Premier claims victory over teenage mutant ninja virus

ATTEMPTING to spin yet another phony emergency into a brilliantly plotted epidemiological triumph, the increasingly loopy Annastacia Palaszczuk now believes Queenslanders are her children and freedom hers to bestow:

Can I thank people in the greater Brisbane region for responding in the way that they did. It has been absolutely truly remarkable. So, I can announce that the reward for their sacrifice is that we are able to end our lockdown after three days.”

 
This is what happens when the press decides it won’t hold a political leader accountable because it desperately wants to be part of a saleable panic. Sure, Joh Bjelke-Petersen used to “feed the chooks” but – being a spartan old Lutheran farmer – only with chicken feed. Palaszczuk serves journalists three-star Michelin fare and they seem to be sleeping it off most of the time.

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64 Responses to Premier claims victory over teenage mutant ninja virus

  1. H B Bear

    Don’t deny Pony Girl her moment in the sun. It might be her only achievement.

  2. Damon

    At least she had sense enough to ditch the ridiculous requirement to wear masks in cars.

  3. Roger

    Will Greater Brisbanites all get gold stars?

  4. Sean

    People are lapping up Lockdown Fan Fiction

  5. mh

    Ms Palaszczuk stressed “you’ll have to carry a face mask with you at all times”.

  6. Ƶĩppʯ (ȊꞪꞨV)

    If only I was in Brisbane I could get a participation award too!

  7. John Bayley

    Don’t deny Pony Girl her moment in the sun. It might be her only achievement.

    Not quite.

    She did win the recent election, after all.

    Tells you all you need to know about the sheeple and their collective IQ.

  8. wal1957

    My loathing for polticians is intensifying day by day. The media aren’t far behind either.

  9. Amused

    John Bayley
    #3719796, posted on January 11, 2021 at 11:36 am
    She did win the recent election, after all.
    Tells you all you need to know about the sheeple and their collective IQ.

    It’s disgraceful that we have been almost continuously governed by these idiots since 1989.

  10. twostix

    The mrs said the ‘press conference’ felt like sitting through the kids school assembly. Same energy, same attitude, same tone of voice from the teachers government.

    Also apparently QLD has zero men in power anymore.

  11. mh

    My loathing for polticians is intensifying day by day. The media aren’t far behind either.

    Dillo said it best

    Armadillo
    #3719241, posted on January 10, 2021 at 9:53 pm
    Politics and the media are interwoven. They suck off each other to survive.

  12. Eyrie

    She did win the recent election, after all.

    Tells you all you need to know about the sheeple and their collective IQ.

    Well, that all depends on the vote counting machines they bought from the CCP.

  13. Fair Shake

    So Qld COVID cured in 3 days, that’s pretty good. Not as good as SA 48 hours but the year is still young.

    Y’all Come back to Queensland real soon.

  14. Fred

    Journalists aspire to be Media Advisors to Ministers. That’s why they don’t ask the hard questions.

  15. Mark M

    Gotta love the new normal.

  16. duncanm

    Toxic maternalism.

    captures it nicely.

  17. Blair

    You must carry or wear a mask when you leave your place of residence.

  18. Roger

    Journalists aspire to be Media Advisors to Ministers. That’s why they don’t ask the hard questions.

    Palaszczuk and her ministers gave jobs to quite a few prominent QLD journalists last time around, including the ABC QLD’s chief political correspondent Chris O’Brien. On the Friday he was signing off news reports, on the Monday he announced via Twitter he was now going to do “something different”, it turned out that was working for Palasczuk.

  19. Dot

    You must carry or wear a mask when you leave your place of residence.

    Do we need to bow to a hat on a pole in the town square?

    Ananastasia Palaszczuk or Albrecht Gessler?

  20. pbw

    mh,
    Quoting dillo

    Politics and the media are interwoven. They suck off each other to survive.

    Today’s politics are driven by the media. Politicians won’t utter a word without checking over their shoulders to see how the meeja are taking it. The prospect of having to fight against the media mindset fills them with terror. So the prevailing attitudes of reporters, commentators, the management at twitter, facebook and google are the determinants of public policy. The current insurrection against the President of the United States is a lesson for them all.

  21. stackja

    MSM propagate ALP announcements as “holy writ”.

  22. Boxcar

    Dominion franchise in QLD????

  23. pbw

    twostix,
    Was the mrs there as an asker of questions, or did she have some other role? (This assumes that questions were allowed.)

  24. egg_

    Chook slays the couf!
    News at 11.

    h/t: Salty Cracker

  25. Roger , when the ABC ‘s reporter said he was going to do something ” different ” , he lied . He was continuing working for the Premier under a different banner .

  26. Bruce

    All a calculated insult to get “someone” to snap. Rapidly followed by carefully pre-planned, indiscriminate “attitude adjustment”. Provocation.

    If you have to ask why, you haven’t been paying attention for the last several decades.

    Even Doctor Falsi was pretty negative about masks, before he wasn’t. What is it about “Chief medial Officers”?

