Crouching Tiger, Verdant Paddock

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128 Responses to Crouching Tiger, Verdant Paddock

  1. mh says:

    Sinc, please ban Currency Lad.

  2. Rosie says:

    I think someone just culturally appropriated yoga.

    She ticks about every woke box tho’

  3. billie says:

    oh my

    a trigger warning would have been appreciated

  4. HD says:

    What to think? Jess hasn’t been teaching for very long (?) or yoga has done wonders for her health versus before her current career?

  5. Tom says:

    Hahaha. Didn’t need a word, CL, just the picture. Laughed out loud. Thanks!

  6. MatrixTransform says:

    that thing looks like it ATE all the yoga

  7. RacerX says:

    Do CL’s post go through moderation? They clearly need to, there is no need for that visual, and it’s just prior to lunch.

    Clearly like everything else the left has re-defined white supremacy no longer means what it used to.

  8. FlyingPigs says:

    you b……

  9. Primer says:

    The Actuaries know the clock is ticking for Gemima.

  10. Bear Necessities says:

    Naughty corner for that!

  11. Zulu Kilo Two Alpha says:

    Her orthopedic surgeon will retire very rich…

  12. min says:

    Is origin of yoga Indian?

  13. cuckoo says:

    When she sits around the house, she sits around the house.

  14. Shaun says:

    Aah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha …. (deep inhale) … ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha .

    Yeah right. Tell her that Yoga began in India and she is a cultural appropriator.

  15. dover_beach says:

    C.L. for the win.

  16. min says:

    Caste system in India is very racist

  17. Infidel Tiger says:

    Downward dog, 21 piece bucket…

    If she can touch her toes I’ll go hee.

  18. Mark A says:

    mh says:
    June 11, 2021 at 11:29 am

    Sinc, please ban Currency Lad.

    That, or moderate!!

  19. Hugh says:

    So unfair.

    She was just beginning to turn her life around.

  20. Jannie says:

    The Laws of Gravity are very, very strict.

  21. mh says:

    That stool was once a living thing.

  22. Real Deal says:

    For her sake I hope that Cardio-vascular surgery is not seen as a bastion of white privilege.

    BTW Sinc, I agree with mh. Please ban CL; this is an atrocity.

  23. mh says:

    Sir Mix-A-Lot would pass on that one

  24. Dot says:

    🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

    YOU’RE NOT BEAUTIFUL, YOU’RE DYING!

  25. Old School Conservative says:

    “Sucked in” photos and videos belong on the Open Forum, C.L.

  26. Cassie of Sydney says:

    “min says:
    June 11, 2021 at 12:01 pm
    Caste system in India is very racist”

    Correct…and yoga traditionally was only ever practised by Brahmin men. Brahmins, of course, are the highest caste…and most Brahmins…particularly in Northern India, are very pale skinned because they’re descended from Indo-Aryan tribes who invaded northern India three thousand years ago, those Indo-Aryans also brought the Hindu religion with them and yoga is an arm of Hinduism. The dark skinned Dravidian people were pushed south. The caste system was set up and generally, that caste systems has strong racial elements.

    If Ms Stanley has a problem with “white supremacy”…then she’d better stop practising yoga.

    Oh and I’m pretty sure that most Brahmins would be very unimpressed with Ms Stanley…and from looking at the picture above…..it would be in many ways.

  27. mh says:

    Deuce Bigalow says no.

  28. Professor Fred Lenin says:

    So obviously yoga is not a way of slimming ?
    Yoga classes at Maccas ? do you wat fries with that?

  29. Bela Bartok says:

    There’s just not enough flour…

  30. Forester says:

    We’re being forced to look at things that we’ve never wanted to look at. And that’s all that yoga is, is looking at the things that you don’t want to look at. And ultimately, come hell or high water, accepting them.”

    Especially that really hard practice where you bend over a really long way.

  31. Cassie of Sydney says:

    Over the decades I have done a lot of yoga and pilates. Looking at the above picture (a hard thing to do), one thing is very clear to me……….Ms Stanley does not practice yoga….she might practice youga or yonga or yanga….but she does not practice and teach yoga.

  32. Carpe Jugulum says:

    Are there places she can’t reach with a washcloth?

  33. Zulu Kilo Two Alpha says:

    I hope that stool is the heavy duty version…

  34. hans tholstrup says:

    The poor girl… I cannot even imagine being that fat.

  35. Dot says:

    McDonald’s was a plot by the Exalted Knights of the Ku Klux Klan.

