Three more like the last six is not a great election message

The folks over at The Age and I suppose it’s the same at the SMH are impervious to common sense. But for me, the best Coalition ads are the ALP ads that feature Kevin Rudd. Three more like the last six ought to scare anyone. Seeing him there in the flesh is Night of the Living Dead. I just wonder what the features of the record he is running on he would like to highlight. A more miserable looking lot than the campaign workers standing behind the PM it would be very hard to find.

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98 Responses to Three more like the last six is not a great election message

  1. Septimus says:

    At 1 min 5 secs, Dudd does a Chucky impression … watch his eyes.

  2. YT says:

    I can’t look into his eyes. It would be like looking into the eyes of the gorgon, instead my brain would turn to stone.

  3. JohnA says:

    He says “we build, the others wreck” (paraphrase).

    Well I have a couple of biblical quote for him:

    Luke 6:49 But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.

    and

    Luke 14:28 Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it?

  4. Gab says:

    Turn the volume off and watch the hands, folks. He’s either channeling Marcel Marceau or directing traffic.

  5. JamesK says:

    Three more like the last six is not a great election message

    With the addition of a question mark, it is for Abbott

  6. Infidel Tiger says:

    Talk about inspiring! You’d walk though a brick wall after crawling naked over broken glass for that guy.

    Looked like a self help group organised by the lesbian temperance union.

  7. Dan says:

    For the next three weeks, I will not draw a breath

    Here’s hoping tosser!

  8. candy says:

    That pincer grip is a bit weird.

  9. Wolfgang says:

    Kevin,
    Why are you looking at ‘us’, you should be looking at (trying to inspire) that lot behind you.

  10. Amortiser says:

    That guy in the glasses over Rudd’s right shoulder has to be Mike Kaiser’s love child. Kaiser was adversely named in an electoral corruption enquiry in Queensland and he had to resign his parliamentary seat. The NSW ALP bailed him out by giving him a position in Premier Iemma’s office followed by Anna Bligh making him Chief of Staff in her office. Then Rudd appointed him to a senior position on over $400K at the NBN.

    This was the Kevin Rudd who, reacting to the NSW ICAC inquiry into the McDonald and Obeid corruption enquiries said that he would not tolerate corruption. It’s not what Rudd says but what he does that is important.

  11. Dan says:

    Sorry, I missed quoted. Laughing to hard

    I will not be drawing breath for the next three weeks.

    Presumably to die and join the army of the undead behind him. Who knows, maybe after they have harvested his brain the Unions might take him on.

  12. Andrew Coulton says:

    And none over 25…… none of whom are old enough to appreciate or understand a damn thing outside their own head.

  13. manalive says:

    Turn the volume off and watch the hands, folks. He’s either channeling Marcel Marceau or directing traffic …

    Gab that’s what I do too, it’s hilarious (and I can’t stand that precious poncy delivery).
    At one point there he looks like he’s pulling the chain in the old dunny back in Eumundi.

  14. Infidel Tiger says:

    I’m trying to think of less inspiring images:

    Your proctologist tells you he just won a slam dunk competition.

  15. dover_beach says:

    Again, where’s the ‘diversity’?

  16. dover_beach says:

    Honestly, the screen grab above looks like the infamous scene from Downfall.

  17. Pickles says:

    The still looks like he’s told them the campaign mascot’s just been backed over in the carpark.

  18. JB5 says:

    “Comments are disabled for this video”. Wow, I wonder why.

    Excellent LNP ad, extra cash for thier ad agency, they deserve it for this brilliance. How did they find such a perfect actor to parody KRudd? Outstanding job!

  19. lotocoti says:

    Each desk now has a bronze plaque commemorating the occasion of kevni personally delivering his wise direction and helpful suggestions to the party’s youth workers and will shine long as an event to be specially recorded in Australia’s history.
    (With thanks to KCNA.)

  20. Mr Skeletor says:

    Where is that gay guy and his friends from the Kevin’s army video a few months back?

