Monday Forum: May 20, 2019

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1,018 Responses to Monday Forum: May 20, 2019

  1. Slayer of Memes

    They’re starting to eat their own…

    Unions blame ‘debacle’ on lack of clear message

    Union leaders have blamed Labor’s election defeat on Bill Shorten’s inability to sell a coherent message, his failure to combat the Coalition assault on his party’s climate change and tax agenda, and the “debacle” over Adani.

    Victorian Trades Hall Council secretary Luke Hilakari called for a review of the union movement’s record-spending “Change the Rules” campaign after unions ­devoted millions of dollars on Labor’s failed attempt to topple the Coalition.

    “I think it’s time to have a rethink about how we communicate with people, how we bring people along for our journey, how we talk to folks about the things that really matter,’’ he told The Australian.

    “(Across) all of the Labor Party and the labour movement, our messages didn’t cut through with the electorate, otherwise we would have won the election.”

    Senior union officials said Labor’s vote in central Queensland “fell off a cliff” in February and never recovered when voters responded positively to Scott Morrison’s handling of the medevac bill, reinforcing their perception that he would “stop the boats”.

    Union figures said Mr Shorten’s unpopularity was a “drag” on Labor’s vote, accused him of failing to translate his wide-ranging ­policy agenda into a coherent message that could effectively combat the Coalition’s negativity.

    “He couldn’t simply explain things in three sentences,’’ one union leader said. “He struggled to pull it all together and did not have a narrative to say we are backing the Australian people. Morrison was a very effective campaigner. He stuck on the one negative message and hammered it.”

    Union leaders were critical of Labor’s poor handling of the Adani coalmine, which they said was compounded by the Coalition’s ­attacks on Mr Shorten’s tax policies and the cost of the ALP’s ­climate change policy. “Adani was a clusterf..k from the start,’’ one said. “We should have had a clear position that we support coalmining jobs, but we didn’t.”

    Another union leader said Labor’s lack of clarity on Adani was exploited by the Coalition and it turned away disillusioned blue-collar unionists.

    “It caused us massive difficulties,’’ the official said. “Every single day, it was Shorten will tell you one thing up here and another thing if you’re in Melbourne. They didn’t trust him. And then there was (Clive) Palmer’s advertising telling them that Shorten was shifty.”

    A third official said: “In Victoria, climate change is an issue. In Queensland, it’s about jobs, and Bob Brown didn’t do anyone a favour by having those stupid marches in regional towns.”

    Union leaders said Labor also failed to combat a sophisticated social media campaign accusing it of wanting to bring in death taxes.

    “There was negative gearing, franking credits and death taxes,’’ one official said. “Every day we were dealing with questions from members. The message was (Shorten) was going to tax you to death. It was a beautiful scare campaign. There was some truth at the core of it and there was a lot of scary lies. That allowed them to say it.”

    Union leaders said Asian voters in NSW had no interest in Labor’s message, accusing the ALP of failing to repair the damage caused by former state leader Michael Daley claiming Asians were taking young people’s jobs in Sydney.

    In Victoria, union officials said Labor’s vote reached an “unbelievable high-water mark” on the back of Daniel Andrews’s election victory last year but fell away over ­recent months as suburban voters turned against Labor’s tax policies.

    Nom Nom Nom Nom…

    Keep it up comrades.

    Three more years.

    Nom Nom Nom Nom…

  2. Leigh Lowe

    IT:

    Joel’s a few thousand pre-poll votes from losing his seat to a heavily tattooed miner from One Nation.

    What a fucking day!
    Ooorah!

    Actually, I think the Fitzgibbon clan are reaaonably pragmatic and rationale compared to the rest of the clown show.

  3. cohenite

    CONSTRUCTION STARTS TOMORROW

    The electorate of Warringah have spoken, they want ‘’100% renewables’’. They should get what they voted for. Let the construction start immediately.

    Windfarms for Warringah

  4. Methinks Bill Hewson and John Shorten are the 2 leaders of the opposition who lost the un-loseable election.

    Scottie is an accidental winner.

  5. Queenslanders are the best!

    Not necessarily, but our history and the resulting regional consciousness is very different from that of other Australians..
    Queensland has always been different and never properly understood by southerners.
    We identify by our distance from the capital (Brisbane), more strongly than by any other factor. The further we live from Brisbane, the more militant and contrarian our opinions.
    I learned this when working in regional administration in Mt Isa. We talked bitterly about BFBs (Bastards from Brisbane) and saw our main function as opposing every suggested initiative that came from Central Office.
    This identity by region probably derived from the history. Unlike other mainland states, Queensland was settled district by district, from the productive inland to the coast, rather than from the capital outwards.
    The east/west railway links were completed before the north/south Brisbane/Cairns link.
    Soldiers embarking for Gallipoli (and the western front) in World War One, did so on steamers from ports like Rockhampton as well as from Brisbane.
    Prior to the Second World War, many Queenslanders lived out their lives in their own regional areas without ever travelling to the capital. The distances and the state of the roads saw to that.
    This geographical history underpins our political consciousness, and creates an electoral environment beyond the ken of journalists in NSW and Victoria.
    Every now and again, this lack of comprehension is revealed by the commentary, as demonstrated by the collapse of Labor in 2012 – and again yesterday.
    Having said that, Queensland can surprise from the other side of the political spectrum.
    Remember Red Ted Theodore?
    Remember the shearer’s strike?

  6. Bruce in WA

    Victorian Trades Hall Council secretary Luke Hilakari called for a review of the union movement’s record-spending “Change the Rules” campaign after unions ­devoted millions of dollars on Labor’s failed attempt to topple the Coalition.

    “I think it’s time to have a rethink about how we communicate with people, how we bring people along for our journey, how we talk to folks about the things that really matter,’’ he told The Australian.

    “(Across) all of the Labor Party and the labour movement, our messages didn’t cut through with the electorate, otherwise we would have won the election.”

    No. It’s time to change your insane environmental policies, to keep your hands out of people’s wallets, super and bank accounts, and drop the “Big Brother” ideologies. Then, and only then, might people start listening.

  7. candy

    T. Plibersek waiting to see if Albo fails first, before she takes the plunge into leadership.

    I don’t mind Albo, especially if he wears a sharp, nice suit (not a Malcolm Turnbull elite suit), but just a well cut and well fitting suit.

  8. Leigh:
    It took about thirty six hours for the reality to sink in.
    No von Shortenreich for a Tousand Jahres!
    (Twisted my knee a bit mowing a couple of strips of the backyard because the Willie Wagtail is back trying to entice some new flame into his old nest. He get’s a good feed from the insects chucked into the air so I do a couple of fifty meter strips whenever he is around. I left a stack of hair for his nest last time I cut it, and the old nest has been refurbished in a particularly fetching shade of grey. The knee will be good with a couple of Panadiene Forte. Don’t expect sobriety this week.)

  9. BrettW

    I see Numbers point of comparison is how much more Labor got than ON in Qld. Totally ignores the whacking Labor got overall in Qld.

    To summarise Labor did not win a single seat in Qld but lost ground everywhere. Even previous safe seats like Lilly and Blair are now marginal. Even Dutton got a swing towards him despite massive numbers of Union and GetUp targeting him.

    Medic ! We have a Black Knight down. He says it is only a flesh wound but looks like he has no limbs.

  10. Slayer of Memes

    A paradox for our time:
    The far Left is disproportionately white, wealthy, and well-educated.

    So extreme “wokeness” is now one of the most glaring symptoms of “white privilege.”

  11. notafan

    If only Shorten spoke in clear three word slogans

  12. If only Shorten spoke in clear three word slogans

    Like:
    Tax the motherfsckers.

  13. Mater

    Unions blame ‘debacle’ on lack of clear message

    They’d do well to undertake some introspection.
    It was the Unions that introduced the discussion of inheritance taxes…and that REALLY hurt Labor.

  14. Leigh Lowe

    Victorian Trades Hall Council secretary Luke Hilakari called for a review of the union movement’s record-spending “Change the Rules” campaign after unions ­devoted millions of dollars on Labor’s failed attempt to topple the Coalition.

    Pronounced “Hari-Kari”.

  15. Cactus

    So question on the polls. If the polls are wrong, why should anyone use them as a justification to topple leaders?

  16. after unions ­devoted millions of dollars on Labor’s failed attempt

    I’m sure the bruvvers super funds will help recoup the losses.

  17. Roger

    (Across) all of the Labor Party and the labour movement, our messages didn’t cut through with the electorate, otherwise we would have won the election.”

    They all keep singing from the same song sheet, seemingly unable to comprehend that the message did cut through, the electorate didn’t like it and voted accordingly.

  18. notafan

    Take it all back

    Shorten is prime minister after all

  19. Mater

    So question on the polls.

    Polls nowadays are just a fully purchased lobbying tool.
    Want a politician to not do something? Just commission a poll that tells him/her how unpopular it is.

    I shouldn’t complain though, I won big on Saturday because of them.

  20. John Comnenus

    According to the AEC. Libs got 3.284 mil votes, LNP got 1.005 mil votes and CLP got 0.035mil votes. Libs as Libs (Aust less Qld and NT) and their QLD & NT family got 4.325 mil votes. ALP. got 4.011 mil votes. Nats got 0.579 mil votes and there are 1.189 mil morons who voted Green.

  21. Leigh Lowe

    Yes, it has been a terrific day. I finished up with nearly $18,000 extra on my shares.

    Yep, net $20k up, even with a couple of USD exposed stocks coming off a bit.
    Thanks Mr Bowen!!!

