Emma Alberici: A Victim of Domestic Appliance

I read with sorrow this morning that Emma Alberici had been admitted to hospital over the weekend, a victim of senseless domestic appliance.

Emma Alberici’s injuries to her fingers were caused while cleaning a stick blender used in the preparation of her daily wheat germ and kale colonic.

This raises serious questions about male privilege, structural inequality and unconscious mysogyny pertaining to how Emma could have been cleaning a kitchen appliance in the first place.

It is well established in the sociological and feminist literature the importance of patriarchy in the etiology of domestic appliance and this is just one more tragic example.

While Emma’s fingers were thankfully saved, MRI scans showed the absence of a left side to her brain (which enables the right) which specialists believe may have caused her to put her fingers into the blades in the first place, not to mention with the appliance turned on.

Thankfully, as Emma’s brave tweet from hospital has shown, not even missing fingers or half a brain will stop her intrepid reporting.

I nominate Emma for The Stella Prize as a great writer and courageous feminist, not fishing for celebrity or sympathy but courageously exposing toxic male gender stereotypes through her own painful experience.

Get well soon Emma.

Please note: If you feel you have been asked to cook or clean or are being intimidated by a domestic appliance please call 1800-GENDERBLENDER. Help is a phone call away. 

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69 Responses to Emma Alberici: A Victim of Domestic Appliance

  1. Jock

    Honestly I dont want to read about her sex life!!!

  2. Clam Chowdah

    That’s a bit of a shit post, to be honest.

  3. Clam Chowdah
    #3044561, posted on June 17, 2019 at 11:48 am
    That’s a bit of a shit post, to be honest.

    I concur. It does not add anything and belittles this blog

  4. stackja

    Poor Poor Pitiful Me

    Put me through some changes Lord
    Sort of like a Waring blender

  5. calli

    How do you injure yourself with a stick blender? Seriously?

    I’ve seen smarter concrete.

  6. calli

    Perhaps even smarter concrete would decline to comment.

  7. duncanm

    Only a child would put their finger deep into a stick blender while a) having it plugged in, b) having the socket turned on and c) turning on the blender switch.

    Does she stick knives into toasters, too?

    I do have sympathy for her; being a parent, I know how children can hurt themselves.

  8. duncanm

    https://twitter.com/albericie/status/1140352333936644096

    Advice: Don’t put fingers in stick blender blade to wash it while it’s still plugged in to the power.

    FMD.

  9. Cementafriend

    Clam, I think it is a good post. I hope Emma gets to read it and realises that she id not capable of understanding many things especially economics and tax. Also few are interested in her state of mind.

  10. John64

    Coulda been worse.

    Coulda been an electric turkey baster.

  11. Percy Popinjay

    Do ALPBC “employees” receive domestic appliance violence leave?

  12. “Percy Popinjay
    #3044638, posted on June 17, 2019 at 12:54 pm
    Do ALPBC “employees” receive domestic appliance violence leave?”

    Percy….I reckon that’s next on the list…paid for by you and me.

  13. Missed out on a Darwin Award. Better luck next time.

  14. Dr Fred Lenin

    Justinian you are a sarcastic guy ,’I like you ,Calli too right , I use my stick blender to make filling for cannole,always switch it off disconnect then clean ,simple ,and I dont have a b.a. in journalism ,but my fingers are very healthy and intact. Love to see the pretentious pulled down a peg ,I can imagine the doctor saying in disbelief “you put our fingers in a live blender ??:”
    (I make cannole to die for people kep asking “when are you making more “ ? )

  15. Mother Lode

    I wonder if these are the fingers she was counting with when she wrote that article on tax cuts that led to such an outbreak of twittering – and here I mean ‘twitter’ as in giggle.

    Now she is nursing her repaired digits (and this is a good thing – there is no delight in seeing people hurt, injured or maimed) and grateful that our taxes are spent on hospitals. But just imagine how our health system would be if it was about doctors, nurses and beds, rather than contingency plans for Global Warming, reach out groups to grievance groups, research into feminist medicine, and great vistas of shiny-bum bureaucrats rooted to the spot and swaying lazily like a field of wheat.

  16. Old School Conservative

    Clam Chowdah
    #3044561, posted on June 17, 2019 at 11:48 am
    That’s a bit of a shit post, to be honest.

    On the other hand, having “journalists” make themselves the centre of news stories is a trend we need to made aware of.
    If anyone else did this only their family would know. But Emma makes it front page news, including her recovery photo. “ABC employee sleeps after operation!!!!”
    The less we see of their personal lives, the more we can focus on the real news.

  17. Percy Popinjay

    Speaking of domestic appliance violence, I bought a new kettle a few months ago and it has the most ridiculous design flaw – if you open the lid just after the kettle has boiled (i.e. to refill it) steam condenses and runs from the lid down the handle, then scalding your hand (should you be holding it).

    A mild inconvenience compared to bridges designed by feminists that are likely to collapse at any time. Or shoddily built apartment blocks that develop massive cracks and are then rendered uninhabitable.

