Tuesday Forum: March 17, 2020

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5,116 Responses to Tuesday Forum: March 17, 2020

  1. Ed Case

    Corona-Chan the biggest Government hoax of all time? Some stiff competition there.
    More Biden hilarity: https://videos.whatfinger.com/2020/03/16/mark-dice-no-joe-no/
    Joe’s picking a female VP, opinion says he can’t win on the first ballot so if Stacey Abrams doesn’t fuck up between now and the convention then she’s VP on a Clinton ticket.

  2. egg_

    DrBeauGan
    #3358182, posted on March 15, 2020 at 8:29 pm
    Every prediction I made came true, actually sooner and worse than I expected.
    People who followed your line are now in a real dilemma. Read up the thread.
    You should apologise.

    Predictions aren’t worth much, Arky. The question is what should people actually do? Running in circles, screaming and shouting aren’t helpful. Buying some emergency supplies in case the supermarkets close is reasonable. So is staying away from other people. And frequent hand washing. Other than that, avoiding hysteria and panic are all that anyone can do. You aren’t helping.

    Lots of STEM folk have to make daily real world predictions of risk, else it can cost lives.

  3. Coronavirus could be spread by rimming, scientists say.

    Two comments.

    1. Mr Dutton!

    2. scientists say: “I reckon the Eagles will win”

  4. Struth

    That’ll be three hail Marys for you Nota.

  5. calli

    Have you eve owned a business Arky, do you understand cash flow?
    Especially an Australian business taxed within an inch of it’s life.

    I have done and have been. Yet I don’t expect one red cent from the Grubbermint to prop me and mine up while fatly flying around in private jets.

    They can pull their belts in just as I have had to do in the past. Like selling my house to pay contractors.

  6. egg_

    Forget it Sinclair……………………….I give up, may as well be banned.

    It’s great the blog is being archived for posterity – the Cat’s own Armageddonists’ dire predictions.

  7. Infidel Tiger

    Hahaha!

    Coffee shops no longer accepting reusable “Eco cups”

    How long until reusable bags are banned?

  8. scientists say: “Where’s my froggy?”

  9. Struth

    have done and have been. Yet I don’t expect one red cent from the Grubbermint to prop me and mine up while fatly flying around in private jets.

    They shouldn’t be propped up, agreed, but they shouldn’t be destroyed by government action either

  10. Arky

    I got something wrong.
    I advised you all to try buying groceries online.
    If you have done so and are relying on that order check your order.
    Many will be cancelled. The systems aren’t coping with the extra demand.

  11. egg_

    a reported stabbing at a Mornington Peninsula Woolworths store.

    That’s yer true risk, right there.

  12. Infidel Tiger

    It is Midday and China remains un-nuked.

    Weak!

  13. dover_beach

    Coronavirus could be spread by rimming, scientists say.

    Yes, yes, apart from fecal transmission being known for over a month, that must be the only thing one could have against the practice of licking someone’s anus.

  14. Gab

    It will crash the NBN …

    No worries. That has been a daily event here, ever since it was installed.
    Nothing new.

    #metoo And I wrote this about 2.10 and could not post until I got internet back! Despite my telstra connection page telling me I was connected1

  15. Arky

    Have you eve owned a business Arky, do you understand cash flow?

    ..
    I ran a mobile mechanic.
    I had enough cash to survive a bad run.
    Why don’t you?

  16. Infidel Tiger

    The only people on the streets right now are octogenarians who don’t give a shit and Celestial hording mobs.

    WWIII in January was a breeze compared to this madness.

  17. dover_beach

    I haven’t noticed Arky counselling panic as opposed to prudent suggestions in preparation for what is now before us.

  18. jupes

    Less than two hours to go and the all ords are still up. Can it hang on or will it drop like a stone?

    Exciting stuff watching your wealth get flushed down the drain.

  19. Knuckle Dragger

    Durry time with one of the aforementioned Indian driving instructors, Satnam. He can’t work out why I call him Satnav.

    He was saying his company with all subcontinental drivers now has to have cameras in the cars when driving tests are carried out. Evidently a few of the instructors (his cousin among them, apparently) were taking up offers of a hand shandy in exchange for a driving sign off. One was busted and burnt the lurk for the rest.

    Free enterprise is dead in this country.

  20. egg_

    I haven’t noticed Arky counselling panic as opposed to prudent suggestions in preparation for what is now before us.

    /Co-panicker

  21. Infidel Tiger

    Less than two hours to go and the all ords are still up. Can it hang on or will it drop like a stone?

    Exciting stuff watching your wealth get flushed down the drain.

    RBA must have stepped in for our market to be up.

    Expect it to plunge tomorrow.

  22. egg_

    I haven’t noticed Arky counselling panic as opposed to prudent suggestions in preparation for what is now before us.

    What’s the COVID-19 mortality rate, again?

  23. egg_

    Or has Johanna already visited the movable goalposts?

  24. Stimpson J. Cat

    Good Day Old People of Catallaxy.

    It is time for Stimpys Daily Roll Call.

    Please raise your hand if you are still alive.

  25. Porter

    According to the Daily Mail:

    A Woolworths staff member, 37, has been stabbed in a supermarket carpark on Victoria’s Mornington Peninsula.

    The worker was collecting trolleys at Rosebud when an unknown man approached him and assaulted him, a Victoria Police spokeswoman said.

    The man was left with upper body injuries and was flown to Melbourne’s The Alfred Hospital for treatment.

  26. Arky

    I ran a mobile mechanic.

    ..
    Also a petrol station that went bust.
    I was really shit at that.
    People coming at you from all directions, wanting petrol all the time.
    Bastards.

  27. Struth

    prudent suggestions in preparation for what is now before us.

    Love the dramatic language.
    Shakespeare would be impressed.