  22. stackja

    Another day in “Danistan”

    Shooting up, sex in street as Richmond’s safe injecting room hits crisis point
    MONIQUE HORE, Herald Sun
    an hour ago
    Subscriber only

    Disturbing images of addicts shooting up and having sex in public have emerged amid rising tensions over Richmond’s drug crisis and injecting centre.

    Security guards watched a woman shoot up in a carpark next to the injecting centre last week, while a drug-affected man stopped traffic as he stumbled along the street in view of a primary school playground.

    Footage has also emerged of lurid behaviour in a Richmond laneway between February 16 and May 5, which includes:

    — AT least six separate incidents of public drug use, with one man dropping his pants to shoot up in the leg;

    — A MAN threatening a woman with what appears to be a weapon held to her throat, before ‘strip’ searching her and rummaging through her belongings;

    — AN apparent “drug deal” involving four people, and;

    — A COUPLE performing sex acts.

    The laneway is lined with homes, and regularly used by residents and families.

    A pedestrian and car passed the tense 10-minute strip search on May 5, while a woman arrived moments after one of the sex acts on April 24 as the couple was dressing.

  23. Roger

    Folau will not exercise his right to appeal via the RA process.

    To court instead, ’tis hoped.

  24. BrettW

    Uh oh, Coalition lost Gilmore !

    This is devastating news. I won’t be able to sleep tonight.

    Oh wait, but didn’t Morrison win the unwinnable election. Morrison was still campaigning whilst Shorten went to socialise in a VIC pub with comrade Daniel Andrews.

  25. Infidel Tiger

    So question on the polls. If the polls are wrong, why should anyone use them as a justification to topple leaders?

    Let’s ask Mal Turnbull how that worked out for him?

  26. Infidel Tiger

    p.s My testicle ache has completely gone.

    I believe it was a sign.

  27. Tel

    I don’t mind Albo, especially if he wears a sharp, nice suit (not a Malcolm Turnbull elite suit), but just a well cut and well fitting suit.

    Candy you provide a valuable insight into how the voting public sees the world … but who the heck cares about the way a suit fits? Albo is a dipstick and not even valuable to give the government a bit of focus. Have you heard him speak on any topic? He comes across to me as a clueless waffler.

  28. Cactus

    So I have taken a lot of pleasure watching ABC, various other media commentators and public figures all have head explosions. Popcorn.

    But there is one missing. The greatest of all to witness would be Turnbull. Why oh why cant we have watched him in real time or via twitter etc musing and following this result? That is just such a shame.

  29. JC

    That’s a lack of leg overing, Artie.

  30. Cactus

    Oh wait – Hewson. Was he on any channel to watch? Let me check twitter….

  31. candy

    He comes across to me as a clueless waffler.

    I thought the same about Malcolm Turnbull actually.

  32. Eyrie

    “Albo set to dump franking plan”
    There’s no doubt he’s a real rocket scientist.

  33. DrBeauGan

    candy
    #3020243, posted on May 20, 2019 at 5:03 pm
    He comes across to me as a clueless waffler.

    I thought the same about Malcolm Turnbull actually.

    You and quite a lot of us, Candy.

  34. Exit Stage Right

    after unions devoted millions of of dollars on Labor’s failed attempt.
    And where did those dollar’s they devoted come from?
    Membership dues, superannuation fees etc. Not out of the Union hierachy pockets.
    All paid for by the Wukkas.
    Suckers more like it.
    Who would be a Union member?

  35. Leigh Lowe

    So question on the polls. If the polls are wrong, why should anyone use them as a justification to topple leaders?

    Let’s ask Mal Turnbull how that worked out for him?

    Exactly.
    Both Faino and Neil Mitchell were bleating about the possibility that Trumble got tumbled on shit data.
    Neither of them mentioned Trumble rolling Tony on exactly the same premise until prompted by callers.

  36. Megan

    The far Left is disproportionately white, wealthy, and well-educated.

    So extreme “wokeness” is now one of the most glaring symptoms of “white privilege.”

    But, but, but…just think of all the Wokemon points those Zali for Warringah morons accumulated on Saturday!

  37. Leigh Lowe

    Yes, it has been a terrific day. I finished up with nearly $18,000 extra on my shares.

    Yep, net $20k up, even with a couple of USD exposed stocks coming off a bit.
    Thanks Mr Bowen!!!

    What is so frickin funny is that I was thinking late last week that I should bail out and park some shares in cash until after the election because a hit might be coming.
    Couldn’t make up my mind whether the Short’n factor was already baked in or not and, in any case, after running around like a blue-arse fly on Friday I got home after market close anyway.
    Like IT’s knacker, it was a sign.

  38. candy

    I think the polls were quite accurate. They narrowed every week, every day as Labor announced another huge, uncosted complicated ridiculous policy and gave out mixed messages about the Adani mine.

    The day before Newspoll had Libs just behind but the individual seat polling in seats thought to be close, was moving to the LNP definitely.
    I reckon a lot of people made their minds up on the day and who have normally voted ALP, thought it too risky this time. The dreadful policy platform and campaign and Bill Shorten unable to articulate anything was just too much to bear. It was simply scary.

  39. Harlequin Decline

    I was expecting a much closer contest on Warringah and surprised at the result, especially compared to Dutton’s electorate so after some thought I believe the main factors were-

    -The relentless demonisation of Mr Rabbit over the last decade which will have had an effect on the younger voters as they came of voting age. No other politician has been subjected to this. Imagine if you were 10-17 years old and as you started to pay some( usually scant) attention to politics and all you heard was how bad Tony was over and over again for 10 years. Nothing good whatsoever. His margin has been declining election on election as the propaganda took hold.

    -Add in the school system, gay marriage, global warming and the like and the situation is now ripe for a protest vote given Tony’s position on these providing someone presents as an alternative.

    -Assuming around 25% don’t give a rats arse who they vote for (the majority being younger people) and split evenly then all it takes for 5% to fall one way or another and it leads to a 10% swing.

    -Given the enormous amount of advertising for the chickengirl a bunch of the above would have been swayed. You could not leave your house in the electorate without being confronted by her advertising. I know Dutton was hit by this as well but Dickson is 10x the area of Warringah and even if the same effort was expended their advertising would have been spread more thinly. Additionally the Adani issue would have been more relevant to the banana benders. So when it came to voting the first name they thought of was chickengirl.

    -A cohort of middle aged frumps, with nothing better to do plus their cucked husbands drank the Koolaid on climate change, saw a chance for a woman to be elected and proved to be the useful idiots waving placards, stickers on cars, donations etc aided and abetted by Get Fucked, Turnbull et al.

  40. cohenite

    The AEC Tallyroom now has the LNP provisionally on 78.

  41. thefrollickingmole

    Is ITs knacker a swinging voter?

    Or hanging?

  42. Old School Conservative

    Yes, yes, numbers you are technically correct.
    Feeling better now?

  43. Graham

    According to the AEC website the Liberal Party is now leading in all 3 remaining seats still in doubt: Bass, Chisholm and Macquarie. Only 23 votes in it in Macquarie at present. Potentially 79 seats I think if that holds good until the end.

  44. Bar Beach Swimmer

    Rebel with cause
    #3016999, posted on May 18, 2019 at 10:17 pm
    Tits in hiding down a Beaconsfield mine shaft. His political career started with a mining collapse, it ends with miners kicking the shit out of him.

    Vote this as the best post of the election thread. Thanks RwC!

    Also, thanks Custard for keeping us going with your dedication and enthusiasm throughout the campaign.

  45. Slayer of Memes

    candy
    #3020243, posted on May 20, 2019 at 5:03 pm
    He comes across to me as a clueless waffler.
    I thought the same about Malcolm Turnbull actually.

    You and quite a lot of us, Candy.

    I remember someone quite important to the blog who refused to believe those of us who said from Day One that Turnbull was a dud…

    Kept spouting something about “Potential Greatness” or something…

  46. Exit Stage Right

    Sorry Rambler, you beat me to the punch.
    Should have read more upthread.
    Great minds etc

  47. Zulu Kilo Two Alpha

    Sharemarket surges in post-poll relief rally, adding $33bn to market value

    David Rogers
    Markets Editor
    @DavidRogersOZ
    9 minutes ago May 20, 2019

    Australian stocks have posted one of their biggest post-election jumps, adding $33 billion in market capital, as banks and health insurers breathed a sigh of relief at the Coalition win.

    The S&P/ASX 200 share index closed up 110.8 points, or 1.7 per cent, at an almost 12-year high of 6376.1 points after the unexpected Coalition election victory.

    The broader All Ordinaries ended up 120 points, or 1.89 per cent, at 6,483.

    It was the best one-day post-election rise since Kevin Rudd was elected in 2007 and the second-biggest rise since a 2.6 per cent jump after Bob Hawke came to power in 1983.

    From the Oz.

  48. Nelson Kidd-Players

    cohenite #3020257, posted on May 20, 2019 at 5:14 pm

    The AEC Tallyroom now has the LNP provisionally on 78.

    Yep, Macquarie back in the Libs pocket by 23 votes.

  49. None

    Unions had a very clear message – actually lots. The number one clear message was the ALP passing a motion at the National Conference that death duties are now official policy with Sally McManus tweeting her wholehearted approval. That message could not have been clearer.

  50. Bruce of Newcastle

    p.s My testicle ache has completely gone.

    You had the crocodile removed?

