A grasshopper’s view of an ancient fable

An ancient fable updated by Karabar on a previous thread. As he says: “This one is a little different. Two Different Versions. Two Different Morals.” First the original, then the modern.

OLD VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house, and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out.

MORAL OF THE OLD STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

That’s the story that we have been telling each other for 2500 years. Does it get told any more? Who knows, but that is how things look from the perspective of the ant. We now need to see things from the perspective of the grasshopper.

MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.

Their ABC, the Fairfax Press, Getup, and Crikey show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. Australia is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on ABC News with Sally Sara and Wendy Harmer along with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green.’ Fran Kelly sings Kumbaya with the Grasshopper and his mates at Breakfast on RN.

Getup stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the group singing, ‘We Shall Overcome.’

Then, Sarah Sea Patrol has the group kneel down to pray for the grasshopper’s sake. Jay Weatherill condemns the ant and blames Prime Minister Turnbull, former PM Tony Abbott, Josh Frydenberg, Eric Abetz, Kevin Andrews, George Christensen, and Craig Kelly for the Grasshopper’s’ plight.

Tony Burke and Bill Shorten explain in an interview with Sarah Ferguson that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the ALP and the Greens in the senate draft the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Queensland’s Palace Cook, and given to the grasshopper.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn’t maintain It.

The ant has disappeared in the Snowy Mountains never to be seen again.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize and ramshackle the once prosperous and peaceful neighbourhood.

The entire nation’s economy collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Be careful how you vote in the next election.

You may wish to pass this on to other ants, but don’t bother sending it on to any grasshoppers because they wouldn’t understand it, anyway.

AND THE STORY CONTINUES: from Ricky Gervais via mh in the comments this time involving mice.

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39 Responses to A grasshopper’s view of an ancient fable

  1. stackja

    What a criticism on poor downtrodden grasshoppers!

  2. Bruce of Newcastle

    Then the Greens eat the grasshopper, because ants taste bad and being smaller they have less effect upon global warming.

  3. Bela Bartok

    This is just rank Grasshopperphobia. Shame on you! Grasshoppers are the insects of peace!
    Don’t blame all grasshoppers for the actions of a few lone insects!
    To make amends, we must immediately import more grasshoppers and the ants must feed them to account for their irrational hatred. Grasshopper- culture must be embraced, taught in schools, and we must ignore any grasshopper-related violence because their culture is older and better than ours.
    Grasshoppers are ants too.
    And those who complain about horrible female wing mutilation as practiced by the grasshopper males need education from our ant-sisters who see nothing wrong.
    And when the inevitable lone grasshopper with a mental condition eats a few ants, it’s clear to see how the ants’ collective xenophobia caused it, and as atonement the ants must import more grasshoppers so they can build their own enclaves and set their own courts up to distribute grasshopper justice.

  4. Just Interested

    Rendition #45 of ‘the Libs are crap but shit the other mob’s worse’.

    Nuh. Just nuh.

    Sadly, the majors have the same broad world view; the only difference being the speed of the journey.

  5. Jo Smyth

    ‘Be careful how you vote in the next election.’ That is the theory Turnbull and even Tony Abbott are counting on. They will be sadly disappointed.

  6. H B Bear

    Jo Smyth – one of my political truisms is that no-one is unelectable. Even a union captured moral vacuum like Peanut Head.

  7. pst314

    “To make amends, we must immediately import more grasshoppers”

    In proper Progressive fashion, I’ll one-up you and declare that we must import more spiders.

  8. Leo G

    The hungry ants know where to find the nest of coachroaches that signaled the grasshoppers to become locusts.

  9. The ant should have told them he’s black.

  10. John Constantine

    Their turnbull has a press conference to assure all Australians that our grasshoppers are our strength.

    Further assures Australia of turnbullites unswerving devotion to all signed transnational conventions, binding Australia to mass importation of grasshoppers, in accordance to the resolution drafted by the Great Grasshopper voting block that branch stacks the united nations.

    Comrades, unwavering devotion is nonnegotiable.

    New Normal is Strength through Grasshopper importation.

    Debtfunded.

  11. John Constantine

    Our top level police appear in uniform to declare that grasshopper gangs do not exist, and if they did, then they are under represented in crime figures.

    The ease with which the State can find career police management to lie in uniform on camera to progress the agenda is our Strength.

  12. Speedbox

    The ant should have told them he’s black.

    With a disability. (such as a straight antennae rather than elbowed).

    Whether the disability is real or imagined, the various (ant)i-discrimination groups would jump to the ants defense because the ant has the right to self-expression and regardless, the ant may now identify as a female or gender fluid who can reproduce asexually if it feels like it.

  13. Art Vandelay

    Where’s the bit about the left wing Liberals enthusiastically supporting the ALP and Green’s views and the supposedly conservative Liberal MPs capitulating meekly?

  14. In Vietnam grasshoppers or crickets are harvested and fried in olive oil and lemongrass to make a delicious food – 75% protein. But again in Vietnam, they don’t have winter or “democracy”.

