Captain Planet

I was sitting in the barber’s chair and chatting with the barber about her children (it’s a husband and wife barber shop where the kids wander through all the time) so I asked about what kind of environmental instruction her kids get, thinking mostly about the oldest girl who is around 13. But it was her son, in his first year at Kinder, who was being drenched with it. In fact, she told me, he is now a young fanatic, and was that very day going to be singing the Captain Planet song before the whole school. Me, never heard of Captain Planet, but clearly I am way behind the times. So if you are now to succeed me as the last person never to have heard of Captain Planet, you can learn more here.

Here are the words. And I noticed first off that their science goes back to the ancient Greeks with the division in fire, water, earth and air. Heart, I suppose, is to replace reason.


Go planet!

By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!

Captain Planet, he’s our hero,
Gonna take pollution down to zero,
He’s our powers magnified,
And he’s fighting on the planet’s side

Captain Planet, he’s our hero,
Gonna take pollution down to zero,
Gonna help him put asunder,
Bad guys who like to loot and plunder

“You’ll pay for this Captain Planet!”

We’re the Planeteers,
You can be one too!
‘Cause saving our planet is the thing to do,
Looting and polluting is not the way,
Hear what Captain Planet has to say:


And these were the top 30 comments. If you want to know the kind of slide we are on, and how steep that slide is, read these through:

  1. We all let this dude down
  2. Sad kids don’t get messages like this these days
  3. When cartoons used to have substance.
  4. I still don’t litter because of Captain planet!
  5. i wish captain planet was real so he could save are planet right now
  6. Remember guys, Captain Planet isn’t real, but his enemies are. We have a duty to protect this planet. It is our only home. We don’t get another. Save the Amazon.
  7. I feel so depressed looking at this now, thinking how optimistic we were in the early ’90s, and how few people took the message to heart. The power was ours… and we wasted it.
  8. Ah 90s Saturday mornings!
  9. I still finish every last bit of product in my bottles because of captain planet.
  10. Memories of playing ‘Captain Planet’ with friends at the time and no one would want to be ‘Heart’ because it was the shit one.
  11. Need him to save the Amazon right now
  12. It’s too bad almost all of the Planeteers left to get real jobs
  13. The should make a 2019 movie of Captain Planet
  14. The Planeteers: The first benders.
  15. THE POWER IS YOURS! legendary 😂😂
  16. i wish i could have a time machine and go back to enjoy again those times
  17. The world trully needs Captain Planet right now.
  18. When cartoons were actually teaching kids good stuff…
  19. They should invite this guy to the next global warming conference
  20. Who’s watching this in 2019 and remembering their childhood?
  21. Me as a teenager: “Captain Planet is so corny. The save the trees message is so hamfisted! I can’t believe I ever watched this!” Me now: “I was fool! A fool! Please come back, Captain Planet! You were right all along!”
  22. Watched it when I was a kid I remember the lyrics
  23. When you realize the kids from Captain Planet came from The Magic School Bus!🤔😅
  24. 2019? Sad that this cartoon is still relevant to this day.
  25. Omg the nostalgia!! I used to LOVE this show. I tuned in EVERY morning to watch it. (luckily for me it was before school, so I was able to see it!!)
  26. “The Power is Yours” !! goosebumps ❤❤ people haven’t realised yet the power is in us to save this planet…
  27. Just a little trivia…Ted Turner created this animated series. Great job, Ted…1990…almost 30 years ago!
  28. Ahh the good old days when the environmental movement was cool and actually cared about the planet before it was taken over by politics and fear mongering pseudoscience
  29. We need you captain planet, more than ever. Come back for real.
  30. My mom just digged out Captain Planet bedding it’s in great condition my sons just watched this with me#2019

We have reverted back to the Dark Ages if not farther.

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20 Responses to Captain Planet

  1. I wonder if these people will ever feel absolute embarrassment when all of this eventually unravels. And what will they tell their children and grandchildren? That they were gullible fools?

    Twenty first century folk living in the 13th century.

  2. JohnJJJ

    You need to listen to Mark Dice. His version is better.

  3. Turtle

    I wonder if these people will ever feel absolute embarrassment when all of this eventually unravels. And what will they tell their children and grandchildren? That they were gullible fools?

    No, because precautionary principle

  4. Tel

    Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! Heart!

    Most of the ancient cultures had a theory of five elements, although the details changed from place to place. This includes ancient Persia, ancient Greece, the Vedic Hindus, Han dynasty Chinese, etc.

    That would date their science in ballpark figures around about 500 BC, maybe a bit later, although similar theories hung around well into the Dark Ages.

  5. Docket62

    We have reverted back to the Dark Ages if not farther.

    ‘Always look on the bright side of life…………’. That far back?

  6. Spurgeon Monkfish III

    Captain Planet

    Not to be confused with Cap’n Obvious and the latter’s evil nemesis, Perfesser Bass-Ackwards.

  7. Pete of Freo

    I heard my kids singing:
    “Captain Planet, he’s a wanker,
    If Blight can kill him we’ll all thank her….” and so on.
    My parenting choice was to ignore it

  8. pbw

    Never fear, Captain Planet fans. There’s still The Octonauts saving the oceans, and the Go Jetters, fighting pollution in the form of Grandmaster Glitch. On ABC Kids, of course.

  9. Shy Ted

    Captain Planet, meh. For pure bollox you need to watch Planet America, ABC24. Bet you can’t do 10 minutes.

  10. Nob

    My kids used to watch Captain Planet.

    Pretty much desensitised them to greenie propaganda. Made it seem like a cheesy eighties obsession.

    Don’t despair.

  11. Nob

    Plus they seem to agree with me that anyone who says “the planet” when they mean “the world” or “Earth” is WANK!WANK!WANK! alert.

  12. Mark M

    The good ole days … (1962)
    Deputy Dawg – Heat Wave

    “On the hottest day in 14 years,Deputy Dawg gets to enjoy the cool comfort of the Sheriff’s icehouse as Vince and Musky attempt to infiltrate it.”

    @1.01: “Did you know it’s so hot you can fry an egg on a rock?”

    No doomsday panic there.
    Good for kids and adults.

  13. carrolus

    From memory this cartoon was created by Ted Turner, the founder of CNN.

    This should explain everything

  14. J.H.

    We have reverted to high farce.

  15. Iampeter

    Obligatory if you think the West is Christian, or support Christianity, then you are also longing for the Dark Ages, so should have no problem with this post.

  16. David

    I was having a great morning until I read this and was left in despair.
    We’ve neglected our role as custodian/mentor to and for our children and allowed media corporations to colonize the kids’ collective and individual subconscious with inane tawdry crap.
    Our culture has been overwritten by cartoon, and by appeal to the lowest common denominator, and is at this point almost completely lost. Any efforts to go back a few generations to the tried-and-true wisdom of our culture are derided as anti diversity.

  17. Tim Neilson

    #3266230, posted on December 19, 2019 at 7:24 am

    Don’t you ever get tired of being 100% wrong about absolutely everything?

  18. Sinclair Davidson

    We have reverted back to the Dark Ages if not farther.

    Just to the 1990s.

  19. Iampeter

    Tim, do you ever get tired of projecting?

    Come on. Who are you kidding, buddy?

  20. classical_hero

    We are to take care of the planet and those who say they are climate skeptics are the most environmentally active. The alarmists are typical of the left is that they want others to do the hard work for them. CO² isn’t pollution.

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