  51. Zulu Kilo Two Alpha

    Tits in hiding down a Beaconsfield mine shaft. His political career started with a mining collapse, it ends with miners kicking the shit out of him.

    I reckon he’s at home, hiding under the bed, while Chloe informs him what a loser he is “We were going to live in the Lodge, and I would be First Lady, and I had all the new curtains picked out,and have Mummy over for tea and cucumber sandwiches….”

  52. candy

    As well, Scott Morrison campaigned fantastically. He reminded me of Kevin Rudd.

    A man of the people, reaching out and touching, with affectionate family in tow, seen in church.
    Speaking moderately and positively about the future. Smiling a lot, dressed casually a little daggy dad like.
    Pleasant, trustworthy.

    Also Australian slogans like “how good is that!” Rudd had fair suck of the sauce bottles and some other sayings. I wonder if the people involved actually modelled it on Kevin Rudd but it was great.

  53. Boambee John

    Mother Lode
    #3020013, posted on May 20, 2019 at 2:17 pm
    Geez, who knew the black throated finch can only survive in the couple of sq Km that will be the mine.

    In the progressive mind ‘the finch was there first’. T

    Yet, strangely, there was nothing, no wildlife, no vegetation, no indigenes, where the homes and investment or holiday houses of “progressives” are located.

  54. Top Ender

    Hmmm – who will the winner be:

    Cat Election Predictor (Post-Election Variation)

    Coalition predicted to win/margin:
    JC / 18
    Top Ender / 10
    The Countess / 8
    Elizabeth (Lizzie) Beare / 7
    Johno / 6
    Winston Smith /5
    Knuckle Dragger /5
    Exit Stage Right / 4
    Woolfe /3
    Caveman / 3
    Fleeced / 3
    None / 2
    EvilElvis /2
    Notafan / 2
    Rebel with cause / 2
    Indolent /2
    Areff / 2
    Harlequin Decline / 2
    Helen / 1
    Ƶĩppʯ / 1
    Goanna / 1

    If the Coalition have 78 seats out of 151 there will be 73 remaining, so they would have a majority of 5.

    They have to supply one for the Speaker but I’m putting that in as a minor detail.

    So at present it looks like the two possible champs could be:

    Winston Smith /5
    Knuckle Dragger /5

    They could share the arseless chaps between them. Or alternatively three nights each and hire them out for a night.

  55. None

    I don’t just want a trifecta with Pell’s acquittal; I want the relentless pursuit of every m*********** who put him in jail. Journalist should be making headlines with investigations of Victoria’s DPP and Vic police for a start but not a huge analyst really should be in jail instead. I want the Catholic Church to fucken well sue for the wrongful imprisonment of a bishop, Christian brother and cardinal. I expect absolutely zero support from a f****** limp-wristed Morrison. If he’s a standard dog Pentecostal he probably hates on the Catholics as only Pentecostals can but then again he even threw a fellow Pentecostal like Folau under the bus.

  56. Bruce of Newcastle

    Joel’s a few thousand pre-poll votes from losing his seat to a heavily tattooed miner from One Nation.

    Labor has held Hunter for the last 109 years.
    There was no PHON candidate last election either.

  57. Notafan

    Chisholm is pegged back to 59 votes.

  58. classical_hero

    The salt coming from the left is worth it’s weight in gold.

  59. Exit Stage Right

    Top Ender
    Is there a Runner up prize?
    I’m on my own at 4 seats.
    Anyway, there should be some prize for everyone who competed. Fairness etc

  60. Infidel Tiger

    The AEC usually steal a seat or two each election.

    They may steal Chisholm this time.

  61. Infidel Tiger

    Chisholm is pegged back to 59 votes.

    Website says 591?

  62. Notafan

    Chisholm is 590 something

    The page doesn’t fit on the android.

    Sigh of relief.

  63. Notafan

    Yes IT

    Has been improving all day as the postals are getting counted.

    I already congratulated Gladys and she already thanked me 🙂

  64. None

    First we had Rugby Australia’s Friday night doc Dump about Izzy hoping that nobody would notice.
    Just In:

    Some Pell contempt charges dropped

    PELL TRIAL Victoria’s top prosecutor has dropped dozens of contempt of court charges over the reporting on the George Pell case, including a charge against Herald Sun editor Damon Johnston.

    13m

  65. None

    Winston you’ve really been on a winning streak this election. Congratulations. Enjoy the cash and the chaps.

  66. Leigh Lowe

    Nelson Kidd-Players

    #3020266, posted on May 20, 2019 at 5:17 pm

    cohenite #3020257, posted on May 20, 2019 at 5:14 pm

    The AEC Tallyroom now has the LNP provisionally on 78.

    Yep, Macquarie back in the Libs pocket by 23 votes.

    78 would be gold.
    That would mean 77 LNP on the floor after providing a speaker, vs a grand total of 73 Liars + Green + Independents.
    This keeps a lid on any Malcontent sponsored Juliar Banksy types getting all antsy, and also negates the need to throw money at independents pet causes.
    Hatter will probably fall in line for a few crumbs for his aggrarian socialist causes.

  67. cohenite:

    The AEC Tallyroom now has the LNP provisionally on 78.

    I’m hoping the count goes to 81 – wanted to put $500 on the 81 -85 band, but they’d only take $150 at 21:1.
    Nevertheless, 76 – 80 at 10:1 and $250 is nothing to sneer at.

  68. Slayer of Memes

    Dave Dawson
    @demon_dave

    The geriatric farts and uneducated rednecks of Queensland are to blame for the country regressing back to the 1950’s , no sympathy and I’m not buying Queensland products anymore, shove your bananas and mangoes where the sun don’t shine #RIPAustralia

    12:47 am – 19 May 2019 From Melbourne, Victoria

    He seems nice, and not a single bit deranged…

  69. Ƶĩppʯ (ȊꞪꞨV)

    “At this point, I cannot reconcile the important responsibilities I have to my family with the additional responsibilities of the Labor leadership. I know some people will be disappointed with this decision,” Ms Plibersek said.

    we re devastated

  70. Spider

    Can someone please advise the origin of the Liberal Death Taxes meme.

    Did it actually start with an official Liberal party advertisement?

    This has now reached the status of Labor’s Mediscare campaign in mainstream media reporting today.

  71. Fleeced

    p.s My testicle ache has completely gone.

    I believe it was a sign.

    Was it leaning too far to the left?

  72. Leigh Lowe

    Sharemarket surges in post-poll relief rally, adding $33bn to market value

    David Rogers
    Markets Editor
    @DavidRogersOZ
    9 minutes ago May 20, 2019

    Australian stocks have posted one of their biggest post-election jumps, adding $33 billion in market capital, as banks and health insurers breathed a sigh of relief at the Coalition win.

    David Rowe did one of his frenetic overwrought scribblings when the Dow dropped on the back of Chinese posturing a few weeks back.
    Presumably he will do something on this yuuuuuge rally for tomorrow’s rag?

  73. Eyrie

    “Can someone please advise the origin of the Liberal Death Taxes meme. ”
    May have been the ACTU conference.

  74. Fleeced

    If ScoMo really wanted to PO the left, he could make Abbott GG.

  75. Percy Popinjay

    LOL. I see some Black Throated Finches have been reached for comment.

  76. Tup Ender:

    So at present it looks like the two possible champs could be:

    Winston Smith /5
    Knuckle Dragger /5

    Winner! Winner! Chicken dinner!
    Jesu Cristo! Does life get any better?
    The arseless chaps are mine! sorta.

  77. Notafan

    Dave

    Queenslanders are in no need of your sympathy.

    Though they’d be happy of you could take your long lost twin home to Melbourne.

    (It’s a big city so I won’t mind)

  78. None

    Albo isn’t just a Clueless waffler, he’s only reason for existence is undergraduate politics. Remember this is the man that cried “I like fighting tories”. The fuckwits stuck in the 19th century in another country. This is the man that killed the Australian shipping industry to appease his Maritime Union mates, a man who nearly destroyed the transport sector in his time as minister. The guy is a rabid screaming brothel creeping communist and should not even be in public office much less presenting himself as an alternative prime minister. As for the Pliberdreck, anyone who’s ever employed women knows that no matter what f****** b******* they give you about being the lista sistas, when they finally get around to actually having a kid instead of spring half the office and aborting any Offspring, they realise that maybe the most important job and the most fulfilling job in the world is raising children.

  79. Woolfe

    Hey @RealMarkLatham that hitler parody was made by thefrollickingmole on @CatallaxyFiles @CatalaxyComment . Should give them an acknowledgement

  80. Notafan

    The rich get richer under scomo

    Lefty tears threaten to flood inner Melbourne.

  81. None

    Fleeced, they’ve already picked Hurley for GG and I was thinking about it some more the other day and Tony Abbott is very much an action man and Gigi and ambassador jobs are basically sucking up to people not doing anything and not being allowed to speak about anything so maybe not. Although I think he has earned the right to ask for any job he wishes

  82. Thanks None.
    A bloody good week for me and the Nation.
    (sniff)
    I’d like to thank…

  83. Percy Popinjay

    Can someone please advise the origin of the Liberal Death Taxes meme.

    I started commenting about two years ago on Blair’s, the Oz and here that labore, if elected, would introduce (at least) Death duties and a CGT on family homes.

    They still will, the next time they blunder over the line.

  84. Leigh Lowe

    Spider

    #3020298, posted on May 20, 2019 at 5:45 pm

    Can someone please advise the origin of the Liberal Death Taxes meme.

