Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Here is a little test that will help you decide..

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, a terrorist with a huge knife
comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities,
raises the knife, and charges at you…

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?

THINK CAREFULLY AND
THEN SCROLL DOWN:

Democrat’s Answer:

� Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!

� What is a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP?

� Does the man look poor or oppressed?

� Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling?

� Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

� Could we run away?

� What does my wife think?

� What about the kids?

� Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

� I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

� This is all so confusing!

Republican’s Answer:

BANG!

Southerner’s Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Click….. (Sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG!BANG!

Click

Daughter: ‘Nice grouping, Daddy!’

‘Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?!

Son: ‘Can I shoot the next one?!’

Wife: You are not taking that to the Taxidermist!

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20 Responses to Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

  1. Terry

    “Republican’s Answer:
    BANG!”

    No, no, no, no. ALWAYS double-tap.

  2. RobK

    That’s very wasteful for a southerner. Three for a grouping is enough…..
    And then; “Yeah!Nice knife, thanks.”

  3. Old School Conservative

    A nice piece of gentle humour to start the day.

  4. Mother Lode

    Surely there is a Florida Man option.

    BANG!

    You miss the terrorist but the straying bullet ricochets off a Tesla, a tree, goes through the chest on a Walk/Don’t Walk sign, knocks a Ronald McDonald statue in front of a Maccas which tips over and knocks the terrorist out cold.

    The recoil hits you in the nuts. You run awkwardly away and are found two weeks later living under a neighbours porch wearing only woven grass and coconut shells subsisting purely on a diet of spiders.

  5. PB

    You missed one from the Democrat: “Would Greta approve?”

  6. Delta

    One shot – clean, swift and sure. All in a split second.

  7. wal1957

    Rafe!!!!

    That’s blatant terroristISM!

    You’ll have all the SJWs and lefties outraged!

    Nice to start the day off with a joke that I could actually have a genuine laugh at.

  8. Damn! And I was just having a coffee when I read the answers. I expected the Democrat and Republican ones, but the Southerner one nearly caught me out.

  9. Such a waste. The taxidermist could have patched the holes.

  10. a happy little debunker

    Apply rule 303!

  11. Bosnich

    The ‘six penny option’ option as we used to call it in the old days.
    One bullet in the right place.

  12. lotocoti

    You forgot the Sheila Jackson Lee answer:
    Why do you need a gun as heavy as 20 boxes and utilises a 4 1/2″ calibre bullet?

  13. PoliticoNT

    Damn! I’m a Southern Republican. (But y’all knew that.)

  14. tgs

    I dunno, I reckon any gun-respecting southerner would know that the magazine capacity for most 1911 models typically range from 7-10 (7 in the original, 8-10 in aftermarket extended mags) and would wonder where the extra two rounds came from before he had to reload.

    But that takes the fun out of the joke I know 🙂

  15. This is funny because we know it to be close to the truth.
    A small addition may be applied. If this was a rural Southern family, the Mrs (better known as Southern Biscuit) would have drawn and shot as well.

  16. Tator

    TGS,
    was thinking the same thing, then again, most Southerners wouldn’t be caught dead with a Kimber replica, they would have an original Colt 1911 military surplus one. Nearly as bad as being caught using a HiPoint version.

  17. Rafe,
    Sorry, you are SO wrong on the Southerner response…
    It would have been
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG!
    He had one up the spout, and a high capacity magazine….

  18. nb

    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    No!
    ‘Have I, or anyone vaguely like me, ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?’

  19. Roger Macrury

    How could you get this published on our ABC ? It is just so bad!

  20. Zatara

    Southern Dad: OK kids, now police up the brass so your mum can reload them.

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