Joe Montana

 No boyfriends until you’re 30, Idaho                                                                                                   

In other mapping news, NASA announces a new mission – to discover hurt feelings everywhere in the universe:

Distant cosmic objects such as planets, galaxies, and nebulae are sometimes referred to by the scientific community with unofficial nicknames. As the scientific community works to identify and address systemic discrimination and inequality in all aspects of the field, it has become clear that certain cosmic nicknames are not only insensitive, but can be actively harmful. NASA is examining its use of unofficial terminology for cosmic objects as part of its commitment to diversity, equity, and inclusion.

As an initial step, NASA will no longer refer to planetary nebula NGC 2392, the glowing remains of a Sun-like star that is blowing off its outer layers at the end of its life, as the “Eskimo Nebula.” “Eskimo” is widely viewed as a colonial term with a racist history, imposed on the indigenous people of Arctic regions. Most official documents have moved away from its use. NASA will also no longer use the term “Siamese Twins Galaxy” to refer to NGC 4567 and NGC 4568, a pair of spiral galaxies found in the Virgo Galaxy Cluster. Moving forward, NASA will use only the official, International Astronomical Union designations in cases where nicknames are inappropriate.

“I support our ongoing reevaluation of the names by which we refer to astronomical objects,” said Thomas Zurbuchen, associate administrator of NASA’s Science Mission Directorate at Headquarters, Washington. “Our goal is that all names are aligned with our values of diversity and inclusion, and we’ll proactively work with the scientific community to help ensure that. Science is for everyone, and every facet of our work needs to reflect that value.”

This response to NASA’s latest exploration of the grievance galaxy is a joke – for now. It’s only a matter of time.

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26 Responses to Joe Montana

  1. Bronson

    Obviously NASA has solved all the astrophysics problems in the universe and with time on their hands are now turning their vast scientific intellect to cosmic nick names. Another public servant organisation burning up tax money.

  2. Megan

    As someone in the twitter comments said, in 1958 NASA was going to have a base on the moon, be mining asteroids for rare metals by 2020. Instead they are renaming black holes because ‘offensive’.

    Get back to your core business and stop with the meaningless gestures.

  3. a reader

    This must be approaching peak stupidity. I hope the scientists keep using the names just to piss off the woke

  4. cuckoo

    So what happens to the Adventures of Eskimo Nell?

  5. Papachango

    Wasn’t that long ago that the NASA chief said that their primary goal was to”

    “find a way to reach out to the Muslim world and engage much more with dominantly Muslim nations to help them feel good about their historic contribution to science, math and engineering

    Assume they ticked that off the list then… and now they can get started on rectifying non-PC wrongs…

  6. Lee

    Sick of all this woke, PC bullshit.

  7. herodotus

    The Crap Nebula: where NASA now resides.
    Somewhere between Beta Genderi and planet Climaticus Scamartis.

  8. Phill

    On Biden, I hear he can’t wait to find out who he picked as his running mate.

  9. Sirocco

    Will “white dwarfs” be banned?

  10. Come on Man what’s with this space stuff , you know , it’s all about those lying crazy dog faced pony soldiers … Come on Man , if you don’t know … here’s the answer ….. Black Matter Lives .

  11. John A

    Any organisation which is not explicitly right-wing will, over time, grow to become left-wing.
    Robert Conquest’s Second Law of Politics mid-1990s probably now better attributed to John O’Sullivan in 1989.

  12. Feminist academics should hand back their Batchelor and Masters degrees.

  13. Mother Lode

    certain cosmic nicknames are not only insensitive, but can be actively harmful

    Actively harmful?

    Please tell me these are just some holdovers from Obama’s Presidency.

    This is the sort of nonsense you would expect from a mediocre intellect that cannot focus on a detail and at the same time maintain a connection with the whole – they think in distorted abstractions that they mistake for the real. And because they always have answers (albeit wrong) they think they are clever.

    Like those kids who see buying a hamburger as essentially a power relationship, complimenting a woman who has changed her hair on her new style as treating her like an object, and voicing an opinion they don’t like as violence which puts it on the same level as…well…actual violence.

  14. Mother Lode

    It is frequently said that the Left can’t meme.

    But I truly cannot imagine the left coming up with something like that. This is not like some cartoonist (such as Rowe) inserting images of Trump into one of his stale homoerotic tortured dreamscapes. This is a map that already existed and is being printed or shown on TV screens every day. He is being mocked for his own peccadilloes.

    The Left like to see themselves as the intelligent, educated, and nuanced ones. At best they can sneer. They must lie (fake news has had to be industrialised to supply the demand). They can do Orwell’s ’10 minute hate’ sessions. But they don’t laugh. They can’t see humour.

    They must laboriously construct monuments to their own intellect for which others must have memorised all the same talking points. They make the same ‘joke’ in 10 or 50 different ways – but nevertheless the same joke. It just isn’t as satisfying.

    But spontaneity, immediacy and ‘funny’ they cannot do.

    And it drives them nuts.

  15. A Lurker

    Dark Matter?
    Black Hole?
    Milky Way Galaxy?
    Dark side of the Moon?
    White Dwarf?
    Brown Dwarf?

    The grievance opportunities are as endless as the stars in the night sky.

  16. Colonel Bunty Golightly


  17. Mother Lode


    Fun fact: The rings of Uranus are distinctive, reflecting almost no light and not robust.

    Uranus has week rings.

    Think about the medical consequences of this.

    And social.

  18. Bear Necessities

    Joe Montana. Brady probably has better stats but Joe had the charisma.

  19. Roger W

    “This must be approaching peak stupidity.”
    Consider the fact that shows like Monty Python and Yes Minister were taking the piss out of this sort of thing 40 or more years ago and it is hard to judge just when Peak Stupidity could possibly be reached. Sadly, I fear we have a long way to go yet.
    As for Red Dwarf Stars, I’ve always associated Red with a racist reference to Native Americans, Dwarf with a slur on vertically challenged humans and Star with the white privilege of Hollywood, so I don’t know where we go from here.

  20. Scott Osmond

    Start defunding them. If they aren’t doing the core reason for funding them strip it away. A few woke on the breadline might serve as an example to others.

  21. The Manager

    Black holes matter!

  22. wozzup

    Oh come on guys let’s not be too hard. I think he just wants Idaho to rub Montana’s leg hairs.
    (It is kinda freaky though).

  23. Kneel

    What about WIMPs and MACHOs?
    Physics needs to get on-board as well!

    Amusingly, they don’t use “black hole” in Russia – the obvious connotation in English is, umm, pretty much actual in Russian.
    Imagine that –
    “What sort of star is that, Dad?”
    “It’s an arsehole.”

  24. The Manager may be correct;

    Black holes matter!

    or “Antimatter”

    Boom boom!

Comments are closed.