Newsflash from the Hon Kevin Rudd MP

Bad joke alert – read at own risk

Perhaps this is going through KMR’s head at this moment

Today I give sincere thanks to Prince William and his lovely wife Kate for naming their baby son Kevin Michael in my honour. They’re bonza people.

A most appropriate gesture that’s for sure. I can’t wait to take a selfie of yours truly and bonnie prince Kevin Michael. We’re cooking with gas now.

That’s a fair shake of the sauce bottle: imagine King Kevin Michael Windsor with Prime Minister for Life Kevin Michael Rudd!

I’ve got to zip.

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36 Responses to Newsflash from the Hon Kevin Rudd MP

  1. *sticks fingers down throat.* Don’t even joke about something like this.

  2. Tintarella Di Luna

    It’s the least we can expectof Delusion Incarnate that is King Kevin Kokoda Kardashian AKA Kaptain Kaos

  3. johno

    How long will it be until kevi pops up in London trying to muscle in on the limelight?

    The royal birth may set back the timing of the election as kevi realises that he can’t compete for th e number one spot in the media’s attention.

  4. Motelier

    MY eyes! MY EYES!

    Why did I have to look at this Fred.

  5. iamok

    I saw Johhny sitting next to the Queen at the test cricket the other night. I nearly gagged at the thought of it being Kevvie sitting there instead. Then I thought “Nah, she would never let him anywhere near her by choice”.

    Imagine if he was there – the camera zooms in, Kevvie clicks into gear and pushes Bettie out of the way so he can hog the camera shot. Over the balcony goes Her Maj as Kevvie prattles on about himself and what we all think of him.

    “You know what, I’ve gotta zip”.

  6. JohnA

    You were warned, Cats! Should only have been a problem to those with irony deficiencies, though.

    Chuckle! Excellent example of Aussie sardonic humour.

  7. Anthony

    I blame John Howard and Peter Costello for all of our problems of the past six years. Their failure to recognise the dangers of electing a psychopathic creature like Rudd has given us both Rudd and Gillard. I am sure that if they recognised the true nature of Rudd they would have united, and united the people of Australia, to spare us the horrors we are now experiencing. It’s not too late.

  8. Lucie

    Tintarella @ 4:37 hahahaha. Keep those prayers coming, please. I’m going to follow your lead and start on St Anthony (grave digger patron) as well as OLHC.

  9. Ant

    Anthony, there’s sadly truth in what you say, although I wouldn’t put much of the blame on Costello.

    Howard was a good prime minister, but he could have been great. Not planning for succession and letting vanity and greed for power get in the way was a catastrophic personal failure for him, and for the country.

    So much that was good that his government did for the country has been so quickly undone, and ushered in has been a Labor government devoid of the necessary competence, let alone principle.

    The full scope of the damage will never be repaired.

  10. Lucie

    I have been thinking of that lately, too, Ant – about Howard.

  11. Tintarella di Luna

    lucie

    might offer a few prayers for the poor souls who appear to be lost at sea off Java – all hail and thanks to the man-woman-and-child-slaughtering Kevin Rudd – he is a soulless; gutless; craven coward luring people to their deaths by his dismantling of the Howard government’s highly successful and humane Pacific Solution

    Now the Kevin Rudd Solution is literally dissolving the real flesh and bloody bodies of desperate people lured to our shores by his Open Borders Policy

  12. egg_

    What’s wrong with ‘Malcolm Bligh Turnbull (Windsor)’ the Republican? 😉

  13. Up The Workers!

    Dust to dust,
    And ashes to ashes.
    When Labor’s in,
    The economy crashes!

  14. Robert Blair

    “Fair shake of the sauce bottle” has never been used the way Rudd uses it.

    In genuine slang it is only ever used as an expostulation.

    He gets his aussie lingo from a book, not from actual experience. What a try-hard.

  15. cynical1

    Apparently, he’s already sent the “Bub” a “Broncs” jersey….

  16. Leigh Lowe

    And you know what?
    When I saw the Royal Couple getting in the car with the baby, it reminded me of when I was a baby sleeping in a car. But enough about me as a baby. Let’s move on folks and talk about me as an adult. Just as the Royal baby will grow up to hold a position of prominence, so too did I. Guess what? That little baby living in that car in Queensland grew up to be a sophisticated, urbane leader who can more than hold his own on the world stage – at once a knockabout bloke, a serious policy wonk and a leadership dynamo.
    Gotta zip!

