Eyz on the Pryz

For anyone in remaining in doubt about the virtue of Brexit, consider this.

Europe is proposing a ban on single-use plastic items such as cutlery, straws and cotton buds in a bid to clean up the oceans.

So if you are in Europe and want a drinking straw, you need to hop on a plane and go to Switzerland or (one day) Britain.  But you won’t be able to eat on the plane because, for security reasons, only plastic cutlery has to be used.  Bugger!  Finger food and drinking from the bottle/can.

But let’s not kid ourselves.  What will plastic cutlery and straws be replaced with?  Paper straws and wooden cutlery.  And how do you make them?  By cutting down trees.

But trees are carbon sinks in the war against climate change so that means this proposed ban will lead to an increase in European carbon emissions.

Sacré bleu!  But the Paris Climate Accords.  What about those?  In addition to the new plastic remediation department within the European Commission.  There will also need to be a new adverse effects of new plastic remediation program department.  A 1 billion Euro budget and 5,000 staff for both should suffice.

But also, the global climate cabal of bureaucrats, diplomats and carbon carpetbaggers will have to have another conference.  Fuel up those high carbon emitting private jets and reserve those first class airfares.  Where is nice this time of year?

But that’s alright.  According to European Commission estimates:

these rules, once fully implemented in 2030, could cost businesses over €3 billion ($3.5 billion) per year. But they could also save consumers about €6.5 billion ($7.6 billion) per year, create 30,000 jobs, and avoid €22 billion ($25.6 billion) in environmental damage and cleanup costs.

Good luck with that.

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39 Responses to Eyz on the Pryz

  1. Zyconoclast

    Plastic cutlery will be rinsed in cold, recycled grey water, dried using recycled paper towels and then reused.

    Dare I say rinse and repeat.

  2. finger food

    Very amusing but sadly all too real. The Brits know which way is up. Brexit – get out while you can!

    Next the greens will issuing bibs so that when we eat food with our fingers we do not soil our clothes. How nice. But what will they be made of? Better yet, let’s live in caves so that we do not damage the environment.

    This is sadly the infantilisation and the anti-intellectualism promulgated by the power pundits.

  3. struth

    This has been proposed in Melbourne already.

  4. Tim Neilson

    these rules, once fully implemented in 2030, could cost businesses over €3 billion ($3.5 billion) per year. But they could also save consumers about €6.5 billion ($7.6 billion) per year, create 30,000 jobs, and avoid €22 billion ($25.6 billion) in environmental damage and cleanup costs.

    So it will create 30,000 jobs, but result in net savings of € 25.5 billion.

    Well it must be true or the EU bureaucrats would never have said it.

    If only we could think of a few more brilliant technological innovations like this one.

  5. manalive

    Next it will be mandatory to use both sides of toilet paper.

  6. Gerard

    Britain has already announced the ban. Latest report on plastics says 90% of ocean plastics come from 10 third world rivers. But it is the western world that is again being targeted. Another way of damaging western economies.

    No one mentions the UN MARPOL requirement that only recently has been changed requiring large ships to grind up their waste before sea disposal. Any guess as to where all these small bits of plastic come from?

    Now ships have to retain waste for land disposal.

  7. Ƶĩppʯ (ȊꞪꞨV)

    Just 10 rivers carry 90% of plastic polluting the oceans

    india china and africa are the primary polluters.

    But never miss an opportunity to trash western society.

  8. Turtle of WA

    95% of plastic in the ocean comes from 10 rivers, two in Africa and 8 in Asia. Western plastic bans are pure virtue signalling. Ask the average person what plastic is made from and they have no idea.

  9. Gerard

    Greenie maths. Saving more than it costs yet creating 30000 jobs. Mony must come from the money tree.

  10. Singleton Engineer

    Quite passable disposable and longer life cutlery made from bamboo, a member of the grass family, is already available in Australia and globally – examples, matched with cardboard plates, came with upmarket two-course meals at a wine & food festival I attended a couple of weeks back.

    Cotton buds need not have plastic stems: alternatives include timber, cardboard and bamboo.

    I know of no alternative to the plastic drinking straw, but is it really necessary?

    Plastic swizzle sticks are, again, able to be readily replaced by timber or bamboo.

