The world is watching you Jack Watts

Some years ago I was at an Essendon v Melbourne game and then Melbourne forward Jack Watts had a kick on goal. Some wit from the back shouted “The world is watching you Jack Watts”. The crowd laughed and then cheered as he missed the shot. A silly moment that somehow stuck in my mind and that I was reminded of as a result of the latest off-season “scandal” the engulf the AFL.

Port Adelaide forward Jack Watts has spoken for the first time since video surfaced off him sniffing a white powder from a woman’s breasts in plain sight in a packed room at a German beer festival.

Shocking. There is something to annoy everyone here. White powder and breasts. The horror, the horror.

But it gets worse.

“It’s clearly a legal tobacco based powder used widely at Oktoberfest.”

Dear God! Tobacco!

Actually no.

Wiesn koks (Oktoberfest cocaine), which is also known as Wiesn Pulver (powder) or Bavarian cocaine, has become locals’ pick-me-up of choice.

Essentially like snuff, Wiesn koks is made of glucose and menthol, and is sold in little glass bottles or Bavarian themed containers for almost $US6.

Despite looking like the real deal, Wiesn koks is harmless. Sure, you get a small sugar rush when it hits, and the menthol has a cooling, sinus-clearing effect, but that’s about it. Wiesn koks is entirely drug and tobacco free.

The outrage lobby can still play two-cards: cultural appropriation – behaving like a German at Oktoberfest, and perception of drug taking. This latter one is the “we-know-you-did-nothing-wrong-but others-might-think-you-did-so-we’re-going-to wack-anyway” coverall take down.

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12 Responses to The world is watching you Jack Watts

  1. stackja

    Harmless fun now verboten?

  2. Rebel with cause

    When did sports reporters become like Methodist wowsers? Who the hell cares what a barely was footballer like Jack Watts got up to on his holidays?

  3. Dr Fred Lenin

    Could have been worse , he could have been smoking a Cuban cigar ! Now there would be a real cause celebre to pile on him like a rugby scrum . He was probably pissed ,they used to retire footballers into a pub lease to cover their alcoholism aquired at footy training .

  4. So Trump is not the only victim of “fake news”.

  5. Sinclair Davidson

    We are all victims of fake news.

  6. duncanm

    Maybe they’re pissed because the powder, and/or breasts, weren’t screened before consumption.

    Mandatory breast inspections now!

  7. The outrage lobby can still play two-cards: cultural appropriation – behaving like a German at Oktoberfest, and perception of drug taking. This latter one is the “we-know-you-did-nothing-wrong-but others-might-think-you-did-so-we’re-going-to wack-anyway” coverall take down.

    Surely there’s an “exploitation of women” or at least “others-might-think-you-did” angle as well.

  8. Shy Ted

    Wiesn koks. Sums up the subjective and objective view of Oz politicians.

  9. TBH

    If young Jack was half as good at being a footballer as is he is at being a lad he’d be pretty decent. This is a nothing story.

  10. Robbo

    Watts is a footballer so don’t expect him to behave any differently from the others who play the game. I fully agree with TBH that this is a nothing story.

  11. Peter Greagg

    And to think Melbourne could have drafted Nic Nat instead of Watts LOL

  12. Justinian the Great

    It would be a tragedy if Watts was suspended for bringing the game into disrepute. The best outcome for opposition clubs is that Watts be forced to play!! Poor bugger is always criticised for lacking white line fever and when he finally gets some gets criticised for that to. Talk about can’t win.

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