  21. cuckoo says:

    He walks around pointing at things in a supposedly masterful, authoritative way, just like Kim Jong-Il visiting a military installation.

  22. Yon Toad says:

    “Maybe that gig at the needle exchange up at the Cross wouldn’t have been that bad after all.” thinks the blonde over his left shoulder.

  23. dan says:

    I turned off the sound, can’t stand his voice. Based on his hand movements I understand he said the following:
    I will chop the sausage.
    Then I will chop the sausage again.
    I will chop it with one hand…
    …then with two hands
    I will hold up the sausage with my left hand…
    and chop it horizontally with my right hand.
    Then the sausage will be small like my finger.

  24. H B Bear says:

    Bwahahaha – what a collection of cardigan wearing, mouth breathing, hipster misfits. Imagine telling people you worked on the Kevin13 campaign.

    It would be more embarrassing than a La Trobe BA.

  25. Simon says:

    “And let me just say that you will all be working tirelessly for the next 3 weeks, unpaid… and you will be able to write proudly on your resume that you helped Kevin Rudd and the ALP get [email protected] from office for at least a generation.” Now smile for my ad telling people how bad the Liberals are for their futures.

  26. Andore Jr. says:

    Bwa. Ha. Ha. Ha.

    The key to any good comedy is to keep a steady pace of laughs and pratfalls.

  27. It just reminds me of Kim Jong Un, and his Dad etc. Imagine being in a room where no matter what you do or say, everyone there will agree with you.
    I’d love that to death.

  28. CasKav says:

    He really should do an ad with his experienced adult campaign team as well. I mean, surely those youngsters can’t be it….can they?

  29. calli says:

    He did the reptillian tongue flick right at the end. You could just tell that he had to tightly control his impluse to lick his left eyeball.

    Those poor kiddies behind him look like birds mesmerised by a cobra…won’t someone help them? Haven’t they suffered enough?

  30. H B Bear says:

    Bwa. Ha. Ha. Ha.

    Ol’ Crazy Eyes just has the dead eyed look going there. Sarah Hanson-Hyphen is realising her days of national moralising and compassion grandstanding are coming to an end.

  31. Ant says:

    There will come a day in the not too distant future when every single one of those naifs will cringe in red-faced, gut wrenching embarrassment at ever having been associated with this very disturbed little psychopath.

  32. Andore Jr. says:

    ever having been associated with this very disturbed little psychopath

    If only. Didn’t they say the same thing about Keating? The same suckholes then wrote his musical 15 years later.

    Trust me, in some dank, hemp-smoked basement, they are penning the first drafts for ‘Abbott The Destroyer Of Worlds’.

  33. Septimus says:

    Bit like the Women for Dullard video with a bunch of young useful idiots not totally enthused.

    “Imagine a man in a blue tie … ” ….. No? ….. Oh … golf clap.

  34. Infidel Tiger says:

    Half way through the video you expect someone to tap him on the shoulder and say “Mr Rudd this is the Dungeons & Dragons Club, our room is next door.”

  35. candy says:

    Poor fellow, has no friends his own age, they look like they’re just tolerating him.

  36. Andore Jr. says:

    God, I’d hate to walk into THAT room with a non-vegan meal!

  37. Leo G says:

    Kevin Rudd makes a good point. Labor’s most effective battle plan would be if Kevin stopped drawing breath during the campaign.

  38. motelier says:

    And to think that all of the efforts of the Volunteers and yuuff it is still going to go to shite.

    A polished turd is still a polished turd.

  39. Anne says:

    Thanks Dan at 3.15pm! Hilarious! Also Calli and IT…. comedy gold!

    I haven’t laughed so much since I had Tetanus!

  40. Splatacrobat says:

    The average age of the RuddJugend assembled behind their Fuhrer looks about 25.
    Rudd is no Artur Axemann.

  41. John Comnenus says:

    Three more weeks is too many.