  28. Anne

    I saw this interesting take on the toilet paper weirdness off of 8kun a few days ago.

    ”How do you get the public to run to the store to stock up on supplies before a quarantine? Use Operation Mockingbird, but for good purposes. The media starts reporting before the fact that stores are selling out of toilet paper. This creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. People run to the store to stock up on toilet paper without even realising why they need it. Meanwhile they also stock up on food water and other supplies. Now they are prepared for what is coming without even knowing they did it…

    Why toilet paper? If the media had reported that they were running out of canned foods or dried foods, bottled water even… People would have rushed to the store to stock up on the specific survival items until they were all sold out leaving others without these things for the quarantine. So they pick something benign like TP so that people would buy out something non-critical while stocking up on the assortment of other goods.

    Stores are out of toilet paper. Bleach and maybe hand wipes. But they are not out of food. Went to the store today and saw customer after customer with canned foods, dried goods and bottled water in their buggies. No one was hoarding these items. Some bought chips, some bought hamburger helper. Each person bought what they needed to stock up on even though the store was sold out of TP. The plan worked!

    MI got the entire nation to stock up on essential supplies and prepare themselves to bunker down for the storm and all it took was saying that there will be no more toilet paper.”

  29. JC

    Who is and or how are Italian medics distinguishing between regular flu deaths and the Wuhan bug? Are people with say serious breathing problems going into hospital without being tested?

    The reason I ask is this.

    Using that global annual death count from the flu, I worked out there were 2550 deaths a day in China from the regular flu. Italy is 5% of China, population wise and the place is geriatric. Using China stat and proportioning down, it means there should be at least 125 flu deaths a day there.

  30. Struth

    Also a petrol station that went bust.

    Cash flow?

  31. EvilElvis

    Local Woolies, 8am this morning, running like a flat out, peak hour Saturday afternoon. Ridiculous.

    Local butcher mate, Monday which is notoriously slow, 400% up and $10k of orders for the week. Having a hard time getting stock from suppliers.

    The rep for my biggest supplier who would normally come in for an order today has been put on phone orders only. Nationwide policy for that group.

    It’s going to be awesome when it crashes.

  32. Please raise your hand if you are still alive.

    How do I tell if I’m alive?

  33. calli

    Here ya go, Stimps.

    I have grave fears for Lizzie though. She may have been shifted to a four-star. With those cheapie toiletry dispensers screwed onto the wall. Hate those things.

  34. egg_

    We’ll just have to rely on the behaviour of prior panic waves in other Western countries.

  35. egg_

    Please raise your hand if you are still alive.

    How do I tell if I’m alive?

    I type therefore I am.
    /Robot

  36. Struth

    Please raise your hand if you are still alive.

    How do I tell if I’m alive?

    Have you got the shits?

  37. JC

    Artie

    You’re like the Guilfoyle of the Cat

  38. dover_beach

    What’s the COVID-19 mortality rate, again?

    Is stating the data we have at present panicking? No, it isn’t.

  39. Arky

    Also a petrol station that went bust.

    Cash flow?

    ..
    Negative.
    The oil companies set the price you sell at.
    You have zero control, except those snacks. Which I ate most of.
    Don’t judge me, it was really boring and i was hungry.
    Don’t ever buy a service station is my advice.

  40. jupes

    Expect it to plunge tomorrow.

    I expect it to plunge today!

  41. MatrixTransform

    Shopper stabbed in Rosebud supermarket

    First bet was Bentons Square but I was hardly surprised to find it was TheBud

  42. Have you got the shits?

    thanks for the reminder.

    If you don’t shit you are dead.

    I’ve never seem a zombie take a dump.

  43. Arky

    And people fucking mumble.
    Then they get shitty when you ask them to repeat which pump it was. Then you get stressed. Then you eat the high margin snacks.
    Terrible business.

  44. egg_

    Shakespeare would be impressed.

    For Moses sprech from the mountain “don’t forget the bog rolls”, the eleventh commandment.

  45. Infidel Tiger

    Artie

    You’re like the Guilfoyle of the Cat

    Who’s he?

  46. EvilElvis

    Bit hard to have cash flow when any funds you receive for goods or services nowadays are just a tap away for convenience. Thanks boomers.

    At least the banks get a dip at it before you do and the hard to slip a bit away for rainy day when the ATO is locked onto it.

    Cashflow. Whadda y’all know about cashflow…

  47. Shopper stabbed in Rosebud

    and I’ve never been stabbed in the Rosebud.

  48. Cassie of Sydney

    “I have grave fears for Lizzie though. She may have been shifted to a four-star.”

    Actually I have had private email contact with Lizzie…and she and Hairy are fine.

  49. Caveman

    Breaking news……All lawn bowls cancelled nation wide.

  50. dover_beach

    Who is and or how are Italian medics distinguishing between regular flu deaths and the Wuhan bug?

    They would have to be confirmed cases with Wuhan flu. I would think anyone attending a hospital with the typical symptoms is being tested.

  51. Perfidious Albino

    Pater Albino’s aged care home just announced they are going into lock-down from 5pm this afternoon. No visitors allowed, residents restricted to their ‘home’ floors and changing all the door codes.

    Fortunately, I anticipated this turn of events and set him up with an ipad for video calls yesterday.

    I fully expect he will attempt a last dash to the lolly shop down the street before the curfew…

  52. calli

    Thanks, Cassie. I have been genuinely worried about her. And Bruce sailing around portless. The world has gone nuts.

  53. egg_

    How are our Cruisers, Bruce and Lizzie, faring?

  54. calli

    And Jupes in France now caféless.

    But there’s always the wine. And cheese. Much…much wine and cheese.

    Oh, and the local Aldi is cheeseless. Everyone got the same idea at once.