  15. cuckoo

    Later, when their ABC (Aphids and Bugs Collective) interviews a downtrodden grasshopper who keeps telling them how he’s doin’ it tough on welfare, the cameras have to be angled so as not to show his flatscreen tv, two-door fridge, Xbox, aircon, etc.

  16. gbees

    I see our glorious leader (sic) Lord Waffler hasn’t wasted any time flogging the dead horse, an Australian Republic. On the back of the homosexual (I refuse to call it gay) marriage plebiscite Mr. Turncoat is suggesting the way forward is to have first a plebiscite on whether or not Australians want a republic before going to a full blown referendum. Little does he realise that the reasons Australians won’t vote for a republic are:

    a. A republic gives way to much power to politicians;
    b. the reason for change has never been articulated;
    c. an appropriate model has never been proposed or described;
    d. our Constitution isn’t broken and we like it the way it is.

  17. mh

    MORAL OF THE STORY:

    Be careful how you vote in the next election.

    Yes! Vote Coalition and let them retrospectively steal your superannuation!

  18. mh

    The female NHS nurse I asked for came with stubble

    A woman who requested a female NHS nurse to perform her cervical smear test was “embarrassed and distressed” after a person with stubble and a deep voice summoned her for the intimate procedure.

    When the patient pointed out the mistake, the nurse replied: “My gender is not male. I’m a transsexual.”

    This weekend, the woman, who decided not to go ahead with the examination, said it was “weird where somebody says to you: ‘My gender is not male’ and you think: ‘Well, what does that even mean? You are clearly a man.’ ”…..

    MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Trump.

  19. Perth Trader

    Austs. voting system means that after a election only a Lib. or Lab. leader will become PM . All political party’s know this. Ants, grasshoppers or conservatives don’t matter, being PM does.

  20. Bruce

    Steve K:

    You are a bloody cheery optimist.

    This is Australia, remember.

  21. Chris M

    taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize and ramshackle the once prosperous and peaceful neighbourhood.

    Haha I get it, the dindu gangs in Melbourne.

    But the punchline remains a puzzle, in Australia can’t see voting making much difference with the uniparties on offer.

  22. Ballinger

    Hi gbees, may I sadly point out that your listed b, c and d were also applicable to SSM yet the people voted in favour. Does not provide comforting precedent.

  23. md

    gbees
    #2599101, posted on January 2, 2018 at 2:06 pm

    Little does he realise that the reasons Australians won’t vote for a republic are:
    a. A republic gives way to much power to politicians;
    b. the reason for change has never been articulated; (leftist hatred of our heritage)
    c. an appropriate model has never been proposed or described; (The fact of the matter is that nothing would change. It would just be a matter of politicians giving their mates a high-paid gig with a nice house and private jet.)
    d. our Constitution isn’t broken and we like it the way it is.

    The Left will keep hammering at this until they get their way, just like they keep hammering at constitutional recognition of local government. The teachers are working hard on each new generation of school children, feeding them banal cliches like, ‘Australia has to stand on its own two feet’, and so on.

    During the last referendum the republican vote split between the Left (and those harbouring Old-World hatreds), who wanted nothing to change except to remove the last vestiges of our heritage from our constitution, and the naive, who actually thought the whole thing had a purpose and therefore proposed a directly elected head of state. I will tell you now that there is absolutely no way on this earth that the Left (and the political ‘establishment’ for that matter) will allow us to elect the head of state. Why? Because under the constitution the governor general effectively has the power to appoint and sack governments and to veto legislation (royal assent). A change of name only in the constitution would mean a directly elected president would have these powers. Imagine that! A person WE elected and who is accountable directly to US having the power to sack governments and veto legislation. The Left and the establishment would NEVER allow this. Making a change to the constitution, other than a simple change of name of the head of state, would inevitably lead to the changes being interpreted by the high court at some later stage, and no-one can foresee what could come from that. So, the Left and the establishment will want to keep the appointment of the head of state tightly wrapped up in the mates network and make minimal changes to the constitution, which, of course, just proves that the whole thing serves absolutely no useful purpose – other than as an expression of the Left’s hatred of our heritage, of course.

  24. John Michelmore

    First a bill of rights, containing inalienable rights that the democratic mob rule cannot remove. Then maybe a republic. Both these will not happen while the political class want to control everything and have serfs that have rights that can be removed by a majority and/or minority, a postal survey and or ballot.

  25. Rabz

    cuckoo
    #2599098, posted on January 2, 2018 at 2:01 pm

    LOL. Gold.

