn post is a Liberty Quote.

  28. Atoms for Peace

    I signed up with the Australian Conservatives a few weeks ago. The house of reps will be salted earth for the LNP after the next election; best concentrate on the senate IMO.

  29. Philippa Martyr

    Hey Pip, have you got Volumes 1 and 4 of Carroll’s “History of Christendom” ? I need them so that I can have stolen the whole set

    A noble admission. But I could just buy you the missing volumes for your birthday?

  30. John L

    Potential greatness:
    Turnbull and his government are almost as effective and useful as an ashtray on the motorbike.
    When they achieve effectiveness and usefulness of the ashtray on the motorbike, they have achieved the “potential greatness”

  31. Dr Faustus

    If Labor replace Shorten with someone else – anyone else – Turnbull is toast, and his own party room will smother him in caviar and eat him alive.

    This is certainly true, but the AWU requires their appointee to be Prime Minister, because entrenchment and enrichment.

    The existential struggle between Turnbull and Abbott suits the union movement just fine. The only way Shorten will be fed into the mincer is if the 2PP polls fall back within statistical error of 50:50.

    The lamps are going out all over Australia – in figurative and literal ways.

  32. H B Bear

    Hopefully Lord Waffleworth’s one lasting achievement will be the complete destruction of the Lieboral Party.

  33. thefrolickingmole

    I disagree, Mal has been the Greens/ALPs most successful double agent ever.
    Imagine not even having to be elected to have your policies implemented.

  34. Motelier

    Philippa,

    Niccceee 😍.

    While you are partially correct (IMHO) that the finger of blame should also be pointed at Abbott and Hockey, blame must also be sheeted home to the members on tye ground of tge Liberal Party.

    That they can nominate Pyne, Brandis etal shows that the majority of financial voting members of the Liberals are deficient in conservative values.

    Hence the term that gets banded out here.

    Stupid Fvcking Liberals

    The problem will only fix itself with a massive rout of all sitting members and financial decimation of the Liberals and associates.

  35. manalive

    ‘Who knew that Malcolm Turnbull could be such a sneaky, underhanded, white-anting, all-mouth-and-no-trousers narcissist?’

    The body language said it all to me and it’s Lucy who wears the pants IMO.

  36. Just Interested

    The News Limited tabloids have a two years to the day interview with Abbott. Not a bad read, even if bordering on hagiography.

    One of the more interesting paragraphs:

    In terms of policy, Abbott said it was a mistake to scrap the debt ceiling – a decision he says he took because he believed the conservative Senate would pass budget repair measures.

    These probably were the two biggest blues made.

    Scrapping the debt ceiling (for whatever reason) together with effectively accepting the ALP expenditure envelope for the foreseeable future (with the ‘big’ savings way out in the never never – a point Judith Sloan makes strongly and well) telegraphed the view that there wasn’t really a ‘budget emergency’ (rhetoric they abandoned anyway when taking office), so somewhat destroying the point of the election of the Coalition – particularly when they adopted from the second budget on an overall goal of achieving ‘fairness’.

    The centre right will never out ‘fair’ the centre left.

    The second error was the construction of the Senate as ‘conservative’. Yes, before the new Senate was formed the pet shop canary was saying that Clive et al would be to the right of Gengis Khan; in the event they were to the left of Mao Tse Tung.

    Leaving aside Clive’s personal animus against the Queensland LNP, Abbott and the commentariat equated the social conservatism displayed by outward love Australian flags and Anzac Day etc and swearing at greenies et al as also embracing small government – ‘conservative’ in the American sense, I suppose.

    It took about two months of the life of the Senate to realise that they weren’t ‘conservative’ but communitarian – and very much in favour of transfer payments and government payments for ‘proper’ battling Australians.

    The tragedy for the country is that the Abbott Government simply shrugged their shoulders, didn’t push their case in the Senate (by yes, accepting defeat of a number of Bills and so forcing the next election as being a genuine choice affair) and left the vacuum filled by President Trunbull.

    The result is what we see today.

  37. H B Bear

    The one occasion the Real Lord Waffleworth was on full display was election night 2016 when the thin skinned, petulant narcissist finally emerged from his Point Piper bunker to lambast all Australians for their failure to reward him for his service to the nation and removing Tony Abbott as PM. After weeks of campaigning, often well into the afternoon, Australians had once again failed to recognise his genius and force of personality as Waffles evaporated the Coalition majority and fell over the line courtesy of the Nationals and the CFMEU installed puppet regime in Victoriastan.

