Scotty From Human Resources

   “There is no economic reason for you to go to work.”

 
LET it be said that the Prime Minister is now an impressive ringleader of exaggerated emergency. Authoritative in his delivery, nervously robust – if anything, thriving rudely – and masterful in the art of pretending to know. I say this with a degree of admiring seriousness. Scott Morrison is a brilliant retail politician, a lectern virtuoso whose Aussie savoir-faire now exceeds that of even Bob Hawke who – truth be told – never managed a crisis of even middling historical consequence. A good measure of how solidly the Prime Minister is connecting with the electorate is Kevin Rudd’s Twitter page. He is now virtually the only person in the country obsessively mocking and excoriating “Scotty from marketing” (as he still delights in calling him). The mega-rich gentleman tweeter really thought chroniclers of early 21st century Australia would rate him as Henry Parkes, Nugget Coombs and Tony Barber all rolled into one lovable hand-balling package. In the ornithology of greatness, alas, the GFC is a tanned sparrow at a time when only genuine Black Swans Matter. Policy and personality-wise, I doubt Anthony Albanese would have overseen this pandemic any differently. He is – or, given the chance, would likely become – equally capable as the Commonwealth’s ground announcer.

Faint praise aside, his declaration that Trenchant Quarantinos needn’t concern themselves with work because a new payment was theirs for the taking is one of the most arrogant and shocking made by a Prime Minister. The fact that he was ‘only’ referring to a 14-day stretch in self-isolation is irrelevant. It is not for Mr Morrison or any other members of the country’s remuneration-hogging Nomenklatura to say whether or not you “need” to work. Does anybody seriously believe that senate backbenchers or MPs for Woop-Woop are essential – that they need to ‘work’? Why are they being paid? Scott Morrison is a Liberal – yet his worst traits are paternalistic contempt for everyman’s freedom and loyalty to politico-bureaucratic Brahmans. For everyone else, mere rations do not satisfy the human need to strive, climb, contribute, connect and provide. You might overlook the condescension of a leader seeing himself as Bumpy Johnson doling out stolen turkeys in the ghetto but only once or twice. He and his “National Cabinet” confrères have been pompously separating the Essential from the Non-Essential for months. They’re not the only ones. It has become a coronavirus dogma that ‘the economy’ is a luxury we can no longer afford. Inversions of rationality and reality don’t come much weirder than that.

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38 Responses to Scotty From Human Resources

  1. stackja

    Put all MPs and public servants on half pay. We are all in this together.

  2. Faye

    I have no compulsion to watch Mr Morrison when he speaks. Why is that? I don’t know. I loved to watch Tony Abbott because I found it exciting to hear the next adventure Australia was going into. I loved watching Turnbull – I did so because I loathed him so much. I neither love nor hate Mr Morrison so why don’t I ever watch him?

  3. stackja

    Kev never got to go to run the UN.

  4. Anonandon

    And now Dictator Dan is requiring people to carry papers to present on demand. Re-education camps next.

  5. j.arimathea

    Essential vs non-essential. Bunnings closed to the plebs but Dan Murphy’s open. So rather than getting that can of paint and doing over the back bedroom, I’ll just get a 6-pack and watch the TV.

  6. Ozman

    Indoctrinating the intoxicated makes life easy for the NWO. People painting the fence and doing odd jobs around the house, means they are not listening. Productivity is no longer needed. Sit back and collect your UBI and believe what you see on TV.

  7. Shy Ted

    I’m with Faye at 11:17. He’s failed every test of even notionally representing anyone but the UN so why waste my time? You know what’s coming, protect your assets, defend your castle.

  8. egg_

    Authoritative in his delivery, nervously robust – if anything, thriving rudely – and masterful in the art of pretending to know.

    Au contraire.
    Comes across to yours truly as nervous but aggressive – as if backed into a corner – in ALL interviews; he was more confident when Abbott, as PM, had his back.
    Just a toadie, not a natural leader in the least.
    Scotty-from-Marketing is very apt.
    Andrews comes across as having far more clout – small wonder he had the [email protected] to go against Marketing boy’s “National Cabinet”.

  9. egg_

    Does anybody seriously believe that senate backbenchers or MPs for Woop-Woop are essential – that they need to ‘work’?

    Anyone who can “work from home” for 2 months doesn’t “work”, period.

