The Regulator’s Bed

In Greek mythology, there was a character called Procrustes. Procrustes was one of the sons of Poseidon.

In this Greek myth, Procrustes offered a bed for the night to those who passed through his town on Mount Korydallos. But unbeknownst to the travelers, Procrustes was actually a bandit who took their money and then “modified” them so as they fit into his iron bed, the bed of Procrustes.

Those that were too tall for the bed had their legs cut to fit the bed. Those who were too short for the bed were “stretched” to fit into the bed. The aim of the game for Procrustes was to fleece those who passed of their money and to ensure that they were all of the the same height when he was done with them.

Is there a better metaphor for the contemporary regulator? Take the money off the businesses who come through, user charges of course, and then to torture them to ensure they are all as similar as possible.

The regulator’s dream is to have a single entity to regulate, but if that is not possible, to make sure all regulated entities look and behave as similar as possible. Competition. That’s for those sucker consumers. Regulators want standardisation.

But what about diversity you may ask. That’s necessary so as to have a diversity committee to get time away from actual work.

Procrustes bed or the Regulators bed. Myth or reality?

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11 Responses to The Regulator’s Bed

  1. Bruce of Newcastle

    Sounds like socialism – everyone forced into the same Mao suit, after which no one feels like being productive any more. And the only people who win are the elite Procrusteses on the top of the pile.

  2. NB

    Brilliant!
    Procrustes rules!

  3. 2dogs

    Definitely need to start labelling SJW issues such as the “Wage Gap” as procrustean.

  4. OneWorldGovernment

    ATO, DFAT, DET, ASIC, APRA, Treasury, PMC.

    They are all farquing mad.

  5. Procrustes

    Glad you have written wisely on my namesake, Sparty. I have used the monicker around the web for years for two reasons. Most prominently in irony. But also because I can be a bit picky.

    The mythical Procrustes met his demise at the hands of Theseus. I doubt that our overweening regulators will meet the same fate.

  6. 2dogs

    The mythical Procrustes met his demise at the hands of Theseus.

    Unlike Hercules, who defeated his foes through cleverness, Theseus generally vanquished his foes by using their own methods against them. Maybe that’s the approach to take with our modern version.

  7. Boambee John

    2dogs at 2044

    Go full Alinsky on them. As the Instapundit says, the left will not be happy living by the rules they have established.

  8. Procrustes

    2dogs – I like your thinking.

    Can we vote on what to do with Rod Sims? Drowned in his own smarminess?

  9. areff

    Thanks for this update on Bullfinch.

    I’d always thought procrustese was the harlot’s underpants.

  10. mareeS

    staying out of the regulators’ bed…

    We are doing our best to subvert regulators. Currently paying our son and his tradie mates cash for a renovation, weekly cash payments well under the ATO radar to each of them, for a good building price.

    We have no problems with the Black economy, it works.

    Sinc might also appreciate that the youngsters are plugged into chop-chop for smoking. Spouse and I are non-smokers, but can’t blame the kids when it’s $35 a pack over the counter.

    The kids give us all these tips for staying out of the regulators’ claws.

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