  42. Splatacrobat says:

    Most viewed web pages from the guy’s and gals at team Rudd’s campaign office:
    1. seek.com/government/federal/projectofficer/qangos/safefromabbottcuts/pageblankerror/retry
    2. Holidaysinseptember.com/bali/getdrunkandforgetaboutthebloodbath/bookings
    3. smh.com.au/anygoodnews/ALP/latestgoodnews/pageblankerror/retry
    4.theage.com.au/anybadnews/LNP/latestbadnews/abbottwinningpollsrace/60/40tpp
    5. careerone.com/government/journalism/abcradio/insiders/thedrum
    6. thegreens.com/jobsboard/yeswelovebraindeadalpflunkies/submitapplication
    7. sportsbet.com/lnpwin/placebet

  43. Rafe says:

    Last words? Straight out of the bunker! The most sophisticated Coalition strategist and communications whiz could not have made it up.

  44. Pickles says:

    8. Farmyardfun.com/Abbot/0hits

  45. gabrianga says:

    Is this part of the “Obama Contribution” to the Election campaign? The Liberal Party should at least share costs?

  46. Rafe says:

    Now I get it, the comparison with the Gillard “man in a blue tie” speech was the clue.

    The people doing these gigs for the ALP are Coalition moles.

  47. calli says:

    That still shot is burning itself onto my retinas. I have tried to look away…but can’t.

    Is it just me, or does he look a rather petulant, fussy and overweight librarian (female). Those pudgy, feminine fingers, that little mouth droop, the slight head tilt…

    Gotta zip…just remembered I have some overdue books somewhere.

  48. JC says:

    9 mummyblogs.

  49. Peter h says:

    Two weeks into the campaign and kev is telling his team that he has a plan to win, he would only have to tell them this if they did not know what the plan was or is. The truth is they don’t have a plan and the one they had has not worked. It is over they have already lost it is just a question of by how much.

  50. James of the Glens says:

    The poor little blonde thing just to the right of Rudd’s shoulder looks quite ill. Then when he does the rolling eyed swing to the left of screen, she’s beyond embarrassed.

    Clearly, he’s threatened a random thrashing per day until they get it right. And 5 minutes previous she drew the short straw. The rest are contemplating fragging him, but independent initiative is not anyone’s strong suit in that bunker.
    Finally, Rudd gets away with a mangled crossing himself, further cementing his inability to follow through on anything.

  51. Pickles says:

    At least Credlin must know by now what not to do. None of this smarmy junk. It’s just money for old rope and ridicule. More Cowbell Kev!

  52. Infidel Tiger says:

    It’s like footage from inside Ariel Castro’s house.

  53. John Comnenus says:

    More cowbell! Who is Christopher Walken and who is Will Ferrell.

    I guess Rudd is Will Ferrell, desperately trying to hit the right note. Abbott must be Christopher Walken.

  54. Pickles says:

    And Kev is Castro not Ramsey.

  55. pete m says:

    I’m calling fake!

    How can so many concerned youth not be all head tilting?

    It feels just like a plastic turkey I once tried to eat in Iraq.

    ps tonight’s Q + A thread will be hard pressed to top some fo the lines in this thread – congrats!

  56. thefrollickingmole says:

    To be fair, can you imagine the sheer joy of doing unsolicited calls to try and sell “kevini” to people by cold calling them?

    “Hello there, Im from the venereal diseases association and wondered if i could interest you in some herpes or syphilis today”

    “Oh thank god, i though it was someone from Kevins campaign calling again”…

    Reminds me of my father, he had a call “what do you think of Telstra”, then told the bloke (after the first 5 minutes) “no dont hang up, im not finished yet”!!

  57. Pete of Perth says:

    It’s like who farted but no one is game to say it…

  58. Jack Spratt says:

    “The whippings will continue until morale improves” – Krudd, ALP flameout campaign, 2013.

  59. Ollie says:

    Thanks Dan (3.15). Still wiping the tears away. That was the funniest description I have ever read. Mind you, most of the other comments were very funny too. Made my day!

  60. Mk50 of Brisbane, Henchman to the VRWC says:

    So his election team are mostly not out of nappies yet and by their actions believe their own bullshit as much as Rimmer does.