  38. John Constantine

    The country has been skillfully herded into a kill-zone.

    “work the flanks, drive their compressed ranks straight up the throat of the Big Guns”

    The act of the left shutting down the next coal station will be symbolic of the medieval traitors throwing the city gates open under cover of darkness.

    Right now, the dithering turnbull coalition is proclaiming it has saved the Stalinists of the australian media from the market forces of willing buyers paying up for quality content.

    He has just mentioned the two year anniversary of his leadership.

    A great day for strong australian media voices.

    Mocking kylie singing the ‘locomotion’ in the nineties–in twenty odd years we have gone from this to a compliant, sold out balkanised, deindustrialised, de-electrified Stalinist gulag.

    [pay their fair share of tax]

  39. Senile Old Guy

    Superb post! And that is something I don’t say often.

  40. WolfmanOz

    Outstanding article . . . Although very depressing.

  41. I don’t like Shorten, but I absolutely despise Turnbull. Turnbull is representative of the rat that you see in every movie that involves a rat. Hopefully the comeuppance that the rat gets in these movies is what Turnbull receives.

  42. tgs

    Quality post, pretty hard to find anything to disagree with there.

    Best cat article in a while, imho.

  43. Bruce in WA

    Excellent analysis.

    Unfortunately.

  44. Myrddin Seren

    Motelier

    IF YOU ARE STILL LURKING

    You need to see this post and another from Bruce of Newcastle that preceded the linked post.

  45. DavidH

    Anyone who pointed this out was told to shush.

    Zis is KAOS, ve don’t shush here!

  46. Philippa Martyr

    Awww …you guys … [blush]

  47. old bloke

    This is a very depressing and a very true analysis of Turnbull and those useless idiots who gave him the job. What hope is there for Australia?

  48. Philippa Martyr

    The one occasion the Real Lord Waffleworth was on full display was election night 2016 when the thin skinned, petulant narcissist finally emerged from his Point Piper bunker to lambast all Australians for their failure to reward him for his service to the nation and removing Tony Abbott as PM. After weeks of campaigning, often well into the afternoon, Australians had once again failed to recognise his genius and force of personality as Waffles evaporated the Coalition majority and fell over the line courtesy of the Nationals and the CFMEU installed puppet regime in Victoriastan.

    I didn’t mention his shameful performance that evening, but I’m so glad you did.

    Bill Shorten responded like a man, I remember; in fact, another Turnbullian achievement was to make Bill Shorten look Churchillian on that election night.

  49. Philippa, Your writing oozes quality. Best post I have read at the cat.

    You should prepare for Bigotry Brandis* attempting to silence you.

    * AKA Trumble’s Dog

  50. Mother Lode

    In terms of policy, Abbott said it was a mistake to scrap the debt ceiling – a decision he says he took because he believed the conservative Senate would pass budget repair measures.

    Why would he have to scrap the debt ceiling if he thought he was going to get budget repair measures through?

  51. max

    Turnbull is able to slither on because of who we see on either side, yes.

    But there is another equally important influence. What is happening elsewhere ? The US and Europe are the beacons. Australia just turns toward those lights, dazzled, unable to turn away.

    Trump may resist but the mainstream – universities, the media, the Pope – are a chorus of scoffing condemnation.

    Trumble follows, he doesn’t lead.

  52. Jo Smyth

    Excellent article. Any ideas how we actually get rid and replace him with a true Liberal/conservative.

  53. Gab

    Fantastic post, Philippa! But one cannot say Turnbull hasn’t achieved anything during his 2 years. He’s introduced new taxes and has free speech by the throat via legislation. More Potential Greatness that I’m sure our beloved Doomlord would agree.

  54. Edward Moir

    Philippa, amusing as this discourse may be, it is alarming that anyone thinks Abbott had any claim on holding the job. He was an unmitigated policy and political disaster who was doing a great job of handing the country to the greaseball Shorten and a bunch of CFMEU=backed Daleks. Turnbull did not win the job. Abbott lost it.
    Which brings us to here. An honest appraisal would come down to this: what has Turnbull done? And what has Abbott done?
    On the first question, Turnbull has delivered Cabinet Government. That is, his policies are those of Cabinet and not his own flights of fancy (as per the Duke knighthood or PPL etc under Abbott’s “captain’s pick). There is no example where Turnbull’s personal preferences over-reach his Cabinet.
    One the second point, Abbott has been pathetic in his disruptions, his cheap point taking and his cynical pursuit of a Ministerial driver.
    In short, this is the Coalition Government at work. Not Turnbull alone. I’d encourage you to get involved either by attending branch meetings or by joining Cory’s party.

