The State vs. Pineapple

IT’s one of the most strange and outlandish elections in the history of Australian local government. Piquing the interest of national media, today’s Rockhampton mayoralty by-election is also as Queensland as Joh, XXXX, the Maroons and the summer pong of squished mangoes rotting in dunny lanes. A Doomben 10,000 field of 17 aspirants is vying for the robes and livery collar of office but the contender everybody is talking about doesn’t wear shoes. His name is Pineapple. The deserving Steven Bradbury of our age, Chris “Pineapple” Hooper is an eccentric retired train driver, environmentalist and street crank who accidentally became mayor of the no-nonsense “Beef Capital of Australia” last year. How? Well, the long-time Labor-cum-Independent incumbent Margaret Strelow resigned in November 2020 after an official finding of misconduct relating to undeclared goodies she received from mining giant Adani during a trip to India in 2017.

And?

Annastacia Palaszczuk strongly resented Strelow contesting the seat of Rockhampton in the state election of November 2017. The local palace chook took a sizable peck out of Labor’s vote on the day while losing. The Premier was leaving nothing to chance for the upcoming state poll in October 2020. The law was amended in June 2020 to prevent serving mayors from pulling a Margaret ever again. If they abandoned their humbler chairs for George Street leather they’d be replaced by their most popular opponent. In March last year, that man was Pineapple who won 31.5 percent of votes to Strelow’s 68.4 in a two-horse race. Ergo: the Electoral Commission of Queensland named Pineapple the rightful Mayor of Rockhampton when his vastly more experienced (and vastly more vain) vanquisher vamoosed. Oops. No problem for the arrogant, newly re-elected Palaszczuk brains trust, though. The amended law was amended to get rid of Pineapple and ensure none like him ever ripen again. I’m not sure how to categorise this debacle but it isn’t the rule of law. Not exactly a bill of attainder but when the state enacts a retrospective law targeting one man, that is dangerous.

These, however, are the times we live in. Virus-high governments think they can do whatever they want.

Given the unlikelihood of any candidate winning a plurality today, name recognition, preference flows and the guiltless pleasure of thumbing a nose at the Premier may coalesce to Pineapple’s advantage. The woman whose ambition and carelessness started it all realises 70 percent of voters usually tick only one box. Margaret Strelow is therefore pleading with them to do their due diligence for the sake of democracy – something neither she nor Annastacia Palaszczuk bothered with themselves.

Video: Meet Pineapple – the most feared Queensland political oddball since Albert Field.

This entry was posted in Rule of law, State Politics. Bookmark the permalink.

31 Responses to The State vs. Pineapple

  1. Roger says:

    Any chance of a regular column on political shenanigans in the land of fruits and nuts, CL?

    There’s no shortage of material.

  2. Baa Humbug says:

    The bloke’s a hoarder. That’s a good quality in a mayor.
    I’d vote for him before any of the other corrupt azzhole.

  3. Bruce of Newcastle says:

    Having the state insert itself into your affairs is worse than having a pineapple inserted.
    At least you can choose which end of the pineapple goes in first.

  4. nb says:

    ‘At least you can choose which end of the pineapple goes in first.’
    Not if the state is doing it.

  5. Macspee says:

    Don’t forget it’s a one chamber parliament so no chance of nasty questions.

  6. incoherent rambler says:

    ‘At least you can choose which end of the pineapple goes in first.’

    Which end comes out first is a bigger issue.

  7. Dot says:

    The Government, however, intervened and changed the laws retrospectively, sparking this weekend’s by-election.

    What a pack of arseholes.

    At least mediaeval lords would literally beat the shit out of you, not cower in a poncy leather chamber whilst some high school drop out would come at you with a modern firearm and poorly reciting some act they barely remember.

    He won by default, but he wasn’t an accidental winner.

    He won, under their rules.

    Let’s hope he wins again.

  8. Rusty of Qld says:

    Politicians, nothing but a pack of stinking, lying, filthy, untrustworthy, self seeking aholes that want to show us little people how virtuous and brilliant they are and we should be down our knees thanking our lucky stars they have deigned to come down from their lofty heights above us to tell us how to live.
    It’s also very interesting to see the change in attitude and demeanour of pony girl now she has won her third term, making her the most successful female state leader in history, she doesn’t give a rats arse.
    A pox on their houses, including the investment, beach and rental ones.

  9. Ed Case says:

    Labor fielded a new candidate in 2017 when Bill Byrne retired.
    My reading of the Strehlow nomination was to shore up preferences for the Labor candidate, which is what happened, though perhaps that wasn’t the intention.
    Some might remember longtime Mayor Rex Pilbeam [1952 Council Elections- c.8 June 1953, where he ran into a spot of bother [see Canberra Times 8/6/1953] & 1954-1982]. The guy had a head like a pineapple. I’ll see if I can rustle up a picture.