  55. Zulu Kilo Two Alpha

    Actually I have had private email contact with Lizzie…and she and Hairy are fine.

    Thank you, Cassie.

  56. Leigh Lowe

    m0nty
    #3360426, posted on March 17, 2020 at 1:35 pm
    I saw this presser. The CMO was calm and was being pressured to provide figures so he gave an almost flippant number of 1% – ‘do the maths’ and naturally the media has gone into hysteria mode.
    You can’t be flippant as the CMO in stating that official policy of the government which just gave you special powers is that 1% of the population be allowed to die of preventable disease in a pandemic.
    He is rightly getting it fair up the coit.

    I think it was “quoit”, mOnster, but I defer to your vastly superior knowledge of such things.

  57. Infidel Tiger

    Live Monitor
    @amlivemon
    ·
    4h
    Statistics without consideration of variables are totally useless. This will be the coronavirus pandemic’s biggest lesson.

    Yep. The only stat I care about is the employment rate. If unemployment gets bad, we are over.

    Fucking China.

  58. Infidel Tiger

    Pater Albino’s aged care home just announced they are going into lock-down from 5pm this afternoon. No visitors allowed

    Most people in old folks home wouldn’t notice anything different if visitors weren’t allowed.

    Family usually on visit to make sure the will hasn’t changed.

  59. Struth

    Can I ask a question.
    Seeing no one gave a flying fuck at old people dying at one or two per cent of those infected with flu……………
    What’s the maximum accepted percentage before you start to panic, and destroy the nation?

  60. Struth

    Can I ask a question.
    Seeing no one gave a flying fuck at old people dying at one or two per cent of those infected with flu……………
    What’s the maximum accepted percentage before you start to panic, and destroy the nation?

  61. Arky

    Supermarket sales multiples of what they were a week ago.

  62. Infidel Tiger

    Robert J. O’Neill
    @mchooyah

    China did this.

    Never ever forget.

  63. calli

    Not only have we a “Daddy Government” for the weak and insecure here, apparently we have to provide the same for nearby adults.

    There are fears a significant outbreak could overwhelm the limited health systems in most Pacific nations.

    Australia has offered some support with laboratory tests, protective equipment and technical advice for civil servants.

    But critics say it is limited in scope compared to the scale of the potential health crisis in the region, with the Minister for the Pacific, Alex Hawke, being blamed for the shortfall.

    “He’s missing in action in terms of basic provision of public information,” Opposition spokesman for the Pacific Pat Conroy said.

    Anything, however ludicrous, will be hurled at our government by the creepy Opposition. They are past dying of shame.

  64. Struth

    Forget it……………….in moderation for everything.

  65. Stimpson J. Cat

    Here you all are!

    OK Winston just climbed the ladder out of his bunker to get reception.
    Good Man.

  66. jupes

    And Jupes in France now caféless.

    But there’s always the wine. And cheese. Much…much wine and cheese.

    Ha Ha indeed Calli. I’m all set.

  67. EvilElvis

    Forget it……………….in moderation for everything.

    At least the seppos can buy guns!

  68. Stimpson J. Cat

    Can I just say that this is a fantastic opportunity for you all to implement my fitness regime, incorporating ONE meal a day, denim shorts, pull ups, and push ups.
    Let me know when you have vague six packs like me.
    I believe in you!

  69. MatrixTransform

    Bad News: I have just been advised that Dan Murphy’s have shut down their tasting tables nationwide until further notices.

    this bastard virus

  70. Zulu Kilo Two Alpha

    Cheryl
    48 minutes ago
    Zimbabwe’s defence minister has described coronavirus as God’s punishment for the United States and other western countries for imposing economic sanctions on the African country.

    Thank God, I thought it might be someone important but it is just another failed marixist enclave in Africa with an economy about the size of the average child’s piggybank.
    Mal

    Comment, from the Oz. Now we really know who to blame…

  71. Infidel Tiger

    375 cases in Australia.

    Whole economy torpedoed.

    If you see a Chicom today, thank them.

  72. egg_

    Doomsday preppers fight over last can of baked beans in the country.

  73. Nelson Kidd-Players

    That horrible feeling when you’re in moderation and realise it’s a typo in your email.

    Battleship banner.

  74. MatrixTransform

    Let me know when you have vague six packs like me.

    When I was young and fit and even more handsome than now, I used to tell my kids that I had a $5.95 pack

  75. Nelson Kidd-Players

    Preppers shall need to move to the phase of defending their supplies. They are warned toilet paper bunkers may not be sufficient.

  76. mh

    Coronavirus could be spread by rimming, scientists say.

    Who wrote/quoted that?

    lol

  77. Gab

    Have you got the shits?

    If so, use the toilet paper sparingly. Supplement with grass or leaves. Just don’t flush them down the loo.

  78. egg_

    Let me know when you have vague six packs like me.

    Most of us are hasbeens, couldabeens and neverbeens.*

    *Neverbeens will come out on the attack.

  79. cohenite

    If you see a Chicom today, thank them.

    I did, but they didn’t understand what I was saying.

  80. EvilElvis

    Coronavirus could be spread by rimming, scientists say.

    That’ll leave them with a bad taste in the mouth.

  81. Stimpson J. Cat

    Donald J. Trump
    @realDonaldTrump
    The United States will be powerfully supporting those industries, like Airlines and others, that are particularly affected by the Chinese Virus. We will be stronger than ever before!
    6:51 AM · Mar 17, 2020·

    Commies on Suicide Watch.

  82. jupes

    Let me know when you have vague six packs like me.

    How about a four pack with a goony bag at the bottom?

  83. Cactus

    Yes this Virus is bad. But can we be thankful for things it has done? Just like WW2 was bad, but penicillin radar etc are with us.