    Well, you see, it goes like this.
    Liars and Greens were trawling back through Lib candidates Soshul Meeja looking for nasties.
    Found a few ten year old references to Religion of Pieces adherents for candidates in safe Labour seats and they had to fall on their sword.
    Simultaneously, a few Liars candidates from the Yunion Mooment were discovered to have canvassed for Death Taxes a while ago (probably in response to some issue-du-jour raised on the Snowcone Variety Hour).
    Their rebuttals were less than convincing … “I support the current ALP policy on taxation.”
    .
    Also, I might be wrong, but I think it is also part of more than one state Green’s policy platforms, so, hey, if you can insist that ScoMo explain every last PHON and Anning position, you can legitimately stick it to the ALP with Green’s policies.

  85. Spider

    The ABC Drum still furiously banging on about Climate Change post election and how industry wants certainty.

    Give us price on carbon please they scream.

    I can understand why industry might want certainty but the fact that they are demanding a carbon tax is perverse and shows they have all drunk the Kool Aid.

  86. Infidel Tiger

    US Ambassador is position vacant.

  87. Slayer of Memes

    FAKE NEWS ALERT!!

    ‘We have lost Australia for now,’ warns climate scientist in wake of election upset

    The unexpected victory of conservatives in Australia’s election is bad news for the future of global climate action.

    Joe Romm – May 18, 2019, 3:27 pm

    The unexpected victory of conservatives in Australia’s election Saturday is bad news for the future of global climate action, warn climate experts.

    Polls had suggested that the Labor Party, which supports strong climate action, held a narrow lead in recent days. But in the end, Prime Minister Scott Morrison won re-election as his Liberal Party (which is actually conservative) swept to victory.

    “Australians elected someone who once brought a lump of coal into Parliament urging us to dismiss the warnings from climate scientists, and to dig up more coal instead,” Professor Stephan Lewandowsky, an Australian cognitive scientist, told ThinkProgress in an email. “There is little doubt that his government will do precisely that.”

    “We have lost Australia for now,” warned Penn State climatologist Michael Mann in an email. “A coalition of a small number of bad actors now threaten the survivability of our species,” he said.

    These include “the fossil fueled Murdoch media empire, which saturated the country with dishonest right-wing campaign propaganda” working with a few “petrostates including Saudi Arabia, Russia, Trump’s America, and now Australia.”

    Rupert Murdoch’s grip on the Australian media — and his support of climate disinformation around the world — led one Australian scientist to write in 2011, “The Murdoch media empire has cost humanity perhaps one or two decades of time in the battle against climate change.”

    In re-electing Morrison, a long-time opponent of climate action, Murdoch and his allies have triumphed again.

    In fact, Morrison first became prime minister back in 2015 following a party coup against then Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull, who supported the climate action.

    Turnbull’s efforts to cut carbon pollution and promote clean energy rankled right-wing members of his ruling Liberal Party, whose stances were closer to President Trump’s pro-coal (and anti-immigrant) policies.

    Ironically, 2019 has already seen the hottest summer on record for Australia. The temperatures have been so brutal in South Australia, in fact, that heat-stressed bats are literally falling out of trees.

    Australia is one of most vulnerable countries to climate change, since much of it is already very hot and dry — and so much of its population lives along the coast, which is threatened by rapidly rising sea levels.
    Morrison’s reelection is thus a disaster for the future of the country — and the world, since avoiding catastrophic climate change requires a collective effort.

    And so “we must redouble our efforts to make sure that the rest of the world works even harder to act on climate,” said Mann. “The stakes are too great to simply give up.”

    Once more, for those at the back who may not have heard it clearly:

    “In fact, Morrison first became prime minister back in 2015 following a party coup against then Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull, who supported the climate action.”

    Holy fuck, where do I even start….

  88. Percy Popinjay

    Actually, I was spreading that rumour before the Waffles Turnbuckle one seat miracle in 2016.

    Suck shit, labore, you irredeemable arseholes.

  89. The arseless chaps are mine! sorta.

    There will be another set of arseless chaps on the QandA fred.

  90. Fleeced

    If the Coalition have 78 seats out of 151 there will be 73 remaining, so they would have a majority of 5.

    That’s not how it works. If you’re going to do the count, learn do to it correctly.

    There’s 151 seats. 76 is a 1 seat majority. 77 is a 2 seat majority. 78 is a three seat majority.

  91. Slayer of Memes:

    The geriatric farts and uneducated rednecks of Queensland are to blame for the country regressing back to the 1950’s , no sympathy and I’m not buying Queensland products anymore, shove your bananas and mangoes where the sun don’t shine #RIPAustralia

    12:47 am – 19 May 2019 From Melbourne, Victoria

    He seems nice, and not a single bit deranged…

    I wonder if he’s aware that a certain percentage of the mangos and bananas have been used for this weird – but entirely normal! – method of sexual titillation for several centuries?

  92. Leigh Lowe

    78 seats won, you say.
    Well, well, well.
    Zali has been spouting off about how she is going to meet with the PM to discuss da climate.
    Being a polite chap, he will probably humour her for five minutes, then give her some of Wyatt Roy’s well chewed crayons and half-finished colouring books and send her on her way.

  93. Infidel Tiger

    Meanwhile…

    n a single speech on Friday alone, he managed to throw out a “hell,” an “ass” and a couple of “bullshits” for good measure. In the course of just one rally in Panama City Beach, Florida, earlier this month, he tossed out 10 “hells,” three “damns” and a “crap.” The audiences did not seem to mind. They cheered and whooped and applauded.

    DJT is trashing democracy by using salty language.

    Maybe he should get an intern to lick his anus or suck off his friend?

  94. Percy Popinjay

    US Ambassador is position vacant.

    Yabbott, Yabbott, Yabbott!

  95. Spider

    Leigh Lowe

    Yes. The ABC keep repeating the Death Taxes meme as if someone from the Liberals officially made a statement that Labor was planning to introduce one.

    I never saw the original Liberal ad or statement only the Labor rebuttal.

  96. Zulu Kilo Two Alpha

    Also, I might be wrong, but I think it is also part of more than one state Green’s policy platforms, so, hey, if you can insist that ScoMo explain every last PHON and Anning position, you can legitimately stick it to the ALP with Green’s policies.

    The Greens had “death duties” as part of their official election platform in 2004 and 2007.

  97. Spider:

    Can someone please advise the origin of the Liberal Death Taxes meme.
    Did it actually start with an official Liberal party advertisement?

    I started using it well before the election started in December. Along with the sacrificing virgins to the volcano Gods to stop gerbil warmening.
    One of these memes caught on well.

  98. Infidel Tiger

    Wowsers.

    Ann Aly is now only 1000 votes from needing to learn to code.

    Counters stuffed up.

  99. Slayer of Memes

    FWIW, the above article I quoted in my post above is from ‘Think Progress‘…

    From what I can see, not a lot of ‘thinking’ (or even a jot of ‘progress’) was used by the ‘journalist’ who wrote it…

  100. Zulu Kilo Two Alpha

    There will be another set of arseless chaps on the QandA fred.

    I might watch “Q and A” for the first time in many years. It should be as funny as “Fawlty Towers.”

  101. Can someone please advise the origin of the Liberal Death Taxes meme.

    It was voted on at the liebour national conference and accepted as a future policy.

    Sally (strange name for a dude) NcManus tweeted about it.

  102. Ubique

    Dear Bob

    Is it too early to start booking your anti-mining convoys for 2022? My fellow eco-warriors and I at Catallaxy Files will gladly chip in for the fuel; and plenty of supplies of pies and Chiko rolls to sustain you and your comrades on your journeys. We’re pretty keen on having at least one convoy in every State. I reckon one to Port Hedland would go down a treat with the locals.

    Yours in anticipation
    Ubique
    xoxox

  103. Bruce of Newcastle

    Can someone please advise the origin of the Liberal Death Taxes meme.

    At least a couple of union heavies were in the press advocating death duties.

    Link (July 2017)
    Link (July 2018)

  104. I might watch “Q and A” for the first time in many years. It should be as funny as “Fawlty Towers.”

    Allan Jones on tonight – he will probably have a Schaedenboner.

  105. thefrollickingmole

    Can someone please advise the origin of the Liberal Death Taxes meme.

    The puppetmasters of the ALP were positively turgid about intorducing one until it was mentioned it polled like dried dog turds.

    So while not an official policy it was a stated “later on”…

    Its interesting, the page that had the ambitions has been memory holed.

    Tax and Revenue – Australian Council of Trade Unions ACTU
    https://www.actu.org.au/our-work/actu…/actu…/a…/a-fair-share-tax-and-revenue
    A Fair Share: Tax and Revenue policy for ACTU Congress 2015. … wealth and inheritance tax, the taxation treatment of dividend imputation and franking credits, …

    Leads to a “page not found” now.
    However a cashed version is still available.
    37. Congress recognises the need to consider tax policy areas in detail, including, in addition to those addressed in this Policy, wealth and inheritance tax, the taxation treatment of dividend imputation and franking credits, and measures to fund public infrastructures.

    Add that to the fact their hoped for senate lackeys (the greens) have a death tax as a stated aim it wouldnt be hard to see Labor “giving in” to the greens demands.

    Theres also more whackyness they wouldnt take to the election.