  10. Eyrie says:

    My default opinion of any politician is “criminal psychopath” until proven otherwise.

  11. thefrollickingmole says:

    The bloke is a loon.
    How was he not qualified for Parliament?

  12. Ed Case says:

    Nah, Pineapple is just an idiot, 40 year driving trains all hours will do that.
    He’s not out of place tho:
    Perennial unsuccessful Council candidate lived on Lakes Creek Rd when it was only a thin strip of bitumen, and a puddle 10 yards diameter on the edge of the road in front of his house filled up after heavy rain.
    He erects a sign in the middle No Duck Shooting in My Duck Pond

  13. Colonel Crispin Berka says:

    Any chance of a regular column on political shenanigans in the land of fruits and nuts, CL?

    The Banana Bureaucracy Bulletin.

  14. Jo says:

    Roger that is the ACT where they are governed by fruit and nuts and lurve it.

  15. Bruce of Newcastle says:

    In the US you can elect dogs and cats to august offices.
    I suspect if one stood for mayor it’d win.

  16. Snoopy says:

    I would vote for Pineapple.

  17. jupes says:

    Not exactly a bill of attainder but when the state enacts a retrospective law targeting one man, that is dangerous.

    There’s a lot of it about. WA made a law against another eccentric Queenslander – Big Clive – stopping him from suing them after they ripped him off.

    Go Pineapple! The more non-standard politicians the better.

  18. C.L. says:

    Nah, Pineapple is just an idiot…

    What do you mean “nah”, he’s an idiot, Ed?
    Nah what?

    Nah, the rule of law doesn’t matter because you think somebody is an idiot?

    Maybe if somebody decides you’re an idiot, the parliament can pass a law about you.

  19. thefrollickingmole says:

    In the US you can elect dogs and cats to august offices.
    I suspect if one stood for mayor it’d win.

    As usual Dredd did it first.

    https://i.pinimg.com/originals/8c/14/89/8c1489004fbd1dfd5d92c4c50bd02f39.jpg

  20. H B Bear says:

    Remember this anytime somebody suggests devolving powers to local government. Emptying the bins is about the limits of their abilities – and sometimes not even that.

  21. H B Bear says:

    Vote 1 Caligula’s horse.

  22. H B Bear says:

    Do socks even have standing?

  23. Ed Case says:

    Nah, the rule of law doesn’t matter because you think somebody is an idiot?***

    I don’t think he’s an idiot, it’s blindingly obvious he’s an idiot. You’ve linked to the proof.
    Now, i’m not a lawyer, but i would think the Rule Of Law is intended to protect idiots from themselves and the malicious, but it’s not intended to promote them way beyond their abilities on the basis that 31% of voters don’t take the franchise seriously.

  24. roman says:

    These are the same people that told us to wear a mask… while driving… alone.

  25. Ubique says:

    Pineapple looks completely harmless compared with Labor luminaries and jailbirds Bill D’Arcy, Keith Wright and Millton Orkopoulos.

  26. Adam says:

    on the basis that 31% of voters don’t take the franchise seriously.

    What a pity that it’s only 31%.

    Muh parliaments!

  27. C.L. says:

    Any chance of a regular column on political shenanigans in the land of fruits and nuts, CL?

    There’s no shortage of material.

    Indeed, Roger.
    I would like to return home a tad after the US sojourn we’ve all been on for ages.

  28. Bronson says:

    Ed Ed Ed you’ve obviously never worked in local government let alone politics above and beyond that. Most local government representatives are certifiable in my experience. Their own lives are generally disasters and they bring this chaos to their representative life. Unfortunately many are elevated to state and federal level to the greater detriment of the community in general

  29. Rockdoctor says:

    Two more sfights coming. Les Walker now Mundingburra MPwho was a TCC councillor. Apparently 2nd place going to fight retrospective changes. Mayor Jenny Hill currently charged with driving charges over the death of a motorcyclist which from my sources has been handled as expected by ALP to their own. If convicted Jenny becomes inelligable to be in office and office becomes vacant. Fun & games…

  30. Crossie says:

    He won by default, but he wasn’t an accidental winner.

    He won, under their rules.

    Let’s hope he wins again.

    Trump didn’t even have that advantage, he won under their laws which they changed in the middle of an election and when that wasn’t enough they simply stopped counting until they had enough fraudulent ballots. And just as in Trump’s case, this guy must be hounded out of existence when he is in the way.

    Mainstream politicians have all had some sort of conversion or adjustment/reset where nothing else matters but their drive to power. I could almost understand them but the media’s connivance with them has me stumped. I just don’t see what they get out of it.

  31. Dot says:

    H B Bear
    #3734438, posted on January 23, 2021 at 2:00 pm
    Remember this anytime somebody suggests devolving powers to local government. Emptying the bins is about the limits of their abilities – and sometimes not even that.

    I trust Pineapple over Palace Chook and commie Trad.

Comments are closed.