    More examples of collectivist idiocy increasingly endangering peoples’ lives.

  18. Percy Popinjay

    make themselves the centre of news stories

    By demonstrating their complete ignorance of (extremely) basic accounting principles, for example.

  19. JohnL

    …Emma’s fingers were thankfully saved…

    Fingers were saved but [edited. Sinc]

  20. Shy Ted

    In that Twitter pic the little machine shows a complete absence of brain activity so the MRI must be wrong.

  21. Suburban Boy

    I thought the currently preferred terminology was family appliance.

  22. Dr Fred Lenin
    #3044648, posted on June 17, 2019 at 1:09 pm
    I can imagine the doctor saying in disbelief “you put our fingers in a live blender ??:”
    (I make cannole to die for people kep asking “when are you making more “ ? )

    Leave the finger tips, take the cannole.

  23. pbw

    There are wowsers about today. I get their drift, but given the garbage Emma and her gaggle spout time and time again about domestic “violence” (in scare quotes), it is fair, and amusing, comment.
    See Duluth Model.

  24. Clam Chowdah

    Clam, I think it is a good post. I hope Emma gets to read it and realises that she id not capable of understanding many things especially economics and tax. Also few are interested in her state of mind.

    Whatever, matey.

  25. Megan

    An old fashioned mixmaster almost fatally electrocuted me as a teenager, while I was attempting to make the family a cake. I have been exceedingly wary of domestic appliances ever since and consistently give them a wide berth.

  26. Diogenes

    I would like to nominate Ms Alberici for an OAM for her services to education. A colleague had spent the first half of a split double (ie 2 periods in a day same class) explaining to the boys why adjusting saw blades, router bits etc on a live tools is not a good thing.

    In the 2nd half he showed them her tweet , argument over ! (And lots of comments that were not very flattering )

  27. The Fifth Bike Rider of the Apocalypse

    There are a lot of mean people in the world and many of them seem to be posting their ‘amusing’ comments on this blog today about Ms Alberici’s unfortunate accident.

    How gallant of you.

    On behalf of Ms Alberici, I suggest you all go and fuck yourselves

  28. Mother Lode

    Leave the finger tips, take the cannole.

    Ha!

  29. Iain Russell

    Oddly, I am with Clam Chowder on this. Who cares about Alberici? She is just another numpty in the sheltered workshop who wouldn’t know an EBIT from her @$%^hole.

  30. Pedro the Ignorant

    I am astonished that Ms Alberici was actually cleaning a kitchen implement.

    Where were the servants?

  31. Leigh Lowe

    Alternate Headline …

    ABC Economics Correspondent Suffers Loss of Abacus Capacity.

  32. Politenessman

    Maybe those in the ABC sheltered workshop need a bit more supervision. I’d also suggest someone ensure that the safety corks have not been removed from Emmas kitchen forks, she could put an eye out.

  33. Was it plugged in to live power while being washed under water in the sink?

  34. gowest

    So much for the “two things at once” myth

  35. Justinian the Great

    Wow. Quite a few wowsers and grumps out there today who completely miss the point of humour and irony.

    It was a piss take on Emma and her Lefty ilk who love to inflate everything into victim and identity politics. People who see ordinary things as validation of progressive battle lines and find grievance at every turn.

    People who have no problem spouting fake news for the progressive cause (i.e. water buy backs and corruption during the election).

    I found it ironic and hence kinda funny that poor Emma came undone performing such a stereotypical gender role. And I therefore couldn’t resist the urge to make a humorous point.

    That point being that overreach and identity politics is shallow, easy and typically absurd. My post was deliberately absurd.

    I also couldn’t resist having a dig at someone who puts herself on a pedestal as being smarter than the rest of society.

    For the record I would not wish any harm to poor Emma.

    It is not funny that she got hurt, just the irony of how it happened.

    If there had not been a happy ending (all fingers still typing furiously even on her sick bed) I wouldn’t have written it.

    I sincerely hope she makes a speedy recovery.

    People, get a grip!

  36. Clam Chowdah

    We get it. It was just shit. Try harder.

  37. Its a little bit like when a bloke gets hit in the nuts with a cricket ball. It isn’t funny, but the girls always have a bit of a snigger.

  38. Karabar

    Justinian we all need a chuckle now and again.
    Some day soon I expect we will read about AOC sticking her head in the garbage disposal or something.
    It must have something to do with being a luvvie.
    Years ago, (about 30) a Leftie named Pierre Burton actually stuck his hand in a big blender on national television in Canada (the CBC).
    He was trying to fish something out of it while it was running.
    There was blood everywhere.

  39. Muddy

    Ridicule is just one of many tools we might embrace.
    Or we could continue the same polite debate in an echo chamber that has worked so well for us for 50+ years now.
    Tough choice.
    Make sure you don’t raise your voice or blaspheme as they (metaphorically) gut you.