    Their dress and bearing screams ‘inner city hipster asshole with a newly minted degree in feminist perspectives on land rights for nuclear free gay whales’ which they did on mummy and daddy’s tick as light relief from being semi-professional far left activists.

    They despise Rimmer and are there for the tick on the CV as they race up the far left activist to union hack to safe ALP seat ladder.

    And these cretins are running Rimmer’s show.

    What could possibly go wrong?

  61. Motelier says:

    ps tonight’s Q + A thread will be hard pressed to top some fo the lines in this thread – congrats!

    Nah,
    Snowcone will do the usual interruptions, Bowen will lie, Hockey will rip a new one for Bowen,

    The usual culprits will be online tonight with various beverages and lots of whitty comments.

  62. Septimus says:

    Rafe,

    Now I get it, the comparison with the Gillard “man in a blue tie” speech was the clue.

    The people doing these gigs for the ALP are Coalition moles.

    Nah, no cigar … too obvious. The inference was to both Dullard and Dudd not wearing ties in their videos … whereas their nemesis, Future Prime Minister Tony Abbott, almost always wears a blue tie.

  63. YT says:

    THe RuddJugend had better watch out otherwise they might be accused of not loving the leader enough.

  64. Obio says:

    James of the Glens #965152, posted on August 19, 2013 at 4:52 pm
    The poor little blonde thing just to the right of Rudd’s shoulder looks quite ill. Then when he does the rolling eyed swing to the left of screen, she’s beyond embarrassed.

    I noticed that too. She looked like she wanted to be anywhere else than there.

  65. MickfromVic says:

    Did everyone see the Domo Arigato Mr Roboto impersonation at 0:58?

  66. Septimus says:

    BTW … I still think that Dudd never intended to actually return to the PM position, that he was all about just wreaking vengeance on those who wronged him, and in bringing them all down. Unfortunately for him Dullard, intentionally or otherwise, called his bluff and he was thrust back into the top position. As a result he has no real plan and is just making it up as he goes … and mostly getting it wrong (ably assisted by the incompetent Bruce Hawker). His only out, if he is not to wear all of the acrimony for the coming election disaster, is to suddenly develop a non-fatal illness (maybe a TIA or pericarditis), and reluctantly withdraw from the campaign by the middle of next week. That may allow him to save some face (“I could have won but for …”), and maybe make his replacement via the Labor leadership revolving door a little less obvious.

  67. James of the Glens says:

    Could it be Rudd had just previously toured the room with the …capsule tray?

  68. calli says:

    The usual culprits will be online tonight with various beverages and lots of whitty comments.

    Youse guys can supply the beverages. I have been doing some valuable research into Armenian cuisine in honour of Mr. Hokkaidian. The Tuck Truck arrives at 9.30 sharp, unless Magda sneaks in and pinches stuff like she did last time.

  69. Bob says:

    I just saw a political ad for Kevin Rudd on the ABC. I thought there was no advertising on the ABC, and worse still political ads

  70. 132andBush says:

    “God, I’d hate to walk into THAT room with a non-vegan meal!”

    On the contrary, I’d LOVE to walk into that room with a non- vegan meal.

  71. J.H. says:

    Apparently Rudd is polling 50/50, according to the Essential Media poll that is…… WUWT?

  72. J.H. says:

    Essential Media Poll is either an outlier…. or an outright liar…. Take yer pick eh. 😉

  73. Procrustes says:

    JH

    This bloke – Dr Kevin Bonham – has comparisons on the various polls here

    He reckons that Essential used to suffer from pro-Labor bias, more recently it is pretty sticky (responds slowly to changes in voting intention)

  74. . says:

    The Abbott! musical?

    Bad Ab-hardt Gitta?

    Gotta zip.

  75. nilk, Iron Bogan says:

    I’ve not been able to watch this ad yet – will wait for the offspring to go to bed – but even from the still frame on the monitor I don’t think I’ve ever seen such mass tilty goodness.

