… and the Julia Gillard Hyperbowl Award goes to …

Caroline Zielinski for this magnificent effort:

Much like Germany has been forced to grapple with its past — it can neither ignore it, nor celebrate it — Australia’s treatment of Julia Gillard should never be hidden, and certainly not for reasons such as “Everyone hates Julia Gillard”.

Wow. All because the television networks don’t want to run a telemovie about Julia Gillard. Who can blame them? Neither she nor Kevin Rudd are particularly popular just now. I don’t think they will be for some time.

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70 Responses to … and the Julia Gillard Hyperbowl Award goes to …

  1. Lem

    Is Caroline trying to say Julia is like Hitler, and Australia has an issue with that?

  2. Anyone who helps a boyfriend steal from a widows & orphans fund is going to be hated.

  3. Baldrick

    Not to worry. If the commercial channels don’t see a profit in it, I’m sure TheirABC will fund it with taxpayers money.

  4. Greg J

    Anyone who helps a boyfriend steal from a widows & orphans fund is going to be hated.

    Yeah, but only if people actually find out about it, and you can be sure they won’t be hearing about it from Their ABC.

  5. H B Bear

    When they come for the Gillard haters I’m happy to be first in line. Slugs & Grubs actually had it right when they threw her out. Australia just took a little longer.

  6. Davey Boy

    CZ studied journalism at Monash University

    say no morwah

  7. Gab

    So where can I buy the “F**k Gillard” t-shirts?

  8. HRT

    “Much like Germany has been forced to grapple with its past — it can neither ignore it, nor celebrate it — Labor’s treatment of Sir John Kerr should never be hidden.”

    Quite right Caroline, quite right.

  9. The ALP, their version says “as well”.

    Emmo has a swag full.

  10. JC

    So where can I buy the “F**k Gillard” t-shirts?

    Really? I never thought you were the lezzo and even if you were ( I’m not being judgmental) you could always do better.

  11. Damienski

    I hadn’t had the pleasure of reading the offerings of Ms Zielinski until the good Dr Martyr linked that piece.
    I’m indebted. I will scroll on by any future drivel that finds its way into another waste of pixels.

  12. Andrew

    The good thing about these fuckwits is their words can be thrown at them at the end of the A666ott regime when he will have been treated 1000x worse. They can be reminded that while Pickering drew unflattering cartoons, the Aged actually ran ads for Fuck A666ott t-shirts and so on. We can remind them that heaping shit on a PM is morally equivalent of the holocaust. And with the added bonus that A666ott will have presided over SSM – people who hate it generally hate the Left more and many of them will literally die if the far right A666ott Regime allows the far right LDP bill to a successful conscience vote.

  13. Gab

    Funny but they didn’t print my request for the Gillard t-shirts at that rendervue site.

  14. candy

    “Everyone hates Julia Gillard” is a pretty unkind headline. No need for that.

    I think anyway they are just not “sexy” enough “characters” to make it interesting, or we’ve just seen way too much of the RGR years.

  15. Gab

    I never thought you were the lezzo

    Ain’t. Does nothing for me.

  16. JC

    I think anyway they are just not “sexy” enough “characters” to make it interesting, or we’ve just seen way too much of the RGR years.

    Who plays the shampoo salesman?

  17. Sinclair Davidson

    JC – a bit OTT.

  18. Gab

    Yeah, I know, but there are some weirdos at the Cat, JC, so I thought I’d better make it clear.

  19. john constantine

    The swampy expectation is that the telemovie will gloss over the parts where all the unexplained money shows up, will gloss over the part where once redfilth gets access to the Australian taxpayers credit card, she pays hundreds of millions of dollars in bribes to guarantee easy street for herself in life after politics-last of all, the years where the married men of the left passed her around like an ISIS sack wife-just didn’t happen, O.K.

  20. It’s a bit like expecting people to shell out for a movie where Sepp Blatter and FIFA are the heroes, isn’t it? They tell me United Passions made $900 on its first weekend.

    Rudd and Gillard took the economy to the pub and we’re having trouble dragging it back out again. Now may not be the time to remind people of how a bodgie government was replaced by a widgie government which was then replaced by a bodgie government. Which then got booted.