  36. Terry says:

    Cassie of Sydney says:
    June 11, 2021 at 12:14 pm
    ‘yoga traditionally was only ever practised by Brahmin men’

    More Brahman than Brahmin…

  37. Richard says:

    This website keeps freezing.

  38. Mick Gold Coast QLD says:

    mh says at 11:29 am:

    “Sinc, please ban Currency Lad.”

    Please do. He is scaring me!

  39. W Hogg says:

    Thank you for not posting the nude pics.

  40. Dinky says:

    So obviously yoga is not a way of slimming ?

    Yes it is. You should have seen her “before” photo.

  41. Cassie of Sydney says:

    “So obviously yoga is not a way of slimming ?”

    Anyone who practices regular yoga is slim, fit and taut.

    Methinks Ms Stanley practices youga or yonga or yanga…she does not practice yoga.

  42. Cassie of Sydney says:

    Besides….she’s culturally appropriating something that doesn’t belong to her.

  43. Zulu Kilo Two Alpha says:

    Thank you for not posting the nude pics.

    Shudder!

  44. Leo G says:

    It’s said Yoga provides us with an opportunity to step back and take a look at ourselves.

  45. Snotball says:

    Give me a bag of flour, a pair of welders glovers and a set of oyster pliers and I’ll consider going it!

  46. Mother Lode says:

    Where can I get a stool like that!

    You could use just two to work under the car!

  47. Delta A says:

    You go girrrl! … to a dietician.

  48. Mother Lode says:

    It’s said Yoga provides us with an opportunity to step back and take a look at ourselves.

    She would have to step a looooong way back before she will be able to see all of herself in the mirror.

  49. Chris M says:

    Is she Hindu? Otherwise appropriation by her own rules.

    Yoga is a religious practice, it is prostrating and giving obeisance the the many Hindu ‘gods’, which includes a sexual body offering aspect also.

  50. Bruce of Newcastle says:

    Biden should make her his Health Czar. She’d be perfect.

  51. Mustapha Bunn says:

    As a kid on visit to the circus I saw elephants doing tricks like lifting a couple of legs in the air.I honestly don’t believe that this elephant could do that and certainly not yoga.

  52. TBH says:

    Is this an article from The Onion or Babylon Bee?

  53. Chris M says:

    I hope that stool is the heavy duty version…

    In this case Yoga can soften stools.

  54. Mother Lode says:

    Is that article by Stephanie Ima Heifer?

  55. calli says:

    I thought little Swami Sarasvati retired. Haven’t seen her for years.

    Now we know the truth.

    She was eaten!

  56. Leigh Lowe says:

    Carpe Jugulum says:

    June 11, 2021 at 12:23 pm

    Are there places she can’t reach with a washcloth?

    Carwash.

  57. Cassie of Sydney says:

    Chris M says:
    June 11, 2021 at 12:55 pm
    Is she Hindu? Otherwise appropriation by her own rules.

    Yoga is a religious practice, it is prostrating and giving obeisance the the many Hindu ‘gods’, which includes a sexual body offering aspect also.”

    Correct….although not sure about the “sexual” body offering. One of the reasons I stopped was that I was rather uncomfortable with its religious side.

  58. Iain Russell says:

    Indians hate BIPOCs.

  59. Rex Anger says:

    Give me a bag of flour, a pair of welders glovers and a set of oyster pliers and I’ll consider going it!

    A Valediction…

  60. calli says:

    Yes, Cassie. That put me off too. The Anglican Diocese of Sydney stopped letting yogis use their halls for that reason. To much derision and squealing.

  61. Mak Siccar says:

    Bluddy hell! There should have been a trigger warning in the heading of the post.

  62. miltonf says:

    They’re really trying to notch up the race war. I thought it was only the get rid of Trump but the marxists and the meja marxists want much more.

  63. Up The Workers! says:

    Wow!

    She’d make a good host of the Leftard ratings-bomb, “The Weakest Link”.

    Every bit as sexy (to a Labor voter) as the existing host but without the racist white-skin overtones.

    I can just imaging Bull Shitten and Dodgy Dan getting all hot and priapic at the thought!

    Either she is a refugee from a Jenny Craig fat-farm, or she is auditioning for the job of Victoria’s ‘batshit-crazy’ Assistant Commissioner for Corpulence, Big Luke Creosote’s job as a heavyweight operator in the Labor Party Police Farce. For O.H. & S. purposes, she probably needs to hang “Caution: Long, Wide Load” signs front and rear.