    39. Congress recognises the need to consider the Robin Hood Tax, a specific Financial Transactions Tax/Tobin Tax
    32. Congress supports special company tax arrangements which apply in the case where a company is earning super profits because of the superior quality of the resources over which it has control.
    34. Congress advocates for the taxation of resources not to be confined to mineral resources, noting there are similar sources of scarce resources such as radio frequencies and water that are periodically auctioned by government. In these cases there is the very important issue of who owns the scarce resource and so who should earn the scarcity rents.

    35. These issues are also relevant to the cases of companies that make super profits through their domination of telecommunications, the payments system in the case of banks, electricity networks and so on. In these cases the imposition of monopoly taxation is a potential alternative to using regulatory mechanisms to counter monopoly power.
    b) Increase taxation of capital gains to generate additional revenues for government while reducing incentives for speculative investment in residential property; and

    c) Replace stamp duties with a broad-based annual land tax
    22. The concessional taxation of super cost government $32 billion last year. Estimates by The Australia Institute and NATSEM suggest an additional $9.6 billion per annum could be raised from progressive reforms to the current system, with almost all of this being raised from the highest income households.
    18. Congress agrees that Australia should introduce a rule (also known as ‘The Buffett Rule’) which imposes a minimum average rate of tax on very high income earners based on their total income. Estimates by The Australia Institute and the National Centre for Social and Economic Modelling suggest an additional $2.5 billion per annum could be raised from a minimum average tax rate of 35 percent.

  106. Percy Popinjay

    78 is a three seat majority.

    No, it is not. It works like this: 151 – 78 = 73. 78-73 = 5. Appoint a speaker and it’s a four seat majority. There were 150 lower house seats in the last parliament.

    Yabbott had a thirty seat majority in 2013, but that didn’t mean the gliberals had thirty more seats than labore. That’s how Waffles Turnbuckle survived after losing 14 seats in 2016.

  107. Fleeced

    Fleeced, they’ve already picked Hurley for GG and I was thinking about it some more the other day and Tony Abbott is very much an action man and Gigi and ambassador jobs are basically sucking up to people not doing anything and not being allowed to speak about anything so maybe not.

    Yes, true. He wasn’ta good PM partly because that wasn’t his strength. He’s better in battle.

    I’d also add that it would probably be a waste of political capital to give GG spot. Funny as hell, but we might need that political capital to push through something more useful.

  108. Farmer Gez

    Based on what I’ve heard on radio today, the ABC and the ALP have learnt nothing from the loss.
    The ALP believe a scare campaign undid them while the ABC continue to ask the same false prophets for wisdom and insight.
    The hatchet job on Tony Abbott by Four Corners tonight was meant to be a victory parade but now simply highlights the mendacious nature of a delusional clique.

  109. Fleeced

    No, it is not. It works like this: 151 – 78 = 73. 78-73 = 5. Appoint a speaker and it’s a four seat majority. There were 150 lower house seats in the last parliament.

    Incorrect. With 78, it requires 3 defections to lose. It is a majority of three seats.

  110. Leigh Lowe

    If the Coalition have 78 seats out of 151 there will be 73 remaining, so they would have a majority of 5.

    That’s not how it works. If you’re going to do the count, learn do to it correctly.

    There’s 151 seats. 76 is a 1 seat majority. 77 is a 2 seat majority. 78 is a three seat majority.

    I read it like this.
    There are 151 seats.
    Deduct 1 for speaker from the winners, which leaves 150 even on the floor.
    If the coalition win 76 seats gross (ie net 75 LNP) against 75 ALP plus others. Effectively tied, but the speaker can break any deadlock.
    If the coalition win 77 seats gross (ie net 76 LNP) against 74 ALP plus others. Majority of 2, but with the possibility that the speaker can break any deadlock if one LNP crosses the floor.
    If the coalition win 78 seats gross (ie net 77 LNP) against 73 ALP plus others. Majority of 4, but with the possibility that the speaker can break any deadlock if two LNP MPs cross the floor.

  111. Spider

    Can Tanya P claim future misogyny for her failure to seek labor leadership.

    When the chance arises she defers to family responsibilities blah blah blah. Good luck to her.

    The very reason, though, that thousands of ordinary Australian woman use and Labor dismiss because they blame structural sexism.

  112. Percy Popinjay

    Fleeced, it’s a four seat majority if you’re voting on bills in the lower house, FFS.

  113. Notafan

    I have dollars that Abbott was offered US to go quietly last time and said no.

    Then it was Hockey.

  114. JC

    All you guys bickering about the seat spread need to learn to code.

  115. Percy Popinjay

    Appoint a speaker from the cross benchers and it’s a five seat majority.

  116. Caveman

    It works like this: 151

    Whos on first?

  117. Fleeced

    I have dollars that Abbott was offered US to go quietly last time and said no.

    Possibly. Not sure he’d want to live in the cold – he’s a beach guy. Then again, Malcolm despised him enough that he might not have been able to bring himself to offer him a plum job – despite giving one to a former/potential-future enemy being a time-honoured tradition.

  118. Percy Popinjay

    The gliberals will try and appoint a speaker from the independents. Katter would be excellent value.

  119. Fleeced

    All you guys bickering about the seat spread need to learn to code.

    I’m already a programmer. Bickering about details is what we spend half our time doing to avoid actual work.

  120. All you guys bickering about the seat spread need to learn to code.

    aaaaahahahahahahahahaha

    Good One 🙂

  121. Top Ender

    Exit Stage Right
    Is there a Runner up prize?
    I’m on my own at 4 seats.
    Anyway, there should be some prize for everyone who competed. Fairness etc

    Damn right!

    Send a self-addressed stamped envelope with a $50 note inside and I’ll mail back certificates to anyone who wants one.

    Official Catalaxxy Certificates (Patent Pending) with skull ‘n’ crossbones emblems; arseless chaps dancing…in arseless chaps; steak dinners in all corners, and several other memes. Suitable for tasteful framing; boasting purposes etc etc.

  122. JC

    Just fuck off now and leave us alone.

    We put up a great fight: Kerryn Phelps concedes defeat to Dave Sharma in Wentworth

  123. candy

    I have dollars that Abbott was offered US to go quietly last time and said no.

    Notafan, I believe he said he would not consider a position unless Ms Credlin and Joe Hockey were offered positions first. It’s hard to see him being an ambassador though, the cocktail circuit and fluffy speeches.

    Julie Bishop would be better suited.

  124. Caveman

    Australia was the winner. We can all own those arseless chaps.

  125. HP

    From retirees, to the stock market to the housing market, the whole country breathes a sigh of relief…

    Good news on Macquarie as some have already mentioned above: it’s now flipped. Postal votes are breaking strongly to the Libs.

    If on-the-day voting breaks towards the Coalition more than expected, and pre-polling even more than that…

    What were these genius experts doing that said Labor was going to win or win big?

    You just have to wonder: how different would the election have been if we would have had accurate polling, showing the Coalition win comfortably? How many promises have been extracted on the basis of that misrepresentation of imminent loss?

  126. I’d vote for Tony Yabbott if he could get us 9 Virginia class subs leased at a good rate.
    If he got us 50 F22s, I’d give him a blowwie at midday in Martin Place.

  127. Top Ender

    Percy is right!

    Katter would be excellent as Speaker. Hours of amusement and fun.

    Plus the traditional painting for the Parliament would be something else.

    This election win is the Gift that Keeps on Giving.

  128. Armadillo

    Has mOnster surfaced yet?

  129. Fleeced

    Julie Bishop would be better suited.

    Suited to cocktails, but little else.

    Anyway, we’re not thinking diplomatically. What enemy (or potential threat) does Morrison have, who would be willing to accept the post?

    I can only think of Turnbull, and that makes me gag.

  130. Infidel Tiger

    Sarah Richards up by 12 votes in Macquarie.

  131. Bruce of Newcastle

    he tossed out 10 “hells,” three “damns” and a “crap.”

    Lefties have conniptions if you say hell these days. There’s no worse swear word in the prog lexicon.

  132. Fleeced:

    I can only think of Turnbull, and that makes me gag.

    How do you think I feel now that someone’s hijacked my identity and my reindeer – which was a gift from someone about five years ago?

  133. Mater

    Albo isn’t just a Clueless waffler

    Seems an appropriate time to re-visit Mick’s masterly description of Albo from 2015.

    Mick Gold Coast QLD
    #1896120, posted on December 24, 2015 at 12:08 am

    From Chistery at 4:03 pm:

    “Albo seems to stand for something. I’m not sure what and if I did, it’s probably the opposite of everything I value. But he just doesn’t strike me as the guy in it for anyone but himself and his own ambitions of power and popularity …”

    Good Lord, where does this fantasy come from?

    He spits when he speaks, visibly spits profusely all over the place, and his voice whines. He is barely literate, unable to put together a 5 minute speech in his own words and have it make sense – or remember what it is he is addressing. Is that an intellect worthy of a ministerial appointment?

    He finished his time in government in tears – a grown man, expected to take hard nosed decisions as a minister, sniveled in public like a frustrated 13 year old prepubescent schoolboy – peeping through the paling fence at those Thai girls down the road hanging out their washing, wondering whether what they say happens to you when you visit their shop is true.

    This turd would be flat out getting $250 per week on his own ability. He is paid perhaps $7,000 per week by me and he thinks it is a lovely big game, being in charge and all. The fact of it is someone else further up the food chain tells him what to do and when, for he does not have the wit to place his right foot after his left in the correct sequence.

    In a speech as minister he quoted from a Michael Douglas film, evidently believing The American President was a leadership training video. When he was found out he leered proudly right back at the cameras – like that 13 year old who had discovered that playing with his li’l chubby feels good, messy, but you just zip up, wipe your hand on the back of your daks and look forward to next time. He’s been a devotee ever since – an ignorant, uneducated, low grade peasant.