    A short list off top of my head.
    1) My workplace had spent the last 3 years ratcheting up security measures into some sort of a Get Smart Intro. I have 2 cards for 2 separate doors, 1 of which also needs a passcode to get to my desk, then a separate password for my computer which needs to change every 60 days. Anyway, given Corona risk – they have suspended the pincode (no touching a communal pad) and now one of the doors is open.
    2) Those disgusting Keep-cups at coffee shops – now banned.
    3) the cops arent doing breath tests
    4) My 2k plastic bags are a godsend for the shopping. No repeat of those coles-filth green bags that capture disease.
    5) I can tell lefties that this clearly puts global warming in its place as a fake concern. If it was real – we would have banned flights years ago. This virus looks like in contrast a real issue.

    Any others?

  84. Roger

    Any others?

    The cancellation of writers’ & comedy festivals.

  85. mh

    We must let the housing market crash, but support what is left of our production.

    Only then will we be on the road to recovery.

  86. Porter

    Trump retweeted this and I figure he must have inside info:

    AFP news agency
    @AFP
    ·
    7h
    #UPDATE The first human trial to evaluate a candidate vaccine against the new coronavirus has begun in Seattle, US health officials said Monday, raising hopes in the global fight against the disease

  87. Infidel Tiger

    Universities closing will be a generational gift.

    We must never allow them to reopen.

  88. thefrollickingmole

    Pater Albino’s aged care home just announced they are going into lock-down from 5pm this afternoon.

    Minesite has barrred anything other than critical entries. No visitors and a stat dec needed for anyone who does come in.
    We are basically the little outpost in the Mad max 2 hellscape.
    Ill wait another week to perfect my sorbent toilet paper armor then announce myself as the new Humongous.
    Taking catamite/lackey applications.

  89. mh

    Remember when Trump used to refer to ‘those three great words – Made In America’. It was considered inflammatory language.

    Now the world is hoping China doesn’t cut off medical supplies.

  90. twostix

    Pater Albino’s aged care home just announced they are going into lock-down from 5pm this afternoon. No visitors allowed, residents restricted to their ‘home’ floors and changing all the door codes.

    So…prison, then.

  91. Mother Lode

    If you don’t shit you are dead.

    If you don’t shit then you should be able to spare some toilet paper.

  92. Infidel Tiger

    Have heard from good sources that the only reason our borders are still open is that the government will not turn off the immigration flow.

  93. Nelson Kidd-Players

    I especially like (5), Cactus.

  94. wivenhoe

    Taking catamite/lackey applications.

    yeah, tfm, great try, but sorry to tell you, I am now, and never will be somebodies lackey. I am sure will get many applications though.

  95. EvilElvis

    Universities closing will be a generational gift.

    We must never allow them to reopen.

    Amen!

  96. Infidel Tiger

    Footage of Our Lizzie and Hairy cruising the high seas:

    https://www.facebook.com/news.com.au/videos/861560247628205/

  97. mh

    ‘those three great words – Made In America’.

    Correction. Trump would have used the term ‘beautiful’.

  98. thefrollickingmole

    yeah, tfm, great try, but sorry to tell you, I am now, and never will be somebodies lackey. I am sure will get many applications though.

    Hmm I notice you dont rule out Catamite though….
    That position is easily …filled… but you will need to complete this… hole… application for such a …seminal… position.

    /Finbarr Saunders off.

  99. Mother Lode

    Supermarket sales will decline when people stop panicking and start to live off all their prepper stock.

    People won’t eat their whole stock, of course. There will be some things bought in desperation they people will not eat at their leisure. Vegan dishes for example.

  100. egg_

    Most of us are hasbeens, couldabeens and neverbeens.*

    *Neverbeens will come out on the attack.

    Correction: apparently, it’s the wannabees who are a threat to the talented.

  101. Zatara

    US just banned passengers from UK and Ireland.

  102. notafan

    Nab head office Melbourne have one confirmed case.

    All other staff sent home

  103. Infidel Tiger

    If current supermarket buying trends continue we will all die of obesity long before the flu.

  104. Mother Lode

    For Moses sprech from the mountain “don’t forget the bog rolls”, the eleventh commandment.

    He deliberately left that one out because he didn’t want other people stocking up and leaving none for him.

    And pasta.

  105. Infidel Tiger

    Nab head office Melbourne have one confirmed case.

    All other staff sent home

    Most will never return.

    Great way to find out which staff are paper weights.

  106. wivenhoe

    eah, tfm, great try, but sorry to tell you, I am now, and never will be somebodies lackey. I am sure will get many applications though.
    Hmm I notice you dont rule out Catamite though….
    That position is easily …filled… but you will need to complete this… hole… application for such a …seminal… position.
    /Finbarr Saunders off.

    Ok, my mistake. but also definitely off the table, lol.

  107. Porter

    Stephen Murray
    @smurray38
    ·
    1h
    Breaking: Federal Court has dismissed Michael Staindl’s section 44 challenge to the election of Josh Frydenberg. Staindl mounted a challenge on the grounds of supposed dual citizenship with Hungary through Frydenberg’s mother #auslaw #fortyfouriade

  108. Mother Lode

    And Jupes in France now caféless.

    But there’s always the wine. And cheese. Much…much wine and cheese.

    No one goes to France for the coffee.

  109. notafan

    Much what I was thinking IT

    I wasn’t supposing it would make much difference.

    Quite a few already “working from home’

  110. twostix

    Have heard from good sources that the only reason our borders are still open is that the government will not turn off the immigration flow.

    What is happening is the stock market is revaluing to Australia’s true worth.

    Without infinite Chinese and Indian immigrants bringing over their savings and spending them building dogbox houses and buying furniture it’s about 30% less than we think.

    This is only a problem for people tied up in the ponzi-stockmarket.

    Which thanks to superannuation is everyone now.