  55. Elizabeth (Lizzie) Beare

    Sod it, Turnbull’s whole face looks like it doesn’t want to be there.

    That anxiety around the eyes. Talk about a rabbit frozen in the headlights.
    He’s made a bloody awful mess and he doesn’t have a clue how to fix it.
    Here’s a clue, Mal. A zero Renewable Energy Target and some brand new coal-fired power stations.
    GO.

    Thanks for the excellent read, Philippa. That ‘unpainted garden gnome’ is just beautiful.

  56. Elizabeth (Lizzie) Beare

    Excellent article. Any ideas how we actually get rid and replace him with a true Liberal/conservative.

    Vote Australian Conservatives. Australia is heading for more coalitions, more dealing.

    Bringing Abbott back might save some of the furniture, but you are still stuck with left liberals peppered throughout the Party and Abbott’s proven inability to act decisively when in power.

  57. Norman Church

    How was someone like Malcolm Turnbull ever allowed to become Prime Minister in the first place?

    The core problem is a belief that somebody is unelectable unless he or she is lauded by the Borg of the Canberra Press Gallery and other virtue-signalling social[ist] justice tossers.

    In a poorly typed post on an earlier thread, I made the point that any non-leftist leader will be subjected to vicious and mindless vilification. This is an iron rule of politics. So, the Bush-haters, Howard-haters, Abbott-haters and Trump-haters of the world will be haters of the next non-leftist leader; come what may. [The current PM is not a leftist and so he gets a pass from odium.]

    Unfortunately, it is also the case that many take their social cues from what they hear in the media or from others with whom they are not prepared to disagree in public. So, casual slander and vilification of any non-leftist leader is also a dead certainty.

    The inevitable corollary is that for a non-leftist leader trying to be liked is both pointless and a major error, as other Cats have clearly articulated in earlier posts and posts on the earlier thread.

    Electoral success for any Right-of-Centre politician depends on whether he or she is respected by average punters in the pub rather than whether he or she is liked by doctors’ wives in the perfumed salons of the inner city.

    Moreover, in this context, one might as well be hanged for a sheep as for a lamb. If one is going to be hated for even minor departures from Marxist ideology, then what is the harm in not undertaking bold reforms that may well appeal to members of the public who might actually be prepared to vote for you. At worst, one will be recognised as a conviction politician, have pleased one’s base and rolled back the tide of leftist stupidity.

  58. How was someone like Malcolm Turnbull ever allowed to become Prime Minister in the first place?

    The same reason that a lot of people are unhappy with their motor vehicle purchase.

    Dodgy car salesmen.

  59. Senile Old Guy

    The core problem is a belief that somebody is unelectable unless he or she is lauded by the Borg of the Canberra Press Gallery and other virtue-signalling social[ist] justice tossers.

    Proved wrong by the election of Abbott in a landslide, despite him being bashed in the media every minute of the campaign. I do so wish people would stop making this demonstrably false claim.

    Conservative voters would not vote for Gillard, Rudd or Shorten. Only the swinging voters might consider it. And the swinging voters in marginal electorates (i.e. the elected MP is sitting on small margin) determine the outcome of the election. Conservative voters who don’t want to vote for Turnbull will go to one of the new conservative parties. Ultimately, however, in the lower house, their votes will go to whichever of the major party candidates they put second last.

    I am quietly confident that the “no” vote will higher than is predicted (assuming nothing dodgy is done) but probably not by enough to win.

  60. Cassie of Sydney

    Mal the Con is increasingly unhappy because he doesn’t want to be PM of little people, you can see it in his face, he is quite bewildered and miserable. He is paralysed because he cannot understand why the Australian public is not in love with him. Mal himself simply loathes and cannot relate to the average Australian. He will never campaign in marginal electorates because walking through malls is just not his shtick. Mal the Con is only happy when he is hobnobbing with the elites and having photo ops with the likes of Macron the poodle and Merkel, the destroyer of Germany. He conned the party into believing that because the inner city elites, Fairfax, ABC and so on “loved him”, that those votes will come the Libs way and will sway any election. I am sure his mantra with poodles such as Pyne, Payne, Bitchop and all the other 54 Liberal cretins was “don’t worry about the little people, they have no where else to go and will have to vote for me”. Well, this strategy on the part of Mal the Con, like everything he touches, failed miserably because these same people, whilst professing their love for Mal over the years would never vote for him and DID NOT vote for him in a fit. They voted as they always voted…..Labor or Green. Mal the Con’s behaviour on election night was a Freudian insight into his ignoble character. He was shocked that the average person rejected him. During the election campaign last year, Mal was missing in action in the marginals. Having said this, I still cannot absolve Tony Abbott for his uninspiring and pathetic time as PM and I believe his lacklustre performance gifted us Mal the Con. My vote now is permanently parked with the Australian Conservatives. I want to see the Liberal party destroyed, or at least on its knees begging for mercy.