    Cloth, washable ladies’ sanitary napkins are becoming common world-wide. https://www.daysforgirls.org/dfg-kits

    Paper and cardboard single-use cups are readily available at competitive prices and are said to have a lower environmental cradle-to-grave footprint than washed and re-used china mugs and cups.

    And so on and on.

    The trend is away from plastic. Each one of the above lays claim to being at least as affordable as current plastic products.

    Reduction in the volume of long-life plastic waste through use of compostable alternatives will reduce, over time, the amount of plastics on land, in rivers and in oceans.

    The EU’s new rules, as presented here, aren’t entirely silly.

  11. Dr Fred Lenin

    The 30,000 jobs will be public servants policing the new laws paid by the working taxpayers.
    Read where burning wood is subsidised in the UK , for every 100 you slender buying wood the pollies give you 160 of taxpayers money ,no responsible gangrene will abuse this will they ? The ulster government paid out so hush in refunds they’re are even more broke than usual .
    Just shows when lunatics are running things you end up with lunacy.

  12. Dr Fred Lenin

    Another suggestion we could use stone implements that would be in keeping with gangrene aspit-rations .

  13. Tim Neilson

    The trend is away from plastic.
    The EU’s new rules, as presented here, aren’t entirely silly.

    This reads like a renewable energy promo.

    The elite-approved products are just so much better for the consumer than the bogan products that we need to impose coercion to get them adopted. You know it makes sense.

  14. Caveman

    They have been making alot of these take away utensils from corn starch.
    I get where you coming from.

    Simple just to say the EU are a bunch of fukrs

  15. Mother Lode

    It is quite simple.

    The reason they ‘need’ to regulate is because they consider ordinary people are making the wrong choices. It would seem people prefer plastic.

    So our betters will decide how we spend out money.

    I suppose it is all part of the mindset: They don’t see their citizens as having any business making choices about how they spend money; Whether they they force us to pay for the approved cutlery, or they take the money as tax and pay for the approved cutlery.

    “All you dollars is belong to us!”

  16. Iampeter

    Brexit is only a virtue if the opportunity is used to create a rights protecting government, not a local version of Brussels.
    Since no one knows what the former even means and since the latter is what the Brits are getting then there is no virtue of Brexit.

    It’s a complete waste of time.

  17. Winston

    Singleton Engineer,

    Just like ‘renewable energy’, that all sounds awesome. Of course, if it really truly was wanted by people and was genuinely competitive on cost, then I wonder why you’d need to spend a fortune of tax money on legislation, regulatory authorities, enforcement and compliance? If it really is the case that ‘the trend is away from plastic’, wouldn’t it be genuinely silly to not simply let the free market simply sort it out by itself?

    Or could it possibly be that this is really all about carpetbagging after all?

  18. manalive:

    Next it will be mandatory to use both sides of toilet paper.

    There are six sides, boyo and don’t you forget it!

  19. JohnJJJ

    It just the next step,
    Eat with your right hand.
    Next no toilet paper. ( to save the environment of course)
    Then beards ( so not need for shaving equipment, for the environment)
    Then cloaks for all ( black for women to cover everything – then no make up, not extra clothes and white for men with a cloth for head, to save the environment)
    ……. I think you get the idea.

  20. Shy Ted

    I think being white and using a straw or plastic cutlery item is twice as bad.

  21. RobK

    There are six sides, boyo and don’t you forget it!
    ….and two ply, if you’re affluent.

  22. Tim;

    This reads like a renewable energy promo.

    The elite-approved products are just so much better for the consumer than the bogan products that we need to impose coercion to get them adopted. You know it makes sense.

    My bet is that Singleton Engineer works for the local council and has a Masters in EcoEngineering Planning and Statistical Evaluation of Feminine Evaluation from Mullumbimby TAFE.

  23. Caveman:

    They have been making a lot of these take away utensils from corn starch.

    Yeah let the poor buggers in Africa starve while we virtue signal with their daily supply of cornmeal.

  24. RobK;

    There are six sides, boyo and don’t you forget it!

    ….and two ply, if you’re affluent.

    Looxury!

  25. duncanm

    (Young) Singleton Engineer

    I know of no alternative to the plastic drinking straw, but is it really necessary?

    Waxed paper straws were quite common in my youth… and I don’t think I’m that old.

