Ayres Rock was the original name for Uluru

YEAH. I KNOW AUSTRALIANS:  Hilarious lies Aussies tell foreigners. 6

What I tell them back home is that the biggest mistake Canada made – other than electing Trudeau father and son – was not becoming a test playing nation in cricket. It’s not a lie, but I have yet to say it to anyone who sees the point or comes even remotely close to believing it. This is the one I liked best and there are others at the link.

Uluru is an optical illusion"I convinced my ex-girlfriend from Scotland that Uluru was just a tiny rock that we took pictures of up close." - Posted by Jonatron92

Uluru is an optical illusion

“I convinced my ex-girlfriend from Scotland that Uluru was just a tiny rock that we took pictures of up close.”

Of course, you more or less have to be an Australian even to know that Uluru exists. The post is taken in its entirety from Instapundit.

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23 Responses to Ayres Rock was the original name for Uluru

  1. mundi says:

    For those who don’t know:

    Mount Warning climb in northern NSW is being closed permanently because of claims by aboriginal group that it was a sacred ‘coming of age’ peak where they walked in the clouds.

    The walk was built in 1909 by volunteers. It was closed under the guise of safety during COVID in 2020, but FOI revealed that NSW actually just wanted to close it without public backlash and without a “last climb” rush like ayres rock.

    As for ayres rock…

    The entire area including the resort and caravan park are funded by the government, albeit indirectly via a “infrastructure” investment body. So the report got a loan with zero interest that they make no repayments on and won’t have to pay back unless they make profit. I.e. It will never be paid back. Tourist numbers were in free fall after the climb was closed, but covid will be used as an excuse to throw even more money in.

  2. Chris says:

    Just after Gulf War 1, I was working in Iran. My host took me into a surveyors’ supply shop so we could price up some Brunton compasses, and they said to me with big smiles ‘What’s that?’

    A poster for Leica survey equipment, with a 2′ x 2′ vertical aerial photo image of Ayers’ Rock.
    In Mashhad, not so far from Afghanistan.

    Later as we travelled the desert to our project area, my hosts put on the BBC radio news on their car radio, specially for me.
    “Today ten women were ordained in a world first, in a special service of the Anglican Church in Perth, Western Australia.”
    I was able to say I knew two or three of them.

  3. Tintarella di Luna says:

    What about the career as a banana-bender — when I came to Sydney I used to tell people that’s what I did for pocket money, some fell for it.

  4. Bruce of Newcastle says:

    What I tell them back home is that the biggest mistake Canada made – other than electing Trudeau father and son – was not becoming a test playing nation in cricket.

    Quite true. A cousin of mine who was quite senior in Jamaica told me once that their biggest mistake was to accept the offer from US broadcasters over the BBC offer. Of course there was a bit of muscular lobbying from US government types at the time, and they gave in and took the feed from the US not Britain.

    The result was in a generation the kids were submerged in US rap culture and basketball, and lost their cricketing tradition. Jamaica is now one of the most violent places in the Caribbean. And a lot of it because of one cultural mistake.

  5. John says:

    What about the career as a banana-bender — when I came to Sydney I used to tell people that’s what I did for pocket money, some fell for it.

    Did you bend bananas in Bendamere?

  6. Texas Jack says:

    Beats the sheet out of another froth-inducing post about political smears dressed-up as historic sexual-assault allegations!

  7. johanna says:

    When I was growing up it was ‘Ayer’s Rock.’

    If you are going to post about nomenclature, might be an idea to get the spelling right. It’s not a big word, after all. 🙂

  8. egg_ says:

    Did you bend bananas in Bendamere?

    Met a fellow motorcyclist who said he’d came a cropper on y’ole infamous sharp bend before the old bridge (which still stands) across the river, prior to construction of the present day bypass.

  9. Professor Fred Lenin says:

    The next Queensland Olympics is to be monitored by O.H &S
    I picture this scenario.
    Put that naked flame out !
    You are not g0oing to throw those javelind are you ?
    What are those disk things there ?
    Where are the safety rails and ramps on those hurdles .
    You cant carry lumps of wood in relay races !
    Surely you are not going to use that vaulting pole without safety harness ?
    You are not allowed to have winners you might upset the other contestants !
    You cant fly those flags in the parade itsextreme right wing populism .

  10. Nob says:

    I used to tell foreigners Australia wasn’t a nanny state.

    I got found out.

  11. Pogria says:

    When I Jillarooed in the 70’s, I used to tell the townies how we’d extract Goanna oil. I was able to reassure them that we did not have to kill them to obtain the oil.
    I explained that we would trap a hundred or so goannas, alive, hang them gently in an old smoking shed and build a small fire to warm the shed.
    As the goannas warmed, I explained that we would set a bucket beneath each one, and gently massage down the length of their bodies whereupon the oil would start to flow from an opening at the base of their tail. When we had finished “milking”, them all, we would give them a rat each for their trouble and set them on their way until next time.

  12. Motelier says:

    My son attended Northwestern University in Evanston Il for two years to complete his Masters in Performance.

    For those two years he lived on the Drop Bear stories that he spread throughout the campus. The only one not caught was the Dean of Music who just happened to be an Australian.

  13. Neil says:

    Canada and the USA played the first international cricket match


    The Canadian cricket team in the United States in 1844 was both the first official international cricket match and the first official international game of any sport.

  14. Captain Katzenjammer says:

    The latest plan for Sydney Harbour is to build a dam across the heads, drain the water, for housing development in the newly created valley. Roads will be able to criss-cross without the cost of bridges. The project will be funded by sale of the housing properties. We’re fortunate to have a forward looking visionary progressive harbour authority.