    And spare us a recreation of the sexism and misogyny speech. If we want to watch a good dummy spit we’ve got Ricky Stuart’s press conferences.

  21. Robert Crew

    Even without the author’s (Zielinski, not Davidson, of course) Godwinian comparison between surviving having bad things said about one behind one’s back, and surviving a holocaust, and much as I support a bill of rights, I think the argument for the right to have a telemovie made of your life is probably a bridge too far 🙂

    I still think it sexist that Gillard was protected from the sort of sexist smears applied to Rudd and Abbott every day – nobody ever complained about Gillard wearing the same garish, 80’s-shouldered, pin-striped caricature of a suit every other day (and they weren’t “pin” stripes, they were emergency runways for passing aircraft, decided on by her Scots male adviser to capture the focus of the TV viewers), the way she complained about Rudd’s blue ties or Abbott’s bathers. Speaking of hyperbowl, she also famously made false accusations of homosexuality under Parliamentary Privilege, as if she considered that something to be ashamed of. Whatever it takes…

  22. candy

    Who plays the shampoo salesman?

    Just not interesting either (not the real chap) but as a character portrayal, just doesn’t seem rivetting stuff.

  23. Stephen of Glasshosue

    If the movie is sooo important, crowd fund it. Maybe all those ALP kids called Gough can kick in a few quid..

  24. JC

    Sinc….

    It was a play on the “f..k Tony Abbott T-shirt thingi. I think Gab is aware of it. I made the point to a frightbat once it could have more than one meaning and she was aiming far too high with Abbott 🙂

  25. Gertrude

    Who wants to watch a remake of The Blob?

  26. Rob MW

    “So where can I buy the “F**k Gillard” t-shirts?”

    Apparently Zlutzalot hire’s em’ out from a place called Comealot.

  27. Token

    Who wants to watch a remake of The Blob?

    Are they trying to pitch Bob Ellis’ life story as well?

    How low can they get?

  28. H B Bear

    So where can I buy the “F**k Gillard” t-shirts?

    They have a “F**k Gillard – everyone else has” still in stock.

  29. Free Advice

    I think either Frankie J Holden or Shane “Kenny” Jacobson should play the Shampoo Salesman aka Vidal Sassoon!

  30. Gertrude

    Plucks Duck could play Wayne Swan.

  31. Harald

    Replaying this in my mind:

    Much like Germany has been forced to grapple with its past — it can neither ignore it, nor celebrate it — Australia’s treatment of Julia Gillard should never be hidden, and certainly not for reasons such as “Everyone hates Julia Gillard”.

    Germany had a government policy to systematically starve and gas jews in death camps.
    Australia voted, which resulted in Julia Gillard as Prime Minister.

    “Much like Germany has been forced to grapple with its past, Australia’s treatment of Gillard should never be hidden.”….

    Now colour me stupid, but I bet the jews languishing in the WOII death camps, would have preferred to live as Australian PM in Kirribilli House on ~$500K salary.

    Hell, even I would prefer to live as PM in Kirribilli House. (The ~$500k ; I got that covered 😛 )

  32. Hey, where’s my shout out for finding this little gem of an article in the first place?

  33. candy

    Maybe I’m biased but I think the Coalition has more interesting “characters” to be portrayed – Howard, Costello, Abbott, Hockey, Joyce, Turnbull, Morrison, Bronwyn Bishop even.

    They seem more dramatic but perhaps that’s just because it’s now and RGR was then.

  34. Jim

    I thunk the real reason why none of the commercial networks want to make a program about Julia Gillard is because the ABS has already done it – At Home With Julia.

    Or maybe, it is just because it would just be really boring.

  35. C.L.

    Much like Germany has been forced to grapple with its past — it can neither ignore it, nor celebrate it — Australia’s treatment of Julia Gillard should never be hidden, and certainly not for reasons such as “Everyone hates Julia Gillard”.

    Ahahahahahahahahahahaha.

    *BREATHES*

    Ahahahahahahahahahahaha.

    And:

    Considering the current perception of Australia’s attitude towards women, homosexuality (hello, gay marriage deniers) and refugees, one would think we don’t like anything but white, old, rich men holding every position of power — oh, wait.