    I’m surprise some of those people aren’t leaning.

  76. Procrustes says:

    Don’t know if that link is working – just google kevin bonham and look for the post titled a Field Guide To Australian Opinion Pollsters

  77. JC says:

    He reckons that Essential used to suffer from pro-Labor bias, more recently it is pretty sticky (responds slowly to changes in voting intention)

    Yea I got that impression too with Essential and not just with todays poll.. Do they have a slow moving average in the calcs perhaps?

  78. Leigh Lowe says:

    Essential Media Poll is either an outlier…. or an outright liar…. Take yer pick eh.

    What is strange is that both the Coalition and ALP primary vote moved up 1%, at the expense of “Others/Independents” moving down by 2%.
    The Greens remain unchanged.
    So it seems that the move in 2PP from 49:51 to 50:50 is purely some preference allocation anomaly from the “Independent/Other” pool.

  79. Leigh Lowe says:

    Yea I got that impression too with Essential and not just with todays poll.. Do they have a slow moving average in the calcs perhaps?

    Essential averages figures over two polls.
    See above – I suspect the move is not one full percentage point.
    It may have been that the last poll was not 51:49 but, say, more precisely, 50.7 : 49.3 and has moved to something like 50.3 : 49.7 (rounded to 50:50).

  80. Fleeced says:

    I didn’t play the video linked to in the OP, but looking at the stillshot… my goodness, don’t they all seem despondent?

  81. Aliice says:

    Seriously has anyone ever seen (or heard?) a bunch of less enthusiastic clappers??
    This wasnt any standing ovation.
    The clapping was well …tired, lacklustre and fake.

  82. Aliice says:

    Yes fleeced. They have the despondency of people who have been cajoled or hired for $2 an hour.

  83. Amused says:

    The blonde behind him looks like she served him the wrong lunch or something!

  84. stackja says:

    I can’t look into his eyes. It would be like looking into the eyes of the gorgon, instead my brain would turn to stone.

    Or

  85. Rabz says:

    Do they have a slow moving average in the calcs perhaps?

    No JC, the results are monitored by their crack team of three toed sloths.

  86. Jim Rose says:

    Rafe, too many policies and ideas of the Left assumed that they are the face of the future, rather than just another political party that will hold power as often as not.

    Democratic socialism is pointless because electoral power is fleeting. Sooner or latter, the left wing parties lose power and capitalism would be resorted.

    In the UK parliament, those crazies to the right or left of you, when they win, are tempered by an occasional general election only 5 years.

    Little wonder that UK Labor reconsidered devolution, an assembly for London, and regional government after 15 years of Maggie Thatcher, good and hard. Unfettered power loses its shine when it must be shared with your hard-line opponents.

    Developing positive alternatives on the Left includes what to do about the rotation of power and fettered versus unfettered parliamentary and executive power.

    The failure of the Left to develop its own constitutional political economy is a major strategic shortcoming. Frequenting wine bars, cafes and blogs muttering to each other ‘our day will come, our day will come’ is not enough.

    Privatisation and deregulation is a lot slower in a federal system witheffective upper houses elected by proportional representation. The will of the people is constantly tested and measured in a federal system with elections at one level or another every year.

    Regulatory powers and public ownership is spread over different levels of federations, with different parties in power at various levels at the same time, all worried about losing office by going to far away from what the majority wants.

  87. stackja says:

    AAP photo Kev about to get a paper chop?

  88. I am the Walrus, koo koo k'choo says:

    ‘We are gonna win this’.

    Yeah, it’s so obvious that he has to spell it out for them.

    And what’s with the ‘Kim Jong Il Looking At Things’ clips mashed between the clips of psychotic arm movements? What numpty thought these were a good idea?

    How did he ever get elected.

    No wonder Loughnane is cruising, Krudd is doing all the hard work for him.

  89. entropy says:

    Jim, that is why the long march through the institutions exists.

  90. stackja says:

    Abbott campaign back in western Sydney
    But Ms Scott was neither offended by being told she had sex appeal nor thought her boss should apologise for his ‘charming compliment’.

