Who Cut the Cheese

In the late 1990s, Dr Spencer Johnson published a book called Who Moved My Cheese.  The book was a kind of self help book on dealing with change. In the book, there was (obviously) the cheese and there were 2 mice and 2 humans.

Yesterday, Australia’s beloved Prime Minister, the Hon. Malcolm Bligh Turnbull MP released his own treatise on change; a cabinet reshuffle.  In Prime Minister Turnbull’s treatise, there is also the cheese (tax dollars), but unlike the Who Moved My Cheese book, there are humans and there are rats. In honour of this, perhaps future cabinet reshuffles should be called Who Cut the Cheese. Here is a brief video of the response to the reshuffle.

Be that as it may, writing in the AFR this morning, Laura Tingle sifted through the reshuffle and picked the winners and the losers. Given the zero sum nature of politics, this seems a reasonable task. But perhaps Ms Tingle is looking at this from the wrong perspective.

Looking from the perspective of the members of parliament, perhaps her allocations might be fair and reasonable. The winners get more responsibilities and the losers less. But what about looking from the perspective of the citizen? From that angle, there are a couple where their “win” has arguably come at the expense of the citizen.

Case in point, the Hon. Craig Laundy MP, the former Assistant Minister for Industry, Innovation and Science and now/very soon to be Minister for Small & Family Business, Workplaces and Deregulation.

Naming Mr Laundy as Minister of anything to do with Business and Deregulation would be like naming Wayne Swan as Minister for Economic Literacy and Balanced Budgets or like naming Kevin Rudd as Minister for Self Reflection and Modesty.  Might look great on a business card or on embossed letter head, but otherwise a tad unbelievable.

This is the same Minister Laundy who, as member of a so called Liberal Party and government, is amazingly so wet, he can cause rain to fall in a desert.  This is the same Minister Laundy who, recently lamented the noticeable decline in businesses being established in Australia and offered up the following:

it is essential the government streamlines services that make it easier to set up and run new businesses.

Starting a business to Minister Laundy basically means registering a company and getting an ABN.  Actually attracting capital, running a business or making a profit?  OPP – other people’s problems.

High energy prices.  NBN.  High corporate taxes.  Complicated industrial relations system.  Close to the highest minimum wages in the world.  Nope.  15 minutes to get an ABN and presto!!

I don’t know about other Catallaxers, but Spartacus is feeling comfortable with the though of Craig Laundy being the Minister (Minister not Assistant Minister) for Small & Family Business, Workplaces and Deregulation.  Break out the champagne.

Who cut the cheese?  I wonder?

Follow I Am Spartacus on Twitter at @Ey_am_Spartacus

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44 Responses to Who Cut the Cheese

  1. Baldrick

    Craig Laundy is a cockhead of epic proportions and symbolises everything wrong with the Stupid.Fucking.Liberal.Party.

  2. cynical1

    Craig Laundy.

    Fat fucking parasite.

    Sack him? Disown him? Drown him?

    Only the Liberals…

  3. Deplorable

    Baldrick
    #2589163, posted on December 20, 2017 at 3:59 pm
    Craig Laundy is a cockhead of epic proportions and symbolises everything wrong with the Stupid.Fucking.Liberal.Party.

    You stole my exact words.

  4. cohenite

    laundy is also a pro-muslim apologist.

  5. Bruce of Newcastle

    future cabinet reshuffles should be called Who Cut the Cheese

    Here’s a picture of what a future LNP cabinet reshuffle will look like.
    Is that Mr Brandis who lost his piece of bread?

  6. John Bayley

    I thought we already had won the gold medal on the highest minimum wage.
    Must have happened around the time Bob Hawke eliminated child poverty (1990). /sarc

  7. Ian

    Craig Laundy is the Sam Dastiari of the Liberal Party. He is not only a Muslim apologist. This from a recent report by the Australia Tibet Council:

    “Of the many Chinese community members supporting Craig Laundy in the 2016 federal parliament elections, one stood out. Yang Dongdong, a Chinese businessman with close ties to the Chinese embassy, claimed to be Laundy’s “community adviser.”

    Yang is a member of the Overseas Committee of the All-China Federation of Returned Overseas Chinese and its subsidiary the Shanghai Federation of Returned Overseas Chinese. Like the ACPPRC, these groups are affiliates of China’s United Front Work Department.

    In 2008, as a key leader mobilising thousands of Chinese students and community members to welcome the Beijing Olympic Torch relay in Canberra, Yang told Chinese media that he would protect the torch from Tibetan protesters. Documents he submitted to the Overseas Committee of the All-China Federation of Returned Overseas Chinese showed he also organised the anti-Dalai Lama protests during his visit to Australia in 2015.