  61. Speedbox

    Excellent post. Great read. And sadly, all true.

  62. C.L.

    Pip’s Potential Greatness theme/meme is one of the best ever in the Australian blogosphere.
    She is a treasure.

    ——————————————-

    IMO, if Anthony Albanese becomes Labor leader he will become the longest-serving prime minister since Howard. Only Turnbull is blocking him (because Turnbull is so bad that he’s sustaining Shorten’s 2PP).

  63. Slayer of Memes

    ‘Who knew that Malcolm Turnbull could be such a sneaky, underhanded, white-anting, all-mouth-and-no-trousers narcissist?’

    Certainly not Aussiepundit and our own Doomlord, that’s for sure.

    Anyone else with two functioning braincells and a memory of political happenings, on the other hand, saw this coming from the proverbial mile away…

  64. Megan

    Post of the year, Philippa. Beautifully summarised of everything I have held againstThe Usurper for the last two years. Useless to the power of a million.

  65. Slayer of Memes

    He’s introduced new taxes and has free speech by the throat via legislation. More Potential Greatness that I’m sure our beloved Doomlord would agree.

    Indeed Gab.

    The two most important things that had the Doomlord gushing over Malcontent Termite was that Lord Wafflesworth would not introduce new taxes, and was backing Leyonhjelm’s S18C repeal bill…

    How’s those two points working out for you so far, O Doomlord??

    Oh well… at least you’ll still have (the) Paris (Climate Accords)…..

  66. Yes Philippa, your expert marksmanship was in full display in this post, those fish in the barrel stood no chance. High scores from the Russian judge.

    I would like to see a post with a more constructive bent, though. How is your boy Cory going to fix things? How would you have done things differently with the Senate he was presented with? Or are you just here to snipe and destroy. Government by flamethrower sounds fun, but doesn’t tend to work.

  67. One of the measures of Mick Trumble is the people that he has appointed around him (as was the case with Abbott).
    Think Chrissy, Payne, Brandis, Sinodinos, Friesandburger …
    A cast from looney tunes.

    All the ingredients for another post from Philippa.

  68. Philippa Martyr

    Yes Philippa, your expert marksmanship was in full display in this post, those fish in the barrel stood no chance. High scores from the Russian judge.

    I would like to see a post with a more constructive bent, though. How is your boy Cory going to fix things? How would you have done things differently with the Senate he was presented with? Or are you just here to snipe and destroy. Government by flamethrower sounds fun, but doesn’t tend to work.

    mOnty me old china! Fancy meeting you here! I’m hugely flattered.

    I think for now I’m just here to snipe and destroy. Just like you at the Cat, except that this is what you do every day that you’re here!

    You and I have no interest in being in government; we just like making fun of people. But I’m honest enough to admit it. Plus I enjoy it hugely. I’ve been waiting for two years for this; it’s been the best slow burn for ages. (No one holds a grudge like a Scot).

  69. Philippa Martyr

    All the ingredients for another post from Philippa.

    No thanks poppet. I’m busy. But I enjoyed this one.

  70. Philippa Martyr

    Yes Philippa, your expert marksmanship was in full display in this post, those fish in the barrel stood no chance. High scores from the Russian judge.

    Isn’t he adorable? He’s been putting together that paragraph all morning. 🙂

  71. Dr Fred Lenin

    Sorry folks how could you expect “potential greatness ” in a bunch of political careerist tadpoles?failures from the crooked,aw trade .and crawling union crooks politics has become the home of the shifty,the maggots who could not even make a crust in real life . Turnbull life ts dotted with failures ,he failed as a lawyer ,he failed as a merchant banker with his mate whitlam two ,and the criminal Adler ,he failed with the mercury lamps. Creating a problem of disposal ,he fsiled as p]opposition leader couldn’t even match the psycholoh]gically damaged Rudd ,and the semi literate Giliard who slept her way to the top . No sorry this rabbit does not impress me one bit . Clean the bloody lot of them out and bring in sortition and legistlation by referenda , with voluntary voting and no preferences that will sti[uff the gangrene communusts .

