The Conversation Commissioner

Today, Commonwealth Attorney General Christian Porter announced plans to bring forward legislation to establish a Conversation Commissioner.  The Conversation Commissioner, will be another addition to the Australian Human Rights Commission to supplement the soon to be added Religious Rights Commissioner.

The establishment of the Conversation Commissioner is in response to the recent editorial position of the Conversation website to “moderate climate change deniers“.  The Australian Human Rights Act will also be amended to make it illegal to block views and comments on the Conversation which might “offend, insult, humiliate or intimidate” the editorial views of a mostly government funded organisation.

Attorney Porter said:

We have this wonderful legal infrastructure in the AHRC, an infrastructure that allows wise and moral people to chaperone Australians.  We should build it up and not tear it down.

A spokesman for the Attorney said that plans are being drafted to establish an ABC Commissioner, an SBS Commissioner, a Nine Entertainment Commissioner and a Sky News Commissioner.

The spokesman said also that the absence of direct government funding (in the case of Nine and Sky) should not be a barrier for Government bureaucrats to ensure that news and information complies with Government policy.

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35 Responses to The Conversation Commissioner

  1. Exit Stage Right

    The spokesman said also that the absence of direct government funding (in the case of Nine and Sky) should not be a barrier for Government bureaucrats to ensure that news and information complies with Government policy.

    Wow, so non-government funded news organisations should comply with Government policy in respect of news and information.
    No way Jose. That’s not freedom of the press.

  2. C.L.

    Meant to be satire but reads as entirely believable in contemporary Australia.

  3. Bruce of Newcastle

    Nice work TAKFAS! Send your resume to the Babylon Bee if you want to break into the big time like Miranda Devine.

    On a more serious note how about a real Free Speech Ombudsperson? Just the words “free” and “speech” linked together would impart terror in many kolkhozniks. Such a person could indeed wield the big stick of the bureaucracy on lots of deserving people in universities, quasi-government bodies like Conversation and of course the ABC and SBS. He, she or it could have Inquiries and force ABC journos to front up and explain why Qanda is an echo chamber and the Drum is completely cracked.

  4. Exit Stage Right

    Sorry, TAFKAS, missed your little joke with the last two comments.
    Bit slow today.

  5. Roger

    Satire aside, tt should be noted that The Conversation receives little direct government funding.

    The situation is much worse, and reveals the tentacles of the academic-corporate complex that is the greatest threat to our way of life at present.

    Most of their funding comes indirectly from government via the universities.

    The CSIRO also get a nod (Hello!), along with various corporate entities and several philanthropic foundations.

    Or should that be misanthropic foundations?

    The one government agency that is a direct financial contributor is, strangely, the research arm of the Department for Agriculture and Water Resources. I wonder if David Littleproud is aware of that?

  6. Up The Workers!

    Tongue-in-cheek, but surely no less draconian than the totalitarian suppression of free speech and freedom of thought that is proposed by “The Soliloquy” (formerly known as “The Conversation” until the other half was unilaterally made Verboten!)

  7. nfw

    Oh good, more make work public servants and totalitarian authoritarian diktats on their way. Good thing parliament just can’t handle with, oh what’s that called, legislation? Better for politicians to run and hide and then blame it on the “impartial” commissioner. We all know where that impartiality leans don’t we?

  8. ACTOldFart

    Neat satire, had me going for a while. But TAFKAS missed the most important commissioner of all, The Commissioner For Chats Around The Kitchen Table. A pity Dr TrigGoebbels has left for other shores, she would be ideal for the position.

  9. egg_

    “moderate climate change deniers“

    Sound awfully religious.

  10. Delcon

    So, it’s only satire?
    Looks like the Left’s work is not done yet then.
    At least not in this country. In Britain, just about every news item looks like a badly-written satire.

  11. Dr Fred Lenin

    Not another comissar ? We have enogh comissariats now ,all we need now is to re name the cabinet the Politburo Andthe PM General Secretary and we have arrived ,establishing a KGB ,( Klimate Guardian Bureau )and progress to a workers paradise can begin . Are there any politicians who are not socialists ?
    Make MP s a part time job ,all MPs to have a real job working full time ,keep them poor and busy so they dont have the tine to dream up this crap, and make them pay financially for their mistakes .

  12. 132andBush

    How long till it’s not satire?

  13. max

    “Freedom of the press is related to the right to keep and bear arms…
    If you don’t have the right to keep and bear arms, you don’t have freedom of the press. The state cannot protect you. It can only try to find your assassins.

    In France, Four masked men with AK-47s have settled the issue.

    “So, you think you have freedom of the press. I’ve got an AK-47 that says you don’t.”

    The right of free speech does not guarantee to any person the right to use someone else’s property…

    Liberty must be understood within moral limits or it becomes as oppressive and destructive as any centralized tyranny.

    All of our actions are governed by moral constraints. The only real question is “What moral code dictates those restraints?” But morality is necessarily a religious concern because it deals with the concept of right and wrong in terms of one’s understanding of a truth that transcends the individual and his actions.”

  14. Frank Walker from National Tiles

    There’s a good reason we’re moderating climate change deniers: uninformed comments undermine expertise

    Ketchell you stupid arsewipe.

    I bet I know more about statistical modelling than you do.

    The climate models are junk. They have nearly no predictive value.

    The only case to be made if we need to mitigate CO2 emissions is nuclear and the useful proles who protest about ‘da climate’ have been sucked into shilling for Accionia or Chinese cadmium & selenium miners.

    If you have any idea of what is really going on, you cannot hold the conventional Green line.