    Hmmmmmmmm.

  111. Porter

    Interesting thread (note that “Samantha Maiden’s Liver” is not the journo Sam Maiden but seems to be tweeting a statement from a sex abuse victim who claims they told Bongiorno about their abuse)

    https://twitter.com/MaidenLiver/status/1239470597081423873

  112. egg_

    2) Those disgusting Keep-cups at coffee shops – now banned.

    It takes a real crisis to take Chokey the Sea Turtle off the front pages.

    /Greta

  113. egg_

    Quite a few already “working from home’

    How is trade?

  114. Porter:

    Mates in regional Victoria have been complaining about this for a couple of weeks. Some of the small towns and hamlets have only one general store and even these are being cleaned out.

    At least they are raiding and going back home. If it had been a dirty bomb, or a much worse virus, they’d be staying and demanding housing and support.
    So if 75% of the Australian population lives in the cities and the above scenario happened, could your local town support a 300/400% increase?
    And at what stage do you block the roads and turn people away?
    (The governments since the RGR years have pissed enough money away to have set up a Civil Defence system that could have helped, but no… )

  115. notafan

    Clutchatstraws

    There are vaccinations for the flu.

    People with the flu get medical care.

    The risk in a pandemic (you can look that word up) is that the health system can get overwhelmed and people who might otherwise recover will die.

    It has zero to do with your foolish, demeaning, irrelevant and untruthful ‘you don’t care about people who die of the flu’

    We do care and would be appalled if people with the flu were denied medical care.

  116. egg_

    And Jupes in France

    The land of the great unwashed?

  117. calli

    Vegan dishes for example.

    Well observed.

    No one had touched the vegan stuff at Round Corner Woolies.

    I’m wondering if the hordes of bogus “gluten intolerants” will suddenly find their fetish is no more.

  118. EvilElvis

    2) Those disgusting Keep-cups at coffee shops – now banned.

    I would agree on hygiene concerns but if you lose your keep cups they’ll soon come for your cash.

    I’m still letting keep cups on.

    #coviddiscrimination #gaialyfe

  119. Infidel Tiger

    “Flatten the curve” we understand.

    Flatten the economy I’m not convinced by.

  120. egg_

    We do care and would be appalled if people with the flu were denied medical care.

    Hasn’t Sinc already covered this many times, for the bedwetters?

  121. Infidel Tiger

    In a fortnight all the bins are going to be full of rotting food.

  122. Stimpson J. Cat

    In a fortnight all the bins are going to be full of rotting food.

    Then the hate will shift to Italians because everyone will be stuck eating pasta for years.

  123. Stimpson J. Cat

    Annie give us a Conspiracy update for the Normies, please.

  124. calli

    In a fortnight all the bins are going to be full of rotting food.

    My thoughts exactly.

    Or worse, triage will be bombarded by covids, flus and diarrhoea from rancid meat.

  125. Porter

    In duh news. Once again journalists whipping up hysteria and faux outrage to sell news

    Greg Hunt says a lockdown would impact on healthcare workers and food supplies as Andrew Bragg becomes third politician to test positive.

  126. NoFixedAddress

    Arky
    #3360532, posted on March 17, 2020 at 2:34 pm

    And people fucking mumble.
    Then they get shitty when you ask them to repeat which pump it was. Then you get stressed. Then you eat the high margin snacks.
    Terrible business.

    why but why did you not just shoot them dead

    drag their carcass around the back and torch it

    free car

  127. Leigh Lowe

    2) Those disgusting Keep-cups at coffee shops – now banned.

    About six months after they became a thing, I saw this for the first time.
    Now I see it once a week minimum.
    Customer … usually the chubby middle-aged cat-lady type one might find at KD’s seminar … arrives at counter.
    Hands the scummy grungy keep-cup to the attendant.
    “Large latte, one sugar … oh, and it needs a rinse out”.
    No-one has the balls to say, “Hey, we don’t do your washing up” or “rinsing is 50 cents extra”, because that would be to attack a Defender of Dolphins and Turtles.

  128. lotocoti

    The editorial in the local rag was stop being hysterical dickheads.
    Which was at odds with giving up space on page 3 for an email from some bint’s SiL in Norway having an attack of the WuFlu vapours.

  129. Leigh Lowe

    2) Those disgusting Keep-cups at coffee shops – now banned.

    About six months after they became a thing, I saw this for the first time.
    Now I see it once a week minimum.
    Customer … usually the chubby middle-aged cat-lady type one might find at KD’s seminar … arrives at counter.
    Hands the scummy grungy keep-cup to the attendant.
    “Large latte, one sugar … oh, and it needs a rinse out”.
    No-one has the [email protected] to say, “Hey, we don’t do your washing up” or “rinsing is 50 cents extra”, because that would be to attack a Defender of Dolphins and Turtles.

  130. 8th Dan

    “This lockdown issue. How are children going to handle that? And many adults? Cabin fever? It will crash the NBN and then all hell will break loose!”

    Yep…I have been working from home since last Wednesday….and I am suffering from severe cabin fever. It is not nice.

    Meh, means nothing … you have pre-existing insanity.

  131. Porter

    Naturally all the ABC luvvies and other lefty journos are wishing Braggs – a Liberal senator – well, unlike the response to Dutton. Braggs was a sodomy marriage supporter. Dutton wasn’t.

  132. egg_

    The editorial in the local rag was stop being hysterical dickheads.
    Which was at odds with giving up space on page 3 for an email from some bint’s SiL in Norway having an attack of the WuFlu vapours.

    The MSM’s habit of behaving like clickbait isn’t helping.

  133. notafan

    LL

    Some people missed the embarrassment gene.