  72. Art Vandelay

    Great post! The only part that I disagree with is:

    Malcolm Turnbull is a con-man who seduced some of the best conservative and libertarian minds in the country.

    The best? I think you’re being way too generous.

  73. Gab

    LOL Monty earns another THWACK.

  74. Philippa Martyr

    LOL Monty earns another THWACK.

    Not me, ducks.

    Just the sound of the rake hitting the forehead.

    Again.

  75. Philippa Martyr

    Malcolm Turnbull is a con-man who seduced some of the best conservative and libertarian minds in the country.

    Now, now. This has been one of the inexplicable things – Doomlord’s continued love affair with the man. But I do think it’s because Mal is a skilled con-artist, who never contradicts anyone he wants to schmooze.

    His capture of Doomlord was achieved by (my pet theories):

    1) pandering to his snobbery (Abbott and knighthoods? heavens to Murgatroyd; at least I, Malcolm, am smooth in public, and would never make you the laughing stock of your lefty mates);

    2) pandering to his intellectual vanity (listening intently to Sinc rattle on, and nodding at the right intervals, or even better, sending a flunky to tell Sinc that Mal really, really loves his stuff,, and would like to see more of him one day – that day unspecified);

    3) and finally, his justifiable dread of a return to ALP government (I, Malcolm, promise faithfully to be Not Tony Abbott for the rest of my life).

    Albrechtsen was acting under orders from high command, but the Nuremberg defence has never sat well with me.

    Miranda Devine backed the wrong horse, as we all do from time to time.

    Nikki Savva is utterly compromised by conflict of interest.

  76. cynical1

    On the Corrupt Yoonyun Official side, Blabbersac?? Wong?? (see his performance as Finance Minister with the Goose, let alone his other inept displays – perhaps the worst minister in history). The Member for Thai Brothels?? Who else is there – the Goose?? These people are just appalling garbage.

    But still slight better people than Tony Burka.

  77. mizaris

    Poor Halal Mal. He thought being PM would be lots of fun, hobnobbing with the big wigs, winning lots of facebook likes, tweeting amusingly, selfies, adoration…Mr Popular. But it’s all turned out wrong, it’s actually quite hard graft. And he doesn’t have either the physical or intellectual capacity for that.

    Pip, you have won the internet for today. Apoplectic with laughter. You’ve done this old dame a power of good.

  78. Art Vandelay

    Malcolm Turnbull is a con-man who seduced some of the best conservative and libertarian minds in the country.

    Don’t forget that most of these great minds favoured Hillary over Trump.

  79. Malcolm Turnbull is a con-man who seduced some of the best conservative and libertarian minds in the country.

    If you were seduced by Malcolm Turnbull then I would suggest you most certainly are not in possession of one of the best conservative and libertarian minds in the country.

    Those that supported the Turnbull coup should line up opposite those wanting Abbott to return and punch each other in the face repeatedly.

  80. Philippa Martyr

    Pip, you have won the internet for today. Apoplectic with laughter. You’ve done this old dame a power of good.

    No worries. PS Pete of Freo is hinting broadly about stealing volumes 1 and 4 of Warren Carroll’s history of Christendom. If you own them, make sure they are under lock and key.

  81. Philippa Martyr

    If you were seduced by Malcolm Turnbull then I would suggest you most certainly are not in possession of one of the best conservative and libertarian minds in the country.

    Love is a many-splendoured thing.

    Those that supported the Turnbull coup should line up opposite those wanting Abbott to return and punch each other in the face repeatedly.

    I agree.

  82. Philippa Martyr

    Pip’s Potential Greatness theme/meme is one of the best ever in the Australian blogosphere.
    She is a treasure.

    Awww … you guys … [again]

    Like I say, no one holds a grudge like a Scot.

    Doomlord is very good natured to let me have my 2 cents worth as well; don’t be too hard on him.

  83. Baldrick

    Excellent analysis of the leader of the Stupid.Fucking.Liberal.Party Philippa, but there are some other names to add alongside Malcolm for causing the death of the Libs:
    – Christopher Pyne
    – Kelly O’Dwyer
    – Scott Morrison
    – Julie Bishop
    – George Brandis
    – Arthur Sinodinos
    Honourable cockhead mentions go to:
    – Simon Birmingham
    – Steven Ciobo
    – Josh Freydenberg
    – Mitch Fifield
    – Concetta Fierravanti-Wells
    – Marise Payne

  84. I think for now I’m just here to snipe and destroy. Just like you at the Cat, except that this is what you do every day that you’re here!