  26. entropy

    The Modern Day Little Red Hen
    as told by Ronald Reagan

    Once upon a time, there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered some grains of wheat.
    She called her neighbors and said, “If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?”
    “Not I,” said the cow.
    “Not I,” said the duck.
    “Not I,” said the pig.
    “Not I,” said the goose.
    “Then I will,” said the little red hen, and she did.
    The wheat grew tall and ripened into golden grain. “Who will help me reap my wheat?” asked the little red hen.
    “Not I,” said the duck.
    “Out of my classification,” said the pig.
    “I’d lose my seniority,” said the cow.
    “I’d lose my unemployment compensation,” said the goose.
    “Then I will,” said the little red hen, and she did.
    At last it came time to bake the bread. “Who will help me bake the bread?” asked the little red hen.
    “That would be overtime for me,” said the cow.
    “I’d lose my welfare benefits,” said the duck.
    “I’m a dropout and never learned how,” said the pig.
    “If I’m to be the only helper, that’s discrimination,” said the goose.
    “Then I will,” said the little red hen.
    She baked five loaves and held them up for her neighbors to see. They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share.
    But the little red hen said, “No, I can eat the five loaves.”
    “Excess profits!” cried the cow.
    “Capitalist leech!” screamed the duck.
    “I demand equal rights!” yelled the goose.
    And the pig just grunted.
    And they painted “unfair” picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.
    When the government agent came, he said to the little red hen, “You must not be greedy.”
    “But I earned the bread,” said the little red hen.
    “Exactly,” said the agent. “That is the wonderful free enterprise system. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide their product with the idle.”
    And they lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, “I am grateful. I am grateful.”
    But her neighbors wondered why she never again baked any more bread.

  27. Be careful how you vote in the next election.

    That caution is usually followed by the explanation that its necessary to vote for the Turnbull Party or else you will get grasshopper hero Bill Shorten and then you will be really sorry.

    But the Turnbull Leadership Team are grasshoppers in the swarming phase, i.e. Locusts.

  28. egg_

    Then the Greens eat the grasshopper

    From previous, I told youse I’ll be herding locusts for the future diet ordered by our Green overlords – ants next!

  29. André M.

    Yeah, yeah, that’s the easy common case when you can blame it on the poorly.

    What is your wise moral advice for the rare corner case when the hapless individual is poorly for a reason that is no fault of their own? (No not even that one you’re thinking of right now, just assume there are one ore more contributing factors all of which the poor victim was incapable of altering.) Accidents, birth defects, being sued by the Human Rights Commission over a triviality, etc.

    Free market capitalism does not forbid acts of charity. But the Catallaxian answer to this problem almost certainly depends on the controversial moral proposition that it is wrong to force people to perform an act that would be considered morally right if it were unforced.
    The case for the affirmative: Ayn Rand, Milton Friedman, most Cats, and I guess me too.
    The case for the negative: The vast majority of the democratic populace who can vote themselves some of my charity.

    It’s only a small amount maaaate, you’ll never notice it’s goooone, what’s the issuuuue?

  30. Spring is coming

    The Ant was also forced to recognise Grasshoppers as the traditional owners of his land and pay a fee accordingly so they his protectors may build bollards for their ceremonial drive overs

  31. Texas Jack

    And only a few wide-eyed bugs in the queue at the building society down beside the pub noticed the super-expensive body art emblazoned on the Grasshoppers pronotum and spiricales when he went in to cash his umpteenth Centrelink cheque…

  32. classical_hero

    I’m sorry but we have to first have the Liberal Party destroyed before we can have change. If that means Australia goes into a recession or depression, then so be it. It’s from the ashes that we can take back our country. We need to destroy the idea that the government helps.

  33. Texas Jack

    I’m sorry but we have to first have the Liberal Party destroyed before we can have change.

    Amen to that. We may not have to wait too long. If Turnbull gears up the now simmering republic debate there won’t be much of a Turnbull Coalition outside of Point Piper to bother with. The QLD Nats will splinter. Barnaby won’t be able to control it. I’d think that’ll be a precursor to open warfare breaking out inside the Broad Church. It’ll be magnificent in its ugliness.

  34. Snoopy

    The Liberal Party is not valuable enough to cost the destruction of the nation in order to save it. Other parties will fill the void.

  35. Texas Jack

    The Liberal Party is not valuable enough to cost the destruction of the nation in order to save it. Other parties will fill the void…

    I agree, but as we’ve argued before there’s a fundamental scale problem that when mixed with the preferential voting problem means the Turnbull-Textor thesis about the right of the Liberal Party “not mattering” is largely right. Not enough conservative-leaning voters can be persuaded by people like me and Memory Vault that Donkey is a better candidate to deliver their last preference to. Thus it’s super hard for others to “fill the void” in the only place it matters – the floor of the House.

    Do all the Liberals who cling to the Broad Church notion still believe in it for real, or is it just the euphemistic way of not offending parliamentary colleagues? I suspect its the latter and the party really is over. The Turnbull-Photios-Greiner wing have almost nothing in common with their conservative members and have shown their conservative parliamentary colleagues outright contempt. The path forward would be best if Liberal Conservatives grew some balls and walked en-masse to Bernardi. Done on a single day and without a shred of remorse the issue of scale would be overcome, a new inspiring entity formed, an electorally robust and well-founded party created. The days of the Broad Church con would be over.

  36. Little does he realise that the reasons Australians won’t vote for a republic are:

    It needs a victim to carry it across the line. It will be linked somehow to the disgrace of Australia Day.
    /sarc

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