  17. Toiling Mass

    I suppose it would be a great honour.

    Imagine – a mere prince being named after him!

  18. Lucie

    ‘Bub’ , Leigh. It’s ‘bub’. They make ‘bubs’ in the ‘Sols’, too, you know? Eeuuughhh. I despair of the ‘young folk’ of today when I see the cringe-making pics of them ‘making goofy-cool’ with this twisted, dysfunctional, destructive, prissy-faux-folksy megalomaniac in charge of the country.

  19. Aynsley Kellow

    Robert Blair:
    “Fair shake of the sauce bottle” has never been used the way Rudd uses it.

    That’s because he mangles even the vernacular in trying to be folksy. He said ‘Fair suck of the sauce bottle.’ The correct expression is as you states it. It is the saveloy we get a fair suck of.

    Similarly, he (though not alone) gives ‘rolled gold guarantees’. Rolled gold, of course, is fake gold – a very thin layer over some less valuable metal. What he means, of course, is ‘solid gold’.

    He wants us to believe he has a lot in common with a ‘bunch of folk.’

    Gotta zip!

  20. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    Malcolm is a fine Scottish name. But given the rise again of Alba, would the wee English babe still be King of Scotland?
    Kevin is a fine Irish name. But only for Saints of the Second Order. An Irishman on the English throne? Unthinkable. Sucked in Kev.
    It seems current Australian politics has little to offer for a future King of England.
    Unless Romanitas is revived and we go with Tony. Not a bad idea at all. Call the Palace.

  21. HK_Brother

    “I’ve got to zip”; “rock’n’roll”; “over to you mate”; “folks”; “chill”; and so on.

    …Someone is trying too hard! Remember how he said he was the “guy in the library” while Abbott was the “sports guy”? Well, the guy in the library would be studying and developing problem solving skills involving some sort of technical competence. In all likely, he would be going to university and doing an Engineering degree. Hell, he would be friends with the sports guy in his senior year; as both would have a common passion for computer games.

    The thing is, PM Rudd doesn’t have problem solving skills. He has no Engineering degree, nor real-world experience in problem solving or project management. Honestly, ask yourselves this simple question: Has Rudd ever led a project to its successful conclusion with minimal waste, while actually solving the problem?

    A good engineer would get the project done on time, under budget, and even exceed the requirements of the problem! What costs everyone else $1 to make something (and $3 for a politician to make); a good engineer can do the same job with 50 cents. (And that’s the thing about good engineers; they’re extremely rare…And our Education system isn’t helping the matter. They’re next to non-existent when it comes to politics of a Nation.)

    And that leads to leadership…Rudd’s leadership ability is pretty much summed up as: It’s his way or the highway. Its political convenience over a well thought-out plan that understands the consequences. Its expediency over political processes because one is frustrated with the system. (Kevin’s own brother, Greg Rudd, even makes this point in a 2GB Radio interview).

    Look at the asylum seeker issue alone. He isn’t the “guy in the library”. He is the poser trying so hard to be liked!



    How do I know about the “guy in the library”?
    …Because I was that guy! My sister (HK_Girl) occasionally hangs around here , so I thought I visit and see what this website was about. 🙂

  22. candy

    Anthony would be a grand name for the new Royal baby.

  23. Stuart - Kalamunda

    I’ll bet Kev’s Air Force 1 is being powered up right now so he can get an early chance for his photo-op with the bub.

  24. Mick Gold Coast QLD

    Do you know something?

    International lunatics like Comrade Dear Leader are the very reason that Royal lot have placed blokes on guard at the palace gate, and a cavalry contingent just inside the front yard, to give them some Run, run away fastly! time (and to skewer him with a lance if he gets too close).

  25. Token

    Nice summary of the vanity of the man.

  26. Lucie

    It is an interesting question, the name. There aren’t that many good old English kingly names that aren’t currently taken – what with Uncle Henry, grandad Charles, great uncle Edward….they haven’t had a Richard for a while.

    I like the timely suggestion of Constantine. King Con.

