Alan Jones on the haka

Alan Jones has a piece on the haka in The Australian to day:

The British empire was thriving and those living in the British Isles enjoyed the novelty of seeing visiting teams from the colonies.

The All Blacks, Springboks and the Wallabies all obliged in Britain; but rarely would they perform a war dance at home. It was seen as a bit of a joke on home soil, way back then.

As things evolved, the Springboks and Wallabies eventually dropped their war dances, but the All Blacks maintained theirs. They call it the haka.

I have to say, I don’t mind a bit of song and dance. It is part of the entertainment.  But I do agree with Alan Jones on this point:

At the end of the day, the haka is simply a war dance, the issuing of a challenge. At the risk of upsetting some, my view is it should only be performed on New Zealand soil when they are defending their home turf. I think it extraordinary that World Rugby allows the All Blacks to do the haka wherever they go. Remember, they get a national anthem as well.

It is even more absurd that their opponents are forced to stand and watch as the All Blacks aggressively summon the spirit of Tumatauenga, the Maori god of war, to be with them in battle.

Why should they have to stand 20m away? I would be saying to the team, get in their faces. It wouldn’t be the first time this has happened. You might recall the French stood toe-to-toe with the All Blacks during the haka at the Rugby World Cup quarterfinal in 2007. Les Bleus went on to win that Test 20-18.

Anyway – turns out there is a rugby match on over the weekend.

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32 Responses to Alan Jones on the haka

  1. Bruce of Newcastle

    The Haka is patriotic.
    Kneeling during the anthem is unpatriotic.
    And player who does it should be booted from the Australian squad.

  2. Rex Anger

    And if you kneel for the haka, ou have not only signalledyur surrender before the whole thing starts.

    That’s instant dismissal and automatic confiscation of Man Card, on the spot.

    Do not pass Go, do not collect 200 Shill-y-dollars..

  3. C.L.

    I agree with Jones 100 percent.
    The All Blacks are the only team in the world given the privilege of shutting down the pre-match mental preparations of their opponents. Not only that but to avoid charges of wacism and diswespect, the way opposing teams respond is now mandated by the IRB. They may not encroach upon NZ (the rule is 20 metres), may not ridicule them, may not advance upon them (as the French once did), may not do anything except stand in awe.

    The imperious David Campese contemptuously practiced his kicks during the haka at the 1991 World Cup. A perfectly reasonable mind game in its own right, it would not be allowed today:

  4. C.L.

    Campo went on in that game to mentally destroy the Kiwis with one of the great try set-ups in world cup history. The Wallabies won.

  5. covid ate my homework

    This is an idiotic game! I don’t understand it and I don’t want to. Imaging throwing some bloke up to mess with ball is nothing short of ridiculous, clearly this game has it’s roots in the pagan tradition of kicking the shit out of anyone that gets in your way while getting to the line. Your reward is a slice of pudding?

    All that shit aside, fuck the haka, fuck the kiwi’s. How can these idiot leftist islanders buy an $AUD for a $NZD 1.06. FUCK OFF, how rigged is this shit.

  6. covid ate my homework

    Sorry, Beer o’clock was some time ago.

  7. covid ate my homework

    What’s their excuse? Auckland’s a little south of Sydney and Willington is a little south of Melbourne but north of Hobart (though they’re a little weird) by a bit. Why are they so dumb.

  8. vlad

    turns out there is a rugby match on over the weekend

    Isn’t it like bowls or tiddlywinks or soccer and they’re always playing it somewhere or other?

    It’s not as though it’s football.

  9. Clam Chowdah

    I’d the retards from that hobby country an get a leg up with a pre match psych session then Australian team should be allowed to do donuts in a sandman while chucking brown eyes out the passenger window.

  10. Bruce of Newcastle

    I agree with Jones 100 percent.
    The All Blacks are the only team in the world given the privilege of shutting down the pre-match mental preparations of their opponents.

    Just means their opponents aren’t sufficiently innovative or agile.
    A good solid 15 man smoking ceremony would make their eyes water.
    Use the right eucalyptus and the Kiwis would be on puffers all match.

  11. stackja

    By the time the Wallabies started their tour of New Zealand in 1986, Jones had created a persona for himself and his Wallabies based on this style of highly personalised attacking rants against anyone or anything (the quality of the hotels the Wallabies were offered, for instance).

    In turn, this Jones method created an atmosphere of fear and loathing for himself and his team.

    Greg Growden, who was reporting on the tour for the Sydney Morning Herald, was hit by the persistence of the anti-Australia jokes on New Zealand radio talkback programs. It was as if the Wallabies coach had somehow poisoned the Australian-New Zealand rugby communities.
    A certain loathing was directed even at Growden because he was in some way connected with the Wallabies, and, anyway, because he was an Australian.

    On one occasion in a small New Zealand town, he approached a female bank teller.

    “You an Australian?”

    Growden replied: “That’s right.”

    “I’m not serving you,” she replied. “I’m going to take my lunch now.”

    The first Test at Athletic Park in Wellington was won by the Wallabies 13-12.

    The second Test at Carisbrook Park, Dunedin, was lost controversially after a wrong decision by the Welsh referee, Derek Bevan, 13-12 by the Wallabies.

    The third Test at Eden Park was game on for the series. The furore of speculation and angst in the New Zealand and Australian media was spectacular. Strangely, the main cause of the furore, Alan Jones, was the calmest person in New Zealand.

