Wayne Swan to retire

The world’s greatest Treasurer has finally decided it’s time to retire and has announced he won’t be contesting Lilley at the next election.

Wayne says he hopes that his seat goes to a young woman. Unfortunately Wayne waited so many years that many of the young women who could have replaced him are now old. If Wayne was so concerned about having a young woman in Lilley he could have retired years ago.

It seems that Wayne is both ageist and sexist. Does he expect the young woman who replaces him to serve a short time before she becomes middle aged? Is Lilley only open to women aged between 18 and 25?

About Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus

I'm a retired general who occasionally gets called back to save the republic before returning to my plough.
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40 Responses to Wayne Swan to retire

  1. Roger

    Is Lilley only open to women aged between 18 and 25?

    Of course not.

    Wayne’s preferred candidate is his daughter, Erinn, 33.

  2. Wal of Ipswich

    Do the voters in Lilley have any say in this?

  3. Jonesy

    ….dont let the door hit you on the way out!

  4. herodotus

    Heaven forbid that members of parliament should have a fair amount of life experience before going to that place.

  5. Rusty of Qld

    Fairdinkum, I’m starting to believe that we are a product of alien beings from somewhere way out in space and they were bored and on the piss one Saturday arvo, so had a game amongst themselves to see who could come up with the most utterly ridiculous pack of creatures that were so hopless they could barely survive!!!!
    Well the one who came up with the human being won hands down, hey Swannie!

  6. stackja

    ALP Honor roll
    Jim Cairns
    Paul Keating
    Wayne Swan

  7. stackja

    Rusty of Qld
    #2633209, posted on February 10, 2018 at 2:13 pm

    Genesis says someone did the creation. Then man met the snake.

  8. Neil

    Some advice from Wayne Swan that convinced Australia to vote for LABOR in 2007

  9. Chris M

    Surely it would be preferable to include mention of a non-binary candidate?

    Labor are so sexist.

  10. Up The Workers!

    I hope that the Labor(sic) Party’s legendary mathematical genius and “World’s Greatest Treasurer”, who gave Australia those 6 consecutive unforgettable massive Budget Surpluses, retires on a Golden Handshake of a healthy Parliamentary Super scheme surplus of MINUS $1.5 million (in the red, of course, as MOST of his numbers were).

    (Who cares about surpluses or deficits – it’s the VIBE that counts!)

    My all-time favourite Wayne Swan quote is:

    “There are only THREE types of people in this world: Those who CAN count, and those who CAN’T!”

  11. wal1957

    Just F*@k off!
    What a miserable, worthless bit of garbage this SOB is!

    I hope he chokes on his unworthy pension.

  12. Up The Workers!

    To Chris M at 2.34pm:

    “…non-binary candidates…”???

    Do you mean like idiots, pea-brains AND imbeciles?

  13. Shy Ted

    Wikipaedia says she’s “An accomplished actress, Erinn has appeared in many Brisbane based projects” and here she is in a scene from “The Australian economy after 6 years of my Dad”


  14. MichelLasouris

    I was beginning to think NOTHING would prise this Goose away from his comfy well paid job. So, this is something of a celebration really. Thank Goodness he’s going. Mind you he was always sooo unreliable that he might change his mind…..sorry if that disturbs your day! There’s nothing we can do about his obscenely large superannuation and pension ( oh….yes there is….but who wants to pull the trigger? All right ,calm down you lot! lets have a bullet… I mean “ballot’)

  15. MichelLasouris

    Just how does any person sit in the House of Representatives, absorb every conceivable observation of just how inept one was; not even blush, and sustain it for year on year? Well Swan did. He even squeaked up on occasion in a futile attempt to brush away the opprobrium…with out the slightest effect. Ya gotta conceded that Wayne Swan is stoic if nothing else. My guess is that he kept saying to himself “By the end of today that’ll be another $2000 in the Fund, and another$1500 on the Pension each week, so suck it up sunshine…..”