    Rebreathing your own crud from a soggy mask is bad enough in summer, but consider how much fun the microbial wildlife are having INSIDE your mandated face-nappy. Then consider that you will be inhaling these rapidly-multiplying little vermin with every breath.

    If you are desperate to “COMPLY”, might I recommend the serious masks with replaceable activated charcoal filters that are also laced with bug killer.

    Is driving to the shop to snap up the last remaining masks still “legal”? Assuming there are any shops left open and holding stock.

  27. Bronson

    Queenslanders make Victorians look good.

  28. egg_

    the ‘press conference’ felt like sitting through the kids school assembly.

    Precedent set by Gillard, “like condescending to 8-year-olds”.

  29. Rohan

    Roger
    #3719765, posted on January 11, 2021 at 11:17 am
    Will Greater Brisbanites all get gold stars?

    No, but I reckon they all deserve an elephant stamp.

  30. The Beer whisperer

    I never thought it was even possible for me to be disappointed with Queenslanders, considering my exceedingly low opinion of them to start with.

    Yet, here we are.

  31. feelthebern

    A 3 day lockdown for something we’ve been told non-stop for 11 months has a 14 day incubation period.
    How does that work?

  32. egg_

    A 3 day lockdown for something we’ve been told non-stop for 11 months has a 14 day incubation period.
    How does that work?

    Like Pelosi flying a COVID-positive Senator from WI to vote for her as Speaker?!
    Couf! Couf!

  33. egg_

    Toxic maternalism.

    The Left.
    Note how they’re led by males the likes of Tits and Biden?

  34. notafan

    Because despite having the even more contagious UK model, not one of the carrier’s 90 plus contacts got the bug.

    They already knew that but still proceeded to a three day extravaganza of lockdown theatre

    Mummy and Nannanna want to be sure that the children are taking it all very veey seriously.

  35. feelthebern

    Because despite having the even more contagious UK model, not one of the carrier’s 90 plus contacts got the bug.

    But the media tells me it’s super dooper contagious.
    Is that not the case?

    Or is it still incubating within said 90 plus contacts?
    Better have another lock down just to be sure.

  36. H B Bear

    Nanny Russia replaces Mother Russia RIP.

  37. alans

    like the cartoon of Palachook; looks like something straight out of a loony tunes cartoon.

  38. mh

    feelthebern
    #3719933, posted on January 11, 2021 at 1:16 pm
    A 3 day lockdown for something we’ve been told non-stop for 11 months has a 14 day incubation period.
    How does that work?

    feelthebern
    #3719961, posted on January 11, 2021 at 1:32 pm
    Because despite having the even more contagious UK model, not one of the carrier’s 90 plus contacts got the bug.

    But the media tells me it’s super dooper contagious.
    Is that not the case?

    Or is it still incubating within said 90 plus contacts?
    Better have another lock down just to be sure.

    I believe this is all bullshit, and the endgame was mask wearing.

    The people of Brisbane in 2020 did wear masks when they thought it might be worthwhile.
    People would wear them, once it was obvious there was no community transmission they would come off.
    But even that is not good enough for our new overlords. It’s not up to us, it’s up to them.

  39. Yosefu

    Women’s suffrage was a big mistake.

    There is something even worse about childless women in leadership positions. They start treating their own constituents like children. Watching Pallachooks droopy jowls wobble her insincere BS like we’re in primary school is deeply unsettling. Can’t she just send the police around to beat us already?

    Armadillo
    #3719241, posted on January 10, 2021 at 9:53 pm
    Politics and the media are interwoven. They suck off each other to survive.

    Literally. Pallachook was married to George Megalogenis.

  40. John A

    Next: Premier defeats the common cold. Sound bite from the press conference: “There is nothing common in Qld – any more.”
    /sarc (just in case)

  41. H B Bear

    I would need to be convinced that being voted in by Queenslanders is an achievement. Exhibit A Bob Katter.

  42. H B Bear

    Literally. Pallachook was married to George Megalogenis.

    Hard to say whose reputation suffers the most damage here.

  43. mh

    Politics and the media are interwoven. They suck off each other to survive.

    Literally. Pallachook was married to George Megalogenis.

    The marriage didn’t survive.

    Not enough sucking off for George’s liking.

  44. feelthebern

    Yeah, nah better lock down.
    It’s the only way to be sure.

  45. Dave of Reedy Creek, Qld

    Question: Has the super contagious mutant virus actually been diagnosed by a doctor, a medical team or a newspaper editor? Just asking…

  46. Pogria

    Stalin once ripped all the feathers off a live chicken as a lesson to his followers. He then set the chicken on the floor a short distance away.
    The chicken was bloodied and suffering immensely, yet, when Stalin tossed some wheat toward the chicken it followed him around.
    He said to his followers “This is how easy it is to govern stupid people, they will follow you no matter how much pain you cause them, as long as you throw them a little worthless treat once in a while”.