    He reminds me of the tortured hermit character of Carr being dragged out from the cobwebbed shadows of the filing room in Sussex Street to lead the Party when everyone else had been voted out or killed off and there was no-one else left. They are both far better suited to anonymity.

  134. Armadillo

    Julie Bishop would be better suited.

    Suited to what exactly? Can someone fill me in?

  135. Mark A

    Eyrie
    #3020300, posted on May 20, 2019 at 5:45 pm

    Hatter for Speaker?

    He would decline the offer despite the prestige and money.
    The speaker has to be in the chamber most of the time, Katter hardly ever is.

  136. Percy Popinjay

    how different would the election have been if we would have had accurate polling

    Que? How accurate was the Brexit polling or that for Trump’s triumph?

    Yet we were told again, to “belieb all bookies”, who had labore at what – $1.15 and the gliberals at $4.25 or something as equally ridiculous.

    English people hate the EU. The Depolorables hated Shrillary. A sensible enough voting block in this country thought that Teats and the Turtle were irredeemable toxic thieving slags.

    With hindsight, none of this is rocket surgery.

  137. Leigh Lowe

    The key thing about the lower house is that the independents are largely powerless.
    Hatter has been around forever, and, after a lot of bluster, will be happy to fall in behind ScoMo.
    Chicken-Woman, the Indi-Indy and the Xenophon clone in Adelaide are all in traditional Liberal seats. Do not underestimate the addictive and intoxicating qualities of green leather. Any one of them will happily deal with ScoMo to keep their arses close to that green leather.
    Nup.
    This is a comfortable majority.

  138. cohenite

    Julie Bishop would be better suited.

    Hatchet face would be better suited to a role as a muscular inmate in Wentworth.

  139. Eyrie

    TE, I first suggested that here: Eyrie
    #3020300, posted on May 20, 2019 at 5:45 pm

    Hatter for Speaker?

  140. cohenite

    Hatter for Speaker?

    A sensational idea. Hatter is functionally insane and has already had a story written about him.

  141. Leigh Lowe

    Infidel Tiger

    #3020367, posted on May 20, 2019 at 6:18 pm

    Sarah Richards up by 12 votes in Macquarie

    Do I read that as trending to Libs on postals?

  142. mizaris

    Anyone running a book on how long Bull Shitten remains as the local member??? I smell a definite stench of by election wafting from that direction.

  143. mizaris

    Anyone running a book on how long Bill Shorten remains as the local member??? I smell a definite stench of by election wafting from that direction.

  144. Atoms for Peace

    Trumbull did not look happy at his airport presser. Surprised his face passed the biometric scanner.

  145. Armadillo

    Yet we were told again, to “believe all bookies”

    I take your point. But NO. There is something seriously wrong when pollsters are skewing figures and the media are driving narratives.

    Don’t blame the bookies.

  146. BrettW

    I am in support with Ubique.

    Where can we donate to fund Bob’s 2022 Green convoys into mining heartland to tell the workers to forego their jobs. Hunter region should be a priority.

    Did somebody mention their Tesla’s had an accompanying truck to re-charge from ?. Just classic.

    After the Green convoy left Qld did it actually make it to Canberra as don’t recall seeing any coverage about it.

    JC not around today so I guess he is manning the Hotline as gotta be a lot of depressed callers around. Bob, Bill, Van Badham, thousands of GetDowns, Hinch, Oakshott, Banks.

  147. Gab

    GoT was a bit of a fizzer. Then again, maybe my expectations were too high.

  148. Percy Popinjay

    Anyone running a book on how long Bull Shitten remains as the local member???

    Especially if the resurrected rope allegations land him back in court. Very short odds, either way. He’s not going to have the stomach for sitting all around day and being treated like a leper by everyone else in caucus.

  149. Ƶĩppʯ (ȊꞪꞨV)

    Has mOnster surfaced yet?

    he’s still wrestling with his inner conservative demons

  150. MsDolittle

    Did I just hear the “d” word from Matt Canavan?

  151. Fleeced

    Sportsbet offering 20:1 on Penny Wong as leader… they do realise she’s a senator, right? I mean, that’s allowed, but… people really do place absurd bets. I mean, they have Sam Dastyari listed as 100:1.

    The betting markets are retarded at times.

  152. Eyrie

    “He’s not going to have the stomach for sitting all around day and being treated like a leper by everyone else in caucus.”
    Couldn’t happen to a nicer bloke. Mendacious thieving prick.

  153. bespoke

    Armadillo
    #3020363, posted on May 20, 2019 at 6:16 pm
    Has mOnster surfaced yet?

    No but his crazy uncle has.

  154. Tel

    Hatter for Speaker?

    Presumably he is allowed to carry his stock whip in with him?

    More effective than that stupid small hammer or the ornate mace.

  155. Eyrie

    “Did I just hear the “d” word from Matt Canavan?”
    What is this “d” word of which you speak?

  156. JC

    How do we really know the polls were wrong though? We Ccn never know that. We can never know that the turn didn’t occur on polling day. Also the exit polls are notoriously unreliable. The one thing you can say about the polls is that they began to tighten as time wore on in terms of direction. There was movement flow away from the Liars.

  157. Armadillo

    Who pays the pollsters? Where does the medias “pay check” come from?

    The bookies are as much “out of the loop” as the punters are.

  158. Armadillo

    How do we really know the polls were wrong though?

    The result.

  159. Eyrie

    This reminds me of the Keating/Hewson election. A week out it looked like Hewson and it tightened every day. The swing may have been much later this time although, as I’ve said, the ASX seemed to know something a week ago.

  160. cohenite

    What is this “d” word of which you speak?

    Dams, lots of them.

    And coal power plants.

  161. BrettW

    Uh oh, I hope Phelps was not planning to call the JC hotline for some sympathetic words and suitable career advice.

    Just wondering if Morrison not being a Catholic will prevent him being nominated for sainthood.

  162. Leigh Lowe

    Sportsbet offering 20:1 on Penny Wong as leader… they do realise she’s a senator, right? I mean, that’s allowed, but…

    Technically possible but practically she would need to be in the HoR.
    Good luck finding someone willing to give up a seat for her.

  163. JC

    No, the “result” is not what the polls convey. The polls show that x number of people being asked their voting intentions on a particular day and the aggregation is their responses. You can use a poll to make a prediction for the election, but it tjhat’s not what it’s saying.

  164. Armadillo

    he’s still wrestling with his inner conservative demons

    I’ll keep faith in him. The dude is going to be more right wing than Tommy Robinson by the time he turns 60.

  165. vlad

    This is probably the wrong thread, but what was Shorten thinking, saying in the biggest speech of his campaign, “the door is ajar”.

    What’s wrong with the door is open?

    Ajar? Who talks like that now? He might have well as said, “It’s betimes!”

  166. candy

    Anyway, we’re not thinking diplomatically. What enemy (or potential threat) does Morrison have, who would be willing to accept the post?

    I’m think they will pick a lady to get the keep the independent types happy. I really don’t see picking Abbott would help Morrison. Not that he needs help, but just saying in general how these new gender rules apply.

  167. Diogenes

    offered positions first. It’s hard to see him being an ambassador though, the cocktail circuit and fluffy speeches.

    Mrs Abbott having a ‘proper’ job would also prevent this.

    Appoint him to the senate at the first Lib vacancy. Can’t be accused of being divisive as he can’t be PM, will make all the right (as in correct) heads explode, and draw the cockroaches out into the light. Even better if he is amde Ag, Minister for Education of Environment

  168. Eyrie

    “Good luck finding someone willing to give up a seat for her.”
    Oh, I duuno, a horse’s head on the end of Tit’s bed in the morning ought to do it. Maybe a shovel at his front door?

  169. Fleeced

    Also the exit polls are notoriously unreliable.

    I’d also add that the so-called “shy tory” syndrome isn’t just that LNP supporters fear criticism as is often reported (though that may be a part). I think conservatives are, by nature… uh, conservative. More reserved. Less flamboyant in boasting who they voted for.

    Polls always have a column for “Don’t know”, but they don’t include a column for the number of people who said, “Not interested”. Probably because people would laugh at the percentage of people who do so, but they really need to factor that number into their margin of error. If you’ve got 50% of people saying “go away” to the pollsters, then that’s going to result in a larger margin of error than if you’ve only got 10% saying it.

  170. Mark A

    Armadillo
    #3020408, posted on May 20, 2019 at 6:40 pm

    How do we really know the polls were wrong though?

    The result.

    Precisely, this was a staid election campaign, virtually nothing exciting was announced or happened during the campaign, let alone the last few days.

    People knew what they were going to do.

  171. Diogenes

    amde Ag, Minister for Education of Environment

    Fingers are a bit dyslexic tonight
    make him AG, Minister for Education, or Environment

  172. Armadillo

    They skewed the polls, JC. Simple as that.

  173. MsDolittle

    What is this “d” word of which you speak?

    Dams.

  174. Tel

    Sportsbet offering 20:1 on Penny Wong as leader… they do realise she’s a senator, right? I mean, that’s allowed, but…

    The Australian Constitution does not define any office of “Prime Minister” and since the office does not exist in a Constitutional sense, there are no particular requirements. Leader of the opposition is similarly undefined and largely a symbolic office at best. Whoever the party are willing to follow is the leader.

  175. Ubique

    Dams and waste incinerators produce the only useful renewable energy to be had.