  15. Frank Walker from National Tiles

    Let me explain why. Imagine you discovered you had a serious illness and went to a doctor who recommended an operation. Then you surveyed 10 of your friends about whether they thought you needed an operation. Then, rather than have the operation, you spend the next 10 years, in deteriorating health, every day hearing from your doctor the operation is needed, while a small subset of your mates comment on how the doctor is a nutjob.

    Imagine if Ancel Keys promoted bullshit for 50 years regarding diet, and more people became friggin’ anti vaxxers (on no evidence at all) rather than questioned the science behind nutritional guidelines.

    The truth is independent of who is making the case, unless you are claiming to be a messiah or spirit guide of some sort.

  16. Percy Popinjay

    The spokesman said also that the absence of direct government funding (in the case of Nine …

    How much taxpayers’ money did Fathead Rudd give to the braindead FTA commercial channels to ensure sympathetic coverage and temporarily stave off their imminent bankruptcy?

  17. mem

    How about a Climate-reporting Commissar? Someone that oversees reporting that cherry picks, exaggerates and hypes up weather to the point of nonsense. Take for example this piece of twaddle from a staff writer at the Herald Sun (no they weren’t game to put their name to it). “Victoria in for warm and windy Friday
    Staff writer, Herald Sun
    September 20, 2019 8:52am
    If you had trouble sleeping last night it definitely wasn’t just you.

    Melbourne sweated through its warmest September night in 18 years.

    The temperature didn’t drop below 20.3C, making it the hottest September night since 2001 when it reached 20.7C.

    The warm weather will stick around longer than the Bureau of Meteorology expected.

    It was still 20.8C in Melbourne at 8am, heading for a top of 26C today.”
    I suppose the staff writer should be congratulated for finding something that approximated extreme weather to get a headline to support the kiddies march today. Talk about drawing a ling bow.

  18. Oh Frank oh Frank.

    Imagine you discovered you had a serious illness and went to a doctor who recommended an operation.

    How did you discover this serious illness? Ouija board? The vibe? A excel spreadsheet projection based on your historical bowel movements?

    And then you took your bowel movement projections to a doctor, not a medical doctor, but a PhD in mammology. Perhaps Dr Tim Flannery. Dr Flannery, having no expertise in medicine, looks at your bowel movement models and agrees with your unqualified diagnosis because he has regular cleansing caffeine enemas and swears by them. And based on your models and his colonic experiences, he agrees with you that the science is settled and recommends that he remove one of your legs. Sure you won’t be able to work any more, but he will feel great.

  19. Dr Fred Lenin

    The earth has not warmed more than normal for 16 years ,the sea has not risen 600 millimetres ,there is no cliimate crisis m the science is there ,the. Science is settled 100 per cent of weather information says there is no crisis ,no further discussion needed ,end of story .
    The conttinuing emission of co2 in the 16 years should increase temperatures ,it hasnt so there is no pause ,how can someting like that “pause”.

  20. Frank Walker from National Tiles

    And then you took your bowel movement projections to a doctor, not a medical doctor, but a PhD in mammology. Perhaps Dr Tim Flannery. Dr Flannery, having no expertise in medicine, looks at your bowel movement models and agrees with your unqualified diagnosis because he has regular cleansing caffeine enemas and swears by them. And based on your models and his colonic experiences, he agrees with you that the science is settled and recommends that he remove one of your legs. Sure you won’t be able to work any more, but he will feel great.

    …so the dinosaur poo chief is being analogised to medical doctors in the subject matter of climate modelling; to quote Anne Rice, “how avant garde!”

  21. Tombell

    I’d like a getf***ed commissioner!

  22. Wayne From Perth

    Satire yes but all too believable.

    It is getting to the stage that such articles need to state that they are satire given the world we live in.

  23. John A

    See what happens when we abandon the Ten Commandments?

    We get satire immediately after Talk Like a Pirate Day.

    Arrgghh!

  24. Up The Workers!

    The burning question here is whether or not the new “Conversation Commissioner” will need to wear a similar button-moustache and strut about in Jack-boots doing the Goose-step like the “progressive” totalitarian Socialist editor of The Conversation now does?

  25. Elizabeth (Lizzie) Beare

    It’s the zeitgeist. A window installer we had come to quote recently said this and that had to be done, and that’s OK, except he validated it by saying you can’t be too sure about securing against leakage what with the weather we’re getting these days, implying that it had really changed in recent years.

    I said the weather didn’t seem to me to be any different to when I was young, and that was probably before he was born. I hate to have to give away my age like that, but sometimes you just have to take one for the team.

  26. Boambee John

    On the “Go to a doctor” analogy, what are the numbers of deaths and injuries in Australia each year caused by medical errors? Not negligence, just simple human errors.

  27. classical_hero

    It’s too realistic to be satire.

  28. RobK

    And then you took your bowel movement projections to a doctor, not a medical doctor, but a PhD in mammology. Perhaps Dr Tim Flannery.
    I dare say he knows more about turds than climate.

  29. Rafe Champion

    For the love of God, stop giving them ideas!

    Before you know it they will go ahead and do it!!

  30. Dr Fred Lenin

    Future headline in woke compliant media
    The Conversation Comissariat today announced new regulations on day to day conversation to stamp out talking which offends snowflake woke persons of all 237 genders ,the comissar said “ the national green globalist laboral party will not tolerate this type od talk ,and I am unamanious about that ,we will comply with our beloved unelected u.n. Comrades “.

  31. Vagabond

    There are so many commissioners now that we need a commissioner of commissioners to keep them on their commissions.

  32. Muddy

    Only slightly off-topic:

    For the purpose of encouraging the spirit of tax-paying, the Ministry of Finance established a taxpayers commendation scheme …

    [Tokio, Japan, November, 1942].

  33. Ben

    Conversation Commissioner.
    Sounds bloody awful.

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