  10. egg_

    a lectern virtuoso whose Aussie savoir-faire now exceeds that of even Bob Hawke

    Your memory must be fading, if you’re comparing the current crop of third-raters with top leaders of the past.
    If KRudd were LOTO, he’d crucify SloMo.

  11. C.L.

    No, my memory is fine.
    Bob Hawke wasn’t a “top leader” and I didn’t mention a “crop.”

  12. Neil

    If KRudd were LOTO, he’d crucify SloMo.

    Correct but only because Labor leaders lie better.

    In 2007 Rudd promised a NBN costing taxpayers $4.7B and finished by 2013. Promised to turn back the boats if they started coming again

    Both major lies which only the ALP could get away with

  13. Roger

    Scott Morrison is a brilliant retail politician…

    Only because Australians are so gullible.

    Frankly I wouldn’t buy a used car from him.

  14. Iampeter

    Faint praise aside…

    Wait, the preceding paragraph of trying to tie Rudd into another conservative disaster, because narrative, was “faint praise?”

    …his declaration that Trenchant Quarantinos needn’t concern themselves with work because a new payment was theirs for the taking is one of the most arrogant and shocking made by a Prime Minister.

    Yea, another conservative leader who is basically on the level of the most clueless Bernie Bro.
    Who could’ve guessed at such a thing…

  15. Roger

    His only conviction seems to be that he supports the Sharks.

    On anything else he’s a soft pillow who bears the impression of whoever last sat on him (h/t Gen Haig).

    We can at least be thankful that in regard to China he’s been getting good advice lately.

  16. Tom Atkinson

    Excellent, thank you, CL!

  17. Rex Anger

    IamPeter- Black is white, up is down, conservatives and even ‘wets’ and moderates are all raging socialistas, and I am Right and you are not.

    Every. Single. Time.

    It may not be objective. It may not be rational. But at least the hatred and contempt for everything that is not him is consistent.

    #IamDalek?

  18. Rebel with cause

    Scotty ascribes to the notion that what is popular, is right.

    It’ll cause all sorts of pain for him when the weather starts warming up and the job losses mount.

  19. Rex Anger

    @ duncanm-

    #IamBot

    The NPCocalypse cometh… 😛

    We are the Blorgh. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile, but feels very nice. But not in an exploitative colonialist or non-consenual or anti-LGBTIQQAPP##$$=44….++==!ERROR!ERROR!FATAL EXCEPTION SYSTEM 32 way…

  20. H B Bear

    If nobody goes to work (and pays tax) the magical unicorn ride will be pretty short.

    Someone needs to point this out to SloMo. And probably Treasury.

  21. candy

    You have to admire the circle or best work buddies he has around him, though they are quite in the shadows, but I feel a special group is there that he trusts and listens to every day.

    They must spend a lot of time reading and polling to precisely frame popular policies and Scott Morrison’s personality for the policy or whatever news event, so that his response fits what polling says people want to hear, and PM Morrison does his part very well indeed.

    It is a brilliant “retail politician” group, reactive and responsive to events etc, hitting the spot.

  22. Boambee John

    HBB

    Someone needs to point this out to SloMo. And probably Treasury.

    The bin chicken was exrolling the virtues of Treasury modelling yesterday. No doubt they have an app, sorry, model, for this eventuality.

    It goes by the codename MMT.

  23. John A

    Neil #3534951, posted on August 4, 2020 at 12:28 pm

    If KRudd were LOTO, he’d crucify SloMo.

    Correct but only because Labor leaders lie better.

    In 2007 Rudd promised a NBN costing taxpayers $4.7B and finished by 2013.

    No, he never promised that. His and Conroy’s NBN dream was a “big number” to outbid the Howard government’s modest 4.7Bn upgrade of the internet backbone. So they invented the 26Bn and had to come up with some grandiose plan (bigger than Rex Connor), hence the NBN. Behind it was the re-nationalisation of Telstra and the entire telecoms network.

  24. Beachcomber

    ……. Bob Hawke who – truth be told – never managed a crisis of even middling historical consequence.

    Truth be told, Hawke for all his lack of conviction and substance, did not improperly destroy businesses and employment and impose a totalitarian police state in unprecedented idiotic policy stupidity and arrogance.

