Spartacus has had enough. He has been taken advantage of for too many years and he has suffered trade deficits for far too long. Complaints to the regulators have fallen on deaf ears so now time has come to take the necessary action to put this to an end.
For far too long, Spartacus has run a significant trade deficit with Woolworths and Coles; not only for groceries but for petrol also.
Spartacus keeps buying things from Woolworths and Coles but they never buy anything from him. Those bastards even occasionally “dump” products in their stores meaning that Spartacus can buy groceries for less than he would normally. This is completely unsatisfactory.
Effective immediately, pursuant to SEO 1 (Spartacus Executive Order 1), Spartacus has declared a trade war on Woolworths and Coles. Hence forth, rather than buying quality and (relatively) well priced groceries from these trade cheaters, Spartacus will grow his own fruit, vegetables and meat. And rather than buying petrol, Spartacus will walk or otherwise ride his 2 wheeled chariot. Importantly also, when it comes to paper products, particularly of the toilet paper variety, well, the Fairfax papers will be used for their natural purpose.
Yes. Spartacus will have less leisure time, less disposable income and less grocery choice, but he will no longer have a trade deficit with Woolworths and Coles. This is a trade war Spartacus can win.
And if a sore “butt” comes to pass, what would be colonic damage. Sorry. Collateral damage.
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