Guest post: Muddy Napalm Furballs

I’ve been thinking for some time about shamelessly appropriating and ‘tweaking’ Tim Blair’s annual Frightbat of the Year Award. Cat commenters would be able to nominate star performers for a select number of categories, and then vote for them later in the year if the novelty value of the idea has not worn off by then.

Categories might include economics, science, politics, social and cultural vandalism, etc. The eventual winners would be theoretically awarded a Napalm Furball for, for example, The Most Presentable Political Corpse, Advancing the Cause of Women, or Promoting Community Harmony.

Except for a possible Cat Comment of the Year Award (I may regret suggesting that), both categories and nominees must be so dripping with sarcasm that even a non-gang-related Melbadishu (h/t ?) souvenir spoon wouldn’t touch them.

To keep track of potential pearlers, we’d need a nominations update every couple of months, to be collated as the year withers.

What do Cats think of the idea? Essentially, it’s another means of both retaking control of our language, and focusing an x-ray machine on the propaganda of our self-appointed feral elite.

If you believe the concept is both desirable and practical, please nominate potential broad categories, and more specific conditions. i.e. The Napalm Furball for Economic Prolapse Advocacy …

Nominations for individual or organisational recipients can be made later, once the categories have been nailed down. In the meantime, please keep a record of your favourites, and in particular, their specific words or actions will may help to ‘sell’ them.
Let the hacking and coughing begin.

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21 Responses to Guest post: Muddy Napalm Furballs

  1. struth

    Whatever category you chose I nominate Victoria Police.

    A really good idea.
    Mockery is our greatest weapon.
    Iit would bring a lot more attention to the blog.

  2. struth

    Invisible Islam Award.

    Awarded to bureaucrats who can’t see , hear or find Islam in any situation but can find Islamophobia quicker than a grant application form.

  3. Karabar

    The pointman blog has a contest for “Prat of the Year” which could serve as a model for what you propose.

    The winner this year is Malcolm Turnbull.

  4. The Banstubator – Prize for the biggest nanny state douchenozzle.

  5. Macspee

    Mental onanist of the year.
    Is there anything much worse that the sight and sound of the mental wanker parading before the world apparently oblivious to the fact they are actually on stage and can be seen and heard and that their antics are both embarrassing and distasteful. Can they not do it behind closed doors?
    Cats, no doubt, could reel off many mental onanists of many genders and besides the numerous brilliant social commentators from the ABC, the Guardian, Fairfax, et al, nominate politicians, economists, lawyers, psychologists and philosophers, who fit the bill nicely.

  6. vagabond

    A worthwhile subject of ridicule and candidate for some sort of loony award should be the letters to the editor that get published in the Age. It’s amazing that they can be taken seriously by anyone except their fellow Getup apparatchiks. That page is a refuge for the most deluded, misinformed, gullible and downright crazy people imaginable. They once published someone who claimed carbon was the devil’s element because each atom has 6 protons, 6 neutrons and 6 electrons. Today there’s someone else bleating proudly about Australia sitting alongside Saudi Arabia on the UN human rights council so we can protect the vulnerable and do something about Manus island.

    You couldn’t make this stuff up!

  7. Up The Workers!

    While walking through a crowded Western Suburbs shopping mall yesterday, I asked an unemployed M.T.S. “yoof” gang member, busily assisting several of his similarly unemployed mates (all of them out on 30 or 50 or 90 concurrent grants of parole or bail) in kicking a downed Police woman in the head, whether they have ever seen any signs at all of the possible existence of a competently-run Police Force in the dangerous A.L.P. Victoriastan slum.

    Their consensus answer was not only that they could find no evidence of the existence of any form of deterrent Police Force in ‘Mogadishu-by-the-Yarra’, but that the place is also totally bereft of a competent Judiciary or credible Government. It is barely even safe for racist anti-Australian thugs and Labor(sic)-imported bash-artistes, criminals and vandals any more.