    Stop for a moment to think that Australia used a greater percentage of renewable energy in 1970 (20%) than it does today, courtesy of hydro. After that we stopped building dams and the percentage of hydro in the energy mix fell as population grew.

  176. Farmer Gez

    I might be imagining it but Credlin just interviewed Matt Canavan and he seemed to be speaking more freely about grand schemes for the country.
    The fear of losing is past and old ScoMo might just surprise us with some truly ambitious infrastructure projects.
    Coal power stations and dams would be a good start.

  177. HP

    Percy Popinjay,
    Couple of points to note, though: voting was voluntary in Brexit and US Presidential Elections. That makes it far harder to poll as they first have to figure out who’s going to show up. In contrast, here that bit at least is pretty clear.

    Beyond that, we have seen a couple of high profile left-faction frontbench Libs, most notably Julie Bishop, Pyne leave very publicly, trying to sink the ship. Media was gleefully penning down their damaging stories. Then there is Turnbull on the sidelines making very unhelpful comments, also aimed at sinking the ship. Also his remarks got so much media coverage it was getting somewhat annoying (as in: why the hell is this news… again? I remember thinking that very thing several times.). Julia Banks does her toxic thing, encouraged by Turnbull moves to the crossbench, then leaves her seat to run in another against another Lib bankrolled by Turnbull jr..

    I thought it was all a bit too much: it felt orchestrated, manipulated.

    Now over the top of all that, the results are in and -surprise- all the polls leading up to the election are off by a country mile across the board.

    It may not be a bad idea to approach this from a different angle: not talk about shy tories. But instead: who did what here and why? What happened here?

  178. Atoms for Peace

    Who would wear a better suit. The Wong chap or Albo?

  179. Leigh Lowe

    How do we really know the polls were wrong though? We Ccn never know that. We can never know that the turn didn’t occur on polling day.

    I could believe that if a photo of Tits fellating a camel turned up on Friday night, but we are suggesting that somewhere between 250,000 and 500,000 people had a spontaneous change of mind in the booth.
    Oh, and they had a back-flip on the way out the door of the booth before they met the exit pollster.
    Yeah, nah.
    The polls fucked up.
    John Black made a good point today. That is, pollsters who use landline contacts are going to get lots of white-collars working from home.

  180. cohenite

    Dams and waste incinerators produce the only useful renewable energy to be had.

    Ist stage nuclear fission produces an almost infinitely more powerful fuel, plutonium. Nuclear is renewable. Actually so is coal. You burn coal which is fossilised plants which releases CO2 which causes more plants to grow, die and become coal.

  181. Armadillo

    Sportsbet offering 20:1 on Penny Wong as leader…

    They were offering Barnaby Joyce as next PM at similar odds prior to the election. I’m detecting a pattern here.

  182. Done Deal

    My early Monday morning experiences in the city:
    Catch glimpse of ABC breakfast TV show, resident airhead trioli’s usual vacant McHappy smile nowhere in sight
    Come across young Asian mother public-servant of see around the place, went to automatically acknowledge the expected usual plastic charming greeting. Not there, just completely ignored, scowl on face?
    In lift when forty-ish commonwealth public service lady enters, wearing voluminous red shirt. Doesn’t look left or right, up or down. Turns and faces doors, legs stiff, feet wide apart, all the way rocks sideways back and forth, actually lifting each foot, like someone in a trance.
    Two more middle age cardigan type commonwealth publics overheard talking: “I am devasted, I don’t want to talk to anyone from Queensland!, she wasn’t joking. (Commonwealth Public servants all pretty much on a promise for initial 4% wage increase if labor got up.)
    Went into coffee shop next to commonwealth govt building: hard working owner, usually looks harried and overworked. Seemed a bit cheerful, I asked him what he thought of the result. Face lit up with a huge smile, “fantastic”.
    ….leaners & lifters
    True strory

  183. egg_

    Where can we donate to fund Bob’s 2022 Green convoys into mining heartland to tell the workers to forego their jobs. Hunter region should be a priority.

    +1

    Their GreenReich are the gift that keeps on giving – thanks, Bob Brown-Thumb.

  184. Cassie of Sydney

    “The dude is going to be more right wing than Tommy Robinson by the time he turns 60.”

    Calling Tommy Robinson “right wing” is buying into the leftist narrative…that if your for nationalism, strong borders, Brexit, free speech and so on….then you’re labelled right wing, far-right, hard right and even a nazi. Tommy Robinson is a working class lad…he is a patriot…..traditional British Labour….which is why the establishment loathe him.

  185. egg_

    Sportsbet offering 20:1 on Penny Wong as leader…

    She’s got a double-ended baton in her backpack?

  186. MsDolittle

    People knew what they were going to do.

    They did. I handed out all day in Chisholm (you can see how effective I was, oh wait). At least half refused all “HTV cards”, especially the young. Reckon, like me, they had it preplanned on their phones.

  187. Ƶĩppʯ (ȊꞪꞨV)

    Salty tears
    When a guy ejaculates into a girls eye while she is crying
    friend: hey dude what were you up to last night?
    Guy: just giving my girlfriend salty tears

  188. Arky

    So am I correct in saying the only electoral effect Turnbull had was to depress the liberals vote in the election contested while he was PM and lose a record number of news polls in the same period?

  189. John64

    Good luck finding someone willing to give up a seat for her.

    If Turtlehead Bowen had a shred of decency about him he resign and force a by election.

    He owns this Liars train wreck every bit as much as Tits.

    “If you don’t like our policies, don’t vote for us.”

    Hundreds of thousands took his sage advice.

    (Plus he was the most incompetent Immigration Minister of all time.)

  190. MsDolittle

    double-ended baton

    I have missed you guys.

  191. Eyrie

    “If Turtlehead Bowen had a shred of decency about him he resign and force a by election.”
    I suppose seppuku is out of the question?

  192. Nick

    At least half refused all “HTV cards”, especially the young. Reckon, like me, they had it preplanned on their phones.

    I had this young millennial trendy on a push bike ride pass me on the way to the booth in deepest Greenland, hearing him say that he was voting for ScoMo. Go figure.

  193. Arky

    Dropped off the A’s steering shaft to a local dude to do some machining.
    Bloke had a bloody great big traction engine in his shed.

  194. MsDolittle

    voting for ScoMo. Go figure.

    It’s a miracle.

  195. Atoms for Peace

    Bowen is now a post turtle. He’s not going anywhere

  196. None

    The polls are wrong and they keep getting it wrong for a number of reasons some of which have been correctly identified above but the main reason is because there is an ever shrinking base of rusted ons and there’s an increasing percentage of what is called mercenary voters. I would say that the internal pollsters who conduct very fine tuned surveys and campaigns would have known what the chances were.

    For example it was already known that Tony Abbott would have won if they hadn’t dumped him and that’s why Turnbull had to go when he did with the lie that they couldn’t win Canning even though all the internals there as well said they certainly would. He knew that Tony Abbott would win the next election and would be set up to be a long serving Prime Minister denying him any opportunity of having a go.

    Tony Abbott also knew that he was going to be facing a shitfight in Warringah that made the call that he was going to go down fighting. This is also why the liberals offered him absolutely zero support.

    Morrison basically also knew the same when Dutton made a run for it – remember Dutton as an individual had the most support in the liberal party room and probably still does and believe you me the country would have voted for Dutton as well. The fact is anyone but Malcolm Turnbull would have won this election.

    The only figure I have a look at for news poll is the primary vote gets that will give you the reason will idea of where you heading and it was heading up for the liberals in the last week’s and that’s the only figure that mattered.

  197. min

    True Thai massage got into Hansard after a visit there by Albanese. Those checking up on him after waiting an hour for him to emerge ,found that some dubious services were offered such as Rub and Tug. As this is a sex service in an electorate where that sort of thing is illegal and it was his electorate , it was not the he chose to use such places ,it was that it was illegal.
    His excuse ,he had aback ache after a flight , never mind that there is a physiotherist next to his office. If he gets the job blogs wiill be full of the story.

  198. egg_

    Done Deal
    #3020440, posted on May 20, 2019 at 6:56 pm

    Watercooler talk at work (Multinational H.O.):

    – Where will we be now without bipartisanism? – Banking Royal Commission, et al (Turnbull was a good egg to the Left?)
    – What will happen to our recycling programs, now? – Well, surely they can’t stop us doing that?!

    /First World Problems

    50+% of the population were obviously hoodwinked?
    /Michael Mann

  199. C.L.

    Most hilarious site header EVER.
    Ahahahahahaha.

  200. Arky

    Oh.
    There is already a thread on how shit Turnbull was.

  201. Exit Stage Right

    Top Ender

    My $50.00 is in the mail. So looking forward to my Participation Certificate that I can hang with the others.

  202. candy

    Not only the primary vote for the Libs was going up but the difficult seats were mostly in their favour in the last week showing individual seat polls. I think things sharpened quickly in voters’ minds in just those 2 or so weeks at the end of the campaign but started with Shorten’s dumb EV stuff and other totally daft policies and his insincere demeanour.
    People got a good look at him and thought, no, not good enough. But Morrison came across so well and campaign was excellent.

  203. Empire 5:5

    MsDolittle
    #3020450, posted on May 20, 2019 at 7:00 pm

    double-ended baton

    I have missed you guys.

    G’day Dolittle. Are you rejoicing disaster’s modest defeat of catastrophe?

  204. Bruce of Newcastle

    They skewed the polls, JC. Simple as that.