    Not at all, Philippa. I am here to defend principles the Cat was founded upon, principles that the vast majority of Cats actively abhor: the free market, liberty and competition. Your boy Cory is a prime example of a crypto-socialist claiming to be conservative but in fact pandering to your base destructive impulses. He has no chance of getting anything positive done of consequence, because all that he stands for has already disappeared.

    Critiquing Turnbull is too easy. Making constructive, realistic suggestions to help whoever replaces him is much harder. Keep on taking the easy road if you like, but I’m not going to praise you for it.

  85. serene tiger

    Excellent article! Thank you!
    -.-
    Malcolm got a terrible surprise when he found out that he actually needs to work as a PM
    and it took him at least a year to recover. The second year was spent to learn “how to act out appropiate emotions without actually feeling them” (beautifully put!) The third year … can not bear to think about it – have to watch my blood-pressure …

  86. Pedro the Ignorant

    The third year … can not bear to think about it – have to watch my blood-pressure …

    There will not be a third year.

    I have pronounced Trumble’s Day of Doom as 30 September, right after the AFL Grand Final.

    Signs and portents abound.

  87. Damienski

    but there are some other names to add alongside Malcolm for causing the death of the Libs:

    That’s only twelve names Baldrick. Weren’t there 54 plotters on the most recent night of the long knives? Some of those 54 were punted when the election winning machine was last on glorious display, but there are plenty more that could be added to your list.

  88. Tom

    Doomlord is very good natured to let me have my 2 cents worth as well; don’t be too hard on him.

    Doomie’s legend will grow when he admits his mistake.

  89. Baldrick

    That’s only twelve names Baldrick.

    There were 54 indeed, but I don’t want to waste valuable pixels mentioning them all.
    Of the original 54 back-stabbers, only 35 remain. Check them out at the link.

  90. candy

    Our politicians live and die by Newspoll. Well, they brought it on themselves.

    If it goes 50:50, and anything can happen, then Bill Shorten will be under pressure to give way, even though he’s done a great job to reassemble their party after the mess Ms Gillard left.

    Who would replace him – T. Plibersek is very Left, very strident, very feminist, communicates in an abusive fashion.
    perhaps Chris Bowen -? he seems to have a likeable friendly disposition and seems like normal ordinary folk.

  91. Tim Neilson

    Your boy Cory is a prime example of a crypto-socialist claiming to be conservative

    Care to identify anything he’s done or said to justify that slur?

  92. Pedro the Ignorant

    Ivan Milat would be a better PM than peanut head or blabbersack.

  93. Boambee John

    m0nty at 1617

    Not at all, Philippa. I am here to defend principles the Cat was founded upon, principles that the vast majority of Cats actively abhor: the free market, liberty and competition.

    So says the self proclaimed leftist.

  94. Tom

    On current indications, the coming decade is going to be economic and political hell for this country. We have sleep-walked into a nightmare.

    I might add that the reason we are in the shit is that, as a nation, we don’t care about politics and just want to be left alone. That’s fine in benign environment, but not when a nihilist cancer like the 21st century left is gnawing away at our viability with the Marxist playbook developed over the first half of last century.

    We are in the shit because, in at first lampooning (through our tear-down humour) and now despising our politicians, we have created a crisis of national leadership, which we must now own.

  95. Philippa Martyr

    Keep on taking the easy road if you like, but I’m not going to praise you for it.

    lolz

  96. stackja

    Tom
    #2498528, posted on September 15, 2017 at 5:18 pm

    An economic suicide note; the electricity crisis
    Alan Jones talks to News Corp business writer Terry McCrann
    Download this podcast here

  97. egg_

    THWACK

    Is that the sound of Benjamin Law riding ‘bareback’ I hear?

  98. egg_

    How was someone like Malcolm Turnbull ever allowed to become Prime Minister in the first place?

    Those in marginal seats were trying to ‘save the furniture’ following Abbott’s almost immediate suicidal nosedive – unfortunately, Second Officer Turnbull turned out to be even more suicidal/maniacally narcissistic.

  99. Indigo

    Welcome back to these pages Phillipa. It’s been too long an absence, but worth waiting for this one.