  15. Forester says:

    Can’t recall where I heard it, a bloke told some girls at a bar that he worked for the Department of Agriculture, putting all the little stickers on the fruit.

  16. Major Elvis Newton says:

    I find that foreigners are fascinated about that elusive Aussie marsupial: the DropBear.

    Being a distant cousin to the more common bunyip, much mirth and hospitality has been shared over explaining the habitat, breeding patterns and behaviour profile of this beloved native animal to enraptured audiences.

    Even down to the type of backpack brands and colours they prefer when targeting unsuspecting bushwalkers.

  17. areff says:

    First brought my now-ex, an American, to Oz in 1985. At a friend’s house she asked to use the lavatory and where she might find it. My friend told her that the ‘toilet spade’ was just outside the back door and she should select a spot other than near the roses, as they had been fertilised earlier that day. ‘Australian soil is old and tried and that’s how we keep it productive,’ she was told. Somewhat taken aback, she nevertheless headed out the back, grabbed the spade and was in the process of turning the sod near the compost heap when the lot of us trouped out to the back porch and informed her of the gag.

    It took her years before she could see the humour

  18. Rafe Champion says:

    Well done Neil, Canada was also the destination of the first international touring party from England, a commercial venture launched in 1859. That was two years before the first English tour to Australia.

    The Montreal Cricket Club sponsored the tour, helped by the proprietors of the St. Lawrence Hotel in Montreal. The players were guaranteed 50 pounds plus expenses. Twelve professionals sailed from Liverpool in September, rather late in the year as it turned out by the time they reached the end of their itinerary. George Parr from Nottinghamshire, ‘The Lion of the North’ was captain but at sea he was anything but a lion. He frequently had recourse to gin and water to settle his nerves during heavy weather.

    Among the other players were John Wisden the leading allrounder, H.H. Stephenson who captained the first tourists in Australia, and William Caffyn, ‘The Surrey Pet’ who toured Australia with Stephenson and settled in this country. They played five games, all against teams of twenty two players. This allowed the bowlers to return some spectacular figures. George Parr captured 16 wickets for 25 runs in one innings and in another Caffyn took 16 for 26. Despite their disadvantage in numbers the tourists won all their matches, some by an innings. The local players were competent and keen in bowling and fielding but they could not cope with the English bowlers. The slow lobs delivered by Parr and Caffyn were particularly effective and in a game against XXII of U.S.A. the fast bowler Wisden took six wickets in six balls.

    The first game was a two day affair against Lower Canada in Montreal. The tourists won by eight wickets and after a splendid banquet at the St. Lawrence Hotel they proceeded to Hoboken, New York. The local populace greeted them with extraordinary enthusiasm. A great crowd waited at the station, the streets were packed and a band at the hotel played ‘Rule Britannia’. The day before the game started over 2,000 people visited the ground, just to see what it looked like, and over 25,000 saw the game. In Philadelphia equally large crowds turned out, including a thousand ladies, dressed in the height of fashion, who occupied a special stand reserved for the fairer sex. Winter was setting in by this time and the wet ground required several wagon loads of sawdust to allow the play to proceed.

    The first English cricket tour of Australia in 1861 came about because the novelist Charles Dickens was not inclined to travel. The Melbourne caterers, Spiers and Pond, invited the great man to tour Australia for mutual profit. He declined the offer, and their second choice was a cricket team. Only twelve players came, with seven from Surrey including the captain H.H. Stephenson and William Caffyn, two of the North American tourists of 1859. A crowd of 10,000 waited at the docks when their ship berthed in Melbourne on Christmas eve, and the sustained Interest and hospitality of the locals forced the tourists to travel some miles out of town to practice in peace.

    Strangely the first team to go the other way was a squad of Aborigines who did quite well, all considered.

  19. Terry Andrews says:

    Read somewhere some bloke would tell tourists that Australian taxi drivers were the best in the world. when stopped at lights just slip your shoes off and hand them over and they’ll give them a quick polish.

  20. Gluteus Maximus Octavius says:

    When I worked in the US a number of years ago I showed a group of colleagues a film of wildlife snippets from Australia. One was of pelicans diving almost vertically into shallow water near mudflats. So on the spot I invented the ‘Australian mud pelican’…the females dive into the mud where they die with eggs inside them. The dry season comes, the mudflats harden with the pelicans preserved within. The chicks hatch and feed on the flesh of their mothers until the rains come, at which point they emerge from the mud and fly away. Most of them believed it. A day or so later I came clean but it was a great running gag for months.

  21. old bloke says:

    The first English cricket tour of Australia in 1861 came about because the novelist Charles Dickens was not inclined to travel.

    Charles Dickens didn’t mind travelling, he made two tours of the USA but never visited Australia. Nevertheless, he was a great advocate for Australia and encouraged his children to move here. Two of Dickens’s sons did migrate to Australia.

  22. Nicholas (Unlicensed Joker) Gray says:

    Here is a new myth to spread around- ever wondered why we call them duck-billed platypuses? To distinguish them from the croc-billed platypuses, the rarer and deadlier of the species! We don’t talk about them in case it scares away the edible tourists…

  23. Andre Lewis says:

    When first in Oz as a young man many years ago a couple of work mates took me to Barrington Tops to hunt pigs and walking through the bush told me to be careful and gave me graphic descriptions of drop bears. I believed them too.

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