    #crapcup

  134. areff

    The Bonge tells the truth, albeit inadvertently:

    Sam that’s completely wrong, without any foundation. I would ‘ve thought a responsible journo would check it out before being so reckless. I have never failed to report what I did not know. The Royal Commission made no adjucation on the claim of one confused victim.

  135. shatterzzz

    Judging by the lack of interest in Bat Flu apart from the supermarket hysterics Fairfield, NSW appears to be getting on with life as before, few masks and RoP coffee shops packed, as normal .. ‘Course out here panic won’t really set in until the CentreLink office puts CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE .. PLEEEZE RING ###^**986 FOR INFORMATION, in 96 languages (English excepted) on the door .. then …… hold my beer!

  136. liliana

    When supermarkets start rationing frozen deserts you know we are on our way to peak idiocy.
    We have become a nation of fucking morons.

  137. Infidel Tiger

    Those keep cups are usually stored in the cupholder of the car and never see a sink let alone detergent.

    Absolutely feral.

    Wouldn’t surprise me if the Chinese got the virus blueprint from them.

  138. Infidel Tiger

    The Bonge tells the truth, albeit inadvertently:

    Sam that’s completely wrong, without any foundation. I would ‘ve thought a responsible journo would check it out before being so reckless. I have never failed to report what I did not know. The Royal Commission made no adjucation on the claim of one confused victim.

    Hilarious on many levels.

    Firstly he is responding to a parody account!

  139. dover_beach

    Vegan dishes for example.

    Now that is panicking!

  140. Boambee John

    Infidel Tiger
    #3360586, posted on March 17, 2020 at 3:28 pm
    Have heard from good sources that the only reason our borders are still open is that the government will not turn off the immigration flow.

    I have been asking about this. If it is true, it makes a nonsense of the whole entry restriction charade.

  141. Porter

    Glad you enjoyed it IT. The ‘parody’ account came back with a zinger.

  142. egg_

    I have never failed to report what I did not know.

    Known unknowns?

  143. DrBeauGan

    If current supermarket buying trends continue we will all die of obesity long before the flu.

    But we’ll have clean bums. Look on the bright side.

  144. Dr Faustus

    In FMD news: The Great Bog Roll Disappearance in numbers:

    Woolworths revealed today it was selling seven weeks supply of toilet paper each and every day.

    This has been going on for about two weeks; so something like 14 x 7 = 98 weeks worth of bog roll off the WOW shelves.

    Assuming this purchase rate is representative across the retail market, this says that – on average – everyone in Australia has stocked up with about 2 years supply of bum fodder.

    Without over-sharing, using the Faustus household consumption rate, this means cupboards everywhere must be groaning with about 250-300 rolls.

    On average.
    Just in case.

    Australia deserves all it gets.

  145. notafan

    Apparently the NAB employee had been tested for chinaflu but thought it would be okay to jump on the train and go to work anyway.

  146. egg_

    1/8th Wang’s coitus with quoits?

  147. twostix

    Assuming this purchase rate is representative across the retail market, this says that – on average – everyone in Australia has stocked up with about 2 years supply of bum fodder.

    Without over-sharing, using the Faustus household consumption rate, this means cupboards everywhere must be groaning with about 250-300 rolls.

    On average.
    Just in case.

    Australia deserves all it gets.

    Clearly your use of averages needs work.

    Nobody has two years worth of toilet paper except a couple of merchant types who are looking to resell at profit later.

  148. notafan

    That’s very ordinary TE

    Business losing £12,000 a day to shoplifting.

    Have a nice day.

    Say something rude on Facebook.

    Sent in SWAT

  149. Fleeced

    Doomsday preppers fight over last can of baked beans in the country.

    No they don’t. Preppers have prepped. If you decide to be a prepper once the crisis has actually started, you’re not a prepper. Some preppers are whacko, but give them that credit at least.

  150. egg_

    Woolworths revealed today it was selling seven weeks supply of toilet paper each and every day.

    Most bound for China?

  151. Roger

    A dispatch from the front line of the war on Xi’s virus:

    Having returned from a sortie to the local Coles I can report that frozen veg is now subject to a 2 packet per customer limit.

    Not a roll of dunny paper to be seen.

    Supply chains are proving less resilient than hoped. This could be a rout.

  152. Farmer Gez

    Assuming this purchase rate is representative across the retail market, this says that – on average – everyone in Australia has stocked up with about 2 years supply of bum fodder.

    We are a country of arseholes QED.

  153. thefrollickingmole

    Top Ender

    Better result than I got going to court for theft/non payment of about $20,000 worth of stock.
    In effect yes they did it, but no we wont grant an enforcement order…

    Followed by 50% of my shitty customers ceasing paying within a month once news got out.

    Followed by losing house, near bankruptcy and the loss of 20 years of stake building…

    The refusal of courts to actually enforce contracts is a blatant curse to small business.

  154. DrBeauGan

    Most bound for China?

    A bog-roll led recovery?

  155. Tintarella di Liuna

    London bobbies are now too busy logging non-crimes and chasing people down for their thinking

  156. I saw this interesting take on the toilet paper weirdness off of 8kun a few days ago.

    Good gear, Anne, as per.
    Love

  157. Spurgeon Monkfish III

    BREAKING NEWS: In an attempt to quell COVFEFE-19 induced hysteria, PM Goose Morristeen warns Ozzies they’re more at risk of receiving a self-inflicted injury during a supermarket stoush over toilet paper than have a terrorist fridge fall over on them.

    “We will not let the risk of supermarket stoushes over toilet paper change the way we Ozzies exist”, the PM stated.

  158. Spurgeon Monkfish III

    Bluddee hell – spaminator just ate a comment and it’s not apparent why. Or are all lame jokes about COVFEFE-19 going into auto moderation?