    Why would we not want white men running the country?

    White men have lead the most successful countries and most successful everything in human history.

  36. incoherent rambler

    Scene 1 – Jules lying* in the gutter after a rough night in the lodge’s wine cellar.
    Incoherent rambler walking along gutter with steel capped work boots.
    [ help me here, not sure how to develop this scene ]

    * – yes, a pun

  37. Myrddin Seren

    Young Ms Zielinski better have a thick Polish hide or she will be reconsidering the wisdom of jumping from the Fauxfacts safe space to Rupert Murdoch’s Brutopia.

    Unlike the tongue bath she would have received from the Fauxfacts hivemind for this piece of dross, she is copping an absolute pasting in the comments to her article. Tim Blair need not add a word to this embarrassment – the loyal readership is on to it.

  38. Leigh Lowe

    Pitch 1:- The ABC is approached to do a relatively cheap doco about a PM who had a Parliamentary career spanning 33 years, was Federal Treasurer for six years, served two terms as Leader of the Opposition, and won four terms as PM (second only to Menzies).
    The ABC declares it not of significant public interest and declines the offer.
    The reaction? Barely a murmur.
    Pitch 2:- Commercial networks are approached to fund a very expensive political telemovie with a cast of gouging actors who will extract the full measure as fees to ply their trade.
    The subject?
    A woman who had a parliamentary career spanning 15 years, was never Opposition Leader and became PM on the vote of the caucus rather than the electorate. She failed to win an electoral majority in the only general election she faced as leader and, after three years as PM, was dumped by her party amid fears her second general election would destroy her party.
    The networks decline because, in their view, it would not attract enough viewers to recoup costs.
    The reaction?
    Outrage, of course.

  39. The networks decline because, in their view, it would not attract enough viewers to recoup costs.
    The reaction?

    Frightbats demand the end of the glass ceiling & wymmynses on boards to prevent such travesties do not occur again.

  40. Leigh Lowe

    I couldn’t figure out if Ms Zylophone thought that TV execs should simply piss away shareholder’s money on a this folly, or whether she thought the movie was a financial winner, and the networks had simply misjudged it.
    Either way, the Tele needs to keep her well away from any position of financial responsibility.

  41. Rob MW

    “Either way, the Tele needs to keep her well away from any position of financial responsibility.”

    Any responsibility would be too much really and particularly one that doesn’t requires the use of a brain. Maybe a rubbish run every now and again, but only if accompanied by a GPS.

  42. Sinclair Davidson

    Sorry Phillipa. I found it via facebook. But you did have it up on the open thread first.

  43. Infidel Tiger

    #1706940, posted on June 10, 2015 at 8:19 pm
    Hey, where’s my shout out for finding this little gem of an article in the first place?

    Umm, it was the home page of all the News Ltd mastheads.

    If you are desperate for hat tips, start busking or public streaking.

  44. strange

    Who cares about RGR. I am waiting for the Tony Abbott Musical on Ice. For most of the show they will be just picking themselves up after a series of falls.

  45. Rob MW

    “Who cares about RGR. I am waiting for the Tony Abbott Musical on Ice. For most of the show they will be just picking themselves up after a series of falls.”

    You could play the Budgie…..good luck with the fall…one should be enough.

  46. Infidel Tiger

    Tony Abbott on Ice?

    I don’t think that’s a good idea. He has too much energy already.

  47. Grigory M

    Hey, where’s my shout out for finding this little gem of an article in the first place?

    Men at Work Kookaburra Laughs. Have you seen a copyright lawyer?

  48. Ken N

    Good grief.
    I’ve decided to first scan articles and if they contain ” oh, wait..” I don’t read them.
    Next is “Don’t get me wrong, but..”

  49. Zulu Kilo Two Alpha

    Who cares about RGR. I am waiting for the Tony Abbott Musical on Ice. For most of the show they will be just picking themselves up after a series of falls.

    I’m waiting for the “Gough Whitlam musical on ice.” For most of the time they would be lurching all over the place, staggering from disaster to catastrophe, and back to calamity…

  50. Stimpson J. Cat

    I have just started a Kickstarter campaign for my musical “Springtime for Julia”
    Early investors receive signed red gloves.