    She could single handedly ‘George Floyd’ a half-dozen grannies or pregnant housewives at once and free up a dozen other pepper-spraying, windscreen smashing, door-booting Labor Party ‘fugs’ to expand their granny-bashing and intimidation duties for Deadly Dan the Chi-Com Man.

  64. Dinky says:

    It’s said Yoga provides us with an opportunity to step back and take a look at ourselves.

    Maybe she should start from stepping back from the buffet.

  65. Helen says:

    Yoga aint gonna help.

  66. Boambee John says:

    Dinky says:
    June 11, 2021 at 12:41 pm
    So obviously yoga is not a way of slimming ?

    Yes it is. You should have seen her “before” photo.

    CL uses the “before” photo as his gravatar.

  67. Marley McScruffin says:

    The corpulency has spoken.

  68. MikeDee says:

    I think it should read:
    Leave a comment….(I dare ya!)

  69. Rosie says:

    She also ignores the fact that Indian practitioners deliberately exported yoga to the west, to make money.

    Reminds me too of the Indian lady in Australia who objected to white people saying namaste.

    When you’re of the left, anything goes.

  70. TBH says:

    This is one of the best ever comment threads on the Cat

  71. Rosie says:

    Don’t worry guys, you are safe.

    The lady is queer.

  72. Natural Instinct says:

    It’s all about “how you feel” …
    .
    Hi, I’m Jessamyn. I’m in love with yoga.

    Jessamyn Stanley is a yoga teacher, body positivity advocate, and writer based in Durham, North Carolina. Jessamyn uses high energy vinyasa flow as a way to move past mental and emotional barriers. Her classes provide a body positive approach to yoga which celebrates students’ bodies and encourages them to ask “How do I feel?” rather than “How do I look?” when practicing yoga.
    .
    Jessamyn studied with Kimberley Puryear of Asheville Yoga Center’s 230-hour Teacher Training Program and her eponymous yoga lifestyle blog and Instagram attract thousands of followers daily, offering tips and advice for other yoga practitioners while documenting her home yoga practice. Jessamyn contributes to Mind Body Green, Wanderlust, & Elephant Journal. She’s been featured and profiled by a variety of International and National media outlets including Good Morning America, The Daily Mail, New York Magazine, The Sunday Times, New York Times’ Women In The World, & People, among others.

    People usually ask how I began practicing yoga. You can read about that here.

    .
    … and how I can get a book deal.

    Every Body Yoga
    Purchase my new book
    Jessamyn Stanley, a yogi who breaks all the stereotypes, has built a life as an internationally recognized yoga teacher and award-winning Instagram star by combining a deep understanding for yoga with a willingness to share her personal struggles in a way that touches everyone who comes to know her. Now she brings her body-positive, emotionally uplifting approach to yoga in a book that will help every reader discover the power of yoga and how to weave it seamlessly into his or her life.

    … I thought Cats would appreciate the entrepreneurship

  73. Rosie says:

    Good for her making a buck from woke suckers

  74. Cassie of Sydney says:

    “Hi, I’m Jessamyn. I’m in love with yoga.

    Yoga doesn’t love Jessamyn.

    Jessamyn Stanley is a yoga teacher, body positivity advocate, and writer based in Durham, North Carolina. “

    Ah….and there we have it….a “body positivity advocate”….LOL…I suspect Ms Stanley is more “body obesity advocate” than a “yoga teacher”.

  75. Professor Fred Lenin says:

    She is the anchor person for te Maccas Tug owar team ?
    You would need a long rope to tie around her big guts.

  76. PB says:

    Laqueesha be hongry, n’sheeit.

  77. Mick Gold Coast QLD says:

    Iain Russell says at 1:12 pm:

    “Indians hate BIPOCs.”

    Curiosity had me Google it.

    “The acronym BIPOC refers to …”

    You can discover the rest yourself. It is along the lines of what one hears on the way back to the motel after dinner in Townsville CBD mall …

    “Gotta a durrie for a brother?”

    “No.”

    “G’arn ya white c…!”

  78. Daily llama says:

    That’s a screensaver picture if ever there was one. Thanks for the laughs everyone!

  79. Natwally says:

    The word you are looking for is

  80. Mother Lode says:

    Don’t worry guys, you are safe.

    The lady is queer.

    The danger is that she might be hungry.

  81. Gyro Cadiz says:

    CL wins the internet for today.

    So this mastodonic wall of wobbling blubber teaches yoga, eh?

    How?