  16. Neil

    Some more tips from the worlds greatest Treasurer

  17. wilmot mather

    This man is surely Australia’s most incompetent Treasurer & its sad that taxpayers had to pay for that. In any private company, he would have been fired on the first day but sadly this is Labor, the party of incompetence & corruption.

  18. Y

    Total waste of space. How many far more deserving creatures – E. coli and the like – were robbed of oxygen by this utter cretin and vandal?

  19. yarpos

    I didnt realise he was still there clinging to the public teat.

    Did he have some years of service threshold to meet to maximise benefits or something?

  20. nemkat

    Labor are a moral to win next time, so he’ll never have a better chance to give his daughter a leg up into Club Fed.

  21. Neil


    The four years of surpluses I announce tonight are a powerful endorsement of the strength of our economy, resilience of our people, and success of our policies.

    In an uncertain and fast‑changing world, we walk tall — as a nation confidently living within its means.

    This Budget delivers a surplus this coming year, on time, as promised, and surpluses each year after that, strengthening over time.

    Wayne Swan 8/5/2012

  22. Waz

    Swanee should call Barnaby for a recommendation for a young woman who needs a job.

  23. Rob MW

    Is Lilley only open to women aged between 18 and 25?

    Probably not so much. It’ll be more open to pricks in Tutu.

  24. W Hogg

    Blabbersac put out a statement ending in “we are in his debt.”

  25. W Hogg

    Out of the collection of scumbags and criminals in the R-G-R grubiment, I believe I hate him most of all.

  26. buckshot

    Well listen to my story ’bout a woman named Ged
    Poor unionist barely kept her party red
    Then one day she was hunt’n for a goose,
    and up popped a Treasurer who was fiscally loose
    Deficits that is, BER, MRRT…

    Well the first thing you know unionists are millionaires
    The Goose then said lets move it on from there
    Said Can-berra is a fiscal soiree
    Deficits as far as the eye can see

    No wonder Ged now wants to join the party

  27. nemkat

    Retirement would also be consistent with ALP Policy, since Goose [b. 1953] turns 65 before the Election.
    Possible he waited till his daughter had the numbers before announcing.

  28. H B Bear

    The stupidest man to hold senior office in any Australian government in living memory. A truly limited individual.

  29. Cheryl

    His daughter , miss Medicare scare, will of course be gifted the seat such as the Palacechook.

  30. Up The Workers!

    As far as I am aware, the only Federal Labor(sic) pollie who possibly provided real employment specifically for women, was aspiring Labor(sic) Leader, Alwaysleazy, at his “True Thai Rub-and-Tuggery” in Marrickville.

  31. The Barking Toad

    Wayne is just a Lloyd Bridges

  32. The Barking Toad

    Word Association Football

  33. nemkat

    The Sunday Mail sez Goose’s replacement in Lilley is likely to be lawyer Anika Wells.

    Browsing the Wiki entry for former Federal & State ALP MP Dean Wells [lawyer], elicits no mention of family, apart from his Australian parents, who were in Hiroshima when Dean was born.
    Might be interesting to see how long ago the phrase Australian parents was added.

  34. Dr. Fred Lenin

    Good to see the idiot swan ,the krudsters former maaaate, following modern businesspractice ,you take over the company and with great gestures incur monstrous debts for a formerly solvent company then when you leave you tell everyone how we’ll you have done then retire glowing into a big payout and great pension for life . This goes to prove that even the self serving wankers in politics can copy their betters ,still. “Monkey see,monkey do” . Didn’t do as well as his former maaate Kev,who retired to live off his huge pension Supplemented with his share of the taxpayers money his wife got for finding jobs which didn’t exist for people who didn’t want them . And they say the African and Mideast countries are corrupt .

  35. nemkat

    Anika Wells is a lawyer in Maurice Blackburn’s Strathpine office.

    Anika is currently working on a number of claims for people injured at the offshore processing facilities in Nauru and Manus Island.

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