    In July 2015, when members of Sydney’s Tibetan community staged a protest at the local Chinese consulate, Yang announced on social media that Craig Laundy had issued a statement “strongly condemning the conduct of the thugs who attacked the Chinese consulate in Sydney.”

    In June 2017, the Australian Financial Review wrote the story, ‘Craig Laundy and the China Connection,’ which referred to the MP’s comment on the Tibetan protesters.

    In response to this, ATC launched an online petition, calling on Mr Laundy to meet with the Tibetans to hear their side of the Tibet story. The MP declined ATC’s request for a meeting and blamed the media for misquoting him.”

  8. Rabz

    Hey Peons!

    That Fat Gliberal F*ck is laughing at you.

    #foreignerswhores&quislings

  9. jupes

    With his skill set, the fat fuck should have been made Minister for Appeasement and Sharia Implementation.

  10. Speedbox

    How the f*ck do these people get elected? Or, how do they keep getting elected?

  11. Dr Fred Lenin

    Ideally turnbull should sack all his left wing commo mates ,leave the jobs open for real liberals then resign and piss off out of our lives , go and count your money in the Caymans comrade . We

  12. armchair spaceman

    Some very unfair characterisations of Laundy in the comments so far. He’s not THAT fat.

  13. Infidel Tiger 2.0 (Premium Content Subscribers Only)

    The Laundy family realised Craig was far too stupid for the family business so they got him into politics.

    Thanks a bunch.

  14. Confused Old Misfit

    The Liberal Party of Australia is nothing more or less than the right wing of the Labour Party of Australia.

  15. Confused Old Misfit

    Spaceman: He’s FAT! Not morbidly obese but FAT!

  16. Baldrick

    The Stupid.Fucking.Liberal.Party’s Craig Laundy and GetUp!

  17. Frank

    Impressive collection of chins.

  18. NuThink

    Is that a picture of Craig with a cheesy grin?

    @ Ian
    Now a lot of small businesses have gone to the wall over cheap Chinese imports. So it is appropriate that he is made the Minister to hasten the decline of local small industry. After all jobs exporting is now the major industry of this land.

    @Infidel
    Was the family business a proverbial Chinese Laundry?

  19. Makka

    The Stupid.Fucking.Liberal.Party’s Craig Laundy and GetUp!

    A bag of rocks has a higher IQ than Laundy.

  20. miltonf

    Surprised he got in last election. In ’13 there was still a lot of good will towards the LP brand- no matter who there put up.

  21. Bear Necessities

    His brother Stu is rooting Sophie Monk. Craig is the Minister for Small & Family Business, Workplaces and Deregulation.

    Which one would you choose?

  22. H B Bear

    IT nailed it. Laundy is the Lieborals idiot son, their own Joe Ludwig. So intellectually limited parliament is the only place to put him.

  23. Robber Baron

    I showed his photo to all the women of all ages and sizes here at the Christmas party. All said in various form of words that he is unfuckable.

  24. stackja

    Laundy hotels, family’s first hotel at the end of World War II; Laundy Hotels is one of the leading hotel groups within NSW. With over 20 venues including, function facilities, accommodation, bistro, bars and bottleshops.

    Liberal MP Craig Laundy and his wife Suzanne are off to an $8.282 million Hunters Hill riverfront home.

  25. Mak Siccar

    Sparty should have posted a trigger warning about that photo.

  26. entropy

    Turnbull could not care less about small family businesses. Laundry only sees them as the place to get his cream buns.

    That he is installed in what should be one of the key Cabinet posts tells you all you need about Therese arseholes. Just a less organised version of the ALP.

  27. Up The Workers!

    Given the magnitude of his own personal fortune, I am guessing that Prime Quisling Halal Mal – Shifty Nev Wrans’ Best Pal, wouldn’t let the bumbling fingers of Craig from the Laundry within a (Turn)bull’s roar of his own nest-egg.

    Taxpayers’ cash though – No Worries – even if the Minister is fitted with trainer wheels!

    Don’t be too negative about Mal’s Laundryman’s chances though – he could turn out surprisingly successful in the Small Business Portfolio. If he starts out with, say, B.H.P., I reckon he could probably transform that company into a small business before you can say “Wayne Swan – World’s Best Treasurer”…after all, Leftard business acumen has done precisely that with both Fauxfacts and with Slater & Gordon (share price currently all of 3.13 cents per share) being shining examples.

  28. Rob MW

    “………is amazingly so wet, he can cause rain to fall in a desert.”

    :)…….. careful ‘I Am’…. the source bottle doesn’t fall far from the table.

