Catallaxy Exlusive – New Labor Climate Policy

Continuing their policies of reducing Australia’s emissions, the ALP today announced their latest policy – a phase out of methane emitting cows to be replaced by electric cows.

Much like the ALP’s recent policy target of 50 per cent of new cars sold in Australia to be electric within 11 years, the ALP has set a target of 50 per cent of Australian cows to be electric within 11 years.

According to the Commonwealth Department of Agriculture, Direct livestock emissions account for around 10 per cent of Australia’s greenhouse gas emissions.  Moving towards a fully electronic livestock program will help Australia meet its emissions reduction targets.

ALP Environment spokesman, Mark Butler said:

This is a very important policy from the ALP.  It shows our commitment to climate action.  Under the ALP, the domestic economic and social consequences will always take a back seat to our commitments to the United Nations.

When asked about the impact on the domestic and international beef trade, Mr Butler re-iterated the projections of US Congresswoman, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez who warned that without radical action, the world was going to end in 12 years.  Mr Butler also noted the secondary benefits of the electric cow policy that it would help better manage the live cattle export compliance issues.

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23 Responses to Catallaxy Exlusive – New Labor Climate Policy

  1. Cardimona

    Search: “Did dinosaurs fart their way to extinction?”

    Compoota says nooo…

  2. Karabar

    A hyuuuge improvement could be made by phasing out CO2 emitting politicians and moving towards electric politicians. The main advantage is that they have a switch so that they can be turned off at the will of the listener when the BS starts to flow, which is the second they open their pie hole.

  3. When asked about the impact on the domestic and international beef trade

    Adaptor plugs to connect your electric cow overseas can be purchased at your local pharmacy.

  4. stackja

    ALP talking cow manure!

  5. struth

    It’s how this should all should have been approached years ago, tongue in cheek, a beef hooked attitude, as it may be described, the Labor’s foot in mouth fart policy direction.

  6. Dr Fred Lenin

    I always said it was a mistake closing the lunatic asylums and putting the inmates out in the community . I did not expect some of them to become career politicians ,but, it is evident they have .
    I dont remember the referendum giving all government powersand lawmaking to the unelected untdy nashuns fascists in New York.? We must do this because of a treay the career politicians signed with the u.n. ?
    when were we asked if we agreed to these stupid wrecking laws ? The answer of course is we were not asked therefore any laws made about this are moraly wrong . Only laws passed by referenda are legal that should be the new democracy ,not rule by edict of a bunch of corrupt gangsters .

  7. RobK

    Labor moves to cut emmissions in the construction industry. Its policy is to have fully electric erections by 2030.

  8. Crazyoldranga

    But do androids dream of electric sheep?

  9. Trax

    And they will still make us eat that darn electric bland meat while they continue to enjoy the juiciest real meat in the top restaurants.
    Let them eat the soy lab grown artificial meat raised like Frankenstein with electric pulses!

  10. Dr Fred Lenin

    Dear mr shorten
    I have a suggestion regarding the implementation of the Paris accod.
    Put the question to a referendum!This is true democracy which I am sure you support.
    May I suggest the referendum question is worded like this .
    Are you in favour of us obeying the otders of the unelected united nations to destroy our industry and power grid and make power too expensive fir the nirmal person to afford . .
    YES NO
    I am sure you wish to obey the wishes of the average Australian Voter.

  11. Elizabeth (Lizzie) Beare

    Yes. And once they are all electric, we could paint them. Think how pretty that could be. 🙂

  12. Elizabeth (Lizzie) Beare

    Labor moves to cut emmissions in the construction industry. Its policy is to have fully electric erections by 2030.

    Hmm. Battery powered? I think the s3x shops are already on to that. Subsidize them now! 🙂

  13. Elizabeth (Lizzie) Beare

    This is quite a jolly thread, isn’t it!

  14. duncanm

    Does tits support cobalt mining in the congo ?

  15. Tel

    Just put soy beans in the front hopper, and water in the back hopper. Switch on your electric cow and “milk” comes out the bottom. Cheap, fast, environmentally friendly and tastes horrible.

  16. RobK

    Just put soy beans in the front hopper,…..
    Add an Easter egg if you want choc milk.

  17. Bruce of Newcastle

    One look at the cape Grim data shows immediately that methane isn’t a problem even if a significant greenhouse gas (which it anyway isn’t).

    See the second graph here.

    The pCH4 level plateaued between 2000 and 2006. That shows methane emissions were exactly matched by methane oxidation in the atmosphere. Then the pCH4 concentration started to rise again – just as the coal seam gas and shale gas industry started to get moving. Gas consumption around the world has massively increased as these new resources feed into industry, and…renewable energy. Every kWh of wind energy needs a backup of a kWh or so of gas turbine generation to rapidly load level and for when there is no wind.

    As soon as the CSG and shale gas industries mature pCH4 will again plateau. Thus it cannot possibly be a significant contributor to global warming, even if it was actually seriously happening – which in real world data, outside of the climateer models, it isn’t.

    These people are crazy bovineaphobic speciesists!

  18. NB

    I found a lost page of the policy:
    Electric cows will help reduce unemployment. Each electric cow will require its own attendant. This will improve national economic performance by 396.4%.

  19. RobK

    The electric cow will eventually be available as a phone app.

  20. Cementafriend

    Dr Fred Lenin in Switzerland not only can voters through Citizen iniated referendum over turn any legislation but have to be asked sbout certain budget items through sunset clauses. For an example recently a referendum decided there will be no basic wage. Further the Swiss csn recall elected officials and appointed senior public servants such as the chief of police or head of defence. ON is the only party that has CIS in their policy.

  21. bollux

    ” will always take a back seat to our commitments to the United Nations.”
    Doesn’t this make him a traitor? Someone in power working against the people who voted them in?

  22. Fat Tony

    Crazyoldranga
    #2981560, posted on April 7, 2019 at 12:50 pm
    But do androids dream of electric sheep?

    Kiwi androids would…….

  23. Mullumhillbilly

    But they’ll have to be solar powered or we won’t have enough power to run them.
    https://www.slideshare.net/mobile/paulmahony101/the-electric-cow
    Climbing Mt Stupid, another peak appears.

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