    She’s heard that the dudes who invented yoga, the Indians, are also Aryans…… and having the intellect of a fruit fly she’s running, no, plodding with that?

    Another thought. Who’s ten-ton Tessie teaching yoga to? Whales?

    I’m trying to imagine the new yoga techniques something as stunningly obese as blubberlips here can come up with… excuse me, gotto go and throw up now.

  82. Hugh says:

    Jessamyn contributes to Mind Body Green, Wanderlust, & Elephant Journal.

    She sure does!

  83. Jock says:

    Dear God! Yoga? Going through the Kama Sutra with such a teacher would turn many Hindus into Buddhists.

  84. JohnJJJ says:

    Jessamyn Stanley, a yogi who breaks all the stereotypes
    and furniture

  85. Figures says:

    I heard she went to a yoga class, then she ate everything at the yoga class, then they had to close the yoga class.

    – Ralph Wiggum

  86. The BigBlueCat says:

    Once seen, it cannot be unseen. How dare you, C.L.!!!!!

    Cassie of Sydney says:
    June 11, 2021 at 12:44 pm
    Besides….she’s culturally appropriating something that doesn’t belong to her.

    Agreed. But don’t tell them that. Besides, she will only claim she got it from other black people ….

    Maybe she should have the conversation about how black supremacy is polluting the West! Maybe they should all leave North America and Europe (along with Australia and New Zealand) and head back to the land of their ancestry if they hate white people so much.

  87. Pedro the Loafer says:

    CL wins the Best Internet Blog Post Headline Evaaah!!

  88. bespoke says:

    I hate you C.L!!!

    😬

  89. Ceres says:

    Don’t worry, she’s not long for this earth.

  90. duncanm says:

    I just threw up a little in my mouth.

  91. covid ate my homework says:

    What would the Bahgwan Shree Rajneesh and Ma Sheela think of this atrocity?

  92. covid ate my homework says:

    Jessamyn Stanley should jumps in the lakes!

  93. Chris says:

    Why is everyone so unkind? Just think of the children!

  94. H B Bear says:

    Crimes against Lycra should be a capital offence.

  95. lotocoti says:

    So unfair.
    She was just beginning to turn her life around.

    Damn that white supremacist Isaac Newton and his racist First Law of Motion.

  96. Geriatric Mayfly says:

    She was just beginning to turn her life around.
    Damn that white supremacist Isaac Newton and his racist First Law of Motion.

    And what could she possibly bang into to get that equal and opposite reaction? Over to you Wile E. Coyote.

  97. RobK says:

    Cause of the earth’s axis wobble discovered.

  98. Geriatric Mayfly says:

    Is that navel an inspection pit? Imagine that filled with lint.

  99. Bruce says:

    That’s one robust wooden stool!

  100. Bruce says:

    If the body is a temple, that’s a whole monastery .

  101. nfw says:

    Wow, a sit down comic.

  102. Robbo says:

    Is it true she has lifetime discount vouchers at McDonalds and Krispy Kreme Doughnuts?

  103. Davey Boy says:

    woah

    nevertheless, soon to star on NITV I’m sure, to illustrate the mass of intersectional oppressions caused and propagated by wapipo

  104. cuckoo says:

    Has anyone ever seen her and the Skywhale balloon at the same time?

  105. Dave of Reedy Creek, Qld says:

    Awful photo but entertaining comments. Love the analogy “…the brains of a fruit fly..”

  106. Epicurious says:

    We need a woke response. How about Magda Z nude? But if you do it please post a trigger warning so I can have a bottle of single malt ready as 1 glass would not suffice.

    Zulu Kilo Two Alpha says:
    June 11, 2021 at 11:47 am
    Her orthopedic surgeon will retire very rich…

    No, not really unless an emergency. Any approach, be it anterio-lateral, anterior or posterior will take forever to cut through “all that yellow stuff”, OMG was I just racist? no because she is of colour but not yellow. All that time would mean the procedure was uneconomic so a good orthopod would pass it down to a less good one and down and down.

    At least if she is in the US she would qualify for the 400kg bed some of the hospitals keep. Simpler just to give her the jab if you know what I mean…..

  107. Ubique says:

    Yogi Bear its is. Please no Yogi Bare, thank you.

  108. Ed Case says:

    Mick Dodson’s now a Yoga Teacher?

  109. Catfeesh? says:

    Oh please. Who among you doesn’t want to be that stool right now?

  110. Elizabeth (Lizzie) Beare says:

    Some like ’em big. But most don’t.