  100. Makka

    But I don’t want to be unfair. The people who I hold principally responsible for this state of affairs are Messrs Anthony Abbott and Joseph Hockey. Abbott promised us fiscally responsible conservative government – an Australia open for business – and was handed a massive mandate to do it. He and Hockey bungled it by chasing peripheral issues and bullying the cross-bench, consistently failing to acknowledge that they had a difficult Senate precisely because people were heartily sick of two almost identical major political parties.

    Abbott and Hockey had plenty of chances to show that this time it was different, and that the Coalition was different. Their first Budget should have been a slash-and-burn one; it wasn’t. Until he owns up to this, there is no future for Tony Abbott as leader of the Liberal Party.

    So glad you zeroed in on this , Philippa. Great article and I heartily agree with all of it.

    The quicker we see the assured demise of the Liberal Party the better off Conservative politics will be.

  101. Damienski

    Of the original 54 back-stabbers, only 35 remain. Check them out at the link

    Thanks for the link. Clever of someone to include Wyatt Roy’s photograph from his school year-book.

  102. Muddy

    I might add that the reason we are in the shit is that, as a nation, we don’t care about politics and just want to be left alone. That’s fine in benign environment, but not when a nihilist cancer like the 21st century left is gnawing away at our viability with the Marxist playbook developed over the first half of last century.

    We are in the shit because, in at first lampooning (through our tear-down humour) and now despising our politicians, we have created a crisis of national leadership, which we must now own.

    ABSO-FECKING-LOOTLY.

  103. Muddy

    I want to see the Liberal party destroyed, or at least on its knees begging for mercy.

    No. No. NO! Mercy is how we got to this place of desperation. Hard, possibly unpopular, decisions must be made. No blindfolds, no last words, and the price of the bullet and wages of the firing squad and vulture-handlers will be billed to the estates of the deceased.

  104. Great post. Thank you Philippa.

    My enthusiam for an Abbott return was dampened today when re-reading the Tony Thomas Quadrant article Cheque Mates: Gillard, Bishop & Hillary.

    Here is a key paragraph:
    Whatever was in Julie Bishop’s mind, how did she get a tick from Abbott for such a huge gift ($140,000,000 of taxpayers funds) to Global Partnership for Education? Abbott had a huge PM’s Department precisely to alert him against doing dumb stuff. And if his office watchdog Peta Credlin was so astute and all-controlling, why didn’t Credlin raise a literal red flag?

    I’m afraid Philippa’s analysis of Tony is spot on.

  105. Cassie of Sydney

    Your boy Cory is a prime example of a crypto-socialist claiming to be conservative “. Goodness me, that is a bit of a stretch. Can you please provide some examples of his crypto-socialism? Cory might have his faults however in a socialist running competition I reckon Turdbull and BS would beat Cory by a mile.

  106. Makka

    Can you please provide some examples of his crypto-socialism?

    Ffs, don’t encourage the blathering mOron. It’s more than enough with his unsolicited drivel.

  107. Robber Baron

    Nicely written piece Philippa.

    The reign of Maol has served to highlight how little regard our politicians have for anyone that isn’t part of the elite in-crowd. His apalling leadership has also exposed the Liberal MPs who have no principles…l’m looking at you Pyne, Frydenberg et al. You two spring to mind because you are two of the most slippery and least trustworthy in Maol’s team. Dutton looks like Sir Thomas More in comparison.

    Maol is serving his purpose to enrage the electorate to scatter power to non-major parties.

    Keep going Maol…you destroyer of lives. You will fail and be discarded by your colleagues in the most humiliating fashion in political history. Your time will be brief.

  108. John Constantine

    Can’t have small business using a petrol generator to avoid the deindustrialising agenda, can we?.

    Signing the small engine surrender document was just closing a loophole

  109. candy

    Crypto-socialism means Monty is afraid that Cory will attract Old Labor, the forgotten ones politically, who might stick around to New Labor because tradition dies hard, but would not support SSM, perhaps go to church even, and don’t like Big Brother. And perhaps find Pauline Hanson and Cory Bernardi as more fitting their views.

    I wonder who of the Labor MPs don’t support SSM. There must be some, but they simply cannot express their opinions.

  110. Rob MW

    But I don’t want to be unfair.

    I do, make him do the ‘walk of atonement’ down Oxford St…….oh wait 🙂

  111. Philippa,
    probably the best post along with comments I have read on the Cat for long time, probably because I am in full agreement with it.

