All is not well at the Sydney headquarters of the Australian Baking Corporation (ABC).
Having “carefully” adhered to its charter to prepare baked items of varying tastes and flavours for all Australians, the ABC’s management decided to make a single item – the vegan, gluten free kale and quinoa sugarless muffin.
In response to the rumblings of its customers, the customers that are forced buy the ABC’s products on threat of property confiscation or imprisonment, the ABC’s management decided to undertake some market analysis. And to ensure that the market analysis was unbiased, ABC management determined that they would assemble a focus group of wide and diverse representation.
Unlike previous ABC focus groups, this time the focus group would accept members of the Australian Greens who live outside the inner city of Sydney. As a first, the ABC focus group would accept representatives who were members of the Australian Greens but who lived outside the inner city of Sydney. And to ensure the methodological rigor and programmatic specificity, the ABC would engage the Australia Institute to provide unbiased quantitative research in support. ABC management was adamant that the focus groups should not look like an average Q&A audience.
Once convened, the focus group was asked about the quality and diversity of the ABC’s vegan, gluten free kale and quinoa sugarless muffin. The group expressed their displeasure. How could the ABC represent that they were truly diverse if they did not have a soy or a paleo version of their muffin?
In response to such harsh criticism, the Managing Director and Chief Baking Officer of the ABC responded that it was not possible to offer soy or paleo varieties because the most senior ABC bakers only worked 1 day per week. And it was hard enough to get them to work even that 1 day, so ABC management had to implement a bonus scheme, a scheme which currently costs $2.6 million per annum.
Sufficiently flustered at the focus group criticism, the Chief Baking Officer determined that the ABC would run a new program called “Let them Eat Kale” and this program would be supplemented with a marketing campaign on Google and Facebook for which a budget of $2 million would be allocated.
The Let them Eat Kale program would ensure diversity by offering options other than the flagship vegan, gluten free kale and quinoa sugarless muffin. Going forward, the ABC would also offer vegan, gluten free kale and quinoa sugarless protein balls, slices and quiche.
And so it passed, having introduced gluten free kale and quinoa sugarless protein balls, slices and quiche to its offering, the ABC declared that it was again and always in compliance with it diversity charter.
This just demonstrates that you can achieve diversity even though you are always using gluten free kale and quinoa ingredients.
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