  25. billie

    I can kind of understand how Rudd’s ego is challenged by anyone appearing popular .. he wasn’t troubled by Turnbull on that count though, scotty however ..

    when first elected, Rudd’s festival of the 1,000 faithful was hailed by the media as a god like blessing event, like a Kumbh Mala in India. indeed the very sitting on the floor by such a godlike presence astounded many and the abc staff near soiled themselfs in prostration, such grovelling sycophants

    one of them, made the now benchmark Australian grovel “I do hope that you continue to enjoy your time as Prime Minister and enjoy bringing us all along with you … Prime Minister: We salute you!” now called a “doogue grovel”

    and you wonder at the size of his ego?

  26. mem

    President Donald Trump on Monday repeated that a strategy of a long time or permanent lockdown was never an option to defeat the corona virus entirely.

    “It’s important that all Americans recognize that a permanent lockdown is not a viable path toward producing the result that you want, or certainly not a viable path forward,” Trump said.
    More here:
    Australia even gets a mention as a failed strategy ie we have failed to contain the virous and wrecked our economy.

    https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2020/08/03/donald-trump-coronavirus-lockdowns-do-not-prevent-infection-in-the-future/#

  27. Neil

    No, he never promised that. His and Conroy’s NBN dream was a “big number” to outbid the Howard government’s modest 4.7Bn upgrade of the internet backbone. So they invented the 26Bn

    In 2007 Rudd/ALP promised a NBN costing taxpayers $4.7B and finished by 2013. After winning the election they put the proposal out for tender but there were no takers so the election promise was thrown into the bin. They came up with the current project on a plane flight in 2009

    August 7th 2007

    Labor commits to investing up to $4.7 billion into a new high speed national broadband network for 98 per cent of Australians. This will be fibre optic to the node. 12 megabits per second – and capable of upscaling. It will be laid out over 5 years in partnership with the private sector.

  28. egg_

    I didn’t mention a “crop.”

    You think that Scotty-from-Marketing stands out from the crowd as a Leader?

  29. egg_

    Scotty ascribes to the notion that what is popular, is right.

    Scotty-from-Marketing.
    It will all end in tears.

  30. Squirrel

    “….Henry Parkes, Nugget Coombs and Tony Barber all rolled into one lovable hand-balling package…”

    Nice work, although having spent time with Barber and Kevin 07 (not simultaneously) I never quite thought of K 07 as the Cambridge Whistler or the person you’d most like to have on the telly while having your chop and two veg.

    Given that that so much of the language about dealing with the virus has a military flavour, I hope that Morrison and co. have an exit strategy which will work in reality, not just in the imagination of highly paid Bubble-dwellers.

  31. Stackja:

    Kev never got to go to run the UN.

    But it was his turn!

  32. Cynic of Ayr

    So, 1500 Buckazoids! Per fortnight I assume. CentreLink is unaware of any other passage of time. Everything is a “fortnight”
    So, 750 a week. 750 is a low wages these days. yes, I know, there are people on that, and less!
    Of course, it will be taxable!
    But, pay off a house – a cheap $300,000 house, and a vehicle, with 750 a week.
    Bear in mind, not one single public servant has either lost his/her job, nor suffered a reduction in pay. Not one!
    This when so many hundreds of Public Activity Supervisors – inspectors etc, must be woefully underemployed, when there is no one to inspect.
    Perhaps, just perhaps, Rudd is correct for once in his life. Morrison is a Marketer of goods, not a Creator of goods. Although, to be fair, no Government ever is. Governments are consumers, not creators.

  33. Is $750 after tax really that low?

    Per person?

    In a 2+ person household?

    Outside of metro areas with a spare +40 hours a week, it is actually remarkably good.

  34. Eyrie

    As the Americans say ” even a blind hog finds the occasional acorn”. Rudd is right for once. So is PlasticChook about nonsense exemptions from quarantine.

  35. Eyrie

    OT but what happened to the Open Forum?

  36. Alex

    Up here in the Whitsundays we are fortunate not to experience the draconian civil liberty sapping policies of the intellectual minnow known as Kim Dong Dan. What I don’t understand is why hasn’t there been a popular uprising like we have just seen in Berlin? If I was living in Victoriastan I’d be arranging local protests with my fellow septuagenarians. I’d love to see Danny Boy garnishee old farts’ pensions to pay his likely illegal fines. Meanwhile its Airlie beach Race Week for all those lucky to escape Victoriastan and New Welcher Land before the embargo. Lots of CV1984 refugees here at present.

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