  112. DtjW

    Double. double toil & trouble,
    Fire burn & cauldron bubble:
    1. Fillet of fenny snake – (Tones the Inadequate)
    In the cauldron, boil & bake.
    2. Eye of Newt – (Mao-con) & 3. Toe of Frog – (Chrissey Paaahne)
    4. Wool of Bat – (Georgie boy) &
    5. Tongue of Dog – (no one has the loyalty of a dog in this pestilent breakfast)
    6. Adders Fork – (Julie) & 7. Blind Worms Sting – (Mathias)
    8. Lizards Leg – (Arfar Sinuous) & 9. Howlets Wing – (Frydemburgers)
    For a charm of powerful trouble,
    Like a hell breath, boil & bubble.

    TODAY’S LIBERAL PARTY RECIPE
    Australia – we’re swirling in it.

    There is ‘A Better Way’.

  113. Boambee John

    candy at 1943

    And perhaps find Pauline Hanson and Cory Bernardi as more fitting their views.

    One of the great lies of 1996 was that Pauline Hanson was elected with Liberal support.

    Oxley had long been a safe ALP seat, held by Bill Hayden for many years. La Hanson got in on the votes of disillusioned ALP supporters.

  114. Jo Smyth

    I could never understand the theory that some people think he is a good looking guy. I have never seen a flattering photo of him and some of the photos which accompany articles, are downright unflattering. He has always reminded me of Stan Laurel.

  115. egg_

    7. Blind Worms Sting – (Mathias)

    Give the man a cigar!

  116. Deplorable

    A rather large quarterly bill from AGL prompts a Quadrant Essential Reading item and YouTube search for footage of the current PM explaining why getting slugged $940 to stay warm in a Melbourne winter is a “moral obligation”.

    Despite the lies of Turnbull and especially Frydenberg claiming they have reduced the cost of electricity DOdo in Victoria have announced their second price rise this year raising the service charge by around 15% and the peak and off peak usage rate by around 15%. Nowc I may not be particularly bright but the letter stated “increase” not decrease. The lies being thrown around parliament are astonishing but I suppose if you have the support of Pyne Brandis Zimmerman and Dean you can’t say NO can you😁

  117. Crossie

    Malcolm Turnbull is a con-man who seduced some of the best conservative and libertarian minds in the country.

    How was someone like Malcolm Turnbull ever allowed to become Prime Minister in the first place?

    Mal was allowed to become PM because those best conservative and libertarian minds were such pushovers for his charms. They and Mal are all frauds in more ways than one.

    And yes, the Liberal Party should be allowed to wither away. There’s no way the electorate will trust them again.

  118. Megan

    Not at all, Philippa. I am here to defend principles the Cat was founded upon, principles that the vast majority of Cats actively abhor: the free market, liberty and competition.

    Well. that was my biggest laugh of the day. When words and behaviours don’t match you are in the knowing/doing gap. Don’t fall through it, Monty. It ‘s the fastest way to the Twilight Zone.

  119. Jeremy

    Philippa,
    Great analysis!
    The answer is that the Liberal party does not have enough real members.
    The political staff who are basically public servants who have not worked in the free enterprise system and don’t have a gut level understanding of it, are able by their sheer numbers and their club mentality, to ensure that their friends get pre-selected.
    Political staff must be forbidden to vote for or hold organisational positions.
    They have unfair advantages such as access to membership lists, attendance at political functions as part of their employment, and the political staff network which ensures they have the numbers when required.
    The structure at the moment rewards the political class for not getting real members by making their vote proportionally more effective.
    The Party needs to be re-structured so that staffers are rewarded for increasing the number of members rather than the opposite.

  120. Crossie

    My vote now is permanently parked with the Australian Conservatives. I want to see the Liberal party destroyed, or at least on its knees begging for mercy.

    Well said, Cassie. I’ve defected to AC as well and wish the Liberals a speedy end.

  121. Slayer of Memes

    I am here to defend principles the Cat was founded upon, principles that the vast majority of Cats actively abhor: the free market, liberty and competition.

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…

    You.
    Fat.
    Fucking.
    IDIOT.

  122. Crossie

    I could never understand the theory that some people think he is a good looking guy. I have never seen a flattering photo of him and some of the photos which accompany articles, are downright unflattering. He has always reminded me of Stan Laurel.

    Very true, he has not aged well.

  123. Harlequin Decline

    Philippa,

    An excellent post, well done.

  124. Cassie of Sydney

    Jo, I can see the physical similarity however I have to stress that Stan Laurel had the following traits….comic genius, talent, loyalty, dignity and decency…all traits that Mal the Con lack completely.

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