  27. Tintarella di Luna

    the guy in the library would be studying and developing problem solving skills involving some sort of technical competence

    Glad to hear from you H_K Brother

    But what did Rudd do in the library? Did he develop problem-solving skills? Well-thought out ways of getting things done? No instead Rudd developed programmatic specificity and unnatural complementarity and some faux-folksy phrases — has the guy every written a book on anything? — Abbott’s written two —

    Rudd is a namby-pamby lacrimous coward given to vapid vacuity secure in the knowledge that no matter what he does the barracking willfully-blind mainstream media will pump up his tyres and declare his ever utterance a masterstroke when in fact he gives us all a stroke in more ways than one.

    Meanwhile Abbott is simply a man who calmly and steadily shows what the difference is between a man of intellect and mental-midget, Abbott is fearless in putting his ideas down on the public record for scrutiny while Rudd is the chameleon who will be whatever the media projects him to be, a shallow creature of the media, by the media and for the media.

  28. Andrew

    Anthony, there’s sadly truth in what you say, although I wouldn’t put much of the blame on Costello.

    Howard was a good prime minister, but he could have been great. Not planning for succession and letting vanity and greed for power get in the way was a catastrophic personal failure for him, and for the country.

    I would put a fair bit of blame on Costello, if not most of it. He carried on like a little child about the leadership and thought he was entitled to it. The people preferred Howard and so did most of the party room,

  29. Tintarella di Luna

    I would put a fair bit of blame on Costello, if not most of it. He carried on like a little child about the leadership and thought he was entitled to it. The people preferred Howard and so did most of the party room,

    Costello was a spoiler. All this bullshit of playing pass the parcel with the Prime Ministership of Australia has to stop. It just demeans and corrupts the office of Prime Minister reducing it to a party favour, literally.

    there must be a way of putting an end to it. I must say the media does a lot of the mischief-making but let’s remember that it started with the Labor party — with Keating and Hawke, and it continued to be pushed by the media during the Howard years (and let’s remember how many unelected Premiers we had in NSW – Howard was there for 12 years, no change, Labor has been in for 6 and we’ve had 3.

  30. CyrilH

    A good comment about engineering from HK_Brother posted on July 24, 2013 at 9:21 am. I worked in the engineering field in heavy industry for many years before my retirement. A common saying was that a good engineer could do for 20 cents what any fool could do for a dollar. With Kevin Rudd and the Labor government we see this in reverse. They can do for dollar what any fool can do for 20 cents. About sums it up correctly for me.

  31. James of the Glens

    Tinta’s,

    “All this bullshit of playing pass the parcel with the Prime Ministership of Australia has to stop. It just demeans and corrupts the office of Prime Minister reducing it to a party favour, literally”,

    is spot on.

    It’s puerile, akin to “it’s my turn” to go “he”.

    And of course it offers hostile media a chance to forment dissent.

  32. struth

    Don’t worry, we are soon going to see the real Jul……er….Kevin. I don’t think it’s going to be pretty.

  33. cynical1

    “I’ll bet Kev’s Air Force 1 is being powered up right now so he can get an early chance for his photo-op with the bub”.

    I’ll bet Kev’s Air Force 1 is being powered up right now so the “Bub” can get an early chance for his photo-op with Kevin..

    Fixed…

  34. Menai Pete

    Rudd and his leftoid mates don’t like engineers. It comes from their university days when they grew jealous of the real men and women who understood science and mathematics and attended to learn, not mindlessly march around the campus screaming meaningless slogans

  35. Balatro

    Tinta’s remark regarding the mischief making of the media is far too kind.
    The problem I have with media is twofold.
    The first is the lack of separation of reporting and opinion, and the biggest disappointment is the ABC. They have a charter, which has been wilfully abused, and a long history of impartial reporting they shamefully squandered without the justification of the commercial imperative. Fairfax have just squandered a commercial advantage through incompetence and a failure to understand basic business principles. Conrad Black was right when he said during his brief connection with Fairfax that he had never seen journalists so overindulged to the detriment of the shareholders. He went to jail, not because he did not know how to run a newspaper. It was because he could not keep his hand out of the till.

    The second, and major, problem for me is the lack of professional skill most ‘investigative’ journalists have. There is no evidence of a deep understanding of the stories they relate. I cannot recall a balanced, objective piece on politics written by a current ‘quality’ journalist that is not infused with opinion.

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