  51. Splatacrobat

    If Gillard was a real humanitarian she would donate part of her excessively large earlobes to Niki Lauder.

  52. Splatacrobat

    I think the people on Struggle Street had more intelligence than the Labor luminaries they reanimated for The Killing Season.
    Ashley’s fart contained more economic sense.

  53. Damienski

    Hey, where’s my shout out for finding this little gem of an article in the first place?
    I was indebted at 7.23 pm #1706851. Still am. Thank you, Dr Martyr.

  54. DB

    The premise that Australians (including the 50% that are female) are some sort of rabid, sexist mob for their lack of interest in a Julia Gillard telemovie is pretty flimsy.
    Could it be that Australians just aren’t interested in telemovies about their politicians?
    Apart from the 1983 miniseries ‘The Dismissal’ — featuring yet another disastrous Labor Prime Minister — I can’t think of one.
    Since the advent of television in Australia in 1956, can anyone remember seeing a telemovie of Bob Menzies? Harold Holt? John Gorton? Billy MacMahon? Malcolm Fraser? Bob Hawke? Paul Keating? John Howard? Kevin Rudd?

  55. JakartaJaap

    CZ’s hyperbowl was a very special moment for me. Where do they find these abject brain dead idiots?

  56. Rabz

    Where do they find these abject brain dead idiots?

    Someone observed above that CZ is formerly of Fauxfacts, which might explain it.

    And yes, candy, Gillard and Rudd are about as sexy as Doc Pachauri.

  57. Diogenes

    Oh the humanity.
    Imagine depriving poor Rachel griffiths the chance to play a concerned female labour leader.

  58. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    Unlike the tongue bath she would have received from the Fauxfacts hivemind for this piece of dross, she is copping an absolute pasting in the comments to her article. Tim Blair need not add a word to this embarrassment – the loyal readership is on to it.

    Yes, I added a few ‘likes’ to the slew of rejections of her effort, but too busy on the Cat to comment. 🙂

    Don’t forget though that she’s currently doing a Masters in Journalism at MU; not much hope of a reality check there, so it may take some time for the real world messages to sink in. Someone should direct her to the Cat, which provides an excellent deprogramming from the cult of leftism. Free stuff, too, so it should have an immediate appeal. All part of Sinc’s cunning plan. 🙂

  59. DavidH

    @incoherent rambler, developing your scene …

    Albo steps forward from the shadows and exclaims …

  60. @SeditionaryI

    But, everyone does hate Julia Gillard, even her own party can’t stand her, if it wasn’t for female journalists with agendas to push the poor woman would have no friends at all.

  61. Snoopy

    But, everyone does hate Julia Gillard, even her own party can’t stand her, if it wasn’t for female journalists with agendas pudendas to push the poor woman would have no friends at all.

  62. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.

    Could it be that Australians just aren’t interested in telemovies hagiography about their politicians two total political failures?

    Fixed it.

  63. Fred Lenin

    I atill think a series called “Fraud Squad Australia ” ,would be about alp and union theft and fraud with comedy relief from the greens and pupThere is a mountain of material out there ,unbelievable ,but utterly TRUE! ,.i have worked out at least four so far ,but there are contless more extant . The pardee just keeps giving ,one a day is caught doing the wrong thing ,,and state borders are no barrier,if you are alp / union ,you are automatically a crook . Stealing from widows and orphans tops even their list of wrongdoings.

  64. .

    I still can’t believe this foul woman with the diction of a Cunnamulla whore had the audacity to “teach” her junior solicitors and article clerks about grammar and legal drafting.

    She can’t even say her own fucking name correctly.

  65. .

    Fred Lenin
    #1707463, posted on June 11, 2015 at 12:11 pm
    I atill think a series called “Fraud Squad Australia

    What a brilliant idea. If you crowdfund I will donate to it.

  66. ChrisPer

    You are all too, too cruel and horribly sexist and misogynist. I wants to marry you all and take you home to Mum.

  67. Adelagado

    Much like Germany ….. Australia’s treatment of Julia Gillard should never be hidden.

    Jeez, where do you go from there for a simile for something thats REALLY bad.

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