  29. Procrustes

    Moving past all the joliment at the fat fuck’s expense, what does this mean for the government’s treatment of deregulation? Is it still a weak branch in PM&C or has it been moved elsewhere? Turnbull seems to be taken with all this behavioural unit stuff – so even Liberal governments can mess with your daily lives. Turnbull should beef up the deregulation agenda, put someone strong and sensible in charge and drown the behavioural mob in Lake Burley Griffin.

  30. Up The Workers!

    “Who cut the cheese?”

    That is the thought that comes to my mind every single time I see a picture of Bob Katter’s face.

    Are you suggesting that it is Halal Mal’s Laundryman who puts that look on the Katter dial?

    Too many Mung Beans in his diet?

  31. entropy

    Turnbull seems to be taken with all this behavioural unit stuff

    Of course he is, all big government fans love that shit. It gives them a justification to play out their control fetishes.

  32. John Brumble

    “Who moved my cheese” has nothing to do with dealing with change at all. Instead it is simply a collection of vacuous pleasantries excusing middle-management justifying their position through pointless reshuffling and cronyism.

    Not a single message is worthwhile.

  33. Jimf

    Yep and I bet his old man forever thanks the powers that be that “the process” enabled him to build a hotel Empire! Nothing to do with smarts, hard work and risk at all hey? As an ex corporate who’s recently gone small business I can tell you IR law suffocation and landlord fiefdoms are what’s killing small Enterprise ( Sydney experience). On that point, good for Frank Lowy trousering $33b ( perfect
    sell timing btw,and he also started small) , but he and his like have been major contributors to the death of small Independent retailing in this country. Big anchor tenants like supermarkets massively subsidised by poor old little operators in terms of $ p/sq m.
    Anyway , back on topic , Laundry’s a privileged arsehole who obviously believes his own “done good” story.

  34. marcus classis

    Speedbox
    #2589245, posted on December 20, 2017 at 5:19 pm
    How the f*ck do these people get elected? Or, how do they keep getting elected?

    There’s no hunting season for them?

  35. Dan Dare

    entropy, please, spellchook I know, but Therese arsehole.
    Shudder .

  36. Motelier

    When will the Stupid Fuvking Liberals to the right thing and really piss off POTUS?

    That way, instead of being an ally we become the 51st state. It really is the only way out now.

  37. Mon

    So the story is that Craig got a spot in the Ministry with his background and Darren who has worked so hard getting the rail upgrade that is required between Melbourne and Albury to a place where it will happen. This is a redo on work that was done by the lowest tender who forgot to do the foundation to a standard of excellence. The first wet time, in places the clay pan came to the surface and there was one big mud pie, which meant no trains.

  38. Texas Jack

    Amazes me people think Turnbull reshuffling the deck chairs has anything to do with them winning or losing or the remotest to do with directions ahead for the good of the country. Tingle has to try and fill out the AFR with whatever chaff she can I guess, but us? Turnbull does one thing reasonable well. Clinging on to office while fucking everyone else.

  39. Alexi the Conservative Russian

    A classic case of Turncoat rewarding another bed wetter. I am saddened to say that too many of my fellow Reid electors voted for this poor excuse of a representative. He is lucky he has a father who made money for him. Better to put daddy in the role than this ‘minister’ who believes in the climate hoax thus supporting higher energy bills, higher population (more pub patrons for daddy), favouring Muslims to Christians and on and on. I could even put up with 3 years of Stalin, sorry Shorten just to get rid of this one.

  40. Texas Jack


    Turnbull does one thing reasonable well. Clinging on to office while fucking everyone else.

    Particularly those he brings closest….

  41. yarpos

    “High energy prices. NBN. High corporate taxes. Complicated industrial relations system”

    Funny, NBN listed without descriptors, but instantly understood. Not really the brand recognition they are looking for.

  42. Bela Bartok

    John Brumble
    #2589486, posted on December 20, 2017 at 9:53 pm

    Quite right.
    I worked at a large US IT company in the late 90s and all employees arrived at work one morning to find copies of this shitful attempt at philosophy on their desks.
    It was to soften us proles to accept the totally inane corporate redesign about to take place, which RIF’d thousands and created management overheads and ineptitude at a massive scale.
    The aim of this turd of a book was to excuse any stupid idea as ‘worthy ‘ and identify those who called out the stupidity to be ‘resistant to change’ and therefore The Other to be shunned.
    I hated that book for all it stood for.

  43. old bloke

    Laundy is the personification of everything that is wrong with the Liberal Party.

  44. Epictetus

    I also remember that book because in 2003 it was given to all managers in my medium -sized (100 person) Melbourne site to soften us up for layoffs dictated by our US corporate masters. I decided my cheese lay elsewhere and left before the axe descended. Bad memories.

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