    Any suggestion to the contrary, would be totally ‘raaaacist’!

    A.L.P. – ALWAYS Lenient to Perpetrators.

  8. It could be called the Nobble Awards, with categories for EcoNobble, SocioNobble, GenderNobble, NannyNobble, etc.

  9. thefrolickingmole

    The Grundies

    This one, awarded to the curtain twitching purse lipped hags (and male hags as well) who virtue signal their disapproval of people having fun.

    The story yesterday of the bloke hiking in the park being fined $300 would be a good example.

  10. Ubique

    Cat Comment of the Year? Silly idea. Infidel Tiger wins every time. May as well give IT the award on New Year’s Day.

  11. Rabz

    The Perfesser Dim Flummery Memorial Desal Plant Award for Settled Scientist of the Year.

  12. struth

    The Perfesser Dim Flummery Memorial Desal Plant Award for Settled Scientist of the Year.

    Ship o’ Fools Icelocked category…………………………………..

  13. Shy Ted

    I suggest the Noballs Appease Prize, awarded to politicians who should take to the opposition with a verbal cleaver but appease those who will predictably be outraged at whatever they argue. Gonna need a lot of prizes.

  14. Ooh Honey Honey

    Meh. First things first. Get us a “like” or “upvote/downvote” buttons on the Cat.

  15. Defender of the faith

    Perhaps a Trumped category for those who fall for fakery, film flam and rhetorical nonsense. A subset of which might be the Twit category for those who persist in issues new posts despite the fact that all the world can see the ignorance and stupidity of accumulating utterances.

  16. struth

    I suggest the Noballs Appease Prize, awarded to politicians who should take to the opposition with a verbal cleaver but appease those who will predictably be outraged at whatever they argue. Gonna need a lot of prizes.

    This has got to be a go-er.

    What a great name, and so many, many, many potential nominees.

  17. Muddy

    Thanks for the contributions so far.

    Here are my thoughts:
    Scratch the ‘Cat commenter of the year’ award. Nuf sed.

    While I appreciate the Noballs and similar suggestions, I believe we will have more credibility using mockery (h/t Struth) and humour rather than simple insults. I don’t object to insults, but I think they have more of a novelty value. Rather than title it an ‘Appeaser’ award, could it be something like ‘for the strident defence of…?” Sarcasm could trigger more conversation than a biting insult, much as the latter makes us feel good in the short term. Am I explaining that adequately?

    I fully believe that this or something similar, needs to be an integral part of our propaganda machine.

    The ‘furball’ part of the award title is a touch cheesy, but I chose it because apparently some of us are a bit feral, and we don’t matter. But you don’t expect us to hack out a napalm stream, do you? It suggests decisiveness, aggression, don’t firetruck with me!

    The actual categories will need to be limited, to perhaps no more than 10, and perhaps even a few less.

    I like the idea suggested above about including the media.

    Please keep it coming. This isn’t something I can do myself. I’d like us to own this and wear it like a badge.


  18. destroyer D69

    The Cantberra Fails….. for the most innovative thought bubble costing the country millions with no discernable evidence of the promised positive outcome.

  19. Gengis

    destroyer D69
    Very positive name and my nomination would certainly be the $60bn subs program to produce outdated technology when we could buy nuclear propulsed subs from America for half the price.

  20. a reader

    Got to be some kind of “SOupy award for the most racist statement made in defense of anti-racism.”

  21. destroyer D69

    The D.A.M awards (Defence Aquisition Myopia) For the dogged perseverence of defence material purchases in spite of obvious and irrefutable evidence in the field, and from experts with real and proven knowledge of the item that it will not be viable (code for Its a dog) Eg F35.. Tiger helicopter… Seasprite helicopter(the actual airframes that we spent millions on are now in uill service in New Zealand) down to the fact that many of our troops purchase personal items of kit at camping goods stores as the service equipment is useless.

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