Senator Sam Snack Pack – the essential recipe

Start with a base of equine excrement (used when bovine excrement just not sufficiently expressive).

Add a generous dollop of hair gel.

Season generously with Chinese 5 spice (not to be confused with Shanghai 4 Seasons Hotel).

Bake and serve in a chalice from the imperial palace.  Garnish with some contra-national foreign policy statements and serve with iPhone from 2 years into the future.

Accompany with 2 bottles of donated Grange.

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30 Responses to Senator Sam Snack Pack – the essential recipe

  1. Zycoonoclast

    Smothered in Halal sauce yumminess.

  2. Zulu Kilo Two Alpha

    And regard yourself as totally above any consequences.

  3. incoherent rambler

    Surely Dastardly is about to do a runner.

  4. Zulu Kilo Two Alpha

    Has he been hung yet?

    No, he only looks as though he has. BTW, has anyone ever seen Sam Dastiyari and Nick Xylophone in the same room?

  5. ACTOldFart

    I think you forgot the serving tips: “Don’t forget to invite Bob Carr, and also serve in the presence of a party leader too spineless to do anything about it”

  6. stackja

    Sam Dastyari
    From Wikipedia
    Dastyari, as a member of Labor’s Unity faction, initially worked with lobbyists Hawker Britton. Dastyari was elected as General Secretary of NSW Labor in March 2010 with the support of the Transport Workers’ Union (TWU), the Electrical Trades Union (ETU), and the Australian Workers Union (AWU).[2] Dastyari is a member of the Labor Right faction.[10]

    [10] SMH]

    Sam just doing more lobbying with Red China?

  7. H B Bear

    Non-practising Muslim. When you enjoy a beer but can’t give up the votes in those Western Sydney marginals. No wonder he is at home in the ALP.

    Allahu Akbar.

  8. Nic

    Spartacus’ posts belong on the open thread. They dont add much beyond that in terms of insight, I’m afraid.

  9. Atoms for Peace

    What do the REAL power brokers at the factional level think about the issue ?
    That’s what counts in the ALP..

  10. Nelson Kidd-Players

    If Sam is ever sighted again,can someone ask his opinions on the Uyghur?

  11. candy

    I imagine he’s hoping his quirky personality will pull him through.

    Actually, he’s the type for a TV show games host – small, quirky, talkative and engaging for short periods of time and then switch him off.

    To be fair, he’s by far not the only politician to feel they are not accountable but think that everyone else should be.

  12. FYI, the greasy Persian imp is also lobbying with Photios for the Hotels Association. Expect the lockout laws to be heavily watered down or gone altogether within the year.

  13. John Comnenus

    in a sane world Sam would be run out of town and never be able to win an election again.

    How the Aussie media will play it: Look Trump, Bernardi …. Where were we? Oh I forgot, yes that’s right – Bernardi, not Sam, Sam who? He’s a good Union ALP bloke what did he do? That’s so last week. What Abbott punched a wall 30 years ago? Break out the special investigative cold case journos.

  14. Des Deskperson

    But Bonge has Sam’s back. He was telling us last night on Ten News that the whole thing is merely a beat-up intended to distract attention from the disarray in the Government.

    This is the standard line now from the ALP, but it’s a bit disconcerting to hear it parroted by an independent journalist on independent media, although Ten news is in reality one long op-ed. .

    Bonge looks shocking, he has the desiccated look of someone whose breath must surely reek of eld. What pressures – ego and/or poverty – drive him to keep going?

  15. John Comnenus

    How Shorten will play it.

    Sam made an error of judgement and understands that.

    PM Shorten let me introduce foreign minister Sam Dastyari

  16. Philip

    How best to describe Sam:
    Made in Australia
    Managed in Australia
    Made in China
    Managed in China
    Designed in Australia..Made in China

  17. iain russell

    The Imperial court used eunuchs extensively. They were required to muster annually with The Package in a glass jar for a ‘head’ count. Can we mix old and new, East and West, yin and yang and install a sedia stercoraria in Parliament? I look forward to proof of the Persian’s innocence by hearing the ancient cry ‘testiculos habit et bene pendentes’. Any classics scholar in the Senate will do as the bollocks checker.

  18. John64

    A slight rework of a verse from an old song:

    The joys of drink last but for a moment,
    Cigarettes make you sick, you will die,
    But the vote of a New South Wales Senator,
    is the best thing that money can buy.

  19. Habib

    I reckon Peanuthead could lob around to the twilight home and find senator shortarse banging his confined mum, while snorting blow off her bum, having jammed all the doors shut and blocked the exits with iron bars after dousing the place with petrol and lighting a few flares, and he’d seriously counsel him then promote to the front bench. It’d be an interesting exercise just to ascertain what offence has to be committed to get an ALP degenerate the arse from caucus, let alone the party, especially a factionally connected simian.

    It seems no level of corruption, lareceny, thuggery, perversion or imbecility is sufficient to warrant dismissal with these loathesome spotted reptiles,

  20. Wellington J Farnsworth Spookingdorf III

    Not only does he LOOK like Mr. Bean…………..

  21. sabrina

    For the betterment of the country, I sincerely hope this saga ends his political career.

  22. rickw

    Can we start treating Treason with the gravity it deserves?

  23. Ian of Brisbane

    When did we vote Mr Bean to the senate?

  24. Zulu Kilo Two Alpha

    When did we vote Mr Bean to the senate?

    Wasn’t he originally parachuted in as a casual vacancy?

  25. YT

    It’s like the fucks aren’t even bothering to hide it. Since that arseclown who was defence minister was found to be in China’s pocket threw himself on the sword to save KRudd.

  26. AP

    The Chinese use the MICE framework for developing their foreign agents.

    Money
    Ideology
    Coersion
    Ego

    Senator Sam can be demonstrated to be vulnerable to two of the categories, (money and ego) and given he’s a Labor man, perhaps three (ideology). I wonder if they have any photos of him in a gimp costume?

  27. a reader

    If Dastyari was taking money from the Soviets 50 years ago he’d have been hanged, drawn & quartered. It’s pretty pathetic when the media can’t even be relied upon to argue against communism and the governments are too weak to counter it.

  28. a reader

    Do you know who Lee Rhiannon is?

    Guess what – she is still alive and kicking.

    However, she was not a Senator back then.

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