    Someone who probably wished he had more in his arsenal was Labor’s candidate for Bennelong, Jason Yat-Sen Li.
    Kevin Rudd’s personal pick for the north-west Sydney seat was thoroughly upstaged at a business breakfast earlier in the day when Mr Abbott arrived at the last minute to a hero’s welcome, press pack in tow.
    By the time Mr Li was invited to speak, Mr Abbott was already pressing the flesh with local business owners and posing for pictures with admiring young fans.

  91. perturbed says:

    By the time Mr Li was invited to speak, Mr Abbott was already pressing the flesh with local business owners and posing for pictures with admiring young fans.

    Even when a Field Marshal has excellent generals under him who are advancing on all fronts, it’s occasionally good for him to turn up in person and win an easy battle by a country mile, just to remind the other side how deep Shit Creek really is.

  92. Winny says:

    Seriously. He looks unwell.

  93. egg_ says:

    BTW … I still think that Dudd never intended to actually return to the PM position, that he was all about just wreaking vengeance on those who wronged him, and in bringing them all down. Unfortunately for him Dullard, intentionally or otherwise, called his bluff and he was thrust back into the top position. As a result he has no real plan and is just making it up as he goes … and mostly getting it wrong (ably assisted by the incompetent Bruce Hawker). His only out, if he is not to wear all of the acrimony for the coming election disaster, is to suddenly develop a non-fatal illness (maybe a TIA or pericarditis), and reluctantly withdraw from the campaign by the middle of next week. That may allow him to save some face (“I could have won but for …”), and maybe make his replacement via the Labor leadership revolving door a little less obvious.

    Quite plausible, he really does seem quite Rudderless at the moment and was always to be the Trojan Horse.

  94. perturbed says:

    Seriously. He looks unwell.

    And so he should! It’s all unravelling for him – the Great Dream of crushing Julia beneath his boot-heel and following with Tony Abbott for an encore. He’s ratfucked Julia good and proper, but his Thought Bubble policies started unravelling even before the sycophantic arse-licking was finished and it’s clear that the entirety of the last three years was dedicated just to ratfucking Julia – there’d been no attempt at comprehensive formulation of an electoral platform for use after he got the top job back. Not even something like the Marshall Attack in chess, carefully prepared in secret for use against a world-champion prodigy (Capablanca), who somehow still managed to find his way through all the complications at the board and win through.

    Was Rudd really so egotistical as to assume that he’d be able to get the whole Kevin07 mystique back and roll all over Abbott? It must really have got to him when it failed to happen that way and he was right back where he’d started after the Copenhagen business – left to face Abbott instead of Turnbull, with an election date looming in his future and his carefully crafted public self-image beginning to tarnish.

    Only now there’s no way to dodge it without it looking like a cowardly cop-out. He could make up whatever excuses he liked, but the average Aussie would know better – that this was the cut-and-run Prime Minister who left politics just X days before the election because he couldn’t face the thought of officially being beaten. History will not remember him well if he does that, and I think he knows it.

  95. swifty says:

    Here’s my video response. Just for lulz.

  96. Tinta says:

    I’ve looked at this a number of times, admittedly with the assistance of Stematil, and always have thought there was something not quite right. The Sunbather is sitting beside me here and he immediately picked it — Rudd isn’t there, he’s been photoshopped in, he has he has, I’m sure it’s been noted here before but is there any clue about the making of this ad? It’s like these youngsters were told there’ll be someone standing here, they listened to the script and then clapped on cue.

  97. egg_ says:

    Was Rudd really so egotistical as to assume that he’d be able to get the whole Kevin07 mystique back and roll all over Abbott? It must really have got to him when it failed to happen that way and he was right back where he’d started after the Copenhagen business – left to face Abbott instead of Turnbull, with an election date looming in his future and his carefully crafted public self-image beginning to tarnish.

    Kev’s conundrum in a nutshell.
    NPD-leopard-spots.

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