    You make the Libs seem on the nose.
    You make up stories about them being on the nose.
    Suddenly they’re on the nose.
    Lies work or liars wouldn’t lie.

  205. MsDolittle

    “It’s likely that more than half the world population of southern black-throated finches is found on the Adani lease”

    So there’s another half? Sweet.

  206. Cassie of Sydney

    From The Oz……”ABC managing director David Anderson has warned staff the national broadcaster faces a $14.6 million “cut” to its budget from the start of the new financial year after the re-election of the Coalition.”

    Just $14.6 million “cut”….how about a one billion dollar cut.

  207. stackja

    Q&A Coming Up: Monday, 20 May 2019
    Jim Chalmers, Shadow Minister for Finance
    Christopher Pyne, Former Liberal MP
    Alice Workman, Political reporter, The Australian [someone here said ex-Buzzfeed]
    Ming Long, Business leader
    Business Leader
    Ming Long, FCA, is a respected leader in the director community with over 25 years of experience in a broad range of businesses including real estate, media and education. She spent 11 years at Investa Property Group with assets under management of ~$11bn as CEO, CFO and other senior executive roles including leading their ~$3bn listed REIT. Ming is Chairman of AMP Capital Funds Management, Deputy Chair at Diversity Council of Australia and is on an advisory board to grow Fintech in Melbourne. She holds a Bachelor of Economics and Law from the University of Sydney, and an MBA from the University of Technology, Sydney.
    Alan Jones, Radio Broadcaster

    AJ will have fun!

  208. cohenite

    What a shock; sleazebag hawker on Bolta is a strong believer in global warming.

    If scomo is clever he can keep the liars in opposition for years.

  209. Tel

    Tommy Robinson is a working class lad…he is a patriot…..traditional British Labour….which is why the establishment loathe him.

    That’s correct and UKIP are now an organized party taken over by very like minded people.

    The traditional “Tory” side of the brexit movement have followed Farage.

  210. John64

    True Thai massage got into Hansard after a visit there by Albanese.

    “Therapeutic Albo” is one of the great nicknames.

  211. Armadillo

    Lies work or liars wouldn’t lie.

    Exactly spot on.

  212. Old School Conservative

    “Ms Wilkinson – a TV host and journalist – took to Ten Daily to slam the toxic culture of Australian politics”

    Then we have:
    Meshel Laurie – “Australians are dumb, mean-spirited and greedy.”
    Jane Caro – “Well, Australia may be f … ed and the whole planet not far behind but I am at the best, most brilliant and cool wedding I have ever been too. So I shall just dance & get pissed & stick two rude fingers up at all the truculent turds who voted to turn backwards.

    Who sends political tweets at their daughter’s wedding?

  213. HP

    Follow the money.

    Yep.
    I’d recommend to start with Alex Turnbull’s investments and how those depend on:
    1. the outcome of this election
    2. any green spending promises he can squeeze out of MP’s during an election campaign
    3. knocking out conservative resistance on going big on “action on climate change” and making it look like that was the reason they got voted out (setting an example for those conservatives that remain)

    I wonder what the reason is that he deleted the content of his twitter account. So far it is tacitly assumed it was a tantrum. I am not so sure.

  214. Arky

    Libs should keep the ABC funded.
    It is useful to keep all the toxic shit within the one place.
    You bust that thing up and you just spread the contagion like an exploding colostomy bag.
    No bastard under 80 watches it anyway.

  215. Cassie of Sydney

    I don’t know about others….but I have felt very happy today…I joined some fellow Cats for a fabulous election party on Saturday night and yesterday was a little “worse for wear” from it….but today I jumped out of bed…..feeling very good….I don’t think ScoMo is perfect….but effing hell….he and the Liberals are a lot better than BS and his fellow greedy socialist mobsters.

  216. Nick

    “It’s likely that more than half the world population of southern black-throated finches is found on the Adani lease”

    What a coincidence that is !

  217. Atoms for Peace

    HP. Years of being interrupted at home by shysters spruiking solar panels and other scams, has lot of us quite snarly when answering the phone. Pollsters operate in that environment at their peril.. Don’t go looking for zebras .

  218. Empire 5:5

    Arky
    #3020447, posted on May 20, 2019 at 7:00 pm
    So am I correct in saying the only electoral effect Turnbull had was to depress the liberals vote in the election contested while he was PM and lose a record number of news polls in the same period?

    What if the best is yet to come? What if his name becomes synonymous with quisling?

  219. John64

    From The Oz……”ABC managing director David Anderson has warned staff the national broadcaster faces a $14.6 million “cut” to its budget from the start of the new financial year after the re-election of the Coalition.”

    Absolute dissembling bullshit.

    There’s no cut to TheirABC’s budget. Banking on the incoming Shortenreich, they’ve already factored into next year’s budget the extra $14.6 million promised by the Liars.

  220. Cassie of Sydney

    I might even watch Q&A tonight….for the first time in seven years.

  221. egg_

    “It’s likely that more than half the world population of southern black-throated finches is found on the Adani lease”

    Brown probably deep-throated the report(er)?

  222. John64

    Who sends political tweets at their daughter’s wedding?

    Someone who’s three-parts full on the free-flow champers for starters.

  223. Cassie of Sydney

    “I wonder what the reason is that he deleted the content of his twitter account. So far it is tacitly assumed it was a tantrum. I am not so sure.”

    Agree HP….Turd Jnr is a sly, venal and vicious cretin and carpetbagger…..he used that twitter account to deliberately destabilise the Coalition and particularly Abbott, Dutton, Hunt and Flint….Turd Jnr succeeded with Abbott….I reckon he gave a lot of money to GetUp. We haven’t seen the last of him.

  224. None

    I know Old School; to have Jane Caro tweet that sort of dreck from her daughter’s wedding and even admit that she was at her wedding just tells you how demented that woman is.

  225. MsDolittle

    Are you rejoicing disaster’s modest defeat of catastrophe?

    No time to rejoice. There are still plenty of arrogant doctors’ wives trying to Stop Adani in Kooyong. I have received complaints about my “Sick of the Greens” A-frame out front. Bring it bitches.

  226. Frank

    Tits in hiding down a Beaconsfield mine shaft. His political career started with a mining collapse, it ends with miners kicking the shit out of him.

    Richard Carleton smiles.

  227. MsDolittle

    I might even watch Q&A tonight….for the first time in seven years.

    #metoo!

  228. JC

    I have received complaints about my “Sick of the Greens” A-frame out front.

    Really? Deep down they know they are fascists and don’t like being reminded.

  229. Armadillo

    Who sends political tweets at their daughter’s wedding?

    Who sends ANY tweets from their daughters wedding? FFS.

  230. Atoms for Peace

    Mrs D. You should commission a Neville garden statue holding a sick of greens placard. Escalate.

  231. Roger

    Zero self-awareness:

    Sales & Tingle, who got it so spectacularly wrong prior to the election, now presume to explain to us what happened in the election.

    Sorry ladies, your credibility is at a discount.

    Will the ABC revise your salaries accordingly?

  232. Dr Fred Lenin

    Zulu rearding that testicle. See a doctor mate ,dont mess with your health oldbe a sign of prostate cancer ,lost a good mate from that ,from that ,he must. Have ignored the signals ,its more common that you would think. An ounce of. Prevention is better than a ton of cure .

  233. MsDolittle

    Really? Deep down they know they are fascists and don’t like being reminded.

    Really. Then they ask “Don’t you care about your children?” Nah – their arrogance makes them oblivious. And very rude.

  234. None

    That Richmond safe injecting room is just a gift that keeps on giving.

  235. Cassie of Sydney

    There is nothing good to say about Jane Caro…..absolutely nothing. The fact that she, an utterly vulgar mediocrity, is given airtime as well as various platforms to spruik her garbage is a sad indictment of our media. She is now even being paid by corporations (including the company I work for) to sprout her vicious and vindictive garbage.

  236. Roger

    Libs should keep the ABC funded. It is useful to keep all the toxic shit within the one place.

    Too late, Arky. With few exceptions, all journalists, no matter who employs them, are left of centre these days.

  237. MsDolittle

    Neil Erikson – gets the Thug Life sunnies today.

  238. cohenite

    Libs should keep the ABC funded.
    It is useful to keep all the toxic shit within the one place.

    No, exactly the opposite. The abc gives credibility and focus to the left; arguably the left in Australia, as in the US only survives through msm support. Gut the media outlets and you gut the left.

  239. Armadillo

    I might even watch Q&A tonight….for the first time in seven years.

    Don’t do it.

  240. Fleeced

    I might even watch Q&A tonight….for the first time in seven years.

    Yeah, they’ll find a way to harsh your buzz.

  241. Infidel Tiger

    The woke AFL are now trying to suspend a player who called an umpire “a cheat” in the heat of the moment.

    No lessons learned. Onward comrades.

  242. Roger

    Labor’s problem:

    It used to be the party of the workers.

    Now it’s the party of those who don’t work (at both ends of the economic spectrum).

  243. Cassie of Sydney

    “It comes as Alex Turnbull labelled former prime minster and Tony Abbott a “terrorist” and expressed his delight at the former prime minister’s election defeat in the seat of Warringah.

    “I am very happy I got rid of Tony,” he told 9 News, also acknowledging the grassroots campaign behind independent victor Zali Steggall.

    “Tony was very much a terrorist.”

    I think it’s time that Turd Jnr received some of his own medicine. You can’t turn the other cheek to this putrid nastiness.

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