AFLLBGTIQWM: A Very Modern General Manager

If the acronym in the title is a touch long and utterly stupid spare a thought for the AFL brains trust.

Steven Hocking is the AFL “General Manager of Football Operations” which is pretty much as senior as it gets short of being CEO.

Hocking of course owes his elevated position in football hierarchy due to the resignation of his predecessor (and AFL husband of the year recipient) Simon Lethlean who fell on his sword (so to speak) for the crime of bonking a junior employee – a sackable offence literally and figuratively given the progressive moral virtue of the AFL.

I mention this only to provide some background context in which to understand the vexed logic regarding Steven Hocking’s musing that the AFL competition be rebranded “AFLM” – the M standing for Male – ushering in a new era of acronym equality, respecting the human rights of the “Womens” competition which has been patronisingly subordinated by white male privilege and branded with a “W” (reminiscent of the Nazi’s) i.e. AFLW.

Now before we pillory Steven Hocking for his appalling politically incorrect transgressions spare a thought for a “nuggety” 199 game back pocket player that has probably had his fair share of head trauma and probably qualifies as a victim and minority himself despite being white and male.

For had Steven had full recourse of his faculties he would have realised that to define people only according to two genders, “male” and “women”, was to discriminate against the other 22 or so other genders (and counting) currently open for people to identify and nominate on their Tasmanian birth certificate.

Steven is probably also confused by ethical consistency. Because while Simon Lethlean was   morally unacceptable to AFL headquarters he is apparently not morally challenged enough to run one of its clubs, namely the St Kilda Football Club where he is now General Manager of Football. What progressive standard is he meant to be enforcing?

You can understand how poor Steven is confused. Where does one draw the line? Steven has made the biblical (dare one say biological) mistake of assuming only two genders in a post-modern, neo-Marxist, queer world the AFL hierarchy inhabit.

Hence, it is not entirely his own fault. After all, the AFL did prohibit the right of  Hannah Mouncey (aka as Callum Mouncey), the six foot two, hundred plus kilo transgender footballer with a penis from participating in the 2017 “womens” AFL draft despite meeting IOC testosterone levels for womens sport.

The real problem for Hocking was that the extension of this logic lead to not only alienating the market significant 1% of 1% of 1% that identity as anything other than male or female and care, but the cost and brand burden of a competition now defined by over 20 letters of the alphabet that is impossible to announce much less remember.

Oh the dilemma! Moral virtue or pragmatic commercial decisions? Where does one draw the line?

For a progressively minded AFL this was a hornets nest made worse by the fact it was steeped in WASP decision making. What to do?

Do we uphold our round by round virtue and name the forty-fifth round of a twenty two round season the “Gender Fluidity Round? Maybe even expelling a star player for holding the wrong gender / biblical opinion? It worked so well for Rugby Australia.

Or risk diluting our virtue / moral superiority by combining it with our climate armageddon round, televised emissions intensive around the nation? Oh the conundrum. How do we pay our way when our television rights are reduced by a third due to blackout?

Do we rename AFL to include every gender in the acronym regardless of whether we allow you to nominate for the draft or not?

What will this mean in terms of revenue (a dirty word) when we lose 25% of signage rights across every stadium due to our growing and incomprehensible name?

Jeff Kennet, President of the Hawthorn Football Club, is tipping buckets on Steven Hocking today for his courageous but mistaken stand. Yes, Steven Hocking wiped at least 22 genders off a new acronym for the AFL and sought to perpetuate a redundant biological concept of gender, but at least his heart (just not his brain) was in the right place.

I say cut Steven Hocking some slack. He is a product of multiple head traumas and AFL confusion (meandering into hypocrisy) as to what its actual business is. I look forward to Hocking as “General Manager of Football Operations” instructing security staff at AFL stadiums to evict hooligans who use the wrong gender term during matches.

Steven Hocking, I salute you. You are the very model of a modern General Manager.

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19 Responses to AFLLBGTIQWM: A Very Modern General Manager

  1. Shy Ted

    Should be AFLL. Second L for lesbian. And the men?

  2. Spurgeon Monkfish III

    Beyond parody. What a pathetic bunch of grasping expedient dickheads.

  3. John Alt

    AFL should stay AFL. Men, Women and etc should all enter the draft and be picked on merit. A Grade and B Grade competition for National League, then Reserves , Under 18’s and Juniors all mixed. Fair and equitable all based on ability.

  4. Judge Dredd

    The AFL seems to be getting fully converged by the SJW crowd so this is a rare setback for them. You only need to look at the NFL in the states to see where they are headed. Next up will be players sitting out of the anthem.

  5. Lee

    How about AFWL for Australian Football Wankers’ League?

    Or better still, AWFUL for Australian Wankers’ Football Uber-PC League?

  6. H B Bear

    This distraction isn’t going to interrupt the polo is it?

  7. nb

    Let’s face it, women and all 76 other genders have been treated with contempt by the AFL over the last 150 years or so. From today none should be hired but that they are one of the 77. And yes, the letters AFL should be followed by 77 other letters. Moreover, all forms of competitive behaviour must be expunged from the game. It’s only fair.

  8. Gerry

    He played for a Geelong team full of thugs …

  9. jupes

    After all, the AFL did prohibit the right of Hannah Mouncey (aka as Callum Mouncey), the six foot two, hundred plus kilo transgender footballer with a penis from participating in the 2017 “womens” AFL draft despite meeting IOC testosterone levels for womens sport.

    Yes they did. However they still allowed him to play against women and girls in the lower league (VFLW).

    The AFL are concerned enough about their stupid AWFL competition to stop Mouncey turning it into a (bigger) joke, but they aren’t concerned enough about female welfare to stop a hundred kilogram man playing against 50 kilogram girls.

    Despicable.

  10. TBH

    I liked it when the AFL was about footy.

  11. Spurgeon Monkfish III

    For exactly how much longer will the ALPFL persist with the unwatchable excruciating sham that is the wymminses “competition”?

    They might as well draft in a whole bunch of chicks with dicks (starting with Hannah) – such a (drastic) course of action may well be the only way to garner any interest in such a pathetic non-spectacle.

  12. stevem

    Much easier if we had an AFLXY and an AFLXX

  13. a reader

    It’s nuts. I’m a big women’s sports fan. I spend my hard earned to go and watch various sports (netball, Olympic sports, cricket) but you wouldn’t get me near AFLW with a barge pole. The standard is shit. In their angst and race to virtue signal they’ve created a competition without the number of players required to staff it. There’s probably enough quality players for about 6 teams. Over time that will naturally increase but they were so desperate to outshine the other football codes they expanded beyond the skill set. And what you see if an awful result

  14. Tim Neilson

    Much easier if we had an AFLXY and an AFLXX

    Exactly. Just announce that sport will henceforth be totally free of “gender” segregation, but will be segregated on the basis of demonstrable physical reality.

  15. TBH

    Even my teenage daughter says the AFLW is shit. We watch women’s cricket and actually rather enjoy it (Ellyse Perry is a gun), but the footy is dreck. Netball, hockey and any number of other sports females participate in large numbers are much better for the spectator.

  16. Squirrel

    When a sport is elevated to sacrosanct religious status, you’re gonna get some major b/s going on.

  17. Louis Litt

    Wow this is the same Stephen hocking who clocked Leigh Matthews at Kardina Park for retribution for his elbow to the jaw of Neville Bruns.

  18. Louis Litt

    The w league is more physical than the male league. Part of this idiot idea that women should be emasculated while the men’s league is effeminate and like watching under 8 in their first games. The men are effeminate.

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