  40. billie

    oh, thankfully I finshed the first glass of shadenfreude before reading this column

    such is life

    look, being civil and seemingly virtuous to the filth doesn’t change anything, ask any conservative leader

    thanks jock, stackja and calli, but Gold goes to john64 .. I can’t help it if I’m easily amused folks

    life is too short to be constantly terrified of offending and I can’t live my life always afraid of what someone might think of me or what I read or those who amuse me with their wit

  41. davo

    she’s a moron; as good at cooking/cleaning as she is at economics. Studying italian didn’t help much for either. A candidate for a minor ‘Darwin’ award, but there article is in bad taste…Poor

  42. Leo G

    Emma Alberici’s injuries to her fingers were caused while cleaning a stick blender …

    Emma should take heart that it could have been worse. Imagine the same type of accident- but with a “boat motor” stick blender as used for making purees.
    Not even particularly embarrassing.

  43. John64

    Alternate Headline …

    ABC Economics Correspondent Suffers Loss of Abacus Capacity.

    I was definitely thinking along similar lines but my effort is more tabloid:

    ABC Economics Correspondent Now Can’t Count Past Eight

  44. egg_

    She was making a Bloody Mary?

  45. egg_

    She was making Clam Chowdah?

  46. egg_

    Was it plugged in to live power while being washed under water in the sink?

    Leftoids defy the Laws of Nature.

  47. Very bad taste.
    But, I’m would love to witness her return to the water cooler.
    Will there be any smirking or sniggering?

  48. Very bad taste.
    But, I’m would love to witness her return to the water cooler.
    Will there be any smirking or sniggering?

  49. nb

    Expect an argument that the decimal system is handist, and any numerical system, for example base nine, must be permitted.
    That’ll allow Emma to continue using her economics calculator.

  50. Adelagado

    I can’t say that’s one of the better posts I’ve read on Catallaxy.

    But anyway, when I read the news about Alberici my first thought was ‘What the hell are all these ABC ‘stars’ doing for their enormous wages?’ I haven’t seen Alberici on air for ages. Ferguson and Jones are having a working holiday. Leigh Sales is irregular on 7.30, Crabb just seems to drop in when it suits her, The Drum has a revolving team of hosts, and God knows how many sports, finance, and political correspondents they’ve got but they don’t seem to rack up a lot of airtime each.

    A job at the ABC must be a great gig if you can get one. Journo’s in the increasingly shaky world of private media must look on with envy.

  51. egg_

    Emma had a safety tip – but she left it in the sink.

  52. Howard Hill

    Shame it wasn’t her tongue. I’m sure it would been long enough to reach.
    Now that would be news!

  53. Pedro the Ignorant

    Well played, egg. 😀

  54. Arky

    This is the best post ever.
    Snork!
    Well done.
    Justinian, you are indeed great.
    The only way it could have improved is if you had included the word “wang”.
    Maybe from now on refer to the silly bint as Fingerwang.

  55. Frank Walker from National Tiles

    At the end of the day, this woman tells us all how to live our lives and is part of the establishment.

  56. Tel

    It’s a bit nasty to revel is others’ misfortune … but every stick blender I’ve known has the stick part with blades removable so you can wash it without getting water into the electrical parts.

    Am I the only person who reads instruction sheets?

  57. Pedro the Ignorant

    Real men don’t need no steenking instructions.

  58. Pedro the Ignorant

    Geez, there are some humourless po faced people here.

  59. candy

    Not cool, Justinian.

    I shudder at the thought of a nasty accident like that. Her right hand I think so makes things difficult, etc, if her dominant hand.

  60. Tom Appleton

    An episode of “Luther” comes to mind, where a man deliberately puts his fingers into a blender to prevent the taking of a set of fingerprints. [“Luther” Series 3 Ep 1]

  61. feelthebern

    Justinian, this post is a dick move dude.
    Total dick move.

  62. The woman didn’t die.
    The woman didn’t even lose fingers.
    She was happy enough to rush to social media to let her millions of adoring fans know she’s fine.
    Yet Cat posters here are tut tutting a bit of dark humour from the rest of us.

    Telling us not to make fun because she was physically hurt is but one small step away from telling us not to make fun because she was emotionally hurt.
    That’s how you get a section 18c up your anal track.

    At least have the guts to write “this is not who we are” and be done with it.

  63. egg_

    There goes the Infomercial twilight career.

  64. Up The Workers!

    “Wheat germ and kale colonic???

    Lots of A.L.P.B.C. folk are full of it.

    Must be a vagitarian thing.

    Never happens to non-Lefty carnivores.

  65. Up The Workers!

    Now that Emma Alberici has partially aborted herself, I wonder whether she is still quite so confident that human dismemberment is not the least bit painful?

  66. Up The Workers!

    What was Emma making for tea…finger food?

  67. Enyaw

    John L…depends upon if she is right or left handed … , I would imagine left ?.

  68. rickw

    Only a child would put their finger deep into a stick blender while a) having it plugged in, b) having the socket turned on and c) turning on the blender switch.

    This is why the Media Class hate guns.

    They are personally incompetent enough to have a near fatal accident with a stick blender.

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