  159. Spurgeon Monkfish III

    BREAKING NEWS: In an attempt to quell COVFEFE-19 induced hysteria, PM Goose Morristeen warns Ozzies they’re more at risk of receiving a self-inflicted injury during a supermarket stoush over toilet paper than have a fridge of peace fall over on them.

    “We will not let the risk of supermarket stoushes over toilet paper change the way we Ozzies exist”, the PM stated.

  160. dover_beach

    Assuming this purchase rate is representative across the retail market, this says that – on average – everyone in Australia has stocked up with about 2 years supply of bum fodder.

    Yeah nah. The average is lying. We had a pack of 8 in the cupboard and we bought a pack of 6, I think, mid last week for peace of mind.

  161. Spurgeon Monkfish III

    OK, I give up. On a brighter note my shares went up by almost 10% today. Inexplicable.

  162. Methinks the ants are part of this commie disease plot.

  163. egg_

    Bluddee hell – spaminator just ate a comment and it’s not apparent why. Or are all lame jokes about COVFEFE-19 going into auto moderation?

    Sinc’s prepping all comments for the Apocalypse.

  164. All lawn bowls cancelled nation wide.

    BlackBall&Arma in the garage with the hose hooked up to the exhaust on the Toyota Crowns!
    Don’t call the Hotline,FFS!
    Just chill,please

  165. NoFixedAddress

    good to see the hollywood experts keep telling the truth

  166. Some preppers are whacko, but give them that credit at least.

    Winston completely vindicated.
    Flawless victory, natch
    Almost like he gets inside Intel….

  167. Fleeced

    If viruses were named after people, like cyclones, what should we call coronavirus?

    As much as I’d like a Chinese name – to denote their responsibility – I think I’d end up going with Greta.

  168. Infidel Tiger

    It was actually 7 days of toilet paper bought every day, not 7 weeks.

    Not surprisingly the media got it all wrong.

    Panic gets clicks.

    They were advising a “55% jump in cases” in WA yesterday.

    We still have under 30 in a state of 2.5million.

  169. Infidel Tiger

    If viruses were named after people, like cyclones, what should we call coronavirus?

    Xi.

  170. zyconoclast

    Zimbabwe Gives Land Back to White Farmers After Wrecking Economy

    Two decades after President Robert Mugabe wrecked Zimbabwe’s economy by urging black subsistence farmers to violently force white commercial farmers and their workers off their land, his successor has thrown in the towel.

    Emmerson Mnangagwa’s government has proposed settling all outstanding claims against it by farmers by offering them land.

  171. Fleeced

    It was actually 7 days of toilet paper bought every day, not 7 weeks.

    Not surprisingly the media got it all wrong.

    Panic gets clicks.

    Big difference… Fucking media.

  172. egg_

    Methinks the ants are part of this commie disease plot.

    Is China that hungry for dunny paper?
    If the Feds are aware of shipments, they’re not saying anything.

  173. Snoopy

    Zimbabwe Gives Land Back to White Farmers After Wrecking Economy

    Not quite. The government has an ‘out’.

  174. zyconoclast

    1s1s issues coronavirus travel advice: terrorists should avoid Europe

    The 1s1s terrorist group is steering clear of Europe because of the coronavirus. Having previously urged its supporters to attack European cities, the group is now advising members to “stay away from the land of the epidemic” in case they become infected.

    The group has issued a new set of “[email protected] directives” that instruct followers to “cover their mouths when yawning and sneezing” and to wash their hands regularly. 1s1s militants have plenty of experience in covering their faces, though previously they did so to hide their identities when beheading hostages on camera.

  175. Infidel Tiger

    It’s our job to make sure job no one forgets this is China’s doing.

    Drop their name into everything.

    Pariah State is the goal. We can do it.

  176. egg_

    Preppers have prepped.

    Our Winston is a true prepper, not a panic merchant.

  177. There has been a run on sugar.

    The ant army on the march requires food.

  178. Fleeced

    I’ve seen a couple FB threads where people have commented on buying serviette, paper towels and wipes to use because they couldn’t get TP. In every one of these threads, never fail, some do-gooder posts a response telling them these items are not supposed to be flushed.

    What are they expecting them to do with them after they’ve wiped? Nasty.

    Oh, and the bit about serviette and paper towels not breaking down is complete and utter BS. If they don’t flush properly it’s because you’ve got shitty environmental toilets that use hardly any water.

  179. Infidel Tiger

    Wow.

    catallaxy spaminator blocking the name of China’s President. The man behind the virus.

    Sinc has been bought and sold!

  180. Infidel Tiger

    I just shower after I shit.

    Restaurants not impressed!

  181. Arky

    Daughter finished all three seasons of original Star Trek on NetFlix over last few weeks.
    Amazed to find there is a whole other Star Trek The Next generation. Should have seen the expression on her face.
    Welcome to the 1980s and Captain Picard, sweetheart.

  182. Fleeced

    catallaxy spaminator blocking the name of China’s President.

    Who? Winnie the Flu?

    Probably Chinese programmers updating the public libraries used by spam filters.

  183. Arky

    catallaxy spaminator blocking the name of China’s President.

    ..
    Test:
    Winnie the Pooh?

  184. Arky

    No you lie again infinitely wrong tigger.

  185. Sinc has been bought and sold!

    yep.
    replace with Zee

  186. JC

    Just reverse the letters of the fucker’s name. iX

  187. Dr Faustus

    It was actually 7 days of toilet paper bought every day, not 7 weeks.

    So, an average of something like 40 hoarded bog rolls per Australian household.
    Much better.

    For a moment I thought rationality had left us.

  188. Side effect
    The sign above the door in a theatre is also banned,

  189. Fleeced

    Wait, I can’t say Exit?

