Here’s a question

CBA announced today that it would be paying a $700m fine to settle its case with Austrac.

Matt Comyn has ticked off another major item on his “to do” list of the legacy controversies he inherited, albeit at a cost of $702.5 million, or nearly twice that which Commonwealth Bank had budgeted and provided for.

Ok.  Some of that money will go to Austrac to cover its legal costs in the matter, perhaps the $2.5 million.  The rest, the $700 million will flow straight into the Treasury’s coffers.

Here’s a question.  What does the Commonwealth Government propose to do with the money?

The fine, or tax by other means, is the probably the largest such fine in Australia’s history and a $700 million single event “windfall” is also pretty big.

So Spartacus asks again.  What does the Commonwealth Government propose to do with the money?  Here are some options:

  1. Invest in a building the regulation revolution.
  2. Increased bonus pool for ABC staff
  3. Comm-Helicopters to go with the Comm-Cars
  4. NBN Mark 2 (A Commonwealth Government mobile and 5G wireless agency)
  5. Debt reduction

Number 5 above is a joke.  Least likely of the options offered.

Follow I Am Spartacus on Twitter at @Ey_am_Spartacus

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24 Responses to Here’s a question

  1. Bruce of Newcastle

    Pay welfare to ISIS terrorist sympathizers who sent money to Syria using CBA’s ATMs?

  2. Perhaps a more important question is ‘How is the Commonwealth Bank going to recoup that fine?’

    We know that the government will spend the windfall wisely.

  3. Delta A

    Bishop will say, “Pah! $700 million won’t make a dent in the level of debt. Lets’ spend the money on more hijab fashion parades, fancy parties and donations to dodgy dictators.”

  4. James Hargrave

    I adhere to the old idea that money has no smell. I deprecate the existences of Austrac and the whole regulatory/compliance culture that flows from what seems to be an obsession with money laundering – how much does it cost to monitor vast quantities of what are private transactions, most of which are legal and normal. And I do not see it as anyone’s business if I prefer cash in large quantities – and $10000, losing value on a daily basis, is not exactly large. Much the same with the concern that people ‘prove’ their identity: presumably, we are all thought to be terroristic drug-dealing pederasts with a sideline in prostitution, gun-running and ivory dealing.

    Infantilism.

  5. nemkat

    One of the consequences of easy credit, to wit: The banks have an interest in being able to locate everybody, just in case someone does a runner.
    Before BankCard started, you could walk into a bank and open a Savings Account, no questions asked.
    Ditto for a Learner’s Permit at a Police Station, and probably much else.

  6. dopey

    Increase prizemoney for the Stawell Gift.

  7. Dr Fred Lenin

    It could be used to re unite muslim and African gangsters with their culture ,back in their countries of birth ,we could clean the country right up with this programme . The change could be used to bribe turnbull and his comrades to emigrate to the countries aforementioned ,imagine Luce in a hijab and bish with a basket on her head ? Pyne would probably do both just for fun .

  8. John Constantine

    Announce an arts grant for any interpretive dance cooperatives that can provide visual counseling to cope with the trauma of Trumps victory.

  9. John Constantine

    Announce a series of arts grants for the decorating of our bollards with cheerful prodecolonialisation art.

    Our bollards are our strength.

    Comrades.

  10. Egor

    Alexander Downer will recommend it be donated to the Clinton Foundation like the last $25 million of other people’s money.

  11. ACTOldFart

    I feel a donation to the Clinton Foundation coming on

  12. OneWorldGovernment

    Just burn it in front of Parliament House.

    Chuck a windmill and a solar panel on top and then use some carbon based petrol to burn the useless money, windmills and solar panels to the ground.

    If anyone can get some foul coral from the GBR to throw on top then all the better.

  13. Chris M

    Fund ABC for a few months. Because value…

  14. Rossini

    Has Morrison a clue……………or is he just pandering to the liberal left!
    He has warned the CBA not to pass on this expense to bank customers…………Has he not heard of
    competition or is there none between the banks.
    But lets clip the shareholders, that plus the extra profits tax on bank profits….
    Vote for the opposition you say…….well there goes the excess franking credit…..Why save for a comfortable retirement I say……..

  15. max

    “CBA announced today that it would be paying a $700m fine to settle its case with Austrac.”

    the case of small Don vs Dig don:
    I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse

  16. Chris M

    Well the proper thing to do is build a new medium security wing with the money. Then pop all senior management in for a five year stint.

  17. Rob MW

    6. Increase the number of tree police to prosecute farmers profiting the Government
    7. Commission the CSIRO to innovate the notion that water will naturally run up-hill to produce electricity. An estimated $10.00 to be set aside to convince the left and the policy intellectuals of the goodness to the environment.
    8. Give it to Julie Bishop for a promise to fuck-off.
    9. Buy Mal a set of balls with the right one having the dickatorial brains.
    10. Send TA to the Trump University.

  18. Habib

    I’m hoping #3, we’re going to need them as there’s an awful lot of commies that need a good defenestration.

  19. Pete D.

    Well blow me down!! CBA is a mirror image of ABC. Does this mean overpaid and inept executives?

  20. Amadeus

    Ah, Morrison…living proof that an idiot occupies Treasury leather.

    I particularly like No.7…because it has the word “innovate” in it. Mal would go for that in a heartbeat…and add “agile”…his two favourite words.

    Bishop isn’t going anywhere…she’s only halfway through her 100 bucket list…

  21. Damienski

    Youse are all on the wrong track. Can’t see the wood for the trees. The Commonwealth shouldn’t spend the money on doing something. It should be agile and innovative and spend it on NOT doing something. For example I’m sure the government could find somehere to not build a road.

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