    Greg Growden interviewed the Wallabies coach on the eve of the Test. He was reading David Stockman’s The Triumph of Politics and was confident of victory.

    “There is a measure of arrogance in the team now,” he told Growden.

    “There is a deep resentment and they felt denied after the second Test. It haunts them and this has to be purged. Still, they are relaxed about it. We have spoken so often.

    “There is nothing left to do but win.”

    The coaching instructions Alan Jones gave his Wallabies was to expect an opening onslaught and, when that was endured, to establish field position and strike with their faster outside backs from inside the New Zealand 22.

  12. Squirrel

    Something like this –

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVex0zN8ym4

    with Ugg boots instead of thongs in the cooler months

    One of the saddest things I’ve ever seen in sport was the NZ men’s swimming team at one of the Olympics (London?) doing a sad, lame haka – hearts obviously not in it.

  13. Old School Conservative

    Other iconic moments in “standing up to the haka”:

    1. Millennium Stadium, November 2008. Wales refuses to move after ABs had finished their war dance. Stood like statues and stared down the ABs. Wales “won” the haka that day.
    2. Willie Anderson’s Irish linked arms and advanced into the haka in 1989. Now banned of course.
    3. 2011 World Cup final – France formed an attacking V.
    4. More recently, the England team at the 2019 RWC formed a large semi circle effectively surrounding the NZ players. Won the game too.

    The ABs are taking the mickey out of other nations. The original 15 player haka has been thrown out in favour of all 23 game-day players forming up in aggressive attacking formation. World Rugby are pussies for not allowing a challenge to the haka. Fans would love it.
    Alan Jones is right.

  14. Old School Conservative

    It’s not as though it’s football.

    No vlad, it’s the game they play in heaven.

  15. Clam Chowdah

    No vlad, it’s the game they play in heaven.

    Righto.

  16. Woolfe

    Crowd should roar advance Australia fair

  17. Petros

    Maybe the crowd should do the macarena during the haka.

  18. Lazlo

    I think it was the 1991 World Cup the ABs, playing Western Samoa, started their Hakka and the Samoans gave it right back to them with their own pacific challenge. The Kiwis complained that they had been “disrespected”.

  19. Fiji, Tonga and Samoa all have their own war dances. The NZ haka used to be cringe inducing but with most ABs now Maori or Pacific Islanders it is rehearsed and can be intimidating. But it is wasted on Oz – too many smart arse players and spectators in this country

  20. TBH

    The coaching instructions Alan Jones gave his Wallabies was to expect an opening onslaught and, when that was endured, to establish field position and strike with their faster outside backs from inside the New Zealand 22.

    One of the great Wallaby victories that day at Eden Park. I’ll never forget three things:
    – That initial All Black onslaught, it was one of the best displays of fifteen man footy I’d seen up until that point
    – Topo Rodriguez smashing Hika Reid back in a tackle on his own goal line – it changed the course of the game
    – Campo scoring late in the game to seal the deal and then giving the thumbs up to the crowd

    In terms of the Haka, I actually like it and it’s one of the nice traditions of the game. I like the fact that the other Islander teams also have something similar and they face off with each other. My only objection is making the other team face it, they should be able to do as they please in response (or not).

  21. Xword

    My wife loves it and I love stirring her up by saying it’s a piece of hackneyed crap (actually don’t care either way). Does make me think however if I was a Pacific based Royal Marine a couple of hundred years ago I’d be thanking God for the guy who invented the musket.

  22. Ed Case

    All Blacks get a huge psych advantage by having their opponents forced to witness the Haka.
    Level playing field required, they can do their Haka in the change rooms, National Anthems and Rugby only on the pitch.
    What if Haiti was a Rugby nation?
    Would they be allowed to dress as feathered Trannies and slaughter a Chicken in front of the opposing team?

  23. Sam

    I seem to remember the Australian crowd singing Waltzing Matilda at the top of their voice before a match. World rugby banned it, not part of our culture I according to World rugby.

  24. Spurgeon Monkfish III

    It is a joke and shouldn’t be allowed. I remember an Australian second rower blowing kisses at the ell blecks during that stupid war dance. Absolutely hilarious.

    Campo’s form in that world cup semi final was sublime, in quite possibly the greatest ever Wallybees team. Superstars everywhere.

  25. Andre Lewis

    The haka only takes about 3 or 4 minutes so who cares, and the Oz team could do a few Adam Goodes style war dances and then vilify some poor kid in the stands to make their response..
    More importantly rugby teams regularly only actually play about 40 per cent of the game time. Way past time to shut up the refs and pull out all the niggling technical rules – particularly around scrums. Meanwhile make the sods run to line outs and don’t let penalty kickers take half and hour to do it.

  26. I’m in two minds about kneeling for the Haka.

    That is, I’m not sure if when forming a ‘musket line’ facing the ABs, some of the Wallabies should kneel in front of their comrades, thus forming two ranks of riflemen aiming at the ABs, or if they should stick to being just one rank of standing riflemen.

  27. TheSemiMentalBloke

    Come a tee come a tee
    Stick up your thumb.
    Come a tee come a tee
    up your mates bum.

  28. Fat Tony

    Salvatore, Social Distance Martyr
    #3638526, posted on October 31, 2020 at 11:13 am

    That is, I’m not sure if when forming a ‘musket line’ facing the ABs, some of the Wallabies should kneel in front of their comrades, thus forming two ranks of riflemen aiming at the ABs, or if they should stick to being just one rank of standing riflemen.

    Either will do – as long as they’re using real muskets

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