  190. We are basically the little outpost in the Mad max 2 hellscape.

    Oh god, I’m soooo excited!!!!!
    I’m predicting a yuuge spike in gasoline drive offs.
    When everyone’s on $300 P/W, ain’t nobody got the scratch for dat!
    #MadMax

  191. Farmer Gez

    Our daughter has decided to come home from Uni for the rest of semester. Hooray!!!
    A breeding ground for illness. Mother is very happy.

  192. Fleeced

    Far out – that is a badly designed filter. Filtering out a two character substring? Sloppiest thing I’ve seen.

    If a programmer did that, they should be shot. If Sinc did it, he should have all alcohol (and tonic water) confiscated.

  193. Infidel Tiger

    Our daughter has decided to come home from Uni for the rest of semester. Hooray!!!
    A breeding ground for illness. Mother is very happy.

    Breeding ground for mental illnesses.

  194. I’ve liberated 10 rolls of TP paper, locked on my big yellow site Box.
    Caught and I’ll get thrown off site.
    Milk in the shed fridges is my next target.
    No milk at Coles. Got a 2l iced coffee for my morning cuppa 😏

  195. Breeding ground for mental illnesses.

    “You should see the Damage,Bronze…huh?…Metal Damage….Brain Damage…”
    NightRider

  196. JC

    A young dude told me today that his uni lectures and tutes are done over the internet for the time being. The students have been instructed to wear what they do when attending classes. Apparently their cameras show them when asking a question etc and the clothing standards weren’t up to scratch

  197. mh

    When the $750 dollar payments are deposited into people’s accounts – not until March 31 – there will be another spike in bog roll sales.

  198. Restaurants not impressed

    😂🤣🤣
    Stop,please

  199. Cardimona

    Dinner with Bob now brought forward two hours so he can catch a plane.
    He was up here for the week but has had a call from Canberra about the XiFlu that has convinced him to high-tail it for home.
    Interesting…

  200. Cardimona

    OK, there’s new words in the InSincerator…
    Let’s try it without the name of the Premier of a large People’s Republic.

    Dinner with Bob now brought forward two hours so he can catch a plane.
    He was up here for the week but has had a call from Canberra about the (bug) that has convinced him to high-tail it for home.
    Interesting…

  201. Infidel Tiger

    Oh boy!

    Apparently the overseas call centres are in complete meltdown.

    Telstra, Citibank, Amex etc all getting smashed because the Phillipines is in lockdown.

  202. vr

    A young dude told me today that his uni lectures and tutes are done over the internet for the time being.

    I can confirm this. In fact, we are moving in that direction and I hear from a colleague at UNSW that they have been told that academics should be prepared to move lectures to online by tomorrow.

    Hope you had shares in zoom because that is what we are using to organsise tutorials/lectuers.

  203. egg_

    Telstra, Citibank, Amex etc all getting smashed because the Phillipines is in lockdown.

    Optus seems to use Injuns “in Adelaide”.
    /Poor [email protected]

  204. JC

    Oh yea, he mentioned called zoom. Cool.

  205. calli

    As much as I’d like a Chinese name – to denote their responsibility – I think I’d end up going with Greta.

    Gleta?

  206. mh

    BetEasy US President Elect 2020 market

    Joe Biden $2.00
    Donald Trump $2.10

  207. Tailgunner:

    Winston completely vindicated.
    Flawless victory, natch
    Almost like he gets inside Intel….

    Annie and I are besties.

  208. And at what stage do you block the roads and turn people away?
    Ooooo
    Here we go!
    Get ready,mofos!!!!!
    Confirmed!!!!

  209. Struth

    Clutchatstraws

    There are vaccinations for the flu.

    The numbers of flu deaths are the number of flu deaths with flu shots and medical care and still they die.
    you reinforce my argument!

    People with the flu get medical care.
    And still they die.

    The risk in a pandemic (you can look that word up) is that the health system can get overwhelmed and people who might otherwise recover will die.

    There is yet no vaccine and this is killing only slightly above everyday flus.
    And same demographic.
    Are you saying flus are worse?

    People will die locked in their fucking homes, too scared to venture out to get their fucking blood pressure tablets or visit each other to check on each other’s old timers disease, or hand over a pumpkin from the garden.

    It has zero to do with your foolish, demeaning, irrelevant and untruthful ‘you don’t care about people who die of the flu’

    Simpletons and statistics.

    We do care and would be appalled if people with the flu were denied medical care.

    How many people are denied medical care in Venezuela?
    Panic like lunatics and get magical Cuban health care.
    Bloody women.
    I wonder how the west would have reacted if we had ’em back in the kitchen.

  210. Annie and I are besties.

    That explains it.
    But she’d never let you reveal that.
    I smell Clinton’s!

  211. Ed Case

    Cable ties and duct tape, gunner.
    You can never have too much.

  212. calli

    And WD40. And a lump hammer.

  213. Thanks, mh. I noted that earlier, was going to post but then duty called.
    Biden now frontrunner.
    🤣🤣
    Buy the Dips, peeps!
    $$$ is king in MadMax too.
    But I can’t go at it – husbanding my resources for the coming shutdown…
    Fk it. I’ll just blow it anyway.
    I can live on $300p/W for awhile.
    #Wagonlyfe

  214. Struth keeps on proving he is the dumbest person at the Cat.

  215. egg_

    And WD40*. And a lump hammer.

    *And a cigarette lighter – to fight off the Sino raiders of the lost fart.

  216. egg_

    Have fake Chinese Police cars made a reappearance?

  217. notafan

    Good grief.

    Stop beclowning yourself.

  218. Struth

    Struth keeps on proving he is the dumbest person at the Cat.

    Thank you.
    From you that really means something

  219. egg_

    Struth keeps on proving he is the dumbest person at the Cat.

    From the Chief Wrongologist.

  220. calli

    Sorry, nota. The scatter cushions were a step too far. 🤣

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