  26. Rohan

    But trees are carbon sinks in the war against climate change so that means this proposed ban will lead to an increase in European carbon emissions.

    Does Sparticus realise that if you plant new trees to replace those that are chopped down, they absorb more CO2 than established trees.

    However, plantation of low grade timber for such an endeavour is not that economically attractive. Planting for sawlogs for the likes of cladding and decking is where the real money lies.

    Now I awaits the backlash…

  27. Gerard

    This will make no difference to the oceans as over 90% of plastic comes from the third world rivers which will not be affected by this measure. But don’t let that stop you. EU Commissioners can enact law (it’s not the parliament’s job) based on little or no research. They then say that this is OK because they do the cost benefit study/review to check on any new regulation 10 years after they have implemented it.

    Note that this nonsense was supported by a TIME magazine cover picture of a sea horse holding a cotton bud. Photoshopped of course.

  28. Roger

    So if you are in Europe and want a drinking straw, you need to hop on a plane and go to…Britain.

    Not if Theresa May has her way.

  29. Gerard:

    Note that this nonsense was supported by a TIME magazine cover picture of a sea horse holding a cotton bud. Photoshopped of course.

    The camera doesn’t lie.
    Nor does Time magazine.
    The REAL issue here is just what the seahorse was doing with that cottonbud.
    Was it an ecofriendly cottonbud?
    Was the seahorse licenced to carry the cottonbud openly?
    Had the cottonbud been deactivated so it was no longer an assault cottonbud?
    So many questions!

  30. I forgot the most important question;
    Was it a used cottonbud?

  31. I was going to respond to the fvckwit enabler called Singleton Engineer, but my blood pressure is already high enough.

    Here’s the thing:-
    Life on this planet relies on the waste of other life.
    Microbes rely on the waste of animals and vegetation (compost ,fvckwit).
    Plants rely on animal waste (fertilizer, moron).
    Trees lining heavy traffic roadways are always more lush than trees further away. Trees love what we call pollution (CO2, idiot).
    Oil spills clean up naturally at astonishing speeds (astonishing to so called experts. Carbon is food, dick head).
    Particular specific species (called politicians, bureaucrats, technocrats and other sundry hangers-on and carpetbaggers) flourish greatly at the waste of hard working citizens (taxation, cock head).

    The blueprint was set at the Montreal Protocol where CFC’s were controlled to save the Ozone Layer donchano. That being wildly successful, then came CAGW to save the planet’s temperature. Next will be waterways and bodies of water (plastic in oceans to save turtles is a start).

    All of this has to do with making laws and regulations at the UN level. Soon no national, state or local governments will be able to make laws independent of UN dictats. That’s what Brexit was all about ffs.
    This has NOTHING…..NAH…..THING to do with pollution or the environment. The environment is fine, it’s the people who are fucked. (h/t George Carlin).

  32. W Hogg

    Since the benefits are so overwhelming, why wait till 2030?

  33. nemkat

    You’ve jumped the shark on this one.
    The plastics Industry has been taking the money and running ever since it started, now the Oceans are full of the shit. Time for it to be taxed so as to bring the Industries it fucked over back into being.
    Wax covered paper straws aren’t that long ago, neither are glass bottles, as recently as 30 years ago you could buy shoes with leather soles that were replaceable.
    Try finding that now. Worn down sole, throw the shit in the bin, spend more dosh on more shit made in a Chinese sweatshop.

  34. Ubique

    The regulations will have no effect. Eighty four percent of plastic in the oceans comes from Asia, most of it from China. The balance, or nearly all of it, comes from Africa. Only two percent comes from Europe and North America combined. It’s not a plastics problem, but a waste management problem. In countries without effective waste collection and disposal systems much of the waste ends up being washed into rivers and then carried out to sea. The EU could ban plastics altogether and still make no difference.

  35. Bushkid

    Cloth, washable ladies’ sanitary napkins are becoming common world-wide.

    Dear (presumably) MR Engineer, I’m guessing you’ve never had the “pleasure” of washing menstrual blood from fabric of any kind.

  36. Atoms for Peace

    I always love seeing the tumble weed shopping bags that star in anti plastic stories. It’s quite uncommon to see that in the real world.

  37. Atoms for Peace

    Let’s hope they ban those fake blood sanitary devices that some folk need as a crutch.

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