    She’s beautiful just as she is with all the wadding, and don’t you say she isn’t.
    It’s more than a thought crime these days, it’s criminal fat-shaming hate speech.

  111. PoliticoNT says:

    Epicurious – how about someone tracks down the old ‘comedy’ footage of Magda in blackface? That’d get the blood flowing……

  112. PoliticoNT says:

    Meanwhile, nasty fat chick is racist….

  113. mh says:

    Some like ’em big. But most don’t.

    Morrissey – You’re The One For Me, Fatty

  114. Richard says:

    Imagine the size of the stool.

    Pun intended.

  115. The Fifth Bike Rider of the Apocalypse says:

    No wonder she’s BIG.

    She’s eaten the yoga class!

  116. Entropy says:

    One if the two best things about America is there is something for everyone, and if you try you can generally make it.

  117. Rabbi Putin says:

    I sense much positive chi-seburger has flowed into this one.

    “OMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmnmmmmm”

  118. Mark A says:

    PoliticoNT says:
    June 11, 2021 at 8:20 pm

    Easy. Black face.

    Also she talked about it.

  119. Megan says:

    This thread is the very reason I love the Cat.

    Jessamyn’s yoga practice has been a complete waist of time.

  120. Nebia Hill says:

    Thanks to the wit of the commentators here, there is hope in this Brave New Reset/World after all.

    I sincerely thank you all for making me snigger and then some.

    As for CL, what can I say that has not already been said.

    Will go to bed tonight with a smirk on my dial.

  121. Pete of Perth says:

    Why stop at one when you could have two

  122. Papachango says:

    Accordingly ng to Wikipedia , she is

    a “plus-size woman of color,”[2] who self-identifies as a “fat femme” and “queer femme.”

    It didn’t specify their preferred pronouns

    Sheesh.

  123. Ros says:

    Chilly Saturday, what better way to spend it than wandering down this crazy path.

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    MEET JESSAMYN STANLEY
    An inspirational yogi, body positivity advocate, and author: “More than anything, I would just like to be, authentic. Because that will inspire other people to do the same thing.”

    FIND OUT FIRST
    We’ve completely re-imagined our collection. Now available in more sizes and offering a new fit & feel. Stay up to date as we continuously enhance our product and size offering.

    Final offering join The adidas Creators Club, a membership program for true creators united as one. For discounts.

    Forbes is doing its bit to promote Adidas Jessamyn and

    INTRODUCING FORMOTION

    Support where you need it, stretch where you want it. Innovative zoned compression supports your body in motion, while engineered knit gives you maximum flexibility. You’re free to move the way you want to. Get a behind-the-scenes look at how Formotion was developed.
    Women who love working out – whether it’s yoga, strength training, barre or dance – will love our Formotion Sculpt Tights, with zoned, engineered compression based on body mapping and motion studies. The zones are placed in areas where more or less compression is needed, so you feel supported and cradled for every workout. There is high compression at the waist, medium compression at the hips and low compression on the legs. Their unique fit follows your natural movement to help you focus on your game. The leggings are made with Primegreen, a series of high-performance recycled materials. Meanwhile, the Studio Two-Tone Bra lifts, shapes and supports, with a comforting soft feel. With shapewear for sport, you’re free to move however you choose.

    Was my journey worth it? Does this amuse me, bore me or frighten me. All 3 I think.

    And Reimagine, as defined in top jargon nonsense “It’s a completely neutral term, and so is reimagine. You could successfully reimagine a house by turning it into a large cake with rooms inside it, and a front door made of icing, but it would be found lacking when judged against traditional homes in terms of weatherproofing, security, and durability.”

    Adequately covers how one gets from yoga to Jessamyn.

    And so yoga and its new notion of specific bodily postures can join reimagine in the Woke English dictionary along with all of the other words invented or redefined by the Clerisy and friends. At least one wouldn’t be cancelled for speaking of yoga, well at least as long as one isn’t white.

  124. The Sheriff says:

    She should become the poster model for euthanasia.

  125. Dusty says:

    This picture didn’t shock me, nor surprise me. I’m a frequent peruser 4chan’s /fph/ threads, where fit people get motivation to NOT be like these hamplanets and go run and lift more. The amount of mental gymnastics these people do is almost as much as the amount of food they eat. “Oh, hurr it’s genetics” 6kcal+ of food a day is not genetics you sack of blubber. Fasting can get rid of the problem in about two months plus calorie control, and there’s people who have gone from this size down to a third of that in three months. They are mentally ill.

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