  47. Craig Sargent

    I saw the news.com article which reported the 3 day lockdown was a success… Absolutely ridiculous to claim that a 3 day lockdown can do anything other than damage businesses and peoples health. We need a class action lawsuit against the government for locking down people against WHO guidelines

  48. Speedbox

    Craig Sargent
    #3720137, posted on January 11, 2021 at 3:23 pm

    Tens of millions of commerce dollars wiped from the Queensland economy in just three days. Travel plans of thousands thrown into disarray with less than 12 hours notice on Friday. Wages for tens of thousands of casual workers stripped with no possibility of compensation/recovery.

    Of course the lockdown was a success!

    /sarc

  49. Dot

    Pogria
    #3720042, posted on January 11, 2021 at 2:53 pm
    Stalin once ripped all the feathers off a live chicken as a lesson to his followers. He then set the chicken on the floor a short distance away.
    The chicken was bloodied and suffering immensely, yet, when Stalin tossed some wheat toward the chicken it followed him around.
    He said to his followers “This is how easy it is to govern stupid people, they will follow you no matter how much pain you cause them, as long as you throw them a little worthless treat once in a while”.

    “BUT SO WHAT IF COVID IS ONLY THE MAIN CAUSE OF DEATH IN 6% OF REPORTED COVID DEATHS, DONALD TRUMP IS A BULLY, A FASCIST AND A VERY BAD MAN, NOW I GET TO WATCH NETFLIX ALL DAY UNTIL THE MONEY RUNS OUT…”

  50. duncanm

    btw – as for masks – I stumbled across a convenient get-out clause when doing my lunchtime food gathering.

    Munch on an apple, or sip from your favourite beverage as you walk about.

  51. Don

    Qld’s chief health officer is on record stating last year that it is not proven masks are of any benefit. I question, given the sophisticated apparatus that stone workers exposed to silica dust must wear, how flimsy paper or cloth masks will prevent air borne transmission of smaller exhaled aerosols. I have not seen governments present any evidence supporting the use of masks. I believe the purpose of the mask edict is solely to make it inconvenient and uncomfortable to leave one’s house.

  52. Don

    Rather than “believe”, “strongly suspect”

  53. Pogria

    “BUT SO WHAT IF COVID IS ONLY THE MAIN CAUSE OF DEATH IN 6% OF REPORTED COVID DEATHS, DONALD TRUMP IS A BULLY, A FASCIST AND A VERY BAD MAN, NOW I GET TO WATCH NETFLIX ALL DAY UNTIL THE MONEY RUNS OUT…”

    Ow! my ears hurt.

    Who said anything about Trump?

  54. Rex Anger

    Mask purchases being ‘encouraged’ by Comrade Sneakers in Sandgroperstan at present. Two days so far and counting…

    #FuckyouWAYou’reNext!

  55. PB

    “reward”.

    yes, our reward. The government grants us a reward.

    Thank you mother Anna. I will continue to behave in a manner that doesn’t bring you disappointment and shame.

  56. mh

    If COVID really was a national emergency, the Feds would instruct all online Australian newspapers to NOT have Covid-related stories behind a paywall.

  57. Crossie

    John Bayley
    #3719796, posted on January 11, 2021 at 11:36 am
    Don’t deny Pony Girl her moment in the sun. It might be her only achievement.

    Not quite.

    She did win the recent election, after all.

    Tells you all you need to know about the sheeple and their collective IQ.

    I wouldn’t be too sure of that, Queensland used Dominion election machines in their election. And I don’t have any respect for any polls be they pre-election or exit polls, they’re not even statistics just outright lies.

  58. Crossie

    wal1957
    #3719802, posted on January 11, 2021 at 11:38 am
    My loathing for polticians is intensifying day by day. The media aren’t far behind either.

    For me it is the other way around. We have dishonest politicians because our media is even more dishonest.

  59. amortiser

    Journalists aspire to be Media Advisors to Ministers. That’s why they don’t ask the hard questions.

    This morning on Sunrise, in answer to a question about the effects of the lockdowns on tourism, the Qld premier said that the coffee shops and cafes on the Sunshine Coast were chockers when she was there on the weekend.

    I checked with the premier’s office about where the lockdown announcement was made and was advised that it was in Brisbane with the CHO.

    So after telling people in Brisbane to stay at home, the premier escaped the lockdown restrictions by going to the beach on the Sunshine Coast.

    No journalist asked the obvious question of why she was ignoring her own advice. Unless the virus is as not contagious until after 6pm on Friday the Qld premier was being hypocritical in the extreme.
    Journalists are not a bright lot or they are in the tank for the premier.

  60. Amortiser

    I eventually tracked down the video of the premier’s press conference and her reference to being on the Sunshine Coast was a couple of weeks ago. I have misrepresented her and I apologise.

  61. Old School Conservative

    I have misrepresented her and I apologise.

    You must be a right wing conservative truther.

  62. Old School Conservative

    reward for their sacrifice

    I have read a lot about motivational theories but Pony Girl is a past master at the practice of carrot and the stick.

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